(A.N. /starts laughing hysterically/ Ok ok I know when everyone looks at the pairing and summery they think 'EWWWWWW! SICK! HAS SHE LOST HER MIND!' And yes I have lost my mind. But I just wanted to write a funny pointless one shot. And since I love to torture Kikyo I thought I'd put her with Jaken. And I think it's a good idea. Anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my ass. I'm not making you read this. And my brother said "Your putting Kikyo and Jaken together? Just think about how ugly their kids would be! Jaken's body and Kikyo's head..." Needless to say I bursted out laughing. I think Jacob really is crazy... how could he not be? He is in my family!
Disclaimer: Do you honestly think the person who thought of InuYasha would put Kikyo and Jaken together?)
/Jaken's POV/
I am waiting for Sesshomaru to return as usual. He never takes me with him for anything important. I am so neglected... Why do I have to stay and guard the human? She is not important.
Wait what's that noise!
/Normal POV/ (I haven't done normal POV for a while have I?)
A huge hawk demon swoops down into the clearing grabbing the weakest thing there including Rin, and the rabbit she is looking at. Before Jaken can react he is yanked from the ground and into the hawk demons talons.
Rin looks his way for a second shrugs and goes back to staring at the rabbit.
/Meanwhile/
Kikyo is gathering herbs so she can blend in as a miko at the village she is staying at. Little children are running around stomping on said herbs but that wasn't her concern. She doesn't really care if the people at the village have squashed herbs or not.
Then all the children scream and run towards the village. Kikyo looks up and sees the ugliest thing in a beautiful hawk demons claws. So she shot the ugly thing out of its claws so the hawk wouldn't get sick from eating it.
/Jaken's POV/
I fall from the hawks grasp and see the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Next to Sesshomaru of course! A woman is standing in front of me with a bow in her hand. She saved me!
/Normal POV/
Kikyo notices the ugly thing start to move and screams at the top of her lungs. She jumps up and down shouting "SOMEONE KILL THAT UGLY THING!"
Of course Jaken thinks she means the flower that is also in front of Kikyo. So Jaken, in order to protect a beautiful woman, jumps up and stomps on the flower.
Kikyo is still screaming and yelling and over all throwing a fit about the whole thing. Jaken thinks that she thinks he is rude for not introducing himself so he takes her hand and kisses it. And says "Hello milady! My name is Jaken! What is the name of such a beautiful maiden?"
And Kikyo says "AHHHHHH! IT'S TALKING! MAKE IT STOP! SOMEONE! PLEASE! GET THAT UGLY THING OFF OF ME!"
And Jaken being the gentlemen that he is (A.N. /cough/) thinks Kikyo is talking about the lady bug that is crawling along Kikyo's arm, so he grabs the lady bug and eats it because he is a toad demon!
"AHHHHHH! IT'S TRYING TO MOLEST ME!" At this point Kikyo is running around like a chicken with its head cut off but Jaken doesn't care he still doesn't see that it's HIM that she is disgusted with and not yet another flower or bug.
Kikyo partly comes to her senses and runs away from the dam toad. She runs into the village screaming "DEMON! UGLY MONTROUS DEMON! SOMEONE KILL IT!"
Of course that didn't help the parents that we're trying to convince their kids that their isn't any thing in the woods to be afraid of.
Jaken of course ever loyal follows after her and when everyone in the village sees what she is afraid of they also run as fast as they can away from the ugly thing.
Jaken by now is extremely mad at every bug or flower he passes thinking that it is the problem.
Kikyo runs all the way to a cave in the middle of no where along with the rest of the village and Jaken is still looking for them.
/Back with Rin/
Rin looks up from the flowers she managed to gather when Jaken left. Sesshomaru walks into the clearing and says "Rin, where is Jaken?"
"Oh, a hawk demon took him." Rin says casually
Sesshomaru nods and says "Then come Rin. We must go before the demon spits him out and he comes back."
Rin grins and follows Sesshomaru as he walks in the opposite of the direction that Jaken went
THE END!
(A.N. I made a c2 community if anyone would like to help with it tell me.)