It was a cold December morning when I met him. He was struggling with his books, by his car. I offered to help him.
"Thank you" he had said when we reached his classroom, his voice was smooth and rich. He had shaken my hand then walked away. I remember the warmth of his skin on mine, His smooth, soft hands, His full and inviting lips, that often would curl up into a sinfully playful smile. Those inviting lips, I thought. Damn those lips, always tempting me, pulling me in.
"Haley!" My science teacher Mr. Riggs said, interrupting my thoughts, when he caught me staring out the window at the oak tree near the courtyard. My attention snapped from the Oak tree and turned onto Mr. Riggs. He was middle aged, thin, grey streaks running through his black hair and his purpose in life seemed to be making mine a living hell.
"Yes,Sir" I sighed.
"would you mind paying attention for once" he said. I felt the urge to tell him off, but I decided against it. "Not a problem, sir" I said, giving him my full attention.
"What?, no sarcastic remark" he asked, astonished.
The class quietly began to snicker. Ignoring them, I spoke again. "I guess not" I said, before the bell rang.
I grabbed my backpack off the ground and dashed out the door. I rushed toward the girls bathroom, I needed to relax, for a moment. I open the bathroom door, shut it behind me then leaned against it.
Staring at the brown eyed, slim, ivory skinned, curly black haired girl reflecting in the mirror. I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately all I can ever think about is- him. His piercing dark green eyes, His smooth chiseled face, His fairly long, curly dark brown hair so luscious and soft. For days i've been tempted to run my fingers through it, but the thought of his reaction always stopped me.
I waited a few seconds before walking to my last class- his class. I took a deep breath, then continued down the hallway into the classroom. I was the first in class,I slid into my usual seat near the front of the room, and waited for class to begin. "Hello Haley" Mr. Adams my English teacher said, his full irresistible lips curling into a smile, showing most his pearly white teeth. I smiled at him. I had hoped it was just a crush, in the beginning but I knew...I always knew it was something more. The bond between us was inseparable, unbreakable even, I loved his touch soft, but firm. And he was kind and generous, yet funny and virtuosic. I can be myself around him, I don't have to act like something I'm not. And those reasons are the very few reasons, that I was in love with him.
If he only knew.
"Hey, Mr. Adams" I said, dully. He looked at me for a long moment, as if he was trying to figure something out. "Is there something wrong, Haley?" he asked, concerned.
I shrugged. "It's high school, misery is to be expected" I said, flatly. He smirked, and my heart fluttered, as he scooted out of his desk and walked over to mine. I inhaled deeply, he smelled like vanilla, He was young, in his early 20's. He wore a light blue collared shirt which was rolled up at the sleeves and black jeans "Well, Alexandre Dumas once said There is neither happiness nor misery in the world, there is only the comparison of one state to another,nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life"
He said, his dark green eyes dancing. I smiled, as my cheeks turned red, in anger not embarrassment, I wasn't in misery because of high school and it's idiocy, I was in misery because the fact I'm in high school, the only thing that's stopping from being with him- my age and that I was his student. Why did he have to be my teacher? I thought. "So your saying in return of my misery I'll appreciate and understand supreme happiness at some point?" I asked staring him in his still dancing eyes. He nodded, "Yes, Absolutely"
I shook my head, "Your wrong" I laughed. "Happiness can't be guaranteed" I said. He opened his mouth to speak but I didn't let him. "Life is full with-" I stopped when Abigail West my best friend since kindergarten, walked through the door. She was rather short around 4,8, Her long deep red hair fell straightened, past her mid back, just above her bellybutton, which shaped her heart-shaped face perfectly. She was wearing all black today, which was unusual considering she almost always wears bright,vibrant colors.
"Hey Haley" She said, smiling. "Hey Abs" I said, dully.
I stood up, snatched my backpack off the ground and slid in a seat near the window, in the far back of the room. Abigail sat in her usual seat, which was normally behind me. I know she would've followed me to the back if she didn't know I was obviously upset. I took out my journal and refused to look at...Derek, I sighed. I meant Mr. Adams.
The rest of the students entered the classroom and took there seats. Shortly after Mr. Adams began class.
I began to doodle in my notebook.
