Three Year War

Alright, before you hardcore fans get on my ass about 'WTF THIS IS NOT RELATED TO THE TIMELINE AT ALL', I know. I'm a casual Naruto fan. I do know a good deal about the series, but I only keep up with the English version. This is totally non canonical towards the storyline. Please accept the fact I'm using names from the actual series as well. And they will probably have the same attitudes as the ones from the show. Please enjoy, also. P.S: I know Semper Fi isn't an expression they'd use. OOC. So, yeah. Read the story.

Chapter One:

My Name is Ikanobori.

I am Ikanobori Umino. I was born to the Umino clan 24 years ago. My family consists of very few now, after the three year war. It's just me and my brother now. My brother's name is Iruka Umino. My name means Kite. His name means Sea Dolphin. We were not put in the same platoons during the war, unfortunately. You're probably wondering what this 'three year war' was, come to think of it. The Three Year War was declared between the Konoha village and the Suna village due to the assassinations of two important political figures, one in each village. The Suna village demanded war against us, and we had no choice but to accept and fight. The civilians wanted revenge, and with our new policy, which was to give the people what they wanted, we ended up in war. I was assigned to Platoon D-27. My squad leader was the utmost respectable Jonin in Konoha. His name was Kakashi Hatake. He had white silvery white hair. His headband was black and covered one of his eyes, which had been replaced when he was young with a Saringan, an eye that can copy shinobi techniques. He wore a black mask that started at the top of his nose, and seemed to disappear into his black shirt. He wore a green flak jacket, which was a vest worn by all ranks Chuunin through Jonin. I am a Chuunin, and I'm a school teacher at the Konoha Academy. I was put into active duty for the military though during the war. Kakashi was a tall man in his mid-thirties, and spoke in a soft, somewhat condescending yet soothing voice. He was very relaxed.

Another man in my squad was a close friend of mine, named Shikamaru Nara. He was slender, like Kakashi, but not as tall. He was more of the lanky type. He had a ponytail like me, except his hair was black, and mine was brown. He was really apathetic, as well as lazy. He was always saying one thing or another was 'a drag', or 'bothersome'. I liked him, though. We could relate. He was lazy and apathetic, I was lazy, but I cared.

Then, we had Sasuke Uchiha, the corporal of the group, was a very skilled ninja. He was very close to surpassing Kakashi. He was really resilient. He never said anything to anyone, and just ignored pretty much everyone.

Last, but not least, was Sakura Haruno. She's really, really cute. I think I'm in love with her. But, she was in love with Sasuke. My friend Shikamaru told me that it was hopeless. She only pays attention to Sasuke, and that she's been like that since grade school. Damn. Cold.

Anyway, when our squad was assigned, we were told to wait in Fort Morino, for Kakashi to come and lead us to our first assignment. The first battle would be five platoons vs. five platoons, or so we were told. The squads from Konoha would be C-80, V-2, A-64, M-44 and D-27 (us). We were all waiting in the small room at Fort Morino, with two ANBU Black Ops guarding the doors. We were all on high alert ever since the most recent terrorist attack, which was a nerve gas attack two miles from where we stood, at a crowded civilian shopping center. Three ninja died, and twelve were injured severely. 20 civilians died, and 2 were injured. It could've been worse. We were on guard though, and that's all that mattered. Kakashi eventually arrived, late as our CO said he'd be, and he looked us over with a 'they'll do' nod.

"Platoon Delta two-seven," he said, and slammed a folder onto a steel desk in front of the room. The room was lit by old fluorescent lights, so, it wasn't the greatest place to read something. "Sasuke Uchiha…say, I remember you from Squad Seven when I was a teacher…good to see you again." There was an awkward silence throughout the room.

"…Please don't tell me you haven't seen who's in your squad yet…" groaned Shikamaru.

"Okay, then I won't." replied Kakashi, smartly. Shikamaru mumbled something incoherently, and Kakashi went back to going over the roll.

"Uh…Sakura Haruno…cool" he said. "I don't know why they'd put us three in a squad, but, whatever. You two are very skilled."

"Mmm…" sighed Sakura.

"She's probably off in some perverse fantasy about Sasuke" whispered Shikamaru. I looked over at him and nearly laughed, when I saw Sakura's hand smack him in the back of the head. "Hey!" he shouted. "That hurt!"

"Yeah, I got a technique that'll hurt even more if you say something like that again! It's called my knee in your balls!" she retorted.

"That uh…that there sounds like a pretty good technique, Sakura." I said, trying to be humorous, yet impress Sakura at the same time.

