Day One

"Why can't I drive?"

"Because I'm driving."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"Navigate. With the map."

"Navigate? That doesn't sound like nearly as much fun as driving. I could drive you know. I have a license."

"I'm sure you paid quite a bit of money for it too. Regardless I've seen you drive and I'd rather not get pulled over."

"Are you saying I'm a bad driver? That's not very nice."

"You're a terrible driver. Don't pout. Just turn on some music."

"Can I drive later?"

"No."

Day Two

"I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"You never eat this much junk food. That's the second pack of twizzlers you've had since we left the SGC."

"It's traditional. You go on a road trip and you eat junk food."

"Really? Sam didn't mention that when she was telling me about road trips."

"Sam told you about road trips?"

"Yep. She said they were an important cultural activity."

"Cultural activity? She actually said that?"

"Well, not in those exact words, but essentially."

"Why aren't you going on a road trip with her then?"

"I wanted to go with you. I figured it would be a good bonding experience for us."

"Bonding experience."

"Oh look! Books on tape."

Day Three

"There's only one bed."

"It's all they had."

"The parking lot isn't even half full they had to have other rooms available."

"Nope. Maybe everyone is just out for the evening. I'm sure they'll be back later."

"Fine. I'm going to get some sleep."

"But we just got here."

"And?"

"You can't sleep yet. We need to figure out where we're going tomorrow."

"You don't know?"

"Am I supposed to?"

"This whole road trip was your idea."

"And?"

"You don't have a final destination in mind?"

"I'm supposed to have a final destination? I thought we just drove around for two weeks. Seemed to be the logical thing with something called a road trip. Two weeks of taking a trip on the road."

"Normally there's a plan on where to go. A place to end up."

"Well, eventually we'll end up back in Colorado Springs won't we? Daniel? I told you you couldn't go to sleep yet. Daniel?"

Day Four

"Let's eat there."

"Let's not."

"Why not? It looks quaint."

"It looks like food poisoning waiting to happen."

"Oh come on I've seen the things you've eaten off world."

"Off world doesn't have food guidelines."

"Be that way. You can eat wherever you want, but I'm going to go there."

"Vala. Vala. Vala! Wait up."

Day Five

"Food poisoning. I guess this is where I say I'm sorry?"

"Uugh."

"I got you some ginger ale. The lady at the front desk said it would be good for your stomach."

"Uugh?"

"These? Soda crackers which are also supposed to be good for your stomach."

"Uugh."

"I'll just leave you alone here then."

"Uugh."

Day Six

"Look a lake!"

"Oh a lake."

"You know you don't have to be all sarcastic with me. I said I was sorry. It's not like I meant for you to get sick. From now on we'll only eat at those horrible chain restaurants."

"No, I know you didn't mean for that to happen. I'm just still not feeling all that great."

"So you're not going to continue to be snippy?"

"I'm not being snippy."

"You are."

"I am?"

"Yes. Now pull over. I want to go look at the lake."

"It's a lake. We've seen hundreds of them."

"But we haven't seen that one."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"Wanna go for a swim?"

"No."

"Daniel it'll be fun."

"Why are you taking off your shirt?"

"I can't very well go swimming in my clothes now can I?"

"So put on a bathing suit."

"I don't have one. Now are you coming or not?"

"Not."

"Your loss then."

Day Seven

"Don't look at me like that. I didn't make you get into the lake. And how was I supposed to know the sheriff would come by and be such a prude. You really can't blame me for this one."

"We're just lucky Jack posted bail for us."

"Why'd you call him anyways? Why not Mitchell or Sam?"

"Jack's more likely to only mention this when it'll be really embarrassing instead of at every opportunity."

"Why in the world would this be embarrassing?"

"We were arrested for public indecency."

"We were swimming. Without any clothing on admittedly, but we were just swimming."

"Thus the indecency part."

"Have I ever told you how weird your planet is?"

"It's your planet too these days."

Day Eight

"Why are we stopping?"

"Fruit stand. I'm sick of twizzlers."

"I should hope so as you've been eating them none stop since we left. What's a fruit stand?"

"It's a stand that sells fruit. Ow."

"I figured out that part. I meant why is it sitting out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Local farmers will sell their products by the side of the road. They must get enough traffic to make it worthwhile."

"Think there'll be any pineapple? I like pineapple."

"Considering we're currently in Missouri I doubt it."

"Not native to this part of the world?"

"No."

Day Nine

"Oh look, only one bed. Again."

"It was all they had left."

"It's amazing how when I get the rooms they always have at least a double and when you get the rooms there's only ever a single."

"Weird isn't it? It's not like we both won't fit."

"That's not the point."

"They have magic fingers. Teal'c was telling me about these. Give me some quarters."

Day Ten

"County fair. That sounds fun."

"Could be. Could also be boring."

"Let's find out?"

"Why not?"

"Look Daniel I'm sorry. If I'd know how much you'd hate this I wouldn't have made you come. I just thought it would be something fun for the two of us to do together."

"No, Vala, it's not that. I'm having fun."

"Really? For some reason I'm having a hard time believing that."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you turning?"

"The fair's this way. Maybe they'll have a roller coaster or something."

"I saw something about those on the Discovery channel. They looked like fun."

"They are. Usually. I'm sorry I've been such an ass."

"You should be. I expect some sort of present to make up for it."

"I'll buy you some cotton candy."

"And win me a prize."

"What?"

"It's traditional. I saw it on TV. You go to the fair and win your girlfriend a prize. I want one of those stuffed bears. A big one."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"At this point I really don't think you do."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

Day Eleven

"We should start to head back towards Colorado now."

"I suppose so."

"Or we could head back tomorrow."

"We could do that."

"Got any more quarters?"

"Nope. We used the last of them."

"Only one thing to do then."

"That is?"

"Move to the jacuzzi. It's huge."

"We have a jacuzzi here?"

"In the bathroom."

Day Twelve

"So Colorado Springs."

"We should be there in about four hours. If we don't make any more stops."

"We could stop though. I mean we have a few days left of vacation time."

"We could do that."

"Or?"

"Or?"

"It sounds like there's an or there. The way you said that."

"Well, we could spend the last few days of our vacation at your place. A nice bed where the sheets don't have mysterious stains."

"Significantly decreased chance of food poisoning."

"Unless you didn't clean out your fridge before leaving."

"Which I did, so we'd have to stop at a grocery store."

"Or get take out."

"Take out could work."

Day Thirteen

"We need to take a shower."

"I'd argue that but you're right. We smell."

"Also the sheets need to be changed."

"At least the stains aren't mysterious."

"There is that."

Day Fourteen

"Work tomorrow."

"I suppose I should pack up my stuff then. Take it back to my room and all."

"Or-"

"Or?"

"Or you could pack up your room."

"And take it back here?"

"It's a thought."

"I like the way you think."