Beautiful Disaster Chapter 1: He Drowns in His Dreams, a tin man fanfic

Chapter 1—He Drowns in His Dreams

He didn't know she was there, standing over his bed, watching him toss in his sleep. DG stood, watching his face as he battled whatever foes plagued his dreams, and fought herself over whether she should wake him. Cain grunted, a sure sign that the dream was deepening and intensifying, and DG put a thin hand against her forehead in exasperation. He was going to start getting more vocal soon, and she didn't want to hear Adora's name on his lips, followed by her own in that terrified tone of voice like he had several nights in a row that week. The princess tucked her thick raven hair behind her ear and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

Cain didn't waken, but his tossing stilled. She had been startled the first night when she had heard him and came to awaken him from those terrible dreams. Rather than wakening him, her touch had allowed some of her light to pass into him, chasing away the phantoms of his sleep. She had sought out his comfort that first night because of her own dreams, only to find him dealing with his own. Now, it had almost become a ritual. Every night, she did the same thing…she would wait for a while after he dropped her off at her door and then slip out and down the corridor to make sure that his sleep was peaceful.

She stood there for a little while, puzzled by the way their relationship had inexplicably changed. Or at least, how her role in their relationship had changed…and without his knowledge. He still was her protector, the one who stood by her to see her through her tough times. Her mother had seen to it that the job was given to him permanently, and no one refuses the Queen of the Outer Zone, least of all a washed-up ex-Tin Man who desperately needed a job, anyway. DG, however, had found herself protecting him more often than the other way around. She protected him from himself, protected his heart from being forced open too soon, and protected his sleep from the images he had been forced to watch for eight annuals.

And now, just scant months after the Eclipse, she knew that she was in serious danger of getting herself hurt over him. She wanted so much just to see him smile, to save him from the terrors of his past. Her heart ached for him, and she knew that she was treading on dangerous ground. She could easily lose herself in those baby blue eyes and that cute crooked smile. Her world would come crashing around her ears if ever he left her.

She stopped herself from stroking his cheek. Forcibly, she reminded herself that she was his charge. Not only that, but she was half his age, and the Heir Apparent to the Realms. Don't borrow trouble. She remembered those words that her mom, at least the one she had known growing up on the Other Side, had told her often in matters of the heart. There was no future for any relationship that they might have. Her mother's marriage had been exception enough to normal royal precedents. Ahamo hadn't been twice Lavender's age, and he had been a Slipper, which gave him much more social standing than a Tin Man. This was the way it always had to be.

DG knew that she needed to leave, but she couldn't tear her eyes from his face. A peaceful look had settled over his features, softening the set of his jaw and the edge of his cheeks. She realized then that he didn't look like he was pushing 42 years—annuals—whatever! He looked younger, if that was even possible. When he was awake, he seemed older, his eyes haunted and his face drawn. She imagined that was what eight constant years—annuals of torture would do to a person. He was damaged and broken, and she couldn't help but feel like she should try to help him heal.

She had to be very careful…she was still just a kid to him, and he made reference to the term often, not knowing that it drove a dagger through her heart every time. DG found herself fighting the urge to wrap him in an embrace each morning when she emerged from her rooms to find him waiting for her. She knew that love was what he needed now, but she also knew that he was going to resist it.

The younger princess had found herself drawn inexorably to this broken shell of a man, wanting to make him better, wanting to see him bloom under her care just like the tree in the Fields of the Papay. It was a connection that she couldn't avoid, as if something in her magic had locked on to him when she'd freed him from the witch's prison. She had felt it growing since the Eclipse, strengthening. She probed that connection, using techniques that Tutor had been attempting to teach her, and felt something like a strong rope or light chain between them, linking their hearts. She took a step back when she found it anchored to him, seeing it caught tightly in his fist in her mind.

In that moment, she knew that there was more than just a job between them. It was something that to which they were both clinging. She felt again, opening her eyes to hidden things, and again the picture of his hand came to her mind, the knuckles clasped so tightly around that connection that they were turning white. He needed her…for what she didn't know, but he needed her, and he didn't know how badly she needed him.

Finally, she stopped fighting the urge to reach out for him and lightly brushed her fingertips along his cheekbone. If only… She stopped, quickly withdrawing her hand, and quickly turned on her heel, leaving the sleeping Tin Man, whose dreams were now peacefully quiet.

Author's Notes: Ok, so I can't resist the angst muse. I've discovered that I really don't want to. This little piece is based on the song "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson (the version on Breakaway), lyrics as following. I'm considering making it a multi-chapter piece…if the muse is fed enough, I will. In other words…if you want to see if they actually get together in this one, and if you want to know how that magical connection between the princess and the Tin Man got there…REVIEW! ;-)

Disclaimer for entire piece: I own a laptop, a '95 Nissan Maxima, and the clothes I wear. Sadly, that list does not include the rights to either Tin Man or "Beautiful Disaster." I receive no compensation, monetary or otherwise, other than the reviews posted. I just like playing with other peoples' toys.

He drowns in his dreams, an exquisite extreme, I know
He's as damned as he seems and more heaven than a heart could hold
If I tried to save him, my whole world could cave in
It just ain't right, it just ain't right

Oh and I don't know, I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster?

His magic and myth, as strong as what I believe
My tragedy with more damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him, so hard not to blame him
Hold me tight, baby hold me tight

Oh and I don't know, I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy, hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of a miracle
Waited so long, I've waited so long

He's soft to the touch, but frayed at the end, he breaks
He's never enough and still he's more than I can take

He's beautiful…such a beautiful disaster