"Uh…thanks?" she replied.

Oh man…that was lame I thought to myself, rolling my eyes with embarrassment.

"Um…Ikanobori…Umino?" said Kakashi, looking up from his papers, his visible eye drooping.

"Uh…right here, sir!" I shouted, not realizing how loud I was. I even had the ANBU looking at me. I looked down at the ground, embarrassed. "Sorry, sir. I'm a little…"

"Nothing to be ashamed of, soldier. You and Sasuke are the only ones I don't think are total idiots right now…" I was flattered. I looked up, and my cheeks were red from embarrassment. Sakura glanced over at me, her mouth slightly agape. Sasuke kind of looked at me, as a sign of approval. I didn't have any problems with him; I just wanted to know more about him is all.

"Um…anyway…next up on the roll is Shikamaru Nara…" he continued.

"Right here…" sighed Shikamaru.

"You didn't let me finish" replied Kakashi. "I was going to say don't bother responding, since I know how to use the process of elimination. You don't think I'm stupid, or anything, do you?"

"No, sir."

"Oh, okay then. Squad, let's move outside where we'll meet up with the other four squads and receive your last rites."

"Sir, yes, sir!" we shouted in unison. We filed out the door, one by one, where we met with the four other squads I had mentioned earlier. There were five priests out there, one representing each religion. I was Catholic, so I kneeled down in the fourth line, along with some guys I didn't know. Kakashi was agnostic and just stood there, kind of watching. When the priest got to me, he said three Hail Mary's for me, using his rosary, and gave me communion bread. After our last rites, the sixth Hokage (Konahomaru) walked in front of us, and prepared to give a speech.

"Hello. As you know, you all are going off into a battle against the Suna village. I hope at least you feel honored to kick off this war. But, before I go on to my speech, I must remind you: some of you may not return. All of you may not return. I don't know what's going to happen, and neither do you. Nor does the Suna village, or the Kazekage. But please keep in mind: you are shinobi from the Konoha village. No one can take that away from you. Even if we lose this war, and they destroy our village, no one will forget us. We will leave everything we can for history's sake. I'm proud of all of you. I don't know many of you, but I'm proud of you, anyway. Congratulations. You are warriors. All of you. Don't forget that. Get out there, and kick ass. Semper Fidelis."

"Woo! Hell yeah, sir! We'll send them back crying to that punk bitch they call a leader!" shouted an unknown soldier from the crowd. There was shouting, hooting, and mumbling amongst us. I started a conversation with Shikamaru.

"What a drag…" he groaned.

"Well, at least we get paid. Want to go out for drinks tonight, after this?" I replied, casually.

"I guess so. Look at Sasuke over there, man. Acting all pretentious, just standing there, and looking at the sky. He acts like he's not excited, but he knows he is. Everyone is."

"Well, actually, I'm not really looking forward to this. I'm really nervous right now."

As soon as I said that, one of the shouting soldiers looked over at me and said, "Hey man! That's why you should have gone out drinkin' with us last night, dude! We all got laid, dude!"

I narrowed my eyes, and asked wisely, "…Do I know you?"

"Well…no, but still dude!"

"Yeah, exactly. Let's just do this."

"Squad Delta Twenty Seven! Assemble!" shouted Kakashi. We all forced our way out of the crowd, and circled around Kakashi. "As you may or may not know, we're leading, along with Squad Victor Two. Be really careful. If one of you dies, I don't know what I'd do. Actually, yeah, I know what I'd do. I'd go on living and have a replacement for you in a few days. So, never mind. Go ahead and die. It's not really any of my concern."

"That's awfully…motivating" replied Sakura, sarcastically.

"Well, that's not really my job, per se. I just need to lead you guys into battle, and kill a few people. I don't baby-sit you guys. I mean, you're all either 18 or older. Deal with it" he replied.

"Can we please just get on with this?" moaned Sasuke.

"Sasuke has a point, guys. Stop being so immature and let's get out there to do our job!" said Sakura, excitedly.

"You were the one that started this stupid argument" mumbled Shikamaru. "Don't get on us three."

"Shut up, Shikamaru!" she shouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin your moment with Sasuke?" he retorted.

"I have a great idea, guys. It's called 'shut up and start the mission'. It's pretty fun" said Kakashi, lazily.

"Hey, Kakashi!" shouted the Jonin leader from squad Victor Two. "I don't know what you're doing over there with your squad in a small circle around you, but I don't like it! C'mon and catch up with us!"

