Mad Hatter Monologue

Would you believe me if I told you I was innocent? If I said I didn't do it? Of you wouldn't. No-one has, no-one does, and no-one will. I'm going to lose my head for something I had nothing to do with. Though I know it's futile, I'll beg of you anyways: please believe me. I know you won't, but I'll implore you anyways. I'm innocent. I didn't do it. I didn't kill Alice.

It's not that I don't understand why I was blamed. I was, supposedly, the last person to see her alive. I poured her a cup of tea, Duzelberry, if I remember correctly. It was her favorite flavor… But, back to the matter at hand.

Mallymkun and Thackery were crawling around on the ground looking for Thackery's missing spoon – the poor Hare loves that piece of cutlery so dearly. I poured Alice's tea, then waited before getting my own. Alice had the lovliest way of sipping tea, you see. One couldn't help but watch.

I was soon watching in horror, though, as Alice froze and turned very pale. The teacup shattered as she dropped it to the table.

'Alice?' I reached a hand tentatively out to her. 'Alice, are you alright?'

She seemed to be having an extremely difficult time drawing breath. Her entire body shook and convulsed uncontrollably. She spluttered and gasped, eyes blinking rapidly. Her eyes, those beautiful turquoise eyes, so often filled with wonder and curiousity, were now filled only with fear and pain.

It didn't matter that Mally and Thackery were absorbed in their spoon search. Thack, dear mad little hare that he is, would only suggest pouring tea on her as a cure. Mally, the rough-and-rumble dormouse who's a real softie at heart, wouldn't have known what to do anymore than I did.

I could do nothing but watch as Alice's life was brutally wrenched from her. Of course, I didn't know that then. I only realized it when she took a sudden, rasping, gasp then slumped over on the tea table.

'Alice?' My voice was nothing more than a choked whisper. I reached out a trembling hand and shook her gently by the shoulder. 'Alice? Alice?' As my voice grew in strength and intensity, so did the shaking.

I could feel the colors of my eyes swirling, mixing, fighting. That's the trouble with my eyes, they seem to take great delight in portraying my emotions. Occasionaly, they are a mix of colors. Never before, though, had they been such a mish-mosh of color.

There was, of course, the deep blue of sadness and grief that Alice was gone. It was contended for dominacy by angry-red and the purple of regret. Those two showed themselves because I had done nothing to help Alice, only sat there. There were a few other emotions, as well, that I don't even know what they were.

And then, of course, there was the Madness. The bright orange of utter insanity. Madness generally reared its head only when I was feeling a particularly strong emotion or massive mix of emotions.

At this point, Mallymkun and Thackery were peering fearfully over the edge of the table at me, obviously terrified. Usually, it was Thackery who threw and destroyed the china and cutlery, but he had no hand in the torrent of teasets and storm of silverware that followed. The Madness won out the battle and made an awful mess of the tea tables.

I can imagine the sight that must have greeted Mirana and her court(who were coming for tea that day): Tea-things smashed, shattered, and scattered all over the tables; Thackery and Mallymkun taking cover beneath a chair; me with bright orange eyes and shouting things in Outlandish; Alice slumped dead over the table.

'Tarrant… What have you done?' The White Queen's voice was breathy and laden with disappointment and disbelief.

What had I done? What had I done? I never remember what happens when the Madness takes over. It's like I black out, then wake up to a huge mess the Madness made for me.

I could feel the bright orange still fading from my eyes. I stammered an incoherent answer, but I could tell everyone already had decided what had happened. Mallymkun and Thackery were cowering behind Mirana's flowing white dress. They were all looking at me with real terror in their eyes.

They all thought they were looking at a killer.

That was the first time I claimed I didn't do it. Nobody believed me then either. I understand that it seemed like an excruciatingly simple, open-and-shut case. The Hatter went mad, tore apart the tea party, and killed Alice.

That wasn't the case, but they saw no reason to believe anything else.

'Tarrant, it truly pains me to do this, and I can't believe I have to, but-' Soon, the queen had two court members dragging me away, while two others tended to Alice's body.

