Disclaimer: 'Charmed' belongs to Constance M. Burge, Brad Kern, and The WB. No copyright infringement intended. Title and lyrics come from Britney Spears' Where Are You Now.
Timeline: Post 6x13: Used Karma
Author's Note: I wrote this around 4 years ago. I've been relooking at it every so often. I finally decided to do a final run through ta da! Enjoy
Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're not there
I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like an endless fight
I never seem to win
Phoebe Halliwell was sitting on her bed, staring at the wall in front of her. She had locked herself up in her bedroom in the Halliwell Manor. Work seemed too painful to attend and Elise did not care as long as the column was in by deadline.
How could she show up at The Bay Mirror when Jason was around? Had he told anyone about the break up? What would her co-workers say?
They would give her pitying looks, and Phoebe couldn't handle that from others. Even if they didn't say anything, she knew what they were thinking. She was an empath, and with her emotions settled on heartbreak, she could easily detect those feelings.
I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering
It had been all her fault and she knew it. If only she had told him sooner…
Then what? Would he have understood?
Dan hadn't understood when Piper told him; then again, it was under a magical situation where he was aging to the point of near death. But when Paige told Glenn about being a witch, he accepted it with open arms.
After a year together and moving in with him, Phoebe should have realized that it was time for her to tell him the family secret. Wouldn't Jason have been okay with it if she had come clean, instead of him seeing the sisters orb into the kitchen before his eyes?
Too bad Tempus was destroyed.
How had Prue done it? Oh yeah, she tried the Truth Spell. But before Andy could tell her how he felt, the spell wore off and he didn't know what they were talking about. When Prue finally did tell him, they hadn't gotten back together, but he was still her friend.
That was different, though, wasn't it? Andy had been around the Halliwell's since before Phoebe was born; in fact, Piper froze him a lot back when they had powers as children. Andy had always known something was up.
Phoebe was stuck wondering what if.
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go
Phoebe fell back against the bed, thinking
Where was he? Was he at the office? Was he at a meeting? Was he in another country? Was he thinking about her like she was thinking about him, or did he decide to forget Phoebe Halliwell altogether; pretend she was just the star advice columnist who worked for the paper he owned?
The tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about him.
I can hear your voice
The ring of yesterday
It seems so close to me
But yet so far away
I should let it out
To save what's left of me
And close the doors of doubt
Revive my dignity
Pictures flew into her mind. They weren't premonitions, just memories of the past.
The day she had been showing off pictures of Wyatt to her co-workers when Jason Dean walked through the doors and startled the office. No one expected the new owner to be so young.
The way they had first head-butted about how they did their jobs and had finally come to a mutual agreement.
That time that he had assigned her to the online dating article, to only end up meeting each other in the end.
She saw Piper, as well as Elise, telling her to move to Hong Kong to be with Jason. Phoebe did. They had spent weeks together in pure happiness.
The more the memories flowed, the more the tears escaped.
But, I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go
I should let it out, it's time to let you go
Oh baby, I just want to know
Phoebe couldn't stay in her room forever. That was such a teenage thing to do. She was an adult. She was expected at work and had to go in. Seeing Jason wouldn't be so bad. She had seen old boyfriends after break-ups. After Cole, it tore her heart after faking his vanquish, but she had moved on from that. She could do the same now.
Demons wouldn't be waiting for her to get over the break up.
She made a deal with herself that tomorrow she would wake up, shower, dress, and go to work with her head held high and help others who needed her. Giving advice about a broken heart was no good if she couldn't get through it herself.
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go
There was a knock on her door and without waiting for a response, her sisters entered and walked over to her.
Piper sat down on the bed and smiled. "Hey, Pheebs. Paige and I are heading over to P3. Care to join us?"
Phoebe looked at both her sisters. They had been in the same position as her before.
Piper had lost Leo numerous times and had always come out of it as a stronger woman.
When Paige finally realized that she was in love her best friend, she found out he was getting married to another woman.
Look at them now.
Phoebe had sisters to support her and show her how to be strong. Whatever happened next was meant to happen. Phoebe knew that and would let destiny take its course.
"I'd love to join you," she said with a smile.
.end.