Graveside Letter to Heaven
By Dragon's Daughter 1980
Disclaimer: Other than being a weekly viewer, I have nothing to do with Ghost Whisperer.
Author's Note: I stumbled across The Script's music video (The Man Who Can't Be Moved) for next week's episode on CBS' Youtube channel and found myself writing this short piece. I don't know if I'll expand this one-shot.
Dear Grandma,
Do you believe that there's one person in life that we're fated to be with, no matter what? Do you think it's possible to love someone so much that you can't imagine living without them because they're everything to you? Did you love Grandpa like that? Did you ever find yourself wishing that you had died with him?
I'm still breathing, Grandma, but I feel like my heart stopped beating with his. Over and over again, I fall asleep, only to wake up to find out this isn't a nightmare, some horrible dream that won't let me go. I tell myself over and over again that he's gone, that he's crossed over, and instead of relief, it brings grief.
I've cried and screamed, and done everything I can think of to get through the pain, but it's so hard. I've begged over and over again, "Why him?" I don't understand. I really don't. He was supposed to be the one person I could count on to give me happiness, to be my Light. I can't imagine my world without him, and now that I'm alone, I don't know what to do.
The pain is so sharp and the ache doesn't go away. It just gets worse with every breath and every moment that slips away from me. I want him back. I want him back with every fiber of my soul and life. If I could, I'd trade years of my lifetime for another day with him. I know it doesn't work like that, but I would. It's only been a day, and it feels like the hours have slowed to a stop. Everything's a blur since he died, and I'm not sure I want it to ever stop being like that.
Everything I do reminds me of him. It hurts every time I look up and he isn't there. Every thought I have seems to revolve around him. I reach for him and he's not there. I feel the sun on my face and it doesn't warm me. I hear children laughing and all I can do is cry because I was so stupid when I asked to wait. Then we ran out of time. I should know better than anyone that we don't have time, but I was selfish and I asked him to wait because I thought we would have all the time in the world. Now we don't and I'm sitting here, wondering what I've done wrong.
He was my life, Grandma. What am I supposed to do now?