And I didn't doodle his and my name in a heart or something- that's just not me. Just because i'm forced to attend this moronic facility the government calls high school. Doesn't meant i'm a bumbling idiot school girl, at least not the bumbling part. Although I do agree with the idiot part. Falling in love with your English teacher, I think definitely qualifies if not declares me as an idiot. Especially since I've broken the promise I made to myself...
My parents along with almost every other teenager's parents in America, are divorced. They divorced when I was 12 that's when I promised myself, that I'd never fall in love...because it only leads to pain.
But, Derek proved me wrong. So now I sit here in the back of the class, gazing at him now, wishing I could be with him, wondering if he wished as well, even though I know he couldn't possibly feel the same.
When class was over, I attempted to flee from the room.
But of course he stopped me. "Uh, Haley?" Derek said, sitting on the corner of his desk, looking at the ground.
I closed the door, then walked over to him. "Yes" I sighed.
"About earlier, I never meant to-" I smiled, then cut him off.
"It's not your fault, you were trying to help, and I should've just shut up and let you"I said truthfully, the anger I held earlier fading. He shook his head vigorously. "No, Minds should always be spoken" he encouraged. I smiled. "Your pretty outspoken yourself, do you know that?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I wish I had your confidence in high school" he chuckled. I smiled. "I couldn't stand this place
either when I was your age" he continued.
"So why revisit the very thing you hate" I asked. He smirked. He looked at me for a moment, his eyes locked on mine, which made my heartbeat quicken.
"I always had been happy teaching" he said simply. But I could tell there was something more, something he was hiding.
But what?
"I'm glad your happy" I said. He bit his bottom lip then looked at me. "I'm not" he confessed. "I love teaching I do but...you Ms. Benson. You make teaching extremely difficult" he smiled. My heart raced at the realization that he may feel the same way I do, I visualized what life would be like if we were together. And it didn't look too great, we'd have to be a secret. I looked at him smiling, his green eyes hard now. He exhaled. "I shouldn't be asking this" he whispered. "But I am" he continued. "I...you are by far my favorite student Haley, your so smart and optimistic you view the world differently-" he stopped. When my cell phone began to ring. I sighed then flipped it open. "Yes, Abby" I said.
"Do you need a ride?" she asked. "No, I can walk" I said.
"Fine, Call me when your home ok?" "Yes Abby, I will call you" I said before hanging up. "Sorry" I said, putting the phone back in my pocket. "It's alright" he said.
"what where you saying?" I asked. "I..." he smiled. "I got engaged this morning" he smiled. My heart sank, I choked back tears. "And I want you to be at the wedding" he continued. I nodded, "I'd love to go" I lied, the last thing I wanted to do was watch the man I love marry someone else.
I thought. He smiled, "I'm glad to hear it" he said. "When's the wedding" I asked. "we haven't discussed a date yet" He said.
"Well, she's a lucky girl, I'm jealous" I said in a sarcastic tone, though that was how I truly felt. He smiled.
"See you tomorrow" I said waving him goodbye.
I practically ran down the hallway to my locker.
I just want to get out of here before I burst into tears I thought. My cell phone rung again. I flipped it open.
"What?" I said angrily. "Hello to you too sis" My older brother Declan laughed. "Hows college" I asked as the lump In my throat seemed to disappear. "College? I- Oh...right um... it's great! Quads and Parties and stuff yea..it's so awesome your gonna love it!" he said. "I can't wait" I smiled.
" The reason I called was to tell you that i'm coming home for your birthday" he said. I smiled. "I can't wait Declan" I said.
"It's been too long" I continued. "Your right" he said.
"See you in 2 weeks Haley" he said before hanging up.
I walked into my room and collapsed on the bed.
It was a
I was so exhausted I didn't even realize that- she was sitting in my recliner chair, near my closet. "Hello, Haley" she said, her voice dull. I jumped off the bed, and stared at her.
She was shaped like an hour glass, she had long straight black hair that fell just below her shoulders. Which complimented her hazel eyes. She wore a one shoulder black dress that was hemmed just above her knee's and black heels. "Jane...How did you get in here? I'm the only one home" I asked,suspiciously. Jane was a friend of one of my father's "rich friends" and we've become close friends over the years but she scares me sometimes, and Like today, she mysteriously sneaks in my room...when the doors where locked. "That doesn't matter, what does matter Is that your 18th birthday is coming up soon" she said with a slight smile. I shrugged "so" I said. She smiled, "I want to take you some where ok?" she said. I shook my head I'm not in the mood Jane" I sighed, sitting back on the bed. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing's wrong" I sighed. "Your the worst liar i've ever met" she said dully. "Thanks" I said sarcasticly.
