This is my second attempt at writing. My take on what Jackson thinks about Cristina
Disclaimer: Everything related to Grey's Anatomy belongs to the show and ABC. Only thing belonging to me is the idea of this one shot. Enjoy and thanks for taking time to read..
What He's Thinking
She's not like any other female I've ever met. At times, I find her to be an enigma, a difficult puzzle to figure out. Just when I think I finally grasp and comprehend her or so I think I've solved the puzzle that is Cristina Yang, she reveals a new side, a new intriguing piece to the puzzle and I have to start my evaluation all over yet again. Often more times than not, she's frustrating and bullheaded and thinks she is right about everything and should never be questioned but she's allowed to question others and their reasoning and logic, is it a God complex of a talented surgeon? Could be but that's something we all share in wanting to achieve greatness as doctors and healers. She has a confidence about her that challenges me in so many ways, daring me to keep up or prove I'm just as good as or even better than she thinks she is. She's not afraid to let her opinions be known or shows remorse when she's being insinuative which is most of the time. She is alluring but becomes truly irresistible on those rare occasions she's caught off guard and genuinely smiles or giggles in delight. It is obvious she is highly intelligent and brilliant in all of her ambitions and aspirations to be the best damn cardio surgeon there is. When it comes to saving lives she is hardcore and a badass that isn't afraid to take risks and do what she thinks needs to be done even when a superior has directly told her not to. There is energy and such an enthusiasm about her that you feed off of and it inspires you and others to want to be better and achieve miraculous feats. Believe it or not but beneath all that tough and complicated interior is a person of humanity and real compassion toward others that you have to be real quick to see. She is truly unlike anyone I have ever known before.
Let's face it, I have met many women, flirted with most if not all of them but beyond that only a few meetings advanced further into something more that was satisfying for both of us (what? you think I was a player, a male whore, I would wager promiscuous even crossed your mind when thinking of me and relationships with the opposite sex. You don't really know me well enough to make such assumptions, now do you?). What is it about this one woman that has me captivated and not only that but enthralled with her? She's a fascination that's hard to dismiss. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend for goodness's sake. Meaning she's somebody else's and is off limits, automatically this should mean all thoughts of being infatuated and smitten by her must be contained and destroyed before getting out of hand and I find myself in more pain and misery then should be conceivable. I've never been the type of person to covet what's someone else's especially another man's girlfriend or even wife, but I can't stop myself from wanting her. What do I do? How do I force myself and gain self control back to stop wanting her or stop myself from thinking about her or stop having erotic dreams and fantasies of her (which intensified after the one kiss we shared, one kiss was all it took to ignite a spark into a blazing flame of desire for her) and imaging the two of us together or stop wanting to talk to her, to be close and intimate with her? It's becoming increasingly harder not to try and comfort her or wrap her in a protective hug when I sense she is vulnerable and needing someone to reassure her that everything will be ok or when I see the confusion and hurt she tries to hide when she observes Dr. Hunt and Dr. Altman together and they are laughing or talking about something that is privy only to them. What do I do when she won't let me in, won't allow me to get to close? I guess I only can do what I've been doing and that's continue to just observe and take everything in but mostly watch and wait, keep waiting for the chance and the opportunity when the moment arrives she finally stops ignoring me and acknowledges what I've seen for awhile now, that the two of us together would be remarkable and amazing.