Title: Who Is He
Author:
musketau
Summary: YAHF
Pairings: None
Rating: I'll say PG, i
think.
Crossover: You'll see
Disclaimer: All characters are
property of Mutant Enemy and whoever
else wants to lay claim to
them. It's not mine, honest.
Feedback: Oh, please!
Who is he?
By musketau
Rating:
PG-13, just to be safe
Summary: YAHF. If you can't guess this
one, then there's no hope for you.
By the
way. Has anyone else done this crossover?
Timeframe:
Guess.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, they'd
all have a lot more fun.
Moving through the crowded costume shop, Xander was once again amazed at the choices, at the sheer number of costumes available, even though it was still 3 days to Halloween. He'd come here intending to pick up a rifle for his soldier costume, he had a set of fatigues at home with John Rambo on the nametag, but he couldn't. Not with so many costumes to choose from. There had to be something better in this cornucopia of costumery.
30 minutes later, Xander was frustrated. Sure, there were a lot of good possibilities, and the soldier idea was totally out of the running, but none of them really spoke to him.
"Is there anything I can help you with, young man"
The British voice, coming seemingly from his right shoulder, caused the justifiably paranoid Xander to jump to the left, knocking over a rack of costume accessories.
"Don't do that, man, not in this town" was the response from the boy, followed by "Sorry about the costumes, I'll fix it right up"
"That is of no importance. I'll fix it later. I am Ethan, the proprietor of this establishment, and I could see you having problems deciding what to wear" Ethan had been in town for a fortnight, on the trail of good ol' Ripper, and recognised this boy as one of the group of youngsters surrounding his old running mate. He decided, then and there, that any costume the boy chose would have something extra special in it.
"Well, yeah. I didn't expect there to be so many choices. To tell the truth, I thought I'd be scrounging to get a half-way decent costume. How come you have so many left?"
"A small error on the behalf of the shipping company. Since I didn't have to pay any more, and have so many more to choose from than expected, I am giving everyone great deals this year. So what has caught your fancy?"
"Nothing in particular." the dark-haired youth explained "A few are interesting, but none really call me"
"The costumes call to you. Well, you seem to be really getting into the Halloween spirit, letting the inner you out to play. I like that. If you can put together a good costume, I'll let you have it for advertising alone. But only if it is a good, original costume."
"What do you mean, for advertising alone" Xander commented, confused.
"I mean" Ethan replied "if you'll tell everyone where you got the costume from, I won't charge you for the rental."
"Okay. I'll take that deal"
Xander was now on the hunt, and was glad the girls were coming down tomorrow for their costumes, as they would probably think it was weird, the way he prowled the racks of clothing, the shelves and boxes searched for the illusive treasure he sought.
Surprisingly enough, the inspiration came from the rack Xander had accidentally knocked over. Reaching the rack after searching for 20 minutes, our hero saw something shining under a white, Storm-type wig. Pulling it out, a smile grew until it looked ready to split his face.
Ethan, watching from his position behind the counter, wondered what could have so inspired the man, and if it would be good enough to really deserve the discount, although he would give it to him anyway.
Xander was now a man possessed, seeming to rip through the store, picking up some things, discarding others as it failed whatever test it was subjected to.
Ethan could see no pattern, and this interested him, since he expected this boy to go with one of the standards, despite his deal. What possible costume could you make with the odds and ends he was picking out.
Worn blue jeans,
Solid boots,
A grimy shirt that Ethan hadn't even known he'd had. His confusion grew as, after selecting the shirt, the boy proceed to rip it from the neck half way down. The rest of the selection, which this child was bringing closer, didn't help.
An old style cavalry holster, used to hold rifles while riding,
a leather belt,
an old, leather bound book,
a toy double-barrelled shotgun
A toy chainsaw, usually part of a Leatherface costume,
And finally the piece which started the hunt, a single glove off a suit of armour. Why would anyone want the right glove off a suit of armour?
