So this was swimming around in my head for a few days, so I thought it might be best to get it out. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Remus Lupin sat in front of the veil, as he so often did these days, just remembering. He remembered his old friend and, although it sounds cheesy, soul mate, Sirius Black. The hair, the laugh - the way he used to mess around with James and the rest of the Marauders back at school, and the way he'd use that cheeky grin to get himself out of all kinds of trouble, especially with Remus himself.

Closing his eyes, Remus let his mind drift back to thoughts of their schooldays

"Oh, come on Moony. Just think of the look on old Snivellus's face!"

"For the last time Padfoot, no! I'm not going to help you! I'm a prefect - you can't keep trying to get me in trouble with your stupid pranks!" Remus avoided his friend's gaze. He suspected Sirius knew exactly how Remus felt about him, and although he obviously couldn't return the feelings, it sometimes felt as though Sirius knew exactly how to get Remus to go along with anything he wanted to do, just by looking at him in exactly the right way. Of course, Remus always gave in in the end.

Later, when running through the halls of Hogwarts, Remus regretted giving in to Sirius, yet again.

"Quickly, get in here!" Sirius grabbed him by the wrist and dragged a panting Remus into a nearby closet, slamming the door shut behind them both. Both boys struggled to keep their breathing quiet while listening hard, until they heard Snape, who had been chasing them, drenched and furious, yell something best left unrepeated and stormed off.

"Well that...that was a close one" Sirius chuckled quietly and both boys got their breath back. It was only then that Remus noticed that the cupboard wasn't exactly very big, and Sirius was pressed up against him in a way that wasn't exactly conducive to a clear mind. Also, Sirius hadn't opened the door, and even in the dark, it didn't look like he was planning to any time soon.

"Sirius?"

"Yes Remus?"

"I think he's gone"

"I'm fairly sure he has, yes"

"Then, um..." Remus hesitated, unsure.

"Why are we still here?"

Remus looked into Sirius's eyes. Since his own eyes were now accustomed to the gloom, he could see that Sirius was grinning, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. It made Remus slightly nervous, but also a little hopeful. Maybe Sirius did share his feelings – but no, he couldn't - Sirius, well Sirius was straight. He would never see Remus as anything other than a friend, but Remus couldn't bring himself to give up all hope, not really. He would always be a little in love with Sirius, and he would just have to put up with that.

"You see, Remus, I have something to discuss with you" Sirius paused for a second, and if Remus didn't know better he would have sworn that there was a flicker of nervousness in the animagus's eyes. "And now seems as good a time as any to test out my theory"

Remus waited nervously.

"You see," Sirius leaned in a little closer now, and try as he might, Remus couldn't help the fact his breath hitched a little and warm breath drifted across his face "I think I might like you, and I have the funniest feeling you like me, too." Sirius rushed a little, nerves finally getting the better of him. For his part Remus just stared, open mouthed, at his best friend.

"Are you serious?"

"Well I was the last time I checked" Sirius chucked slightly at his own bad joke.

"Oh, ha ha. But really though."

In answer, Sirius just lent in a little closer, and pressed his lips to Remus's. The kiss was soft at first, but soon Remus let himself relax, and kissed Sirius back, with growing intensity. But all too soon, Sirius pulls back, smiling softly. "I take it I wasn't wrong then." He murmured quietly, but with a small note of victory in his voice.

"Oh, shh" Remus muttered happily, pulling Sirius back towards him.

***
Tears now spilt down the werewolf's face as he remembered those carefree days. He remembered how they'd ineffectually tried to keep their relationship a secret until James and Peter confronted them directly about it. Remus had thought they'd reject them, but as Peter pointed out, they'd already accepted that he was a werewolf, so also accepting he was gay and in love with Sirius was not a particularly big jump. James had simply taken Remus aside and warned him that if he deliberately hurt Sirius he wouldn't be responsible for his actions (although Sirius had later mentioned that James had said the exact same thing to him about Remus).

But it was after they left school that things went wrong. James and Lily were dead, and Sirius blamed. Remus almost believed it at first, but over the years that followed he became increasingly sure that Sirius, his Sirius would never have done anything to hurt James and Lily.

And then Sirius had escaped from Azkaban a changed man. Most of the light had left his eyes, and his grin was seldom seen. He and Remus were friends again, but nothing more. Sirius spent all his time in hiding, and complaining. He doted on Harry, as if trying to make up for lost years. Remus, never having been the type to initiate any difficult conversation, simply watched him from afar until one night when they were both staying in Grimmauld place, when he had heard Sirius calling out his name in the night, and rushed to his side, only to discover Sirius still asleep, and thrashing around in the throes of a particularly bad nightmare.