Kakashi sighed, and then retorted smartly, "I'm not exactly sure why you're fantasizing about me and younger men and women, but I don't really question sexual orientation and tastes, unlike you. But, I'll go ahead and 'catch up' with you guys."

The Jonin was speechless, as our squad jumped onto the tree trunks and hopped away deep into the forest. I was jumping along, right behind Sakura, and next to Shikamaru. Shikamaru was a slightly lower rank than me, due to his laziness. I couldn't believe it, though. I was right behind the girl of my dreams. She was so beautiful, though. So beautiful, that I was lost in what the hell I was doing, that is, until several senbon tore into my vest.

"Shit!" I yelled, as I lost my footing, and hit my head on a tree limb. I was honestly embarrassed. I could've dodged those! But, no. I was stuck in my own fantasy world about Sakura. I fell to the ground, hard, knocking the breath out of me. She jumped to the ground and hunched over me, and it all felt like a dream, suddenly. Shikamaru, Kakashi, and Sasuke all formed a circle around me.

"Ikanobori!" she yelled. "Are you alright?! That was so stupid of you! Be careful next time!"

"I'm fine!" I half-yelled. I groaned as I got up slowly, and brushed myself off. "I apologize, Kakashi-sensei. I phased out. It will not happen again, I promise."

"Don't worry about it, Ikanbori. It happens to everyone once in a while. Now, let's continue our way to the battle site. That was a cheap and illegal shot by that ass" he replied, softly. We began running on the ground now, with V-2 in the trees, since we were getting pretty close to the battle site. We readied our kunai and shuriken. We finally stopped after about five minutes of constant running, or so, and looked around the battle site.

"Careful…they could be anywhere" said a soldier from Victor squad. Just as he said that, two shinobi with partial turbans around their heads, steel masks around their jaw, and black masks covering everything on their face but their eyes, popped out of the ground. They both had headbands on with the hourglass-like symbol representing the Suna village. Before we had a chance to react, one of them threw out a kunai whip chain, and tried to wrap it around Kakashi. He dodged it by jumping into the air, flipping around, and balancing his chakra well enough so that he could land on it in mid air, and run at full speed towards him. As he did this, though, the second one tried the cut him off by using his steel claws and long robs to blind him and make his flak jacket useless. Sasuke jumped in the middle of this attempt, whipped out two kunai, blocking the claws, and kneed him in the groin. He then proceeded to shove one of the kunai into the ninja's chest, then spin around and slit his throat with the other one. Blood spurted onto Sasuke's green flak jacket, making it somewhat colorful. Kakashi landed three hard kicks, spinning gracefully around after each one, and nailing them into the remaining ninja's face. He flew back, and rolled like a ball for a few feet, when I threw my self forward, and removed a kunai from it's holster on my belt, and as he got up from Kakashi's powerful kicks, I started drawing back the kunai, preparing to thrust my arm forward and dig the kunai straight into his heart, but before I could do so, another Suna ninja appeared in front of me, threw sand in my eyes, twirled around, and kicked me in my jaw. This sent me spinning backwards onto the ground. Blood was pouring out of my mouth, and my eyes were watering from the stinging of the sand. The shinobi, who was obviously a Jonin, turned his head to Kakashi, his brownish robes flowing majestically. He walked over to him, and Kakashi did nothing.