Dropping his hoard on the worn table, Xander looked up into the confused eyes of the owner. What was his name, Nathan? No, Ethan "So, what do you think, Ethan?"
Was he supposed to recognise this? "I don't know. Suppose you tell me who it is you are dressing as, so I have more room to judge."
"You can't tell?" Xander replied, confused "I thought everyone knew these movies."
"Unfortunately not. I can't see any real costume being made out of this hodge-podge of costume accessories. But how about you prove me wrong" Ethan was interested now, hoping that someone in this town had some imagination.
"Okay, I'll tell you about this guy, maybe that will jog your memory" Xander replied, not believing anyone didn't know him "To start with, he isn't your everyday hero. He didn't want to get involved, and he certainly didn't want to fight. If it wasn't his only way home, he would have done nothing."
"He wasn't a coward, his history up to this point proved that. This man had been forced to kill the woman he loved to stop the evil within her from killing others. He disfigured himself to prevent the same evil infecting him. He had fought an evil most wouldn't believe in, until he was wrenched from his life into a world where the evil was everywhere, even though it was not understood"
Ethan was fascinated. This boy could almost be talking about fighting on this Hellmouth. A prevalent evil most don't know about, and indeed many try to say doesn't exist. Had the boy chosen a costume more fitting than he'd though. Ethan could see the marks of a fighter on the child, even one so young. Maybe the costume had called to him, morphic resonance between two people so alike, except for avoiding the fight. The boy had chosen to fight, most would forget what they see, but not him.
This looked to be a more interesting night than he'd thought. Now who is he?
"When he fought, this man fought with everything in him, but he wasn't perfect, and on occasion his actions caused more problems, especially his bad memory and his luck with bad women" 'Well, we've definitely got that in common', Xander thought, unknowingly agreeing to an extent with his current audience, "But when the chips are down, he comes through, sometimes with blind bravery, diving into the bad guys. Sometimes by using his intelligence to come up with the solution."
"This certainly sounds like a most singular character, but I still can't identify him. You have got the deal, but please satiate my curiosity?" Xander looked confused. Oh yes, an American "Who is he?"
"Oh, okay" Xander had understood the slightly creepy Brit, but baiting him was like baiting Giles, a never to be missed opportunity. "His name is…"
Halloween Night
The tall man stood up once the dizziness passed, looking around. 'Okay, not the cabin, not the castle, where the hell am I now.
Seeing small creatures running and attacking people around him, the man grabbed the shotgun from the sheath on his back with his left hand. Raising it, he pulled the trigger as a small horde approached, aiming at the short, Spiky-haired blonde with the screwed up forehead leading them. Before he could even get a word out, the two barrels of buckshot tore his head off, and the rest of him just turned to ash.
"Well, that's new" he said, before looking at the slightly grovelling horde in front of him "but this looks familiar."
Standing straighter, the dirty looking man gazed down at the collection of beasts below him, before bellowing "This is my BOOM-stick. The twelve gauge double-barrelled Remington. S Mart's top of the line! You find this in the sporting good's department!" He moved the barrel from left to right, watching the beasts cringe "That's right, this baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about a 109.95." he wasn't going to tell them it was now useless, at least until he reloaded "It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger! That's right, shop smart . . .shop S Mart!"
As he spoke, a woman came around nearby corner and spotted him, just as he moved the shotgun forward quickly, causing his opponents to scurry like cockroaches out of the light of his glare. Looking up and seeing the nearly undressed lady running towards him 'Hey, looks like my lucky day', he decided to give his all-purpose pick-up line. Looking her straight in the eye, he said "Gimme some sugar, baby."
Rather than falling at his feet as he expected, the woman hit him in the chest while saying "XANDER, cut it out" all the while turning the most remarkable shade of red. Or at least she tried to.
"Alright lady, what are you" he yelled, as the hand aimed at his chest passed through it "I've dealt with a lot of things, but the ghost of hookers past is something new. And who is Xander, my name is.."