"Sirius! Sirius, wake up!" Remus shook his thin best friend by the shoulders "Sirius, it's ok, it's only a dream..." slowly, Sirius seemed to come out of the nightmare, and as his writhing turned into trembling sobs, Remus just held him close, relishing the rare contact with his former lover. "Sirius" Remus pulls back a little reluctantly "Sirius what happened? You were having a nightmare"

"I...I dreamt that..."Sirius sobs violently, burying his face in Remus's chest. He tries again, so quietly that Remus had to strain to hear him. "We were... in a forest, running away from... something, I don't know, and, and there was green light" Sirius's voice cracked again, and it was a moment before he could continue "green light, everywhere. And you, you were hit, and you fell..." Sirius looked up into Remus's slightly shocked gaze. "Stay here with me, please, Moony" Remus, despite his better judgement, nodded, and wrapped his arms around Sirius as they both went back to sleep.

After that, the two had slowly built up their relationship secretly, and had come to depend on each other entirely. Remus was aware of the rest of the Order's occasional curious glances, when he and Sirius had held each other's gaze for a little too long, or brushed 'accidentally' against each other a little too obviously, but for the most part, he ignored their confused expressions. Harry, of course, was oblivious whenever he visited Grimmauld place, although Remus suspected Hermione had caught on, though thankfully if she had she kept quiet about it. All was well, until that fateful day after Harry decided to go rescue Sirius from the ministry, which of course led to the order having to rescue Harry from the ministry. Naturally, Sirius had insisted on coming too.

"For the last time, Sirius, no! You can't come!"

"But he's my godson,Remus! I can't just sit here and do nothing! Come on, we're wasting time!" and looking him straight in the eye, Sirius grabbed his hand and they, along with Mad-eye, Tonks and Kingsley, disapparated.

After that, the whole scene became a blur. He was vaguely aware of Sirius letting go of his hand, of them running through the ministry to the department of mysteries. He duelled with the rest of them against the death eaters. He was lucky to have not been hit really, as half his attention was taken up by watching Sirius as he duelled with Bellatrix. Then suddenly, seconds after Dumbledore had arrived Sirius was hit.

The world seemed to stop revolving.

He took a step forward, shocked. He saw Harry run toward the veil that Sirius fell through and ran to grab him, holding him back from following although it was all he could do not to follow himself, just to catch one more glimpse of Sirius's face, but he knew that it would do no good. He was always the sensible one and now he knew that there was nothing he could do. He faintly heard himself speaking to Harry, telling him it was too late, although his mind screamed that it couldn't be, it was impossible that Sirius was gone.

Tears were streaming thick and fast down his face now, as he tried to hold back his heaving sobs. It had been a year since Sirius had gone – Remus still refused to think of him as dead – and he still came back here, in the way that some people visited the graves of people they had loved and lost, except he had to either think of an excuse or break into the ministry each time, just to sit here in front of the veil and contemplate just letting himself fall through... but no, that way lay madness. He had to fight, to avenge Sirius, to help Harry. He could do what he liked once the war was over, but for now, he had to stay strong. Standing up, Remus prepared to leave. The veil swung to and fro, seeming to blow in an imaginary breeze. Standing this close to the veil, the whispers of the dead seemed very loud, and Remus could have sworn that he could distinguish Sirius's in amongst them. He lifted one hand just reaching out couldn't hurt could it? Just to see what it would be like And, bracing himself against the side of the archway, put his hand into the emptiness beyond, the emptiness that had taken Sirius away from him.

For a moment, there was nothing. Although he couldn't see his own hand, he could still feel it, which he took as a good sign that it was still there. He reached in further, feeling a little stupid and was about to withdraw his arm when he felt a hand grasp his own. With a gasp of shock, Remus took a step back, taking the hand with him. As his own hand came into view, he saw that there was another hand holding on to it. With a surge of strength born from growing hope, Remus held on for all he was worth and pulled, until the arm that the hand was attached to emerged from the archway. Here, Remus was forced to stop and take a rest –the veil seemed reluctant to give back what it had taken, and Remus was not going to let it keep Sirius, although he kept a firm hold on the hope that threatened to overpower him, in case this was just a dream, or not Sirius's hand. But he didn't think he was dreaming, the strain in his muscles as he kept pulling seemed too real, and he knew this hand, he knew it too well to forget those fingers. And so Remus kept pulling, until finally the veil gave up, and relinquished its hold. Remus was sent flying backwards and landed in a heap, with Sirius on top of him.

"Sirius!" Remus yelled at the top of his voice, forgetting for a moment that he'd broken into the ministry and he really should keep quiet. "Sirius! Are you ok?" Remus rolled them over, looking at his beloved Sirius's face, whose eyes were worryingly closed. Remus felt a surge of hope as he checked his pulse, his heart was still beating. "Sirius, Sirius, wake up, please"

"R-Remus? Is that you? Oh Merlin, I thought you'd never find me, I was all alone in that-" His words were cut off as Remus kissed him, crying again. Both men held on tight, and they sure as hell were never letting go again.

So, thoughts? Please review :)