Shards
There is a certain type of person who emits a pure, charismatic light that others are drawn to, Naruto was like that. In those early years, when we would lie curled up together after lovemaking, the sweaty sheets tangled around our thin naked frames like a mother's womb, he seemed to be the only tangible thing in the room. Golden hair, much too soft and fine to real, a sun-kissed chest that would rise and fall continuously, breathing that sounded like the ocean's waves upon a beach. It was at those times when I felt most alive.
I don't know exactly when your light started dulling, or maybe it never did, maybe it was me. I guess we'll never know now right? Somewhere in that blissful period, something changed, a piece of our relationship broke off and was lost. I started seeing less and less of you, I insulted you constantly, provoked you, found excuses not to come home. I told myself it was for the best, I was supposed to revive my clan, and no matter how much love we shared, that was impossible between us. Yet you still held on to me, you greeted me at the door when I came home, hugged me even though I wouldn't respond, and still cried my name when you came during sex, which had turned much rougher and more desperate on my part.
Why did you have to love me so much? You could have saved yourself so much heartbreak… yet I suppose it was my fault, after all, I was the stupid one who let that woman, that whore into my bed. Now when I think about it, I don't know what started the affair in the first place. Everything was so fast and blurred, filled with drunken decisions and empty pleasure. Before I knew it, we were in bed, and you walked in on us, completely oblivious to what had been going on before you came up.
That look of shock, mingled with disbelief and pain, that covered your face, numbed me completely at that moment. It hurt me even more when it faded to disappointment, almost as though you had unconsciously been suspecting something like this had been going on.
Silently, without saying anything, you just closed the bedroom door with a quiet click and walked away. After a few awkward minutes of listening to the sound of your footsteps fade, Karin gathered her clothes and dressed, mumbling something apologetic on the way out. I stayed in bed, completely frozen; it was like being stabbed, my mind went completely blank. All I could think was that Naruto had found out.
He wouldn't leave me, would he? I shook my head, to clear myself of such thoughts, no, no way would Naruto leave. He was my kitsune, my dobe, all mine! He would certainly forgive me, he always had.
Slowly, still in a state of mild shock, I dressed myself and made my way downstairs. I looked around the house, not daring to call your name, you were no where to be found. So I went around my usual business, assuming you would come back to me. It wasn't until the next day that I found that you had taken your belongings sometime in the night. When I checked with the Hokage, she told me that you had moved back to your old apartment.
Immediately I went there, I had no idea what to say, or how to start apologizing. You weren't there then, nor the next day, or the next after that. A couple days later Neji mentioned at headquarters that you had applied for and gone on some long-term mission in Suna for the next six-months. There was not a day during that period were I did not think about you, nor not feel guilty about hurting you so badly.
It was during that time period that Karin and I married, it was a sloppy event, pulled together hastily without much planning. It was also then when we divorced. Afterwards I was left with a minor scandal, no heir to the Uchiha clan, and a whole lot of heartbreak. A little while after the divorce I truly realized that I loved you, your smiling face, your warm hugs and affectionate insults, but it was too late. All I could do was wait, and wait I did.
And then, when you returned to Konoha, my heart leapt at the prospect of seeing your face again. I swore to myself that I would resolve this matter, I would first apologize, and then I would confess my love, you would take me back, and everything would go back to normal. It was the perfect plan and I couldn't wait to put it into motion.
Then I saw him, the Kazekage, Gaara no Subaku, Jinchuuriki of the demon Shukaku. You two were standing together, too close for my comfort. You were laughing, all sunshine and warmth, but something was different, this time it was not directed at me. At that moment all I wanted to do was rip that smirk off that bastard Gaara's face. I could practically feel the jealousy rise to my throat like bile. You were my love, my sun! You did not belong to someone like him, you were mine!
Well he doesn't really belong to you anymore; you betrayed him, you chose the slut instead, hissed an unpleasant voice, somewhat similar to that pedophile Orochimaru's.
I told the voice to shut up, and with my head filled with rage I stormed away from the streets of Konoha and made my way to the Forest of Death instead. After taking my anger out on a couple of helpless trees in I returned home, exhausted from the vigorous training. A nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me of the vow I had made to myself earlier. So, after a quick shower and an attempt to plan on what to say, I made my way to your apartment, with hopes to talk to you and bring you back.
I very nearly turned around and went right home after I rung the doorbell, I could hear laughter on the other side of the door, and I had a guess on whose. However, you answered immediately, and I had no choice but to see my "plan" through.
You were even more beautiful up close, and I noticed subtle changes I had not seen from far away. Your hair was longer, some was pulled back into a small ponytail in the back. You had become more slender and delicate looking, though you were still much shorter that I. Also, something had changed in your eyes, they were less wide and innocent, and had a sad wisdom that made my heart ache for some strange reason. You were wearing casual clothes, a plain black t-shirt and a pair of caramel-colored cargo pants, and your headband was tied like normal about your forehead. However, as soon as you opened the door and looked upon me your carefree manner faded and instead you gazed at me with a cold expression filled with dislike and something akin to faded sadness.
"What the hell do you want?" you asked and I flinched at the steely tone in your voice.
