Chapter 1
"Then you`re going from to turn to a-" Aubrey's choreography demonstration is cut off by a loud buzzing coming from Beca's backpack. "Ear Spike, want to answer that?"
Although Aubrey and Beca had been getting along better, they still had their moments. And interrupting a rehearsal was usually the cause of these 'moments'.
"'Kay," The tiny brunette responds casually. She quickly searches through her bag before retrieving the phone and heading out of the practice room and into the biting December air. She leisurely walks down the sidewalk along the edge of the campus. "Hello?"
"Hi, is this Ms. Rebeca Mitchell?" A formal sounding woman answers her. Her speech is clipped and quick, making it sound as if she's rushing.
"Um, yeah, that's me…" Beca replies awkwardly, confused with the conversation she's just brought herself into. "Can I ask who I'm speaking to?"
"My name is Diane McCall," The other woman's voice becomes more urgent and hesitant as she speaks. "I'm a social worker for the Baton Rouge Children's Foster Care. I'm in charge of placing kids in suitable homes, whether that is with a family member or an entirely new family-"
"I-I'm sorry to interrupt, but why are you calling me?"
"If I'm correct, you gave birth to a baby girl on August 9th 2010, approximately four years ago. We recorded your information, upon your consent, in case anything was to happen to her adoptive parents. Seeing that you are twenty and no longer a minor, we are authorized to contact you in the case of an emergency."
Beca's words caught in her throat, tears collecting in her eyes. To say the least, this is not what she was expecting. This lady was talking about her daughter. The little girl who had been torn from her life so long ago. Beca had wanted to keep her. She hadn't wanted anything more in her entire life. But her father would have thrown her out and Beca didn't want that life for a child. But she hadn't expected what would happen. Her daughter had been taken away from her before Beca even got to hold her. She hadn't been contacted since, didn't even know her name. She hadn't ever seen her; she didn't know what her daughter looked like. It was unbearable to think about her and despite Beca's best attempts, she did everyday. The change in Beca was devastating. Believe or not she used to be a normal teenager. Not exactly popular but by no means a loser. She was in the Drama and Choral department and by far, their star. She'd kind of withdrew herself when she found out she was pregnant but after the initial shock, she was fine. Losing her child had been what finally broke her. To cope she had changed her entire outlook on the world. Her motto became 'Fuck it', she got piercings and tattoos, changed her entire wardrobe, and became unofficially officially known as 'the alt girl'. She had a piece missing, a large part of her heart, gone. And to compensate she pushed away everyone who could make her feel even half as devastated as she had been (and still was). No feelings were better than the unrelenting, all-encompassing pain she had gone through after losing her baby.
"What happened? Is she ok?" Beca's asks fervently, breaking off at a jog toward her dorm room. Even if nothing was wrong and she didn't have to do anything, she still wanted to be alone after being so forcefully reminded of her lost daughter.
"Her adoptive mother died only months after she was taken home and her father's custody has been removed. He was charged with attempted murder along with several other things relating to abuse and starvation. He was sentenced to fifteen years in prison with five years parole-"
"What did he do to my daughter?" Beca's asks frantically. She can feel herself slowly becoming more and more overwhelmed, she just wants to disappear. But, the maternal instinct to protect her baby is stronger than anything she's ever felt and she pushes aside her other feelings of fear.
"If you could come to the office we can discuss further, Ms. Mitchell. Could we set up an appointment?"
"Can I come down now? I want to talk now."
"Oh, um, sure, I guess that could work. I'll see you here soon?"
"I'll be there in a half an hour."
Beca hangs up before breaking off at a sprint down the last block to her dorm. She doesn't bother taking the elevator, instead stumbling through the seven flights of stairs to her floor. Her keys fall out of her hand as she tries to unlock the door; she desperately searches for her backpack before remembering that she left it in the practice room and decides that it isn't important anyway, and trips over her bin of clothes on the way out the door. Thank god Kimmy Jin isn't there to see it.
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Beca bursts through the glass doors into the immaculate lobby Diane had given her directions to. Her hair is disheveled, her boots are on the wrong feet and untied, the complete image of disarray.
"Where's Diane McCall?" she blurts out, frightening the secretary with her ferocity. "I have an appointment just tell me where I can find her office." The frazzled women at the desk points down the hallway to her left and before she can blink Beca is gone. She jogs past the doors, her eyes skimming over the name plaques until she finds Diane's.
