Chapter 1: An Idea

It was lonely, being alone. As redundant a statement as it was, Kaoru felt it described his feelings rather accurately.

Well, if you wanted to be technical, he wasn't "alone", in that other human beings were not physically present, because they were. An abundance of them, if he bothered to look, or even if he didn't, depending on where he was. At school, the hoards of squealing girls were evident whether he wanted to notice them or not. Elsewhere, he was probably in the company of a handful of friends more often than he wasn't, engaging in some sort of lunacy. If not that, he was guaranteed at least one other, identical looking person for companionship.

Or at least, that's how it had been, up until recently.

And it wasn't as if Hikaru was not physically present, because he was. They spent time together, but it wasn't the same. Or it wasn't for him, at any rate. It seemed that his lovable dimwit of a brother had yet to realize that anything had changed, although that was the way Kaoru preferred it. For his brother to feel the same heartache as he was feeling, was something he wished to delay as much as possible.

Still...

He had to admit to himself that sometimes, deep down, he wished Hikaru would notice. Maybe not realize the entire situation just yet, but notice... something. How could it be that despite being together their entire lives, his brother was completely oblivious? You would think that with how close they were, he would at least have an idea, a feeling, any sense of the fact that something was bothering him. But no.

Such thoughts were shoved as quickly as he could manage to the back of his head whenever they reared their ugly heads. He was just being selfish. Hikaru's happiness was what was truly important. And she would take care of him...

That was another thing. "She". Haruhi Fujioka.

At one time, Kaoru would've said he loved her. That was still true, just not in quite the same way. Since he'd given up on her himself to give his twin a fighting chance, as time went on, the more any and all romantic stirs began to fade away, to be replaced by something less hot and passionate, to something more warm and affectionate. It was nothing more than a lingering crush at this point, if anything. She was far too much like a sister to him now.

Truth be told, for all Haruhi's many wonderful and redeeming qualities, he felt a little bit mean saying that there was probably only one real reason that he had liked her so much. She was the first person not afraid to step into their world. To get to know them for who they really were. It was because she had been different.

But Hikaru had always needed that kind of thing more than he had. She was good for him. From afar, he'd watch them talk and laugh. Every once in awhile he'd join in, of course, but he liked to give them a good deal of space. They'd never get anywhere if they didn't get any privacy, after all, and it was probably going to take those two big dummies long enough to figure out their own feelings as it was. His heart was going to hurt for awhile... for her... for his brother. But he would survive somehow.

… Although.

Determined as he was to never let his own emotions get the best of him, a little fun shouldn't hurt anything. One thing he missed about spending time with Hikaru was all the jokes they used to make and the pranks they used to pull. Unlike his twin though, who was usually the ringleader in these things, he wasn't quite such a sadist. Just a mischievous, brotherly poke in the ribs would do just fine. The big dummy deserved it anyway. A wry smirk formed on his handsome face as he pondered the best way to irk his brother just enough.

The answer was obvious, of course. A taste of his own medicine. A cookie of his own dough. Not so much so as to actually hurt Hikaru, not at all, just bug him. Show him what it feels like to be a little bit jealous. The first few times, he disregarded the idea because the thought of schmoozing up one of the ladies just didn't appeal to him. They were all lovely girls, he was sure, special in their own way and all that, but really, besides Haruhi, he'd never felt much toward them. And he'd felt that way about Haruhi because she was really special. The more he thought about it, the surer he became that that was just a one-time thing. Never before had he been much of a ladies man, outside of the facade he put on at the club, and he wasn't one now. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with them necessarily... maybe he just didn't like them. The realization didn't bother Kaoru as much as he thought it probably ought to- maybe because it wasn't really that much of a realization. He figured that even if he never really bothered to acknowledge it, he kind of always knew.

He could pretend, sure, but his days of leading ladies on only to then tell them it was all a lie were over. Shallow though the girls in question may have been, looking back, that was unnecessarily cruel.

It wasn't until he'd been toying with the idea for awhile that he finally put two and two together. Everyone thought, or at least wouldn't be surprised, that he was gay on account of the act the twins put on constantly. He didn't have to use a lady to make Hikaru jealous.

The question was, which not-a-lady to choose?

Some random male student wouldn't have much impact. Heck, Hikaru might not even notice. It had to be someone they were always around, someone with whom it'd be right their in his brother's face. The solution came to him immediately this time: A fellow club member.

That gave him four options. Haruhi was out because not only was she a lady, Kaoru wouldn't do that to his brother even in jest.

Honey-senpai was... cute. Anyone with eyes could see that. Maybe not his type exactly, but undeniably adorable. Plus, cake. He wondered if maybe he could just tell him what was up and he'd go along with it. But then again, he had a feeling that Mori-senpai might have some objections- even if he, too, was in the joke. Those two were joined at the hip just as he and his brother used to be, after all.

And Mori-senpai? … No. Just no. He was a handsome guy, but Kaoru was quite sure it would never work whether he was informed of his plans or otherwise. He rather suspected that again, he was just too attached to Honey-senpai to date or even fake-date anyone. The fact that both parties could inflict grievous bodily harm on his person if went to far was also a big factor in ruling them both out.

Kyoya-senpai was a no-nonsense person, unless of course said nonsense could make him some money. He highly doubted that the black-haired boy would even consider it. He'd no time for such silly games, especially not in addition to all the silly games that went on in the host club on a regular basis.

That left...

He almost vetoed the idea just on principal. Like, seriously? Ha, no way! He wouldn't even have given the notion a second thought... if one thing hadn't made him pause. Not only did it make him stop to think, it sealed the deal outright. And that thing was this thought:

… Hikaru would have a cow!

With that thought in mind, and an enormous grin on his face, it was not long before he put his plan into action. One seemingly ordinary day at the host club, with no warning, he sauntered across the room and gingerly laid a hand on the shoulder of the tall, blonde person standing with his back to him.

"Hey boss~"

Velcome, velcome, so very good to see you! Come inside, have a biscuit! Ah, another strange pairing idea, yes? I'm fond of those. Hopefully some of you are, too. How will the president of the host club react to a sudden onslaught of affection from the last person he ever expected? If nothing else, stick around because hey, free biscuits. We shall get the actual story rolling next chapter- see you soon!

- YummyYaoiSandwiches