A/N: With apologies to Tanya Huff, Blood Ties, Lifetime, Chum tv, and anybody else who might take offense. None is meant, I just hope it gets a giggle or two. I thought about this on the way home yesterday and just couldn't get out of my head.

Art Imitates...Whatever

Vicki was waiting in Henry's living room when the sun went down. Waiting being a relative term. She was actually pacing. She'd take a few steps then stare at the bedroom door.

Would you wake up already?

Then there was Henry standing in the doorway to the bedroom, wearing his usual night clothes. Nothing. "I'm awake."

"Finally!" Vicki was agitated, but that didn't stop her from appreciating the view. Well, that answers a couple of nagging questions, doesn't it.

"What's wrong? Your heart's about to beat out of your chest."

Okay, Nelson, FOCUS! "Where's your t v ? I can't find it. Where did you hide it??

"I didn't hide it. All the people on Desperate Housewives were blue, so I'm having it fixed. Why?"

"You watch Desperate Housewives? You think you know a guy.

"Yes." Their was that annoying I am Royalty tone.

"Okay. That's gonna be a whole 'nother conversation. Get dressed, we're going to my place."

"Vicki, what is going on?"

"Just get dressed, your majesty, and I'll show you." She watched Henry disappear into his closet and thought, when this is over, I am so jumping him.

Twenty minutes later at Vicki's apartment

"Sit."

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Yes, milady".

Vicki put the tape in her VCR, sat down next to Henry and hit play. "You're not going to believe this."

Henry sat as the tape cued up. Strings and piano music played the eerie theme song, then the program started and the credits started to roll. As he sat and watched, his eyes got wider and his mouth hung open.

"What is this?"

"A new tv show. It came on last night. It sounded interesting, but I was going to dinner with Mike, so I decided to tape it. I watched the tape a couple of hours ago and that's when I went to your place."

"You had dinner with Celluci last night?"

"FOCUS."

"Fine. This could be awkward."

"No shit."

"Really. I am so much better looking than that guy."

"That's not what I meant!" She paused. "What about the girl playing me?"

Henry scoffed, "Please, she couldn't carry your purse. Actually, besides you, the only other person who's strong enough to carry your purse is me."

"Henry!" She punched him in the arm.

"Sorry. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Stop it."

"And how would I do that exactly?"

"I don't know. Use your "charm" or something." Vicki waved her arms like a magician.

"Vicki, my powers of persuasion don't extend to the entire world. We may just have to live with this."

"Where do you think they got the idea for a show about a vampire and a private investigator?"

"Apparently from some writer named Tanya Huff. If her books reflect how the tv show is, they're probably pretty good. Wonder where she got the idea? We've kept a pretty low profile all things consi-Tony."

"Tony?"

"Yes, one of his part time jobs is at the writer's reference library, production…...something. And he loves all things vampire."

Don't we all. "I'm going to hurt him."

"No, you're not." He looked curiously at Vicki. "What about that guy playing Mike? What'd you think about him?" The phrase 'loaded question' popped into Vicki's head.

"He's okay, I guess." Then she just couldn't stop herself. "He's got really broad shoulders, huh?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't look too smart. What about the guy playing me?"

"Couldn't hold a candle to you, babe. He'd do in a pinch, but I've got the real thing right here. That's good enough for me."

"Thank you. I think. So, now, where do we go from here?"

"Find Tony, go from there." Vicki got up looking for her coat.

"Do you think the producers would like to hear some story ideas?"

"Henry!" Vicki was heading for the door.

"Sorry. I'm right behind you."

"I'd rather you be in front of me. I like the view."

"Vicki!"

"Henry!"

They left Vicki's and went to have a word with Tony.