"Xander, stop fooling around, we have to find Buffy and stop whatever is going on."
"The only thing I want is to be left alone, but no, I have to be dragged through time AGAIN, to fight things that look like nothing I've ever seen before. They're even worse than deadites."
"Oh No" Willow exclaimed, realising Xander was also possessed. Remembering what she could of the character, Willow realised he wouldn't blindly follow her, and was tough enough to survive on this night in a way few other were. Making her decision, Willow turned and ran towards the library, yelling over her shoulder "Don't kill the little ones, they're kids who got dressed up".
Willow ended up finding the possessed Buffy and, by threatening to haunt her, forced her to hide in the basement of her home, totally forgetting Giles. With Spike dead, the transformed children had no interest in Buffy's house, so they both missed out on the rest of the night. Drusilla was upset, but she did warn Spike, so instead of going on a rampage she instead invited some of the children in for tea. Instead they ate her, and spent the remainder of the night playing with the dolls.
Angel had a long-standing hair appointment in LA and so missed out on the excitement, coming back the next day with an orange mohawk. Since the vampire couldn't see it, the stylist decided to have some fun with the vampire that had annoyed him.
Once the weird girl left, this mysterious man decided to check he had everything. "Okay, shotgun, check. Better reload that, damn only a dozen rounds left, wonder if I can find any more around here?"
"Next, chainsaw, check, fully fuelled and ready to go. Better not put it on yet. Just in case. The hand is better at the moment." He left the chainsaw clipped to his belt
Anyone watching this young man would have heard him talking to himself about his equipment until he reached behind the shotguns sheathe and pulled out a book. Then the speech turned into yells.
"You have got to be KIDDING me. What the hell am I doing with this? Where did I get it? Are the deadites going to come?" Realising he was talking out loud, he stopped talking and watched his surroundings carefully. Aside from some of the small creatures he'd seen earlier, this part of the street seemed pretty clear.
"Just hope it stays that way" he muttered.
Finally, hoping to find some answers, or at least some ammo, the warrior moved towards the centre of town.
We skip forward a bit at this point, past Xanders possessed body finding some more ammunition, past him beating the living crap out of a man named Parker who looked a bit like him, to when he arrived behind a warehouse.
Walking into the alley behind the warehouse, the man was following the sounds of screams. Before going too far, the man decided to change weapons, removing his right hand and replacing it with the chainsaw that had hung on his belt. Starting up the chainsaw, he moved deeper into the alley, seeing what looked like a pirate attacking a girl in a cat costume.
'Maybe I'm not the only one moved through time' he thought 'This pirate isn't from this time'. Well, maybe this time he'd have a grateful woman for saving her.
Moving closer, the chainsaw wielding man stepped into the light, showing himself to the pirate, who had stopped attacking the girl once the unusual sound of the chainsaw started.
"That's enough. Leave the woman alone and go away" he said, hoping to scare him off.
The possessed form of Larry was not scared. 'This fool can't be serious. That is the weirdest knife I've ever seen, but it wont keep me from my prize'. Moving towards this new opponent, he looked back and said "Don't go anywhere, lass, I'm not finished with you yet."
Unfortunately for him, while looking away, his opponent had attacked. The sound from his weird weapon grew, and he swept it at his sword. Laughing slightly, he waited, planning to run him through when his weapon bounced off his sword.
But it didn't happen that way. Instead of the clang noise he expected, the pirate heard a grinding noise, as his sword was ripped out of his hand. Scrabbling to retrieve it, Larry the pirate was amazed to find the blade shattered, only a few scant inches of steel clinging to the hilt. Amazed, he looked up at a grunted "Hey" to see a boot collide with his face. After that he only saw stars. Maybe he could find his way home.
Looking at the collapsed pirate, his opponent said "That felt surprisingly good" as he turned to look at the girl. Who was no longer there, having run like the dogs of war were at her heels as soon as the pirate turned away. From that day forward, however, Cordelia was slightly nicer to Xander. Slightly.