As they pulled me past the queen, I pleaded once more. 'Your majesty, please belive me. I didn't do it. I didn't!'

Mirana just shook her head sadly. 'Tarrant, I- I don't know what to say.' I could see tears filling her eyes, threatening to spill over. I must admit, I almost felt like crying, as well. Alice was gone, and everyone though I was her murderer.

I was led back to Marmoreal, the White Queen's estate, and thrown in a dungeon cell. No one had been executed since Iracebeth, the Red Queen, had been banished. I am to be the first.

Mirana came down to the dungeon and spoke to me, a tear trickling down her face. 'Alice's funeral will be held tomorrow.'

I clung to the prison bars so tightly my knuckles were even paler than their usual white. 'Please, let me attend, Mirana, your majesty. I have to say good-bye.'

'You should have thought of that before you took her life.'

I felt physically ill. Had I really killed Alice? No, no, I couldn't have. I distinctly remember her being dead before the Madness took over. That had been what had brought out the Madness in the first place.

I must have looked rather like a lost puppy, as Mirana softened a little. 'I'm sorry, Tarrant, but the law is the law. It applies to we lunatics, as well. As queen, I had no choice but to uphold the law and order your execution. It shall take place at dawn in three days time.' With that, she left, and I was left alone.

That was three days ago.

Now I sit here both dreading, and longing for, the dawn. I dread it because it means the end. The end of what? The end of everything. For me, at least, as I'll be dead.

The odd thing is, I'm longing for it for the same reason.

When I die, I can be with Alice.

I cannot stress this enough: I did not kill Alice. No matter what it may look like happened, no matter what you may think- I didn't. I couldn't possibly have. There is no way I could have ever brought myself to life a finger against Alice.

Ever since she first came here, all those years ago, I've known that I could never do anything to hurt her, ever. I'd never quite figured out why, unfortunately. All the same, that truth lurked in the back of my lost mind, influencing my every action.

Now, though, watching the gold-orange of the sun bleed onto Underland, I think I realize why. Perhaps the Madness knew it, that would explain why I never did.

There is one very strong piece of evidence as to why it would have been impossible for me to have killed Alice: I loved her.

I loved the way she sipped tea. I loved the way her hair fell in soft golden ringlets. I loved her quizzical, turquoise eyes. Most of all, I loved the thing that made her so very… Alice.

She was herself, and no-one else. She did what her heart told her to, with no fear of what others would think. She had an inane desire to know and wonder about everything she possibly could.

In each and every way, she was absolutely perfect. Even I, the Mad Hatter, Underland's resident lunatic, could see that.

As two soldiers escort me from my cell to Execution Square, it crosses my mind that I could easily escape. As they say, a mad-man has the strength of ten.

But, no, that would never do. That would only seal my fate. After all, only a guilty man would run. Right? And then I would have to spend the rest of my life hiding from the White Queen and her court. I have decided I must face my sentence with pride and dignity.

Or, at least, as much as is possible, seeing as the soldiers have stolen my hat.

As they lead my into the square, I see the White Queen standing up in the "royal box." She is wearing a midnight black dress, and pressing a matching handkerchief underneath her eyes to catch the tears. Rather uncharacteristic. The White Queen wearing a black dress of mourning.

It appears I was not the only one who loved Alice.

After being forced to my knees in front of the chopping block, I hear Mirana's wavering voice come out from behind the handkerchief. 'Has the… accused any last words?'

I nod. 'Mirana, your majesty, I swear I didn't do it. I wish there was some way I could prove it.' Then, a sudden thought comes upon me. A pressing question that desperately needs an answer. 'Have I made a rhyme?'

I watch Mirana shake her head sadly, covering her eyes with her handkerchief. I lower my head over the stone execution block.

The executioner adjusts his black hood then raises the large, black-handled ax. Mirana turns away. I know there is now absolutely nothing I can do. I am going to die. As the executioner brings down the dreaded, glinting blade, with surprising force and speed, I at last make a rhyme in the final thought that runs through my head:

Alice, I loved you yesterday

I love you still

Always have

Always will