Dilandau has a morbid fear of rabbits
Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne, please don't sue me. I swear that I'm not getting paid. And I got the idea for stupid song I have in here from my friend from a Buffy special. I only own my pitiful writing, since this is my first fic.
Chapter 1
Dilandau walked casually about the floating fortress looking for something to do. He usually checked up on his dragonslayers asking if they needed help with training or something but today they weren't training… they gathered around Chesta's bunk.
'That's odd,' Dilandau thought. 'I thought I told them not to have their lazy butts in bed today. What could be so interesting that they would risk being punished?'
Gatti turned around and saw the confused Dilandau then he turned white. "uh oh. Uuhhh… Guys." He said when he turned to the others.
"What is going on here!" Dilandau yelled at his dragon slayers, "What the hell could you lazy maggots be….. Ahhhh!" Dilandau gasped when there, right in the middle of the group was a bunny.
"Uhhhh… Dilandau-sama, it isn't what you thi-"
"Oh my god, it's a b-b-b-bunny!" Dilandau yelled interrupting Chesta. Dilandau ran behind a bed and started screaming his head off, "Noooo!! Help me! Get the fucking asshole rabbit away from me! Where is my flamethrower, Migel, you idiot! I need my fuckin' flamethrower!" Dilandau then looked at the bunny accusingly, like it had just saved Van's life or something, and said, "You will die. Burrnnnn! Buurrrnnnn!! Buuurrrnnnnnn!!!" Then he started to laugh maniacally.
"Damn, Dilandau-sama, don't you think you're overacting? It's just a poor defenseless bunny," said Gimel with a smirk starting to appear on his face.
"Shut up, you will be punished," Dilandau started to sort of whimper, "I don't like bunnies."
"Oooohhh. Dilandau is afraid of Mr. Bunny-kins," Chesta started out and started walking over to Dilandau with the bunny in his arms, "Would you like to see the bunny I got for my birthday, Dilandau-sama?" Chesta said –Sama tauntingly.
"Ahhhh!!!" screamed Dilandau and tried to slap away the bunny but Chesta pulled it away before he could hit the poor bunny.
Suddenly all the dragonslayers burst out with laughter. And started to take advantage of Dilandau's state, which was him looking at the bunny like it was dangerous and it would try to attack him at any time, by taunting and teasing him saying things like, "Dilly-boy is afraid of a cu-u-te bunny! Ha!" and, "I knew he had to be afraid of something… but a bunny… HA HA HA!!"
"I will get you all for this someday," said Dilandau still glaring at the bunny.
Gatti took a second to stop laughing and ask a question, "Uhhh… Dilandau-sama why are you afraid of Bunnies?"
Dilandau turned his glare to Gatti and said annoyed, "I don't know. Why don't you tell me!"
Then unexpectantly Folken came in and told Dilandau to calm down and to get off of the floor. The Dragonslayers quickly stood up in a straight line with their backs straight. "What is going on here, Dilandau?"
Dilandau looked extremely mad and said, "It's the damn bunny, tell me why I am afraid of it Folken!"
Folken cast his eyes down as if he were thinking, "It could be that your past life, Cerena, was scared of bunnies…" That earned a couple of snickers from the dragonslayers.
"What," hounded Dilandau, "Cerena has nothing to do with this, in fact, there is no Cerena! So why don't you just shut up!"
Folken narrowed his eyes in an understanding way, "Dilandau, you just have to face the truth and reality because Cerena is real, so get over it."
Dilandau just gritted his teeth and clenched his fists then 'grrrr'ed.
"Although, Dilandau, you're in luck. I have the perfect spell to get rid of rabittophobia, but it has to be sung. I'll just summon the sorcerers right away." Folken closed his eyes for a second then said the sorcerers are on their way.
Dilandau grrred again then said, "What's happening, what is this, rabittophobia, a spell that has to be sung, what!?"
The sorcerers entered the room swiftly then got in a straight line behind Folken.
"Ready guys?" asked Folken.
They nodded their heads then Folken yelled out, "1,2,3,4!"
Then the sorcerers sang in chorus, "It Must Be Bunnies!"
Then Folken, "With their twitchy little noses, and their fuzzy little tails."
"It Must Be Bunnies!"
"With their pointy, long ears, and their floppy biggish feet."
"It Must Be Bunnies!"
"With Those biggish bunny teeth, and the carrots that they eat."
"It Must Be Bunnies!"
"I am not afraid of them, neither are you!"
"I Guess It Can't Be Bunnies!"
Then the sorcerers bowed their heads and stepped back into the shadows, then quickly left.
