Dragonflowers does not own anything!!!
What would happen, do you think, if you knew the true me? If you knew that I played the piano, the notes flowing like ripples over the still pond of your mind. In all my life there has only been one who could unlock this part of me. No others compared to her, she was like the tiny window of normalcy in my drab cell.
I saw her dance, moving to the imaginary music, through the dark great hall one midnight, Her long blue-black hair fanning out like shadows in the silvery light of a veiled moon. Some how she knew that I was watching, awestruck by the way she WAS. She was there but not entirely. Like a waif on the edge of reality, she was one of the students that you never knew existed. I think that there were many people that I didn't see; I was to far gone into the role of a bratty pure blood to see anyone other than my enemies. But this was different.
The nights that I wandered with out a destination I came back to the person I had been. Usually I went where even Potter can't find me, the room of requirement. In that room I could imagine a grand piano and sit for hours just bathing in the music that flowed from my fingers. She looked straight at me, a thin knowing smile on her lips. I shivered unnerved by this ethereal being.
Walking briskly away I made my way to the room of requirement, rejoicing in the feel of ivory beneath my fingers. A new song flew out of the strings struck by hammers. In my mind the girl appeared, dancing, guiding my fingers to her steps. I stayed all night perfecting the noted until they rang in cascading echoes inside my skull. I saw the dawn break through the grimy windows.
I stood up and waked in to the great hall unshaven, unhappy, and unclean; yet I didn't care. My sleep-deprived eyes scanned the massive room looking for the thing I had never thought to notice. Giving up I sat down at my house table, glaring at everyone in eyeshot; they backed away, leaving me almost alone on my bench.
"Why the raincloud Draco?" Next to me ignoring my black aura was a girl with blue-black shadows in a halo around her head. I looked over keeping my face impassive,
"Why do you even dare to speak to me? Are you that thick?" my voice was almost cool enough, only a bit of tremble.
She Laughed, "Thick? You think I'm thick?" She held onto her sides, "You twat! I'm more perceptive then any of your little friends." The acidic venom in her warm voice shocked me.
"Are you?" I drawled, "If you are so smart, where was I last night?"
"Watching me, the strangest Slytherin since Tom Riddle, Dance I the light of an October moon." She said her chin resting on interlaced fingers. Her light green eyes flashed up at me through thick lashes made black with mascara. Here eyes weren't covered by the usual subtle makeup other girls wore, but outlined in black. She looked a bit wild, hair held up by two black, jewel crusted, geisha like hair ornaments. I looked her up and down again, noticing black and white striped hosiery held up by garter straps attached to a poufy petticoat under her school skirt.
"Like it? I'm charmed to be able to wear this stuff without the teachers or what ever knowing that I'm not dress code." She grinned mischievously; her K9 teeth were abnormally pointy.
I cleared my throat, "You had better not be a -"She smacked me on the arm.
"Shame on you! That is not the way to ask a persons name, now is it? Surely Mummy taught you better." She extended a pale hand, " the name is Anwen Xiulan"
She pronounced her name Sheeyoo-lan, Anwen Xiulan; I like her name.
"I like it," I said offering a wan smile, "What does it mean?"
"Anwen means white, fair, beautiful, and Xiulan is Chinese for elegant orchid. So, my name means 'white orchid'." I smiled feeling happier than I had in days because of her glow of energy and the winning smile she rewarded me with. I studied her profile as she took a sip from goblet of pumpkin juice; up her ear were five piercing and at the top a metal bar sliced horizontally through the cartilage. Fascinated by the perforations I wondered if she would let me touch it.
"Ummm," I rubbed my neck, " Can I touch the bar in your ear?" I looked away hiding the pink tinge on my cheeks; I chanced a glance up at her.
She blinked, "Sure? It didn't really hurt if that's what you want to know and I know the best shop of Ink and body piercing. Y' know if you want one." She leaned forward a bit and I reached out to feel the metal. To my surprise it was warm under my fingers. I looked close at the places it passed through her skin; they had healed perfectly, as if the bar were not there. The other piercing were the same except the second one down. I touched it lightly, and she flinched.
