Chapter # 1- May
Prologue
Nothing ever seemed to go my way. In someway it felt as if everyone was against me. And now I was here. In the years that were suppose to be the best years of my life, they now became the last months of my life. I didn't ask to get cancer, I didn't ask for the treatment to fail, I didn't ask for five months, I was just handed all these things. I don't know somewhere along the line I gave up, gave in, lost hope. It's hard and it's crazy. And every tear I've shed over it has been pointless. Being fourteen I will never see my wedding, high school graduation, or any other mile stones in life that average people take for granted. I won't even see another school year most likely. It's May, the end of eighth grade. And time seems to be against me right now, and I can't change that…ever.
The circle that we live on has twenty-four houses on it. In those twenty-four houses there are my two best friend's houses. They're Karen and Chelsey. We'd met long before I had gotten cancer. Actually we'd known each other basically our whole lives. We'd been there for each other through the good, and also the bad. Karen's mom died when we were all twelve. Her mom was a beautiful person, and had so much to give to the world, but with every perfection there were flaws. She drank a lot and she was a little screwed up in the end. She stopped caring and Karen's parents would fight all the time. I don't know how many phone calls I got from Karen near the end, begging me to let her come over; but there were a lot. Then one night there was a big crash and her mom didn't come home. The judge announced at court that Karen's mother had been drunk and the lawsuit made by one of the victim's family made a big dent in Karen's father's wallet. We didn't talk about Karen's mom. Karen didn't like too. And Karen wasn't anything like her mom. Karen had life, Karen was happy, and Karen was scared. Karen's dad didn't know how to raise a teenage daughter. He didn't know that it took hours of shopping to find clothes. Her father was lost, and didn't know where to turn. Chelsey's and my mother stepped in here. They took us all shopping, and did girl things with us, but it couldn't replace a real mom. Karen was a beautiful brunet with green eyes. She had a thin figure, and she surfed. The beach was only a mile from our circle. The beach was right on the Rhode Island coast. Karen escaped there, she ran from her fears, and she escaped life for a few hours. A place where she could scream and not be heard. It was a place where she didn't have to go to councilors, where she didn't have to talk while the guy wrote. She didn't have to feel completely insane.
Chelsey on the other hand had six siblings, and a very hectic life. She played softball, soccer, field hockey, and lacrosse. She didn't really surf, but knew how. Chelsey always said that having siblings was awful. She was right in the middle of them too. She had three older, three younger. She only had her own room because she was the only girl. Basically my house was her second home though. Karen and Chelsey were like my unofficial stepsisters. Chelsey was blonde and had blue eyes. She like us all had a slender figure. To me she looked like an angel, if she just had wings and maybe a halo.
Yeah our weekends together used to be full of sleepovers, and games of baseball with the boys on the circle. But that all changed when I got cancer when I was thirteen. We all broke down and cried together when we found out. We couldn't believe it was happening to us, and I couldn't believe it was happening to me. Life drastically changed. I stopped going to school, and started to live at the hospital. I couldn't go out and play. We couldn't go shopping, go to the movies, and go to the school dances. Instead we three way called every night. Sometimes we were on the phone from eight to three in the morning. They visited, and stayed longer then they were suppose to, but no one had the heart to make them leave. How could they, because everything was failing.
The chemo wasn't working, and the cancer just got worse, and worse, and worse. Then one day we got the news. Five months, after more than a year in the hospital. There was nothing they could do. They had made me sick with medicine, weak with chemo, and even given me blood, but none of it mattered, because they had given up. They had made the choice that it was over. They chose to do this to me, and I blamed them. Each and every one of them. They didn't know what it was like to know the end. They hadn't felt eyes staring at them. Just staring at them. Knowing that that person was thinking oh God, that girl's really going to die. And I'm sure there are those miracles out there. You know somewhere someone lives through this. But that wasn't my story. As much as I wanted it to be my story, it wasn't.
But the true story starts in May. The flowers just were just coming up, and the leaves just budding the trees. The air was warming, and the sun just soaked into your skin. The grass was turning from brown to green, and the sky was so blue. I hadn't seen a May outside of the hospital for over one year. And it was my last May forever, and I didn't plan to miss it for the world.
Author Note:
Please please please Review!
I promise to post some more to this as I go along. I need to fix some things...it's been a while since I wrote this, but I really hope you guys like it!
Thanks