"Damn, there goes another chance. What the hell is going on here, anyway?".
Unbeknownst to him, this possessed teenager had an inbuilt sense of danger, in both his incarnations, and so would eventually end up at Ethans. We draw a veil over the next hour of mayhem, as the youth moves through the town seemingly randomly, but always closer to the costume store. Finally.
"Okay, that does it. I don't know what is going on, but I want off this ride, now!" As he spoke, he heard laughter from the nearby costume store. On such a strange night, this normal sound was the most unusual thing he'd heard. Moving towards the store with the stealth of both the men in his body, he looked through the window and saw two things of interest.
The first was an aging man almost capering with delight, despite the blood on his face and hands. He had seen enough blood to know it was real. The second however seemed to call to him. A statue of a two-faced god that almost glowed.
Ethan was happy, waiting for Ripper to show his face. He knew that eventually his old friend would find out what happened, and come searching. What fun.
Too bad for Ethan that, since Willow was with Buffy, no one went to Giles. Giles spent the night listening to his Cream LP's, and had no idea anything was different about this Halloween.
Hearing the door open, Ethan turned "Well, hello Ri… You're not Ripper, you're that friend of his who dressed up as..…"
"I don't care who you are" was the quick reply from this interloper "What I want to know is what you did to me? Why am I here? Answer, damn you!"
Since this rather upset gentleman, with blood running down his arm, was holding a running chainsaw very close to his skin, his important, not to be cut-up, skin, Ethan decided answering his queries was the best option. Ripper might hit him, but it rarely involved machinery and threats of dismemberment.
"I wanted to have a bit of fun with my old mate Ripper, um, Rupert Giles, but it appears he's been delayed. Awfully sorry. I decided to let people turn into their costumes for the night, let the inside out, you know" he blathered, trying to get away with his life. "Terribly sorry for the inconvenience."
"The inconvenience! Some of the people I saw had their insides spread over the outsides of their bodies. How do you stop it?"
Deciding that he'd had enough fun for the night, Ethan decided to let this nice gentleman stop the spell "It's the statue. Break the statue and you break the spell."
Looking at the statue, the chainsaw-wielding man realised he couldn't let this English twit get away with what happened tonight. His rarely used intelligence told him that if he broke the statue, whoever he was possessing wouldn't know what was going on and would let him get away. Thinking for a second, the man leant against the counter and felt the book on his back.
A grin spread across his face that didn't speak well for Ethan. Moving towards the Englishman, he pulled the book out. "Can you read this?" he said opening the book to a marked page.
"Yes, why?" was the strained reply.
"Well, in return for my not slicing and dicing you, you're going to copy out these two paragraphs and say them out loud. If you don't, I'm going to start at your feet and work up. Understand"
"Yes, yes, anything" Ethan hurriedly copied out the requested paragraphs, watching as the maniac threatening him moved the statue out of the store. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Just making sure you keep your end of the deal", he replied "I'm not going to destroy the statue until you've read the passage out loud. Now get in their and start reading."
Moving into the shop, Ethan started reading the passage, grumbling to himself 'I'll get him once this is over, you'll see. He wont remember, and I'll get him'.
It should be noted at this time that Ethan had, as promised, put something extra into Xanders costume, allowing the possession to stay, although Xander would be in charge. Too bad for Ethan he forgot this in his panic.
Finishing the first paragraph, Ethan was amazed, astounded and frightened out of his little mind when a giant tree creature burst through the floor and attacked him. Dimly over the smashing floorboards and his own wailing, Ethan heard Xanders possessed body call out, "Finish the second paragraph and it will go away." Almost mindless with terror, Ethan complied.
From outside, Xanders body watched as all the costumes in the shop were whisked away, revealing a portal through which Ethan and the creature were being pulled. "This looks familiar" he muttered. Finally, just as Ethan was pulled through, the portal closed.