"I'm here, I'm here," Beca skids into the office after almost running past it. "I spoke to you on the phone. I'm Rebeca Mitchell. I have my I.D." She rips the card from her wallets and thrusts it in Diane's direction.
Diane looks to be around her mid-thirties, has a short blonde bob, and is at least 5`8 and with the heels, she her towers over a barely five foot Beca Mitchell. She seems unfazed by Beca's outburst and motions for her to take a seat.
"I know, sweetheart," Diane passes the I.D. back to Beca with a small smile. "As I said earlier, your daughter has been taken from her adoptive father and is currently in custody of the state." She states firmly, not bothering to beat around the bush. "I've pulled some strings and if you agree, you are allowed to adopt your daughter."
Beca nods automatically, not sparing a thought outside of her decision. Since the day her daughter was torn from her, Beca has wanted nothing more in life. She needs to see her daughter, to know her name, to hold her as she falls asleep, to take her to the park and spend hours on the swings, to hug her and kiss her and never let her leave again.
"I want that," Beca replies quickly, barely letting Diane finish her sentence. "That's what I want, what do I have to do?"
Diane smiles sweetly and nods her head before removing a file from her desk drawer. "Her current parent custody has been terminated so this is already a low risk adoption." She states, reading through her lists. "Were stretching the truth by saying you're a relative but not much and you'll be twenty one by the time she's in your full custody-"
"What's her name?" Beca cuts in desperately.
"Her name is Anna Claire Hudson," The older woman informs with an empathetic smile. "We'll need you to sign a few forms, the court will check record, and you'll need to sit in on a court hearing determining what type of care Anna would most need."
"How soon do you think I can see her?" Beca asks; her voice weak with hope and excitement. "And why was she taken from father?" she adds as an afterthought.
"We'll go more in depth during the hearing, but I can tell you the very basics. There had already been several reports of abuse but no one had ever gotten involved until about two weeks ago. The neighbors had called the police complaining of screaming coming from the Hudson household. When the police went to investigate they found Paul Hudson, Ann's adoptive father, attempting to drown her in the bath tub. She was still conscious when they pulled her from the water and other than some bruising and a minor concussion, she's healthy." Diane finishes tensely and begins studying her papers again. "And you can begin regular visits with her when the registration and hearing are finished and you have been deemed a fit parent."
Beca nods her head, too stunned to speak. Her mouth hangs slightly ajar and she stares at her lap, fighting to hold back tears. She had given her daughter to two seemingly perfect parents and now she was finding out she had placed her child in the care of a monster. Her baby, her poor baby, had to go through these horrible feats because she of her misjudgment.
"Can I see a picture of her before I leave?" Beca asks quietly after signing several forms and listening to Diane lecture on and on about the process of adoption. Beca didn't care how long it took, how much money or effort, she needed her baby back.
"Sure," Diane nods and begins rummaging through several folders before lifting out a piece of paper containing two frames. The first is tiny girl with pixie-like features; a button nose, large stormy blue eyes, sweeping lashes, and two rosy red lips pulled back in a smile. Her chocolate curls hang loosely around her face, a few stray wisps blowing across her nose and mouth. She has unblemished porcelain skin, contrasting to her dark locks perfectly. The second is of a petite girl cowering away from the dark lens of the camera. Her hair hangs limply, as if it hadn't been brushed in days. Her porcelain skin has taken on a more gray pallor and her beautiful; ocean blue eyes were now dark and frightened. But even damaged and scared, she was perfect.
"Can I keep this?" The tiny woman asks, her voice is distant and her gaze remains fixed on the little girl in the photos.
"Yeah, sure," Diane assures her. "Those are just copies anyway."
Beca nods and holds the paper a little tighter, knowing that she'll be able to keep this picture of her daughter. After so many years she can finally place a face on the child she had dreamed of. This perfect little girl, practically the spitting image of her mother, this was her daughter. This was her baby girl. The one she had fought for since the day she found out she was pregnant. The one who's heartbeat had brought Beca such a fierce love just upon hearing it. The one who's picture on the ultrasound machine had brought Beca to tears for the first time in nine years. The one whose cries had echoed around the room after twenty seven hours of labor. The one whose very existence had changed Beca forever. She was a parent without a child to call her own… until now.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?" Diane asks, breaking Beca from her daze.
