Percy's POV
Hi I'm Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, savior of Olympus, and all that stuff. I am here today to tell you about the most humiliating day of my life (so far).
So there I was just talking to my girlfriend Annabeth when Connor and Travis Stoll come up and offer me a piece of some "Japanese candy" and then… well how about you just see it for yourself.
FLASHBACK (p.s. this is Percy's memory)
Conner: Hey Percy, what's up buddy?
Me: Hi Conner, nothing just talking to Annabeth.
Travis: cool. Hey Annabeth
Annabeth: Hi guys *sigh*
Conner: Oh don't be like that Annabeth. We just wanted to let Percy try this weird blue Japanese candy…
Me: You had me at blue *takes candy and eats it*
Travis: well then we'll just leave you two alone then.
PAUSE FLASHBACK
Now I am not sure if you noticed, but I was obviously not thinking today. I know what you're gonna say, "Percy you Kelp head" Yes, yes I know guys ok? I love blue candy it's my second weakness. Anyway continue on
FLASHBACK… again
Annabeth: So Percy I was wondering if you would like to-
I twitch
Annabeth: Percy are you ok?
I twitch again
Annabeth: Percy seriously stop tha-
I jump up and begin to sing finding my voice magnified.
Me: Lock eyes from across the room Jizz in my pants
Down my drink, while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
A whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I
I start to dance. HELP ME! This really never happens you can take my word Jizz in my pants Don't tell your friends or I'll say your a slut Now I'll go home and change
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
And now I
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
I think- WHAT DID THE STOLES DO TO THAT CANDY! Jizzed in my pants
[ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/t/the_lonely_island/jizz_in_my_ ]
I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heart broken not lookin' for love
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The check out counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked "cash or credit?"
And I
Crap… Annabeth looks at me like I am insane! It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me Jizzed in my pants To be fair you were flirting a lot Last week - I saw a film Jizzed in my pants
Oh we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I
Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
Again I think-WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME! Speeding down the street when the red lights flash Jizz in my pants I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
Need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
The next day my alarm goes off and I
Jizz in my pants
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
Jizz in my pants
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I
Jizzed in my pants
I just ate a grape and I
Jizzed in my pants
I went to
(Jizzed in my pants)
(Ok seriously you guys can we... ok)
And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me
You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity
My dad is going to kill those Stoles Cuz I Jizz in my pants Yes, I jizz in my pants
PAUSE FLASHBACK
Yes ok it was embarrassing to know that I did that in front of Annabeth, but hold on, hold on the most embarrassing part is coming up. Wait for it… wait for it… NOW!
FLASHBACK… for the third time
Conner: Did you get it Travis?
Travis: sure did Conner, and so did the whole camp
The camp walks out of the forest laughing
Me: I'm gonna kill you guys
Annabeth: lighten up Percy they were only having fun *laughs*
Me: Annabeth it's not funny
Annabeth: sorry but it is.
Whole camp laughs their butts off.
END FLASHBACK
There you see? The whole camp saw it and Annabeth thought it was funny. My life has been ruined… permanently. But any way thanks for hearing me out Zeus… Zeus? Zeus?
I turn and see Zeus rolling on the floor laughing.
I hate my life.
A/N ok so I am sorry that I put this piece of shit up but it is currently 1:39 AM and I cannot sleep because I get to see the Harry Potter premiere tomorrow. Please no rude comments. I was just bored. Thanks. :)