A/N: Alas, a new ff- but this one is a collection of oneshot fanfics of fanfics :O

Abyss: Me & my friends came up with this at school, so part of the credit goes to Jax (jakethedog), Ash (QueenOfAshes), and Falcon (who doesn't have a ff :/)
...
And Tawny really had nothing to do with this chapter XD

Tawny: HEY! Just 'cause it's true doesn't mean you have to announce it... Dx

Disclaimer: Neither AbyssQueen nor Tawnyshine nor our collective account TheTawnyColoredAbyssOfDoom own Death Note or it's characters, nor Subtract, Add, Unite, and Conquer or Miss Bright's OC Allie!
Thank you, Miss Bright, for giving us permission to post this

Original Passage From: Subtract, Add, Unite, and Conquer by Miss Bright, chapter 8; "Ride From a Stranger"
Fandom: Death Note
Summary Of What The Fuck Is Going On: (Original;) It was raining. Allie just attempted to steal Mello's motorcycle. Mello didn't like that. Mello strangled Allie until she passed out. Matt made Mello bring Allie inside so she didn't catch a cold or worse. Now they're taking her home. The story turns out to be MelloxAllie. (Changed;) Pre-scar, not post. Because this just wouldn't work post-scar.
POV: 1st- Allie
Title: Are YOU A Pretty Girl, Mello?

I was literally twiddling my thumbs as I sat stiffly in the front next to the redhead, who was driving through the rain at breakneck speed. My heart was in my throat. How he could see anything while wearing those goggles was a mystery to me. I had wanted to sit in the back but...

"I call shotgun," Mello had demanded, only to be waved off by his friend.

"The pretty girl gets to sit with me. Are you a pretty girl, Mello?"

Mello deadpanned. "..."

"Well I think she's pretty!"

Matt cracked up, but I didn't understand why.

"I'm a guy!" Mello roared indignantly, and I could practically see the steam rising out of his ears.

"Ohhhhhh Well that explains a lot! I thought I was turning lesbo :)"

The leather-clad blond man was now seething quietly in the backseat.

"So," Matt suddenly turned to me, as if nothing unusual had happened, "Mello said you live by LAC High?"

I couldn't help myself. "Yes! But eyes on the road," I cried, pointing at the windshield. I closed my eyes, shutting out the view of the blurring road.

I felt his warm breath on my left ear. "You're in no position to tell me how to drive. After all, you accepted a ride from a stranger," Matt whispered.

Mello chuckled from the back. "And candy," he added.

I opened my eyes and shot them both looks of suspicion. "What...?" was all I could manage.

"Relax, we're only teasing," Mello muttered. "Do you want more, by the way?" I checked the rear view mirror. Sure enough, he was holding another bar of chocolate.

I didn't reply.

A/N:

Abyss: Not hilarious, I know, but I hope I got a chuckle out of you guys X3