"Oh, yeah… yeah," The tiny woman stands abruptly, exiting the office and racing out of the building. It's becoming harder and harder to breathe by the time she gets into her car. She pushes all her thoughts aside although the heaviness of the topic still lingers as she drives home. She makes it all the way to campus and parks her car close to the dorm rooms but doesn't make a move to get out. She sits in her car as if waiting for something but she doesn't know what. She needs to talk to someone but she doesn't know who. She can't call Jesse. He'd already tried to contact her several times and was only met with silence. Plus, he didn't even know she had a daughter. She can't call any of the Bella's. They didn't know about her daughter either and frankly she didn't want to tell them. She couldn't call her father. There was no way she's speaking to him. So, she picked up her phone and dialed the only number she could think of.
"Sheila?" Beca's voice wavers, dangerously close to tears. Sheila and she had never been close but she didn't know anyone else who would understand. She needed someone and Sheila knew about the pregnancy and everything. She had even been on Beca's side about keeping her daughter.
"Beca, sweetheart," Her stepmom asks questioningly. "What's the matter?"
With that, the floodgates broke, tears streaming down Beca's face and sobs wracking her body. She explained everything from getting the call at Bella's practice to racing back to her apartment and forgetting her backpack to talking to the social worker to her daughter. She goes on for a solid half an hour about Anna. Explaining the abuse and the custody and the picture and how perfect she was. Beca even confided in her about her intent to adopt the little girl. And, much to Beca's gratitude, Sheila understands.
"Let it out, sweetheart, I know," Sheila cooed. After Beca had told her everything she had broken down, unable to speak. "Your father has a class until midnight so why don't you come over and we can talk for while?"
Beca agreed without reluctance and was soon on her way to her parents' house. After years of resenting her stepmom, Beca had finally come to an understanding and she was more thankful for that than ever.
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The Bella's had waited for twenty minutes before they realized Beca was gone. They tried to call her and text her, but the tiny brunette hadn't answered anything. It was as if she disappeared.
"What has gotten into her?" Aubrey fumes. She paces back and forth in front of the chalkboard while the rest of the Bella's just watch her, nervously hoping the rage doesn't turn on them. And also silently praying that Aubrey doesn't blow chunks.
"Maybe Hobbit's in trouble?" Amy suggests warily, not wanting to get in the way of Aubrey's wrath.
"No, this is probably one of her stupid stunts just to get on my nerves. When is she going to grow up?"
"Aubrey, I honestly doubt that. She-"Chloe is cut off by Cynthia Rose who bursts through the doors into the practice room, panting. She lifts her hand to silence everyone, still bent over, trying to steady her breathing.
"I went- to her dorm- but she wasn't there- so I- was looking- around- and I- found her in the parking lot- crying- I was going- to talk to her- but she drove off." She explains between deep breaths. "So I ran- all the way- back here."
"Crying?" Aubrey asks, feeling guilty for accusing the small DJ. She runs her hand through her blonde curls, suddenly nervous and impatient for an answer after a few seconds of waiting.
"Sobbing," Cynthia Rose corrects her, her breath steadying. "She was absolutely hysterical."
"Oh god," Amy mumbles. "What has Shawshank gotten herself into this time?"
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Jesse furiously punched in Beca's number for the third time in the last hour. She hadn't answered his texts, his calls, or his voicemails. They had a dinner date which she hadn't shown up for and she hadn't been at her apartment. When he asked Kimmy Jin she just stared at him before turning back to tend to her bonsai tree.
"Beca, seriously," Jesse huffs in exasperation. "First you ditch me at Luigi's and now you won't even return my calls? I don't know what I did, or if I did anything but I'm starting to get worried. Please call me back."
He hangs up and for a minute stares down at his phone, contemplating what to do next. Should he call again? Maybe she's back at her dorm by now. But what if she's not? Could he leave a message with Kimmy Jin? Would she even listen to him? Maybe he could call Beca's father. Although, he never seemed to know where Beca is either so that wouldn't be any help. He could call one of the Bella's but their rehearsal had ended an hour ago. After thinking a while and coming up blank, Jesse throws his phone across the room so it lands on Benji's bed.
