See, I love Syoaran so much, even after he ripped out Fai's eye. And I really, really love Fai. But I was convinced the whole time that deep down, Syaoran was there the whole time, but unable to break free.

So these are what I imagine his thoughts would have been like as he traveled on his own.

The boy sat alone by the river side, his feet swallowed by the water. Blood was dripping down not only down his face, but also his arms, legs, and through the ripped parts of his clothing.

It wasn't his blood.

It was their's. Those that got in the way of finding the feathers. Nothing could stop him. No one, not matter how strong, or how much power they had. He would get the feathers back. Without fail.

It was what he had been made for, what his whole life had lead up to. All of it was so that he could get the feathers. He had to get them back...to her.

Who was she?

He didn't remember. Not always. Not usually. But sometimes, things would slip into his memory. Of him and a girl. When they were so little, making crowns of flowers together, celebrating a birthday, comforting each other when they were sad.

And he could sometimes see them when they were older. Laying on the ground. Hand in hand. She wanted to tell him something. But...the bells...they interupted. He remembered that.

And later, that night. He took her to an older woman. The woman told him he had to go to different worlds, and find the feathers.

Find the feathers. Get them back. Must...save her.

She would never remember him. He was sad about that. Crying in the rain. Right? Maybe. He couldn't remember, because it always went away.

But then he could remember being a cafe. It was a cafe...wasn't it? And they were together, and they worked it together. And they laughed. And didn't they get drunk? And they flew in the sky, in flying contraptions. They raced. And so many other memories, times he was happy with her, times he was so sad. So sad that she couldn't remember him. Laughing, and fighting. For her.

And then sometimes he would remember other people. A little white creature, who was so sweet. Who would comfort him if he seemed upset, and sometimes fell asleep on him. And helped him. Helped him find the feathers.

Find the feathers. I will get the feathers back. Without fail.

And a tall, gruff, dark man. He seemed so angry and uncaring. But he could remember times when the man did things that showed how big his heart could be. He would save him. Save the others. Save all of them. And he cared for them. He wanted to protect them

He had memories of the two of them training. What was he training him for? Sword fighting. Right? Yeah. He was the one who had taught him to use his sword. He was the reason he was so good at using his sword. Why he could kill people with it with a single slice.

And another man. One who was always smiling. Always laughing, always joking, and always teasing the other man. He had memories of him helping around a cafe, fighting when it came to it. And he would always be there to comfort him if he needed it, such a loving guy.

And he had memories of all of them together. Laughing. He and the girl watching with amusement as the gruff man chased the smiling man around and around. They did it so often. All the time. The smiling man was always provoking the other man, and he could remember some silly names that he thought the smiling man might have said. He remembered at first he was scared for the smiling man's safety. But then he realized that he was uncatchable.

The girl and the smiling man cooking. The white creature slamming into the gruff man with a teasing laugh, most certainly imitating the smiling man.

Find the feathers. Get them back.

Did he hurt the smiling man? He had small visions of the man in his hands, bleeding. And the gruff man running to save him.

Save him.

From him.

He touched his eye suddenly, and a second later forgot why he was doing it. But he was certainly suprised when he realized something that wasn't blood was now flowing down his cheeks.

Why was he sad?

"Sa...Sakura..."

She had tried to hold him back. He had ignored her. Ripped away from her and walked into the portal.

And had left a bleeding Fai with Kurogane. Mokona was probably crying as it all happened. Mokona was so fragile.

He left them with the other boy. The real Syaoran.

He wasn't Syaoran.

Never had been.

The other looked exactly like him, except now he had a blue eye. That he got from Fai-san. Who he left bleeding.

"I'm sorry, Fai-san."

"I'm sorry, Kurogane. Mokona."

"I'm so sorry, Sakura."

But then suddenly, all the memories were gone. All of them. He couldn't even remember what he had spent the last five minutes thinking about.

Oh well. It didn't matter.

All that mattered were the feathers, and getting them back. That was all. Nothing else.

The air rippled around him and a portal suddenly opened up in front of him. Without thinking, he got up and walked towards it, the blood going more freely down his body.

Get if off of me. Get the blood off!

I'm sorry...

So sorry.

He stepped into the portal and it closed behind him. He would get the feathers back.

Without Fail.