As You Like It: Act 2 Scene 3: My Interpretation
Adam: Sir, Sir! Thou art to be killed!
Orlando: Yeah, yeah. I'm hungry.
Adam: Fair and noble Orlando 'tis your dying day if thou dost not act and leave this place.
Orlando: Yes, yes. Do we—what?! Repeat yourself!
Adam: No, though should have been listening.
Orlando: Who is to kill me and how? I need ideas!
Good Fairy: (prances in) (bops Adam on the head) (high voice) Just tell him already!
Bad Fairy: (follows other fairy) (high voice) No don't tell him!
Good Fairy: Tell him, tell him!
Bad Fairy: No don't tell him!
Good Fairy: Yes!
Bad Fairy: No!
Good Fairy: Yes!
Bad Fairy: No!
Orlando: Oh stop it!
Adam: Monotonous isn't it?
Orlando: You!
(Fairies leave)
Adam: Thou must retreat to yonder forest.
Orlando: Um…hark…(confused) to the forest?
Adam: Yes the forest. (mutters) You twit.
Orlando: (mutters) I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. (louder) Come Robin to the forest!
Adam: A few problems with that statement. One, my name is not Robin. Two, there was a reason why I said 'Thou…must…retreat…to…yonder…forest.' And three (mumbles) I'm allergic to trees.
Orlando: Trees, trees? (laughing) You're allergic to trees?
Adam: It's better than having a price on ones head.
Orlando: I have a price on my head? I thought I was to be killed.
Adam: Yes! If thee had a price on your fair head, thou are certainly to be killed!
Orlando: Then I guess I'll have to go to the forest then…
Adam: (mutters) Finally the bleedin' twit gets it. (to Orlando) Yes, I think you should.
Orlando: (brightly) Okay! Even if you are allergic to trees, will you go with me?
Adam: (turns from Orlando) (thinking aloud) Yes? No? Yes? No? (turns to Orlando) yes, I'll go to the forest with you.
Orlando: Okay then, let us be off! (turns as if to go into the forest)
Adam: Wait, wait! Let us hide all evidence of our departure, let us burn down the house.
Orlando: Okay! (out pops matches) (sets house on fire) Ooh Purty!
Adam: Okay, okay let's go before someone comes to investigate all this smoke.
Orlando: (starts to leave with Adam: Ya know, I'm still hungry…
ATTENTION: This is a parody written by my good friend, LadyLioness, and I for school. The real scene is not like this…believe me, it isn't.