"Girl problems," Benji nods in understanding. He picks up Jesse's phone from beside his feet tosses it back over to his roommate before returning to his comics.
"Yeah," Jesse replies in agreement, resting his head in his hands.
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Sheila held Beca tightly, letting the small woman cry until there were no tears left. And after that they just sat together in silence with Sheila rubbing Beca's back in a comforting motion. They hadn't spoken a word to each other since the phone call. Beca had shown up at the doorstep and as soon as she had seen her stepmother, she had fallen into her arms. The same way she had when she found out she was pregnant.
Sheila was the only one who Beca would talk to about it, seeing as her step mom had had Michael, Beca's step brother, at sixteen as well. Michael was fifteen years older than Beca and was married with two kids of his own when Beca had fallen pregnant. After they had taken Anna away, Beca had become so hysterical that she had to be sedated. Michael and Sheila had been the only ones able to calm her down and even after that, Beca had cried silently, not speaking for an entire month. Her first words since the birth were to her father when he asked how school was going, to which she replied 'Fuck you.'
"I need to get her back, Sheila," Beca sobbed. "I need her back."
"I know, sweetheart," Sheila assures her gently. "I know."
Beca slowly calms down with coaxing from Sheila and eventually is able to have a comprehendible conversation with her step mother without falling apart.
"Can I see the picture, darling?" Sheila asks after sitting in silence for a while. She's been focusing on comforting the small women but Sheila is more than a little curious about Anna. Beca carefully removes the folded piece of paper from her jacket pocket and hands it to her stepmother.
"Oh my goodness," Sheila breathes in awe. "She looks just like you… she's beautiful."
"I know," Beca smiles with a small sniffle.
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Beca carefully unlocks the door to her dorm room, encouraged by the silence on the other side of the door. The first thing she notices as she steps in is the glow of the TV against the dim lighting in the room. As usual Kimmy Jin has a couple of her friends from the Korean Student Association; Beca doesn't know why she's surprised.
"Let's move to another room," Her roommate suggests in the same monotone voice as always. She stares at Beca with annoyance as if she should feel bad for coming into her own dorm.
"So fucking sorry for interrupting your little Asian parade," Beca snaps, her voice weak from crying and if they hadn't already noticed, Beca's made it obvious. "I didn't realize that I wasn't allowed into my own room! I'll leave and you can get back to your game of Mario Cart or whatever the fuck you're playing."
Beca turns on her heels and heads back down the hallway, leaving even Kimmy Jin stunned. For the longest time Kimmy Jin had only thought of her roommate as a one dimensional girl who bottled up her emotions and spent all day on her laptop. This was a whole new side Kimmy Jin- and the general public for that matter- had never seen.
"I think you guys should leave," Kimmy Jin states simply, following in Beca's tracks to the doorway. Ignoring her friend's protests, she spots Beca down the hall on her right. "Hey, white girl!"
Beca stops in her tracks, looking over her shoulder at Kimmy Jin. In the bright light, Kimmy Jin can make out her roommates face. She can see the red swollen eyes, the blotchy, tear streaked face, the way her hands are trembling slightly, and how her eyes are silently filling with tears. "Yes, Kimmy Jin?" Beca asks, her voice taking on a slight sense of defeat.
"You should come back to the room," The asian girl states simply, idly shifting from one foot to the other. Beca nods silently and follows her roommate back into their dorm.
"Your boyfriend came over this afternoon but I didn't know where you were,
Kimmy Jin informs Beca as the smaller girl takes a seat on her bed. "You want to tell me where you were, shorty?" her voice taking on a more playful tone.
"Youre only like two inches taller than me," A smile small flickering across Beca's lips as she crawls into bed, not bothering to change. Kimmy Jin would have usually scowled at her uncleanliness but she could tell the white girl had had a bad day, so she refrained. Beca didn't answer her question and she didn't push any farther. The girls eyelids were already drooping and her sniffles were dieing out. The piece of paper held to her chest was loosening with each breath. Slowly the paper flutters to floor, opening to face Kimmy Jin. She doesn't mean to look, she really doesn't, but as she leans down to retrieve the document, a tiny angelic face catches her eyes. Its just second but its enough to leave an impression. She doesn't know who this girl is, but theres too much resemblance to Beca for it to be a coincidence. The paper is nervously placed on top of Beca's sheets and within minutes Kimmy Jin is in her own bed.