Folken cleared his throat and brought the bunny to Dilandau and asked, "How do you feel around the bunny, Dilandau." You could almost swear Folken was curving his lips up in a smile.
"I… I don't feel anything," confessed Dilandau. Then he grinned evilly and turned to his dragonslayers then laughed maniacally. "I warned you. You all will be punished."
You could hear them all gulp and start to sweat with looks on their faces like they were going to die.
Once again, Dilandau laughed crazily then put a finger to his chin, "Let's see… What would be the perfect punishment for you all…" I didn't seem possible but Dilandau's evil grin grew bigger, and so did the scared look on the dragonslayers.
Folken decided that it was his time to leave, "Very well then, I'll see you all later… or, maybe… I'll see you later Dilandau." Folken swiftly left the dragonslayers to their doom… er… punishment.
Dilandau quickly jerked his evil eyes at the bunny and got an idea. Yeah… That would be perfect. He went to his quarters and fetched his flamethrower and went back to the dragonslayers quarters then snatched the bunny up. Walking out the door he signaled his dragonslayers to follow, he went outside then behind a big, fat tree.
~_~_~_~_~
Well anyway the dragonslayers followed and you could hear a sword unsheathe and… well, you know. Have you ever heard a bunny scream before? I guess it would sound horrible. (AN: I'm an idiot. 0.o I'm also not going into the detail how the bunny go tortured to death by Dilandau. *Gag* Ew.) Anyway, you could hear the dragonslayers saying things like, "That's just sick, I think I'm gonna puke!" and, "Disgusting, what's that smell!" and of course from Dilandau, "Die! Burn! You will die!!! I hope you all learn to respect your commander from this, you lazy bastards!"
In the distance, back in the fortress, Folken could hear a scream. It was from… Chesta!? He screamed in anguish like a loved one died then yelled out, "Noooooo!!!! Mr. Bunny-kins!!!" 'How embarrassing,' thought Folken.
The end
~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~
AN: do you think I should do a side story on how Cerena is afraid of bunnies, it will be short, but it will be a story. You'll just have to review and tell me.^_^ Don't be too hard on me, this is my first fic. And please don't tell me how bad it is cuz I already know.-_- Sorry, in this fic the characters are a little OOC. Ok then, please R&R but be nice, bye!
Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne, please don't sue me. I swear that I'm not getting paid. And I got the idea for stupid song I have in here from my friend from a Buffy special. I only own my pitiful writing, since this is my first fic.
Chapter 1
Dilandau walked casually about the floating fortress looking for something to do. He usually checked up on his dragonslayers asking if they needed help with training or something but today they weren't training… they gathered around Chesta's bunk.
'That's odd,' Dilandau thought. 'I thought I told them not to have their lazy butts in bed today. What could be so interesting that they would risk being punished?'
Gatti turned around and saw the confused Dilandau then he turned white. "uh oh. Uuhhh… Guys." He said when he turned to the others.
"What is going on here!" Dilandau yelled at his dragon slayers, "What the hell could you lazy maggots be….. Ahhhh!" Dilandau gasped when there, right in the middle of the group was a bunny.
"Uhhhh… Dilandau-sama, it isn't what you thi-"
"Oh my god, it's a b-b-b-bunny!" Dilandau yelled interrupting Chesta. Dilandau ran behind a bed and started screaming his head off, "Noooo!! Help me! Get the fucking asshole rabbit away from me! Where is my flamethrower, Migel, you idiot! I need my fuckin' flamethrower!" Dilandau then looked at the bunny accusingly, like it had just saved Van's life or something, and said, "You will die. Burrnnnn! Buurrrnnnn!! Buuurrrnnnnnn!!!" Then he started to laugh maniacally.
"Damn, Dilandau-sama, don't you think you're overacting? It's just a poor defenseless bunny," said Gimel with a smirk starting to appear on his face.
"Shut up, you will be punished," Dilandau started to sort of whimper, "I don't like bunnies."
"Oooohhh. Dilandau is afraid of Mr. Bunny-kins," Chesta started out and started walking over to Dilandau with the bunny in his arms, "Would you like to see the bunny I got for my birthday, Dilandau-sama?" Chesta said –Sama tauntingly.
"Ahhhh!!!" screamed Dilandau and tried to slap away the bunny but Chesta pulled it away before he could hit the poor bunny.
Suddenly all the dragonslayers burst out with laughter. And started to take advantage of Dilandau's state, which was him looking at the bunny like it was dangerous and it would try to attack him at any time, by taunting and teasing him saying things like, "Dilly-boy is afraid of a cu-u-te bunny! Ha!" and, "I knew he had to be afraid of something… but a bunny… HA HA HA!!"
