Because You Loved Me
"For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true"
Feeling the gun pressed to the back of her head, she freezes. "One word and I shoot," a voice whispers, slowly spinning her around to face him.
Upon seeing the military weapon, she decides running isn't a good idea. She'd be shredded to pieces.
"Give me your weapon." She complies, not reassured at all by her supposedly bullet-proof vest. "Start walking toward your car. Drive me to your lab so I can gather the evidence against me."
"I can't do that. You've murdered five people."
"Then I'll shoot," he puts his finger on the trigger.
Suddenly she darts off, maneuvering through the warehouse. But her attacker knows his way around and takes a shortcut, blocking her path.
Before her brain is able to tell her body to turn around, she feels the pain in her stomach from the bullet. Yelling out in pain, she presses her hands to the wound, not registering that the man is approaching her until it is too late.
He pushes her with all his force, sending her to the ground. On her way down, her head smashes into the corner of a box littering the warehouse floor.
Mac and Flack coming running down the aisle, and the man runs. Don pursues the chase while Mac stops by his partner.
"Stella," he covers her gunshot wound. He turns her head to see her face, finding she has a big gash on her forehead. "Hang on, Stel."
She doesn't react to either his voice or his touch, her eyes remaining closed. Her blood stains his hands and clothes as he desperately tries to save her. "Please. I need you, Stella."
"For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all"
Mac sits in the waiting room of the hospital, surrounded by Flack, Danny, Lindsay, Hawkes, and Adam. "I shouldn't have left her alone. We shouldn't have split up. I'm her partner; I was supposed to have her back," he mutters to himself.
"Mac, it isn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything anyway if he had an automatic."
"It should be me," he whispers. "She's done nothing to deserve this."
"Stella's strong; of anyone, she'd be the one to survive this," Don says.
"Mr. Taylor," her doctor approaches the group. "Can I speak with you?"
He stands and walks away with the doctor. "Is she okay?"
"We gave her a blood transfusion since she lost so much of her own. The bullet was removed; it hit her liver but did little damage. We've sewn that wound up and the cut on her head."
"So she's fine?"
"Not exactly. I had them scan her head for internal injury. Your partner received a major concussion from the impact. As far as we can tell, it hasn't had any effect yet except her unconsciousness. We'll continue to monitor her to be sure no swelling occurs and that she hasn't suffered memory loss or anything."
"Does she have a room yet?" The doctor nods. "Can I speak to her?"
"I'm afraid that isn't possible. The anesthesia has worn off, but your partner is still unconscious. The injuries caused her to go into a coma. We don't know when and if she will ever wake up."
Mac's knees go weak, and he collapses on the floor.
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me"
"It's been one month, Stel. I'm going to lose it if you don't come back soon," Mac sits beside her bed, holding her hand. "I really miss you."
He brushes her curls out of her face. "They've convinced me to go back to work. This past week's been hard without you. I'm so used to having you there to help me."
For a few moments, he watches her, hoping for any sign of movement. When nothing changes, he sighs. "Danny and Lindsay seem more annoying. Maybe
because I have to deal with them more without you. And they're back together… I think. You're not there to keep them in line. And the others are the same… Flack's got a new girlfriend."
Mac's fingers trace the scar on her forehead. "His trial is next week. I don't know how I can face him after what he did to you. We have to get a conviction, Stel; the evidence is too strong for him to get off."
A nurse knocks softly on the door. "Visiting hours are over, Detective."
"Just two more minutes. Please," Mac says without looking up from his friend's face.
"Only two. I won't forget this time," she wanders off.
"Stel… they said you may never wake up from this. You have to prove them wrong. You always liked to be right, and now's your chance. Please… for me, Stella," he wipes his eyes, trying to hide his tears because he had to be brave for her. Of course she was one of the few that had ever seen him cry. And he'd already done his share of crying over the last month.
"I love you," he whispers, kissing her cheek. "And I'll never give up hope on you no matter what they say."
"Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me strength 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
"Happy birthday," he greets her. "The team told me to give you their wishes. It was a long day; they decided to go have a drink for you to celebrate tonight. I… felt that I should be here with you. If you were here, you'd have forced me to go; but it would've been a waste of your time… I love being with you."
Mac scoots his chair closer to her bed, noticing the balloons and flowers fresh in her room. "I got you something. But I won't tell you so you'll have to come see it for yourself. It's from your favorite store though."
He removes the bracelet from the box and takes her hand. Gently he clips it on her wrist, admiring how beautiful it looks on her. "It's perfect for you. I don't know what it says on it though so you have to come back and tell me. I hope it's nothing offensive."