"Kakashi!" I shouted. "Do something! He'll kill you!" He simply stood there like a fool. That's when I learned that he had Kakashi in some kind of paralysis jutsu. He removed a windmill shurikan from his back, twirled it around, and cut off Kakashi's head. "No!" I shouted. I ran forward screaming, "I'll kill you, you heartless bastard!" I jumped in the air, kicked him three times, and then tried shoving a kunai into his face. He simply stood there unphased, grabbed my wrist, squeezed it, and kneed me in the stomach. He threw me in the air, and when I landed about midway, he kicked me in the stomach. I flew and hit a tree, leaving an almost cartoon-like impact of me there. I slid down, and noticed Kakashi had turned into a log. Everyone's focus was on that log. What the hell happened? Just then, Kakashi appeared behind the Jonin, and whispered 'fool', then snapped his neck quickly and precisely. He had used the replacement jutsu to fool the Jonin into thinking he was falling for the paralysis jutsu! My attention turned back to the ninja I was aiming to kill. He was still there, trying to recover from Kakashi's kicks, and I forced myself up from the blow I receive by the Jonin earlier. My back was killing me, and my stomach had some internal bleeding. I vomited up blood and I had a sense of inertia as I got up and felt really woozy for a second. I forced myself to concentrate. He was still getting up, and readying his kunai whip chain for a second strike. Why was no one doing anything? I could barely fight this guy. I knew he was in better shape than me. I turned my head to everyone else. More shinobi had appeared out of the woods! They were fighting like madmen against a helpless Victor squad, and the only thing I could do was aim for this one guy. Damn it! But I had to do something. That whip chain was deadlier than any weapon we were armed with. I charged him and yelled out a battle cry. He simply ignored me and tried to steady his weapon. I jumped in the air as he fired off his whip chain into the trees. He wouldn't be able to turn in time. I had him locked. I threw myself and my kunai onto his back, and shoved it as far as it would go into him. He wasn't dead! What the hell? I just shoved it nearly right through him. I couldn't let this distract me. I rolled over and under him, then elbowed him in the stomach. This elevated him a few feet. I turned around quickly, and threw a backfist into his jaw, crushing it partially. I then kicked him square in the chest, shoving him back a few feet. I then proceeded to jump back, and throw three shurikan directly into his chest, penetrating his armor, and hitting his vital organs. He groaned and coughed, spewing blood out of the holes in his mask. He couldn't breathe. Idiot should've removed his mask in case of something like that. He fell to his knees, but fired another whip chain. It missed me, slashing my arm, and flew into the trees. The Jonin leading Victor squad had his back turned the whole time, the whip chain sliced through him like a knife through melted butter, and he fell out of the tree and onto the ground. His opponent, another Jonin from one of the squads had emerged victorious. A thin smile spread across his face. I was in shock.

"No!" I shouted. I ran towards him, hopping along tree limbs, and tackled him to the ground. He was unprepared. "You son of a bitch!" I removed two kunai, and shoved them both deep into his jugular veins. He gasped for air, but there was none for him. "Die." I said without emotion. Blood was streaked across my face and clothing. Kakashi jumped over to me, presumably to check on me. A young shinobi appeared near him, trying to block his path.

"I'll give you a choice. Either leave, and live a full, healthy life, or die right now" he said. The ninja's expression, or what we could see of it, hardened.

"I guess that's a no?" questioned Kakashi. "Fine. Have it your way" he finished smoothly, and without even trying, spun around at an unbelievable speed, and nailed the ninja in the temple, penetrating his skull, and spraying parts of it into his brain. He fell to the ground, seized, and died. "Pity. He looked so young. Anyway, Ikanobori, are you alright?" I said nothing. I simply was smirking angrily in the face of my dead opponent, who had stopped bleeding. "His death wasn't your fault, you know. He wasn't prepared. These two had some sort of pact. Now c'mon. Let's finish up the rest of the bastards here."

"Yes, sir" I said. I got up and hopped back into the trees. I saw Shikamaru. He had locked his opponents' shadows into his.

"Do you realize your mistake?" he asked the shinobi he was fighting. "I'll give you a hint: We're in the shade. Covered by trees. I'm part of the Shika-Inu-Cho trio. My specialty is shadow possession. You guys are amateurs. Well, less room for idiots like you, more room for intelligent, civilized people."

"Shut up you punk kid!" one of them shouted.

"Hey" I said. "Take that back. You uh…don't want to piss this guy off."

Shikamaru chuckled. "No need, my good friend. These punks pissed me off when they got here."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Please, continue with your business, then" I replied, jokingly. He then proceeded to use shadows to crawl up their bodies, grab their necks, and break them, then push them onto the ground to leave them to a slow death.

"Hey, you two!" shouted Sakura. I looked over at her, with a loving expression in my eyes (which was unknown to me at the time). "Uh…sorry, Ikanobori. I didn't mean to yell at you. I meant Shikamaru needed to stop fooling around and help out." Shikamaru looked at me funny.

"Then what the hell did the say 'you two' for?" he whispered sharply and condescendingly. I didn't know why she was being so nice to me all of a sudden. Had she finally realized I wasn't trying to act so lame and stupid around her? That I was only trying to impress her and gain her respect (and her love…heh)? I ignored it, and went back to work. We had finished up with about two squads when squads Alpha-sixty four and Mike-forty four showed up at the scene. The attacks suddenly ceased.

"Are you guys alright?" asked the Jonin leader from squad A-64. I kind of knew him. His name was Ebisu. His last name was unknown to me. He wore black glasses, a black headband that covered the entire top of his head, and a black jumpsuit. The only thing he was wearing that wasn't black was his combat flak jacket.

