Happy Helloween, W.I.T.C.H.E.
Songfic snarkiness by: A J
(Standard Disclaimer applies, with extra apologies to Bon Jovi)
Will Vandom came in from the trick-or-treating run mentally and physically exhausted. Having to ride herd on screaming preteens should be a job only handled by professionals on Halloween night, she thought with a sigh, and dropped her keys into the bin on the end table by the Vandoms' apartment door. And that had been the least of her problems, tonight …
Just as she was walking into the living room, midway through pulling her green Power Ranger costume's helmet off, the radio next to the TV started blaring.
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
Darlin' you give love a bad name
"Well, Matt's costume was appropriate, don't you think?" her mother asked knowingly as she stood up to face Will from the couch, remote still in hand.
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell
"Mmoommmm …" Will moaned, ready to put the stuffy helmet back on to try and hide her flaming cheeks. There was no way she'd ever forget Olsen's apropos outfit tonight; that of a fallen angel, blackened wings, tarnished halo, horns and all. "I, er … take it you heard, then …" Susan nodded with a chuckle.
"Taranee called a-heh, ahead … to warn me to … hee-hee, hide the chocolate," she replied, still laughing.
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free
"The traitor," Will smirked, not meaning it. The lines from the song behind her mother brought Taranee's costume to mind, as well. The Fire Guardian, after reading a silly story Hay-hay had penned about their possible kids, had tried out a stunt from it, and set her own hair on fire with her powers. Immune to the damage, her own image in a mirror had given her the idea to dig back out her old leather coat and be a female Ghost Rider for Halloween this year. People were still asking her at the end of the night what she'd used to create the effect …
The next line of course brought up matching images of the fiery girl's boyfriend, Nigel, who'd dressed up as a mariachi mercenary, six-string and six-shooter included.
Oh! You're a loaded gun, yeah
Oh! There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
Which immediately reminded Will of why she was already home, miserable, instead of at the party with the other teens now that all the grade-school kids they'd been escorting as part of this year's Community Service were safely home. The Guardians' best friend and ally, young Queen Elyon of Meridian, had come out this year as a cowgirl, and by the end of the night, had rustled Matt the Earth Regent's attentions firmly into her open arms.
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
Will almost cracked up anyway at that line, thinking of the only blonde boy in their entourage, Martin Tubbs. He'd come out as a tow-headed Jerry Lewis wannabe, with slicked-down parted hair, his oldest, thickest glasses, a mismatched sweater-suit borrowed from his dad's golf wear collection, and over-sized false front teeth. That he'd gone through the evening calling TMNT Irma 'Pretty Lady' all evening in a Lewis-worthy nasally voice just made the rest of the chorus match even worse.
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
Hey, you give love … a bad name
"Soooo, no hard feelings, then?" Susan asked when Will couldn't banish her smirk.
"Well, none aimed at Elyon, anyway," she replied, now picturing the dolled-up pair of undead lovers Eric (the zombie groom) and Hay (the vampire bride) as the next verse started.
You paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye
Will's smirk grew as she remembered that Hay and Eric's first kiss actually had been in farewell, after the Guardians rescued him from Nerissa's manipulative shenanigans in the Mall.
Whoa! You're a loaded gun
Whoa! There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
"Speaking of damages …" the redhead crowed, thinking of the other gun-toting kid in their group, Irma's kid brother Chris. "If Hay and Eric were obvious, Chris and Lillian were neon signs tonight. Irma and Corny may as well start writing up the pair's wedding invites. The native American brave and his golden-haired squaw with her cat papoose got more attention than flaming Taranee."
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
"Well, I hope you saved some pictures; I want to see what everyone else was dressed up as," Sue replied. She'd only seen Matt and Nigel's costumes so far, from when the pair stopped by to pick up Will for their CS duty that evening. Will just waved her phone, and nodded in time to the music.
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
You give love, oh!
"So, are you meeting Dean after the school function's over with?" she asked, tugging the zipper down on the back of her costume. After a moment of garment-shucking, she looked over at her unresponsive mother. "Mom? What's up?"
Oh! Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
"Dean and I are … taking a break," Sue sighed, averting her gaze. "Seems there were some mutual mixed signals at that convention we went to just after the school-year started …"
"No way …" Will blurted, wondering just what had happened at the Labor Day event. Two conventions in the same hotel, one for historians, and another for IT professionals, had drawn her mother and mister Collins both out of town for the long weekend, and only now was Will piecing together the odd behavior of the pair since their return. Or rather, of the not-a-pair, apparently.
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
"Well, I'm not sure what else to call it when we both, er … reconnected … with old college flings while we were there," Susan admitted. "I still cringe when I think it was the same couple … It also didn't help that he apparently figured out your little phone trick, afterwards …"
You give love
"My phone trick?" Will managed to squeak, trying to get the image out of her head of her mom, the college swinger.
You give love
(Bad name)
"You know, that one you pulled on me last winter with the drive-in song ..?"
You give love
"O M G, what did he upload to you?" Will begged, still standing half-out of her costume and staring at her mother in shock.
You give love
(Bad name)
All Sue could do in answer was turn down the stereo, hold up her i-Phone, and access her new ringtone for Dean. Bon Jovi was immediately replaced by Katy Perry's 'I kissed a girl'.
You give love
You give love
(Bad name)
Will's only possible response was to drop her costume top on the floor, get the gallon bucket of ice cream out along with two spoons, and settle in with her mortified mother for a night of female bonding.
You give love
You give love
(Bad name)
Author's note: Well there ya have it, folks, the long-awaited revenge fic for "Wake up, Susan!" Not to mention, a song-fic inside a song-fic, when you consider the ending. By the way, this piece marks the combination of my song-'verse and my holiday-'verse, so the two can flow from now on. Stay tuned for the upcoming Christmas sequel, and thanks for your support. Catch ya on the flipside, A J.
A N 2: For the curious, Will was dressed as a green frog Power Ranger, with padded armor like the first movie's. Peter and Cornelia were dressed as Tarzan and Jayne from the Disney animated movie. (It was a natch w/ Pete's dreds!)