"Seriously what's wrong? Haley you have to be careful about your mood your in when-" she stopped herself. "What?" I asked. She sighed "I can't tell you" she mumbled. "Not yet" she continued. "Tell me what?" I asked. She bit her lip. "I'll tell you before your birthday" she said, just as I heard the front door open downstairs. "Haley" my step mother's bubbly high pitched voice called. I turned away from Jane to face the door. "Up here Megan" I yelled. I turned back to Jane, but she was gone...and my window was still locked. "How does she do that?"I thought. "There you are Haley" she smiled walking in my room. She was in her early 20's had olive skin and long dark brown wavy hair, dark green eyes Megan was my fathers seventh wife, yes seventh. I guess after my mother and he divorced he just didn't care anymore. Megan was actually the nicest of his seven wives, that includes my mother. "Hey Megan" I said faking a smile. "How was school" Brutal I thought. "It was great" I said. "Your lying" she accused a sympathetic look in her eyes.
Note to self: Work on lying skills. "I promise you Megan I'm not" I laughed. "Mhm" she said. "Your mother want's to speak with you...she said she's been trying to get in contact with you all week" I nodded, just as my cell phone rung.
"That's her" Megan said, crossing her arms. "Are you going to stand there the whole time?" I asked. She nodded.
I smiled, then answered the phone. "Hey mom" I sighed.
"Hey Haley how are you" she asked. "I'm fine" I said.
"You wanted to talk to me?" I said, trying to get to the point.
"Yes, I just wanted to inform you that your staying with me for your birthday" she said.
I laughed. "Um..no I don't think so" I said. "I wasn't asking dear" she said flatly. "You lest remember? So you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do mom...it doesn't work that way" I said. "On your birthday you will be with me do you understand?" She said. "No mother I don't understand..." I said. "Well let me explain it to you. You will pack your things, I will pick you up and you will be with me on your birthday" she said. "Really? That's what's gonna happen?" I said angrily. "Because the way I see it, on my 18th birthday I don't have to listen to you anymore" I said staring at Megan who was looking at me in shock. "You have a valid point" she said. "So you'll come over tomorrow and stay until your birthday is here" she said. "That's 2 weeks Dad would never go for that" "We already discussed it earlier, your coming" I hung up the phone, then through it against the wall, breaking it in half. "Damnit" I mumbled. "Haley-" Megan started. "Go away Megan" I said. "Ok, but if you need to talk-" "Just go!" I said tears welling in my eyes. Megan left the room.
I sat on my bed. The last thing I want is to spend my time with some insane woman who works at a witchcraft store for a living and enjoys spending her spare time reading weird voodoo magic books, a insane voodoo loving woman who I have the pleasure of calling Mom.
I took a deep breath then grabbed a towel and took a bath.
Bathing always seemed to make my problems slip away, temporarily anyway. I closed my eyes, and just laid there peacefully...
I saw and blurry image come into focus. It was of a girl. Her beauty was envious. She had blonde hair that fell past her shoulders, she had gentle light blue eyes and she wore all black. She was in the forest and she was smiling at a black wolf, behind them past the leaves was what looked like a war going on, it looked like she didn't notice, or didn't care. The image changed to another blonde girl. She was reading out loud from out of a black book. The image changed again, to a dangerously attractive man. He had straightened dark brown hair and brown eyes holding hands with a girl who looked like Jane...No, the girl was Jane. The image then changed to him running from something. The flashing of images stopped.
Then there was complete darkness. Suddenly whispers echoed in my head, They spoke so fast, I could hardly make out what they were saying. Evil,Death,Envy,Monster,Awakened,Destruction... was all I could make out. Then suddenly the whispers stopped.
I opened my eyes. I was underwater, I must have fell asleep I thought. I tried to sit up so I could breathe, but I couldn't. Something was pulling me down by my ankle. I struggled to get out it's grasp. I gripped on to the sides of the tub and yanked myself up. I exhaled the moment my head was out of the water. I looked down by my ankles, to see what was holding me down, but there was nothing there. It was a dream, I knew it was It had to be I thought.