He holds her hand and closes his eyes. "I can't believe it's only been two and a half months without you; it's felt like years. You have to come back. I've gone back to the old Mac and closed myself off again. I just… don't see the point in trying without you here to support me."
Mac looks out the windows, seeing the empty space where the towers used to be. "I think it's worse than when I lost Claire. At least I had you. Now I have no one. And I can't sleep; whenever I do, I have nightmares about that day I lost you. It should have been me, Stel; you still have so much left in your life. And because I decided we should split up you might never get to do those things."
After a few minutes, he gets up to leave. "I have to go before the nurse forces me out. Happy birthday, Stella. I miss you."
"You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand, I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall"
"Hey, Stel," Mac kisses her cheek. He studies her before continuing, swearing her head had moved slightly. "I had today off and thought I'd spend it with you since I haven't spent much time here lately. It's just… depressing to see you like this. And the doctors always say you've got less of a chance of waking up now that it's been over three months since the incident."
He reaches out to take her hand, and it twitches as he touches it. After a moment of staring, he shakes his head; his eyes were just playing tricks on him today. Deciding his lack of sleep was also a factor, he chooses to take a nap while she is safe and sound in the bed next to him.
"Mac," a voice beside him whispers.
He jumps awake, looking around before finding a pair of emerald eyes staring up at him. "Stel, you're alive," he hugs her, smiling for the first time since she's been in a coma.
"Where am I? What happened?"
"The hospital. We were in a warehouse, and you were shot and fell into a box. It cut your head open," he softly touches the scar. She looks blankly at him. "You don't remember?"
She shakes her head. "Where is everyone?"
"At the lab. I'll call later and have them come by after shift."
"Don's already back at work?"
"What do you mean?" Mac frowns, puzzled.
"After the explosion. You were with him and saved him. He can't already be back."
"Stel, that was over two years ago," he informs her. "Is that really the last thing you remember?"
She thinks for a moment. "Nothing after that sticks out."
"I had your love, I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you"
"As I had feared, she did suffer from amnesia. However, it seems she has only lost a few years, which I'm sure you'll all help her remember," the doctor address the team.
"Will the memories ever come back?" Lindsay asks.
"It is possible that at least parts will when you discuss them with her. But I cannot say for sure they will." When no other questions arise, he leaves.
"So what happened the first year?" Stella asks.
"You thought you had HIV," Mac quietly says. Everyone looks at him in surprise. "You were cut by a piece of glass that had the guy's blood on it. And Adam did the test a few months later… obviously it was negative."
She lifts her arm up, studying a scar on her wrist.
"You must remember it because I didn't say where you cut yourself. After that… we were trapped in the lab by the gang trying to steal back their drugs."
She shakes her head after a moment, "Nothing."
"I went to London… and started to get stalked. You met a guy who was very persistent in dating you. But he turned out to be my stalker and was just using you."
"Three-three-three."
He nods, "Why that number?" She looks at him expressionlessly. "The number on the door where his brother was killed… and he blamed me for that."
"He used me? Like Frankie did?"
"Not exactly… he was trying to prove a point to me by taking you away."
"I'm still here," she smiles.
"Thank god for that," Mac holds onto her hand.
"If this is just me, what's happened to all of you?" she turns to the others, letting them each talk.
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me"
"I was getting sick of that place," Stella mumbles as they leave the hospital.
"You? You were unconscious most of the time," he guides her to his car. Being a gentleman, he helps her in.
"Mac, I'm not injured; I can get into the car by myself," she frowns.
"You have a brain injury."
"What's the big deal? It's just a couple years. And I remember some things when you talk about them."
Mac shakes his head at her, "Still the old Stella."
"Why can't I drive?" she suddenly asks, studying him.
"First, you're still on medication. Second, you've been in a coma for three months; I don't think driving in New York traffic is a good time to relearn."
"I learned how to drive like twenty years ago. I didn't forget."
"You don't know where we're going. And I'm the man – I drive."
"Were you always like this?" He doesn't answer, and she remains quiet until they park outside a building. "I don't live here. And neither do you."
"Yes, you do."
"No. I moved after Frankie but not here."
"I guess we didn't tell you about the fire."
"What fire?"
Mac sighs, "There was a fire in your building a couple months before you were in a coma. You lost almost everything. Come on; let's go pack you a suitcase so you can stay with me."
"Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
"All I've had since I woke up is junk food. I've probably gained fifty pounds," Stella grumbles.
"You probably lost weight while in the coma; it'll do you some good."
She glares at him, "Men just don't understand."
