Disclaimer : All characters belong to CLAMP, especially since I doubt I'll make new ones.
Editor : And again, a big thanks to Morningstripe for correcting all my mistakes!
The Fate of Life
Prologue:
"Kuro-chi?"
The ninja turned his head to look at him. "What?" he asked in a semi-sleepy tone. They were in bed and, by the looks of it, one was almost asleep.
Kurogane held the blond closer and played with his hair.
Fai looked at his lover's face, shivering lightly at the contact of the strong hand. Though he was sleepy, he had the same indifference he had every time he looked at him. The again, not completely indifferent. Fai could still see the tenderness and love hidden in those crimson eyes.
Fai sighed deeply. How was he going to do this? He didn't even know how to start or how to continue. Heck, he didn't even know what to say! It was so... hard!
But he had to tell him. He had to, or else things would get bad. But... but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Facing Kurogane with things that concerned him was already hard! But this was far worse then everything else! Why?
Because he would hurt his lover.
And the fact that he would hurt Kurogane and make him worry was too much to bear. Because Fai knew that if Kurogane worried about him, it would lead to nothing but pain for the both of them, especially for his lover. And that was the last thing he wanted.
But... he still had to tell him! Because... if he found out by someone else, he would be even more hurt and he would be angry– oh so angry! And again, Fai didn't want that.
"I...I..."
But strangely, the words wouldn't come out of his throat, wouldn't go through his lips. They were stuck there, painful, unbearable.
"You what?" asked Kurogane, looking at the blond, a little puzzled.
Fai lowered his gaze slowly and grabbed Kurogane's shirt, holding it tightly. It ached! It ached to make a choice, to not know what to do! And, in both choices, Kurogane would be hurt, really hurt.
The latter frowned at the sight before him. "Are you okay?"
Ugh! He was already worrying! Hearing that made Fai unsure. If he worried for a little down that he couldn't even be sure of, Fai didn't want to see him after he heard what he had to say.
"Nah, don't worry. I just... can't sleep."
Fai gave one of his sweet smiles that he hoped really said, "Don't worry, I'm really all right!" Because it was official. Fai couldn't say it and he wouldn't say it. Well... not tonight, at least.
The smile seemed to reassure the sportsman a bit and he gave a small smile in return. Then, he slowly pressed his lips against the blond's. "Don't worry," he said after. "I'm sure you'll be able to sleep soon enough."
Fai smiled again and looked away. He had to figure out how he was going to hide it until he was ready to tell Kurogane. How he was going to...
... Hide his sickness. Hide the times he'll be at the hospital. Hide everything.
A/N : Well, I hope you liked it! I know it was short, but that was just the prologue. I promise the chapters get longer!