"Sorry…" I put my hand in my lap, "if it's not to intrusive what happened to that one?"
She touched it absently "My father ripped it out a bit after I go it. He said that I was a tramp. You have to understand that he is a very strict conventional Chinese business man, never approved of the leniency my mom allowed me." She folded her hands in her lap creating a crater in the fabric. Some one clamped onto my shoulders.
"Draco!" the girl whined in my ear, "Let's plaaaay." She pressed against my back apparently ignoring the girl next to me. Damn you Pansy, I thought. She seems to pop up at precisely the worst moment. I got up for the sake of my image and she clung to my arm, "Oh, and you," She glared at Anwen, " Mr. Malfoy is mine. So don't even try." I walked away not even looking over my shoulder retreating further behind the hard shell.
" Hey Parkinson slut," A voice piped up from the chaos, "Game on." Pansy gaped and Anwen muttered something under her breath before sauntering away, hips swinging.
"D-Draco please excuse me…" Pansy scurried away, looking stricken.
I shrugged and turned to leave for class only to bump into a familiar red head. She grinned. I grabbed her hand and towed her out into the faint sunlight, she summoned a black lace parasol and shaded her face.
"What did you do?" I stared hard at her pale face.
"I simply vanished her under garments. I think peeves has them now…" I shook my head; She was brilliant, I had to admit it
"How did you learn to dance? I was like nothing I have ever seen before." The question was totally out of the blue, but she didn't miss a beat.
"My mom used to be a geisha in Japan one of about ten white women in the history of geisha to actually be trained. She taught me how to dace like one. So I took ballroom and traditional Japanese into my dance. I tried ballet but they never let me anywhere near the point shoes." She smirked at her own words, "Back then I didn't know that I had magic and I ended up sending the crazy French woman to St. Mungos."
I blinked, and looked again at this girl; her eyes were not the generic English shape, they were slanted and wide, almond shaped. Her body was more organic than the usual Asian geometric angels. She was looking off at something he couldn't see.
"I was wondering if… never mind." In my thoughts I screamed at myself, 'you can't trust anyone. You know that, so why did you want to share with this girl you only met today?' He looked out at the horizon, movement catching a flick of movement. She tilted her head in an inhuman, quick movement. The quickly graying sky split open farther down the valley, a silver curtain approached on cold winds.
He felt a cool hand in his own, she looked at him and squeezed, "Come on, who wants to sit in divination for two hours?" Her eyes glowed with pretended innocence.
I grinned, "I forgot it was doubles week."
She had a look that kind of scared me, that strange insubstantial quality, as the first drops of rain pelted us. She led us deep into the silent forest on the edges of the grounds even though it was forbidden to enter. We climbed a low hill to a large tree, its red and orange leaves blotting out the rain. She sat on the ground and looked out into the mist; I looked at her. She looked so at peace, like I had never been able to be; I envied her greatly. She caught my eye, a smile twitched at her lips. She stared to hum a song swaying back and forth, ignoring the rain.
"Sweet little words made for silence
Not talk
Young heart for love
Not heartache
Dark hair for catching the wind
Not to veil the sight of a cold world
Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn
First day of love never comes back
A passionate hour's never a wasted one
The violin, the poet's hand,
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care
Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn"
I vaguely recognized the melody; she leaned against my shoulder, sighing. I tried not to go rigid, and she looked at me.
"I love the rain, it helps me forget that we live in awful times. What do you think, truthfully?" I considered telling her lies, but than I remembered that she was nobody in the eyes of the people I was around; perhaps I thought that she was nothing as well.
"The rain reminds me of how we are different than people see us, and that usually the outside of someone is just one layer. You never know what you could find when you scratch the surface." She blinked owlishly at me and glanced down at her hands, watching them as if they didn't belong to her as she reached out and touched the back of my left hand. Her freezing fingers traced up to the huge ring, rubbing over and over the crest. I didn't dare move; she turned my palm up and ran the tips of her fingers over the creases, brows furrowed. She chewed her lips, thinking.
