Inanimate Love
Author: Palgrave Goldenrod
Fandom: Doctor Who (Classic)
Characters: The Fifth Doctor, the TARDIS hatstand.
Relationships: Fifth Doctor / TARDIS hatstand. Yes, you did read that correctly.
Disclaimers: Look, if anyone working for the BBC in 1984 ever saw this coming, I'd be deeply impressed. That alone should tell you something.
Author's Notes: A photo-set on Tumblr of the Fifth Doctor and his hatstand lead to the prompt "Doctor/Hatstand". Which, in turn, led to this.
Look, I'm not sure how either. Just run with it.
Summary: The doomed, tragic one-way romance between a hatstand and a Time Lord.
She struggled to suppress a tremble as his warm, firm hands gripped her, the touch of his fingers against her smoothness casual but somehow so sensual. Granted, she didn't have to struggle very hard, for she was after all just a hatstand and incapable of trembling under her own power anyway, but it was more than that. The sensation of his touch — of him — did things to her, things that were so delicious because they were forbidden, things that she had never before thought possible before him, and not just because she was just a hatstand.
The Doctor, of course, didn't notice (mostly because, again, she was just a hatstand), but she didn't mind. Couldn't mind. To be near him was more than enough, too much, in fact. These intoxicating moments, when he touched and lifted her and carried her — carried her! Such power! Such strength! Such a man!
But even better, even better were those rare — too rare, but so, so beautiful — moments when he even spoke to her, those beautiful, beautiful words full of such promise that filled her with such deep, raging desire …
"Yes," the Doctor said approvingly, as he turned the hatstand over in his hands, "you'll look very good next to the main console room doors."
Oh, my love, the hatstand thought as he carried her through the corridors, my love, if only you knew of the things your words did to me.
But he didn't. And tragically, he never would. For she was, after all, just a hatstand.