"Do you want to watch anything?"
"I don't remember what I usually watch."
"Okay, then why don't we unpack your suitcases since you'll be staying for some time?"
The two go to his spare bedroom and begin putting clothes away. "Are you sure these things are mine?"
"Yes, I told you there was a fire. And thanks to you two little kids were returned to their parents."
"Whatever you say." When they finish up, she yawns. "I think it's my bedtime."
"I'll leave you alone them. And tomorrow I promise I'll try to cook for you. Good night," Mac kisses her cheek.
She freezes in the middle of the room, words replaying in her head, but she couldn't quite place them… Please… for me, Stel. I love you. I miss you. I got you something.
She looks down at her wrist, noticing the bracelet for the first time. It reads 'Strength – Passion – Beauty.'
Mac and I are just friends… right? She sinks down on the bed, confused. Two years ago they were just friends. But a lot could have changed since then.
She loved him; she had since they'd been working together. However, she'd never known how to tell him, afraid of rejection and losing the best friend she'd ever had. Maybe she had admitted it; or maybe he did, if he even loved her too.
There was only one way to find out: she had to ask him.
"You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you"
Mac jumps as there is a knock on the door. "Come in." She timidly enters his bedroom. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I just had to ask you something." Stella is unable to find the courage to ask her true question. "When can I go back to work?"
He indicates for her to sit down. "I haven't decided yet. Not until I know you're fully capable outside of work."
"Capable of what?"
"Basic things: cooking, driving… everyday things. Because our work is so complex and one wrong move can destroy evidence. Just to make sure you didn't have any other brain damage."
Deciding he is right, she nods, unconsciously twisting the bracelet on her wrist. "A few days?"
Hesitating, he nods. "Assuming nothing is wrong."
"If it were you in my position, you'd be back at work tomorrow, whether it's best or not."
He gives her a light smile. "Do you like the bracelet?"
"Yes, thanks. You really didn't have to."
"What does it say?" She shakes her head. "I know you can read it. Is it something bad?"
"No. I can't tell you. But I'm sure you thought it fit."
"Stella," Mac says sternly.
"I can't." She closes her eyes, "I came in here to ask you something about us. I'm just really confused around you, and you're the only one that can help."
"Ask. I won't criticize you; it's not your fault."
Stella takes a deep breath and releases it. "Were we dating before I was in a coma?"
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me"
"No," he slowly replies. "What would make you think that we were?"
"What the bracelet says. And you said at the hospital that you love me…"
"But you were unconscious… when I said that…" he looks at her in awe.
"I could hear most of what was said. That's probably why they tell you to talk to people in comas."
"Oh… I…"
"Is it true?" When he doesn't give her an answer, she stands up and heads to the door. "I took this too far. Sorry. I'll… figure it out."
Stunned, Mac is momentarily stuck in place. After her words sink in, he chases her. "Stella," he grabs her shoulder, turning her to face him.
"Just forget I said anything," she tries to go, but he holds onto her.
"I… it's true. I am in love with you. Almost losing you made me realize how I feel. And I regret not telling you sooner; we work really well together and would make a great couple," he stops abruptly. "I mean if you love me too and want to start something."
"You do?"
"How can anyone not love you?"
"You'd be surprised," she mutters to herself.
"So… what about you?"
Reflecting on all her past relationships, all of which ended badly, Stella hesitates in admitting her feelings. "I… I…"
"I'm not going to be like all the others," he whispers, reading the fear in her eyes.
"I love you too."
"Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
Four days later Mac takes her to her first crime scene since her accident. As she stops inside the bank, she freezes, something hitting her.
Realizing she is no longer next to him, he turns around. "Stel, is everything okay?"
"You were held hostage in a bank."
"Shortly before you were shot."
"I was really worried about you."
"I know… you were really angry at me for going in there alone." He pauses, letting this sink in. "And I thought you looked cute when you were upset."
She blushes, "I guess things will come back… eventually."
The other team members, who had gotten there minutes before, gather around for Mac's instructions. "Hawkes, you and I will examine the bodies. Stella, you collect all bullets, casings, guns. Danny and Lindsay, you have everything else."
She puts gloves on and begins with a handgun next to a victim. After emptying the magazine and securing the gun, she bags it, Mac keeping an eye on her to be sure she's doing it right.
Once the bodies are taken away, Sheldon aids Danny and Lindsay while Mac helps Stella. "You get bullets and I'll get casings," he compromises as they work separate from the others. She doesn't respond. "Stel, where exactly are we in our relationship?"
"Somewhere between friends and dating," she shrugs.