"Yeah…I think we're fine, at least" replied Kakashi.

"Tell me, how many casualties?"

"Two. The Jonin from squad Victor oh-two, and a chuunin from Victor oh-two."

"Hm" said Ebisu. "Well, the men in Victor squad aren't exactly known for their skills. But, still, you guys got the job done, hastily or not." Ebisu whispered into his CB radio to squad Charlie eighty (C-80), to come on in. They materialized out of nowhere in front of us. We all knew the leader from this squad. He had the nine tailed fox inside of him. His name was Naruto Uzumaki.

"What's going on, guys?" he said, happily.

"Naruto, there's really nothing to smile about" said Sasuke. "We have two dead, plenty of injured, and we still have three squads to go."

"Eh, you've always been the pessimist, Sasuke" Naruto replied, smartly. "Look on the bright side. Three is less than five!"

"Yes, Naruto, your math skills are amazing" replied Kakashi, sarcastically. "But three squads doesn't just mean three people. Three squads means fifteen people."

"So what?!" he shouted. "Bring 'em on! I'm not scared!" Just then, a mysterious figure dressed in all black with purple flowing robes appeared behind him. He had grey skin, and long black hair.

"So…tell me nine tailed fox" he said. We were all in shock. There was nothing we could do. "Does this scare you?" He suddenly created a huge snake that loomed down upon us.

"No! Oh God, no!" shouted a chuunin from Charlie squad.

"Aw, relax!" shouted Naruto. "There's nothing to be worried about."

"Sir! With all due respect, are you insane, or something?! That's Orochimaru! We have to get out of here!" Just then, the snake came crashing down upon us. It killed three members from different squads. One from Alpha, one from Victor, and one from Charlie squad. The rest of us scattered. Everyone was hidden but Sakura. Where the hell was she? I looked around frantically. I eventually saw her. She had been blown away by the large snake crashing down. She was trying to recover, as Orochimaru prepared another strike with his snake.

"No!" I shouted.

"Don't be a fool, Ikanobori!" yelled Kakashi. I didn't listen. I jumped into the open and grabbed Sakura, just as the snake crushed the earth below it. I was hidden with Sakura now. A few of my teammates were in sight, Shikamaru, and Ebisu were the only ones I saw. The rest were on the other side.

"Sakura!" I whispered sharply. "Please! Wake up! We have to retreat. Don't go out on us now!"

She dimly opened her eyes. She looked so beautiful. "…Ikanobori? Is that you?" she asked.

"Yeah…yeah, it's me." I whispered happily.

"You saved me…"

"Yeah…I guess so" my cheeks turned red, and my eyes closed with embarrassment. This was like some cheesy novel.

"Oh, Ikanobori!" she said, and hugged me. I was caught off guard, and fell backwards.

"Uh…sorry!" I said, rubbing the back of my head. I do that when I'm embarrassed.

"It's fine! Just watch out for those ninja behind you!" she yelped. I turned around. There were three ninja from the sound village.

"Say…Shikamaru, Ebisu" I slyly said. "How about one each?"

"Sounds good!" shouted Shikamaru. We each charged them and eventually killed them using a combination of lethal kicks and punches. When we were done, we all turned around. Time to face Orochimaru. But, when we got out of the woods, he was gone. ANBU had chased him away. The three remaining squads were disposed of by the ANBU, because we were heading home.

Earlier…

"Orochimaru…I thought we had an agreement. This war would take place between only us, the Suna village, and them, the Konoha village."

"Well, I'm sorry, Mizukage…I just couldn't wait."

"Dammit, I'm sick of this shit! I said don't interfere!"

"Do not question my actions! I will join this war whether you like it or not!"

"N-!"

There was silence from the Mizukage. Orochimaru disappeared into thin air.

Back in Konoha…

"Well, that was quite an experience…" mumbled Kakashi. "You guys are on leave for a few days, but remember to stay alert…so…bye!"

"Sir, yes sir!" we replied in unison. Everyone scattered, and as I walked away, Sakura caught up with me.

"Oh, hey Sakura. Sorry for acting like a dick earlier, but it w-." I started.

"Shhh…" she covered my mouth up. "Look…there was something I wanted to give you earlier when you saved me, but I didn't have time…so here it is now."

I was in shock.

She kissed me.

Author's moment!

Hey, author here. I just wanted to say I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I apologize for the length. I just couldn't stop. Gawd. Anyway, this'll be continued in chapter two! See you guys later!