"You have the hands of a musician, Draco. But your fate has never been and never will be a true path, nor the one you want for yourself." She kept the steady strokes of her fingers on my palm, "I know that you can't trust me yet. You don't have to tell me that; but let me get to trust be fore you shut me out, I will trust you because I do now." She fit her fingers between mine; her hands were cold as death. "When I was 13, I cut because my father hated me and my mother was always drunk. Then I found a room, it was covered in mirrors and a little known ghost taught me how to dance. She would play a gramophone and I would copy her movements, step by step. I could also talk all I wanted to her, she couldn't speak, but she would write things out. I told her every thing, and she made me understand that there were other ways to let go of my fear and anger." She kept a steady gaze on the horizon,, watching the mist cover and uncover the trees. I squeezed her hand gently, looking at her face, and wondering.
"Come with me." I was earnest now, "I have some thing to show you." I stood pulling her up with me. We ran for the illegitimate way into the school, laughing, as we were soaked to the bone. I pulled her to the entrance of the room of requirement and imagined the music room. I opened the door for her and she looked around curiously. I sat at the piano and she joined me at the bench. I started the song and behind my eyes she danced. I could feel her swaying beside me. Glancing at her I saw her hands watch my fingers, as they teased the melody out of the strings. She glanced at me eyes far away.
As I finished I saw that there were tears in her eyes, hands folded in lap she blinked them away. "If you are willing to play it some more, I'll dance." She said shyly. We spent the rest of the grey rainy day in that room; she danced, I played. She moved so smooth, I was hypnotized by every little flick of a finger, every bat of an eyelash. A perfect fusion of Traditional Japanese dance and formal French based Ballet. Very refined, very precise, very graceful, and very beautiful. Then I looked at her feet, patches of red appeared through the pink satin of her shoes, but she still danced as if she was in a strange form of trance. I stopped playing, panicked, and half ran to her. She blinked as if confused by the lack of music. I just picked her up; one unhesitating motion, carrying her to the piano bench.
"What… Why did you make me stop?" She asked.
"Anwen, look at your feet…" I began to untie the ribbons, she flinched feeling the sharp pain now.
"Ahh!" she drew a sharp breath, "I work myself to hard." I pulled the other shoe gently off her foot. Her feet were strangely shaped, like they had broken and not healed quite right. Her grip on my arm almost hurt. Finding nothing else to use I pulled off my shirt and ripped it into long strips wrapping them around her feet. She bit her lip,
"Umm…" She jerked her hand away after almost griping my arm again, "Why are you doing this for me? I'm not y' know easy, or anything."
I blushed and looked up at her, "I'm doing this because I know your hurt and its partially my fault, also you are the first person I've trusted enough to bring here and share my music with." She nodded and put her hand on my shoulder, steadying herself as I moved to wrap the other foot. I realized how much leg was attached to her foot, and tried not to fumble as I tied the ends of the bandages. She looked up at my face, nails still digging into my shoulder. She unclenched her hand biting her lips,
"I-I think I can stand." She shifted to a seated position, and gingerly put her injured feet on the ground. I offered a hand, which she ignored and shoved to her feet. She cried out in pain and crumpled towards the floor. Stepping quickly in front of her I caught her against my chest, supporting her weight. She blushed furiously,
"I don't think it's wise for you to try to walk." She gave an embarrassed smile and nodded. I scooped her up again and exited the room casting a disillusionment charm over us. I almost ran to the Slytherin dormitories as she hid her face against my chest. Every one was in bed so she couldn't go to her dorm. Being head boy had its advantages, one being that I have my own room with a separate living area and kitchen. I slipped into my quarters and rushed her to the bed, softly lying her down. She jumped at the contact, "Umm… Why am I suddenly on your bed Draco?"