"if I get sent back there when this thing is broken, you'd better believe I'm having fun with you" he said to the now empty shop. Almost as if everyone knew what was happening, the night grew quiet as he raised the statue and said "Oh, what the hell. Klaatu, Verata, Nictu. Hey, I remembered" as he threw the statue at the brick front of the store.
The Next morning
Giles had been at the library for less than an hour, and already he wanted to go back to sleep. First had been discovering that something had happened the night before, when Willow had called. Then Angel had come in to find out what happened, with an orange mohawk of all things. Someone had broken into the library and damaged some of the books. Now this.
Xander walked in with a confident stride, unusual for him. He held a bag in front of him as if for protection but his expression said he realised he didn't need it. His face was covered in a multitude of small cuts. Stepping up to the research table, Xander turned to Giles as he put the bag down "Hey, G-man, where were you last night?"
"Don't call me that, and I was at home. I didn't discover what went on until this morning when Willow and Buffy rang"
"Are they alright?" he asked, remembering Willow as a ghost.
"They're fine. Apparently they were possessed by their costumes. I went to the store where they were bought, but the store was empty"
"I sort of know something about that G-Man" Giles raised his eyebrows, "Sorry, Giles, but first answer me a question. Do you know someone called Ethan? Cause he knew you." Seeing Giles turn White, he continued "Ethan was behind it all. He turned people into their costumes. My costume dealt with him. You don't have to worry about Ethan any more. He was sucked through a portal, and with any luck is stuck in medieval times being chased by deadites."
"Deadites!" Giles exclaimed. Looking over Xander, noticing the ripped shirt, his general size and coloration. "Do you mean to tell me you went as…"
"You know him?" Xander questioned, incredulous. He didn't think Giles even owned a television
"Know him. I wanted to be him, many years ago" Giles replied, calming slightly.
"Well, I did get to be him. And it seems that some of it stayed with me"
"What happened?" Giles asked, worried for his charge.
"I'll tell you what I did, first" Xander proceeded to tell about his night. If you want to repeat it, just reread the story up to this point.
Finally finishing, Xander waited while Giles sat back in shock "Let me understand this. You killed Spike and at least half a dozen other demons and vampires, except for the little ones due to something Willow said, beat up Larry saving Cordelia, of all people, beat up and killed more demons on the way to Ethans store, threatened to cut him up with a chainsaw, forced him to send himself through a portal like you went through to medieval times, then got your face cut to pieces when you shattered a simple statue. Is that right?"
Xander looked down "Not a bad night, but as I said, some things stayed behind.
Giles looked concerned "What stayed?"
Reaching into his backpack, Xander brought out 2 things, a chainsaw and a book. "The shotgun also is real, but I couldn't fit it in the bag. The chainsaw has fitting on the back like in the movie. But the scary thing is the book is real."
"My word, the Necronomicon ex-mortis, the book which can raise the dead. You haven't read any of this have you?"
"Of course not, Giles" Xander replied, annoyed, "I know what it can do. It destroyed his life. Unfortunately, that's not the worst part, for me."
"What could be worse than this book being real" Giles snapped.
"I said for me, Giles, and there are two things. One, I have all his memories, and he seemed to be trying to talk to me in my dreams."
"And the second?" Giles questioned, concerned that he knew the answer after seeing how Xander had kept his right hand behind the bag, and remembering the movies.
"This" Xander stated, moving his right hand out from behind the bag.
Giles could now see that his right hand appeared to be made from a suit of armour, which fit the movies. He had to ask, interested and worried all at once "Can you, I mean, does it.." he couldn't finish.
Thankfully, Xander knew what he was asking and answered "Yes Giles. Watch."
At this time, and unseen by either of the two men, 2 girls had entered the library and were approaching them. As the girls watched with growing horror, their friend reached down, gripped his right hand, which seemed to have a metal glove on it, with his left, wrenched it clockwise with a metallic crack, and pulled it off the end of his arm.
The girls where speechless, the sight rendering them mute and unable to move as Xander turned to Giles, saying "I really wish I hadn't dressed up as Ash last night."
END