"Let's take that leap. I know Frankie's attack is fresh in your mind and you didn't have anything really after that to forget, but you'll be safe with me."
"I'll give it a chance when we're not living together."
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me"
"You'll be okay by yourself?" Mac asks for the third time, not wanting to let her go yet.
"Nothing is going to happen," she assures.
"You always say that and then something does happen."
"Just go, Mac. I'll see you tomorrow."
He kisses her cheek softly. "Now that you're living here we can go out. Dinner tomorrow evening?"
"Okay," Stella nods. "Thanks for letting me stay with you."
"It was nothing. I wouldn't have let you be by yourself anyway."
"I guess I don't get a story tonight."
"I could stay for a little while and keep our routine up," he offers.
"No, you have to get home and sleep. It's getting late."
"I'll be fine; I've lived without sleep before."
"It's not healthy," she frowns at him.
"Why don't you tell a story tonight?"
"About what?"
"Whatever you want to tell me."
"But I like listening to you tell stories."
He sits beside her on the bed and gives in. "What do you want to hear today?"
"How we met."
"I got myself a cup of coffee and headed to my office to wait for you to come for your interview. But when I go into my office, someone was sitting in my chair."
"And you dropped your coffee all over yourself."
"You were so sorry for sitting in my chair."
"I was surprised you hired me."
"I'm glad I did; you're a great CSI. But you still haven't learned to stay out of my office."
Stella laughs, "Yours is just so much bigger than mine."
"Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
"Are you going to let me in?" he asks when she answers her cell phone.
"Why are you here? It's only six." She looks at the clock beside her bed. "Shoot. I'll be right there."
"Stel, you're not going to dinner in that, are you?" Mac slowly asks, motioning to her jeans and t-shirt.
"No, I was going to take a short nap after I showered, but it turned into a long one."
"Oh…I guess it's good that I couldn't get us in until eight."
"What were we going to do for an hour?"
"I figured we'd stop by the park… you always seem to like it there. Except not for work this time."
She kisses his cheek. "I'm sorry I ruined your plans."
"It's okay."
"Give me ten minutes," she turns to go.
"More like twenty."
Stella faces him again and hits his chest. "That's not nice."
"It's true."
"Just stay here while I get dressed."
Fifteen minutes later she comes out. "Wow, you're beautiful," he stares at her.
She twirls around for him. "Mac, it's not polite to stare."
He takes her hands, "I can't help it."
Blushing she says, "We probably should go."
"Yeah," Mac finally looks away as he leads her to his car.
Love
"Dinner was really good," she says in the elevator as he takes her back to her apartment.
"Claire and I used to go there a lot."
"She had a son, didn't she?"
"Reed. He followed you thinking you were Claire." He stops outside her door, "Stel, I'm really sorry that you lost your memory. We should have stayed together."
"It isn't your fault," she takes his hands in hers. "And I'm starting to remember, aren't I?"
"If only it had gone back a little further, you could have completely forgotten Frankie. I wouldn't have told you, and you would've never known what he did to you."
"What would you have told me when I found out I had a murder charge cleared in self-defense on my record?"
"It was in the line of duty."
"But those aren't put on there."
"Don't worry about it. I just wish it hadn't happened to you."
"Can we not talk about him anymore?"
Mac studies her bracelet. "Will you ever tell me what it says?"
"No."
Unable to hold back any longer, he leans forward to kiss her. She is a little surprised at first but gives in quickly. Eventually they part when oxygen is needed.
"Maybe we should go inside," she opens the door so they can have privacy.
"I love you," he barely manages to get out before pinning her to the wall, his lips against her neck.
"Mac," she pushes him away gently. "I can't."
"Sorry," he lets her have space.
"I really want to but I can't. He's still clear in my mind. I know that it was two and half years ago, but it seems to me like yesterday."
"I understand."
"Will you stay tonight?" Stella timidly asks.
"Of course."
She takes him to her bedroom. "I feel safe with you near. You've done so much for me, and it's thanks to you that I can go back to normal."
"Nothing can change my love for you."
"I love you too."
"I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"
A/N: I wrote this story for my friend Lissy's birthday. The song belongs to Celine Dion. I can't think of anything to talk about really. I have to start editing the other story I've typed... actually I think I still have to do the last chapter. That should begin Sunday or Monday. Mac and Stella are fighting... it gets pretty intense. I need to get my mom to take me to the doctor for my wrist... it's hurting again. If I go back to dance without having anything done about it my dance teacher will yell at me. Okay... I guess that's it. Please review. I hope you enjoyed the story like my friend did.