I almost laughed, "because you are sleeping here tonight?" she almost panicked, "Don't worry, I will be on the couch. Please make yourself at home." I bowed and suppressed a low chuckle at the relief on her face. I turned to leave, only to be stopped in my tracks; she held onto my wrist.
I swallowed, "what?" She blinked then blushed, "Well, I don't like thunder, at all. Just ask my room-mates, I cower like a cat under my bed covering my ears."
My turn to blink in surprise. Afraid of thunder? Out of all the things to be afraid of… "What would you have me do my lady?"
"Just having some one in the room helps." She said shifting nervously. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and stared at her oddly colored eyes; I noticed that one was a slightly different green than the other. She blinked breaking my concentration; I shifted my gaze to her mouth. It formed one perfect word, "Draco?" I blinked again, "Mmm?" She cocked her head, "you ok?" I shook the cobwebs out of my mind, "yah, sorry just… never mind." I stood abruptly, mentally shaking myself.
Outside thunder clapped as we tried to sleep; every boom made her jump, but she stayed on her side of the bed.
CRRRRASH!!!
She screamed and practically flew across the bed, bashing into me (I had sat up at the huge thunder clap) and ending up in my lap. She whimpered, pressing her tear soaked cheek to my chest. I blinked, still groggy from almost unconsciousness, finally registering that a girl was clinging to me. I pressed my palms to her back and just held her as the thunder continued to torment her. She looked up at me pleading,
"What? What is it Anwen?" She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't, I sighed, I already know what she wanted. But I just held her closer as the storm tried to bash in the windows around us. She squeezed my ribs to the point where I couldn't breathe. I gasped, and she lessened her death grip.
A huge burst of thunder made her jump, legs wrapping around my waist. Resulting in a rather awkward sitting position. She blushed, "s-sorry!" I chuckled nervously. She tried to untangle herself the only result was squirming. My arms instinctively tightened around her, she tensed. "Draco…" her brows were pulled into a worried expression, "Wha-" I silenced her by putting a finger over her lips, she blinked up at me trying to talk around my silencing action. "Shhh" I ran my hand to the base of her spine she shifted closer head tilting eyes sliding shut. I leaned in a pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, her hands slid to the base of my skull, long nails digging in slightly, she panted from her mouth. Her breath tickled my cheek; she pushed my head so that our lips met, gingerly.
Boom
She jumped and pressed in; unintentionally deepening the kiss, she bit my lip gently. I groaned; she shivered when I opened my mouth to let the sound out. I gently sucked her lower lip teasing it with my tong. Her nails dug in further, I raised a shaky hand and rested it against her ribs below her bra. She leaned back, causing us to topple over; I put out my hands catching myself above her. Her legs were still around my lower back as she sprawled beneath me. Our faces were inches apart, I could feel her breathing under me, and her breath was hot on my face. I swallowed jerkily before leaning down and opening my lips against hers. She arched up against me and I fell on to her, pushing my tong into her open mouth.
She was an elixir, her smell, and her smooth skin, the arch of her back. I knew that if I wanted to take her, she would let me. But I wouldn't, she… I didn't deserve her. She pulled at my hair, fingers rubbing at the silvery strands. The storm raged around us, her lips moved against my ear in the darkness, "I will die for you." She pulled back the sleeve of her dress shirt, revealing the dark mark carved into her flesh with a curse. I bent and licked the inky scars. She moaned my name, leaving scratches down my neck.
That was the first last and only span of time that we had spent together. She was in my life for less than a month. The next thing that I knew was a note in her spidery handwriting,
Draco-
He wants to see me. I feel that I will not return, but know that I have always loved you. That will never change. Don't cry for me; know that I did this for you. I am not sad. Fear no darkness or thunder, have courage.
Anwen
Just like that she was gone, killed by her master. She did it for me; she had always loved me. These phrases still ring through my head even though all I have left of her is the note that is worn beyond recognition and a pair of bloody point shoes. Some times I see a flash of lightning and smell her, see a ghostly image of her face. Then I wake up panting, and break into silent tears. I hope in vain that she somehow lived to dance again, but none ever do.