"I will get you all for this someday," said Dilandau still glaring at the bunny.
Gatti took a second to stop laughing and ask a question, "Uhhh… Dilandau-sama why are you afraid of Bunnies?"
Dilandau turned his glare to Gatti and said annoyed, "I don't know. Why don't you tell me!"
Then unexpectantly Folken came in and told Dilandau to calm down and to get off of the floor. The Dragonslayers quickly stood up in a straight line with their backs straight. "What is going on here, Dilandau?"
Dilandau looked extremely mad and said, "It's the damn bunny, tell me why I am afraid of it Folken!"
Folken cast his eyes down as if he were thinking, "It could be that your past life, Cerena, was scared of bunnies…" That earned a couple of snickers from the dragonslayers.
"What," hounded Dilandau, "Cerena has nothing to do with this, in fact, there is no Cerena! So why don't you just shut up!"
Folken narrowed his eyes in an understanding way, "Dilandau, you just have to face the truth and reality because Cerena is real, so get over it."
Dilandau just gritted his teeth and clenched his fists then 'grrrr'ed.
"Although, Dilandau, you're in luck. I have the perfect spell to get rid of rabittophobia, but it has to be sung. I'll just summon the sorcerers right away." Folken closed his eyes for a second then said the sorcerers are on their way.
Dilandau grrred again then said, "What's happening, what is this, rabittophobia, a spell that has to be sung, what!?"
The sorcerers entered the room swiftly then got in a straight line behind Folken.
"Ready guys?" asked Folken.
They nodded their heads then Folken yelled out, "1,2,3,4!"
Then the sorcerers sang in chorus, "It Must Be Bunnies!"
Then Folken, "With their twitchy little noses, and their fuzzy little tails."
"It Must Be Bunnies!"
"With their pointy, long ears, and their floppy biggish feet."
"It Must Be Bunnies!"
"With Those biggish bunny teeth, and the carrots that they eat."
"It Must Be Bunnies!"
"I am not afraid of them, neither are you!"
"I Guess It Can't Be Bunnies!"
Then the sorcerers bowed their heads and stepped back into the shadows, then quickly left.
Folken cleared his throat and brought the bunny to Dilandau and asked, "How do you feel around the bunny, Dilandau." You could almost swear Folken was curving his lips up in a smile.
"I… I don't feel anything," confessed Dilandau. Then he grinned evilly and turned to his dragonslayers then laughed maniacally. "I warned you. You all will be punished."
You could hear them all gulp and start to sweat with looks on their faces like they were going to die.
Once again, Dilandau laughed crazily then put a finger to his chin, "Let's see… What would be the perfect punishment for you all…" I didn't seem possible but Dilandau's evil grin grew bigger, and so did the scared look on the dragonslayers.
Folken decided that it was his time to leave, "Very well then, I'll see you all later… or, maybe… I'll see you later Dilandau." Folken swiftly left the dragonslayers to their doom… er… punishment.
Dilandau quickly jerked his evil eyes at the bunny and got an idea. Yeah… That would be perfect. He went to his quarters and fetched his flamethrower and went back to the dragonslayers quarters then snatched the bunny up. Walking out the door he signaled his dragonslayers to follow, he went outside then behind a big, fat tree.
~_~_~_~_~
Well anyway the dragonslayers followed and you could hear a sword unsheathe and… well, you know. Have you ever heard a bunny scream before? I guess it would sound horrible. (AN: I'm an idiot. 0.o I'm also not going into the detail how the bunny go tortured to death by Dilandau. *Gag* Ew.) Anyway, you could hear the dragonslayers saying things like, "That's just sick, I think I'm gonna puke!" and, "Disgusting, what's that smell!" and of course from Dilandau, "Die! Burn! You will die!!! I hope you all learn to respect your commander from this, you lazy bastards!"
In the distance, back in the fortress, Folken could hear a scream. It was from… Chesta!? He screamed in anguish like a loved one died then yelled out, "Noooooo!!!! Mr. Bunny-kins!!!" 'How embarrassing,' thought Folken.
The end
~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~
AN: do you think I should do a side story on how Cerena is afraid of bunnies, it will be short, but it will be a story. You'll just have to review and tell me.^_^ Don't be too hard on me, this is my first fic. And please don't tell me how bad it is cuz I already know.-_- Sorry, in this fic the characters are a little OOC. Ok then, please R&R but be nice, bye!