Chapter 1: Naming Their Child

"Ronald!" Hermione yelled. "This is serious! We have to have a name picked out."

Ron snapped awake. Hermione had been talking to him about what they would name their child (since she was now 4 months pregnant)—and he had fallen asleep.

"Come on, Hermione," Ron grumbled. "Do we seriously need to talk about this now? I mean—that baby's not comin' out 'til, like, 21 months."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You are really stupid sometimes. It doesn't take 25 months for a woman to give birth. Common sense, Ronald."

"Common sense, Ronald," He mocked her. "Who cares how long it takes? Just as long as that baby comes out, we're fine."

"Ronald—"

"And stop calling me Ronald!"

"Ron, giving birth is a very important and beautiful thing. You wouldn't understand because you're male. But we women take it very seriously. Contractions, vomiting, mood swings—women put up with because it's worth it! After all that we'll get to see our child born. Giving birth isn't something you should take for granted. It has to be planned out. When you become a parent you have to sacrifice some things—RONALD WEASLEY, WAKE UP!"

Ron had fallen asleep again. However, he jumped and woke up when Hermione yelled at him.

Hermione's eyes began to tear up. "You don't care about me enough to help me name our child! Do you even want a child? You wouldn't even care if I took out my wand and yelled a killing spell at my stomach, would you? Well…I think I'll do just that, SINCE YOU DON'T CARE!" Hermione pulled out her wand, but before she could perform a spell, Ron grabbed it from her and threw it across the room.

"Bloody hell, woman!" Ron yelled. "I just fell asleep. You're acting like this is some sort of big event going wrong."

"Giving—birth—is—a—big—event," Hermione said in between sobs,

Ron rolled his eyes and put his arm around her. "Okay…I'm sorry. I guess I'm kind of nervous about it too…but you're acting like the baby will die or something!"

"THE BABY CAN DIE, YOU STUPID GIT!"

"Alright, alright—I'm sorry. Let's just focus on naming our child. We know it's a girl. So how about—Alesti?"

Hermione wiped her eyes, scrunched up her nose, and said, "I don't think I like that name."

"What? Alesti's a pretty name!"

"Whatever, Ron. How about…Radha?"

"Radha?"

"It means 'success' in Sanskrit."

"Sanskrit?"

"It's a language. You know—you could do with learning a few."

"No, no, no, no, no, no…bloody hell no! How about…Valerie?"

Hermione frowned. "That name is so…common. I want our daughter's name to be unique. Besides, Valerie Weasley doesn't really sound right."

"Well, Radha Weasley sounds stupid!"

"You're stupid."

"Hmm, I wonder how many times you've told me that. Well, this is you—" he cleared his throat—"'I'm Hermione Granger, I'm much smarter than anyone in the Wizarding World, and I want to name my baby Radha because it means success in Santaskirt."

"It's Sanskrit! And I don't talk like that or act like that. Ugh! Let's just get back to naming our child. How about…Seiriol?"

"Ew! What does that mean in Santaskirt? Let me guess…cereal."

"It's not Santaskirt—I mean Sanskrit. It's Welsh. It means 'the bright one'."

"No. We're not naming our child Seiriol! It sounds like cereal anyway. How about—Ronalda?"

"Ronalda? Isn't that your name?"

"I'm a boy!"

"Wow, really? Didn't your mum want a girl anyway?"

"This is not about my mum! Anyway…it's your turn."

Hermione thought for a while. "How about…Rose?"

"Why would I want to have a child named after a flower?"

She glared at him. "Rose is an elegant and beautiful name. Just like the flower. It also sounds sophisticated and intelligent."

"More like slutty and inhumane."

"We're naming her Rose!"

"No, we're not!"

"We are—"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

Hermione got up from her seat and grabbed the wand across the room. She pointed at her stomach and yelled, "YOU DON'T THINK I'LL DO IT?"

Not wanting Hermione to shout the killing spell at her stomach, Ron shouted, "Okay! Okay! We'll name her Rose."

Hermione smiled and said, "I knew you'd agree with me." Then, she walked over to Ron and kissed him on the cheek. "I can't wait for Rose to be born!"

As she walked away, Ron muttered, "I don't know how I'll survive 21 more months of this."