"Um, I was wondering if we could talk… together?" I spoke hesitantly, your anger unsettled me, and I was beginning to have second thoughts about my plan.
"Speak then," your eyes narrowed and you stared at me, unmoving. The hallway suddenly felt about 10 degrees cooler.
"I was hoping we could take a walk together, if you don't mind?" I prayed you would say yes, I so wanted to speak to you alone.
You considered it, and for a moment a thought you might refuse, but it passed. Grabbing a black hooded sweatshirt with a red spiral emblazoned on it, and slipping on some black shinobi sandals you made your way out of the door.
"I'll be back in a little bit, you can start eating if you want," you called inside. I was standing too far away to hear the answer, but whatever it was it made you laugh. I clutched my fists tightly, angered by this simple gesture.
"Let's be off then," you said to me, all traces of merriment gone from your face.
We made our way in silence out of the apartment complex and down to a small park nearby. You perched lightly on an old swing, pushing yourself forward and back slightly with your feet. Not daring to sit next to you, I opted to lean against the metal pole of the swing set, gazing down at you.
"So, um, whaddya wanna talk about?" you directed at me, not looking up.
"I wanted to say, well, I guess I'm sorry…" I finished lamely. Damn, that wasn't very smooth…
"Sorry? Sorry? Oh now he says he's sorry, after fucking with me for how long? Six months? Ten? Twelve? Just for how long were you cheating on me with that slut Sasuke? Was it fun, getting a two pieces of ass to fuck at the same time? I loved you you bastard, why did you just have to betray me like that?! WHY?!" you were standing up now, looking at me directly in the eyes, your whole face was flushed bright red and your breath was coming in heavily. All traces of cold indifference gone, replaced by white hot fury.
"Naruto, I-"
"You what, want me back? Well sorry Sasuke, that seat's been taken in case you didn't already realize," you laughed bitterly, confirming my worst fear.
"Why him? He's not even from Konoha; he's a monster for God's sake!" I immediately shut my mouth; Naruto's face had gone from bright red to deathly white. I mentally hit myself over the head; what the hell had made me say that?
"Well in case you've forgotten Sasuke, I'm a monster too, so tell me something I don't know," you spoke quietly, yet I could see the hurt leaking from your eyes.
"Naru-"
"The reason I'm with Gaara, Sasuke, is because he loves me for who I am, not because of the Kyuubi, but for the way I just am. You have no idea what that's like for me, that feeling of someone liking you for the type of person you are, not for what's inside of you."
You got off the swing and stood up, still looking directly at me.
"You broke me Sasuke; all I'm trying to do is pick up the pieces."
Turning around, you started once again to walk away from me, out of my life, exactly like before. And like then, I found myself unable to call after you.
"I'm sorry Naruto, I'm sorry for hurting you…" a single tear made its way down my cheek and landed on the ground without a sound, muffling my sorrow.
--
"I'm home!" Naruto called out to the apartment hallway that was normally cold and empty, however, someone actually answered this time.
"Finally, I was worried that the bastard Uchiha had kidnapped you or something," came the apathetic voice of a certain redhead, laying claim to his kitsune with a chaste kiss.
"Hey you should know by now that I can take care of myself you know!" cried the spoken fox indignantly.
"Yes, I do know, but the Uchiha didn't do anything to you did he?" asked Gaara suspiciously, wondering if he needed to kill Naruto's ex-lover.
"No he didn't, just made me a little bit sad and angry," admitted the blond, straightening the collar of Gaara's shirt absentmindedly.
"Good, I don't think the citizens of Konoha would be too pleased if I had to use my Sand Coffin on him," said tanuki, pressing his lips to the top of Naruto's head, "by the way, dinner's in the fridge, lets go heat it up and we can eat together."
"YAY, I'm starving dattebayo!" cried the blond, pulling his lover to the kitchen happily.
Standing in front of the refrigerator, Naruto embraced Gaara tightly.
"Thanks Gaara, I really love you, you know that?" he said smiling at his love.
"Aa…" grunted Gaara, understanding the multiple meaning of Naruto's thanks, and pulling him in for a passionate kiss.
Naruto smiled through the loving exchange, his heart was slowly, but surely, beginning to heal.
-Owari-
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the genius of Masashi Kishimoto-sensei is entirely responsible for that.
A/N: Ah, I made Sasuke such a baddie in this one (). I don't mind though, BECAUSE I HATE HIS 2-DEMENSIONAL GUTS!!! This story was written in the time period between 11 pm – 1 am, and I edited it as best I could, so I hope it makes sense. By the way, I'm working hard on 'This Same Sky', so please don't hurt me…
I'll be going on vacation tomorrow thru next week, so things will be a little bit delayed ;;, so I'M VERY SORRY!! I still want to make This Same Sky relatively long; if I don't finish it (which I plan on not happening!) you can all throw things at me.
Kitsune: Japanese for fox, a cute pet name for Naru-chan X3
Dobe: Sasuke's favorite nickname for Naruto, along the lines of idiot.
Tanuki: a mythical creature from Japanese folklore that's a cross between a badger and a raccoon. Is often mischievous methinks. Another kawaii nickname, except it's for Gaara !
BTW: I hope you all know what 'dattebayo' means if you claim yourself a Naruto fan, believe it!