First castle fic, wrote others but i lost inspiration for my other stories do to my poor time management skills, anyway i own nothing so please enjoy
He's standing there, unable to truly comprehend what he had just done, had he really just proposed to one Katherine Beckett, what in hell was he thinking, for crying out loud, why would she want to marry him. I mean, he's failed at marriage before.
Meredith his first wife, ended with him getting Alexis, a little girl whom he wasn't ready for, however thinking back now Alexis probably saved his life more than he could count, she was the ray of sunshine in his dark world.
Then came Gina, she was well, she was a means to an end if he really thought about it, he was lonely needed someone of his age group to talk to, and well he had needs that needed some attention, but most of all he wanted his baby girl to have a mother figure around, yes he had his mother, but she really wasn't the best example of a woman and well he thought Gina steadfastness and drive would be better for Alexis's growth, but if again he was to be honest with himself he never truly loved either of them.
Then Bam!, there she was, probably one of the most stunning women he'd ever seen in his life, beauty couldn't truly do the woman in front of him justice, she was a god sent. When they first met, he was an egotistical jackass with a heart of gold "cough…. cough" and she was a smart, sexy as hell detective who took no prisoners, well she did take prisoners, it was kind of her job but…. Ah you know what he means. She was unlike any woman he'd ever met, she was far to smart to be considered yet even alone be apart of the women he'd associated with in the past.
She hated his guts, though he new she had a secret little thing for him, even though she'd never admit it. She didn't fall for his charms and she rarely took his shit so to speak, she called him out when ever she had too, god she was a feisty little minx who he wanted to taste so badly. He really couldn't put a time or place to when his lust turned into to pure affection, and then to what had to be the truest sense of love, maybe it was when she told him about her mother or it could even be before, he just new he had loved her for a very long time, It took them four years, a lot of heartbreak and some pretty awesome getting together love making for them to finally become an item, yet here he is now holding out a ring in front of the same women who was most likely leaving him for a job opportunity which again if he was being honest, it was damn good opportunity for her to show the world what she's made of. Deep down he's insanely proud of her to have come so far, happy that she's getting the recognition she so rightfully deserved, however he had a right to be angry, she kept it from him, she lied about it, though after talking with his mother he realized he was mostly to blame for where their relationship was heading, he was to afraid to push for more, to scared that if he'd asked for more she'd run, and well now she's running but maybe, it's due to him not pushing at all.
"Rick," she finally spoke, staring intensely at the beautiful three diamond gem in front of her.
"Kate, don't I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea on my part," he chuckled weakly, saying those words almost broke his heart in two, but it was for the best.
"Rick," she said again, this time more weakly, but he really couldn't handle it so he cut her off
"I'm sorry Kate, I put such an unbelievable burden on your shoulders for the past, 5 years, I'm so sorry and I'm happy for you, you'll do great in DC," he finished, tears freely running down his cheeks, yet he could careless about that, he was losing probably the only other best thing in his life beside Alexis and his Mother.
Bending slightly, he reached her cheek and laid one last kiss for prosperity, before walking away. He hadn't made it that far when he felt an annoying pull in his chest, feeling almost numb, and his mouth losing sensation.
It was only until he heard Kate cry out his name, did he realize he was on the ground. He barely was able to comprehend the situation. He could feel something dark and ominous close by, pulling him to what felt like sleep. After his many years as a writer he knew whenever something like this took place, it meant either death or well long sleep, in this case it felt like neither, it actually felt worse. He could feel the nag of his eyes telling him to close them, rest they whispered soundly, it was so hard to resist.
However in the end he couldn't hold out and the dark cold abyss of slumber final overpowered his overactive brain. He was gone…
Kate stood there, not sure of what just happened but, Rick Castle, the man she loved fiercely, had just proposed. It felt like hours but it was only seconds, yet she couldn't speak. She so badly wanted to answer him but something held her back. She started to contemplate whether or not if it was a good Idea, getting married when they still had so much to work through, plus he'd been married before, twice, was he really up for a third or was it his fair of losing her to another city, another job or another life that brought on this, this gesture towards a future with her, or had he planned this all along.
All the thoughts running through head, she failed to realize, that Rick had stood up, dusted himself off and put the ring away.
"Rick," she muttered, that was all she was able to say, nothing else wanted to come out, she so badly wanted to speak but still nothing , no words, no other syllables graced her with there presence.
"Kate, don't, I'm sorry this was a stupid idea on my part," he chuckled, that did it she felt her tears coming, she new when he chuckled like that, he was hurting, and she was the cause of it, she couldn't answer, and now he mostly likely took her silence as goodbye, however that being said, 'goodbye' was the furthest from her mind.
"Rick," she managed to cry out, weakly and full of need, need for him to understand, she loves him, God does she love him, never has she felt this way about anyone, yet again he speaks.
"I'm sorry Kate, I put such an unbelievable burden on your shoulders for the past, 5 years, I'm so sorry and I'm happy for you, you'll do great in DC," he said, that immediately got her thinking, burden, Richard Castle was not a Burden, well maybe at the beginning, but he definitely wasn't one now, he was the sweetest most loyal man she'd ever met, so much so, that the reason she fell for him in the first place was when she saw him with his daughter, Richard Castle, Billionaire playboy, was what he was known as yet, when she saw him playing laser tag with Alexis, she knew then and there that he was completelu different, that was the stepping stone to where they are now, or where they were.
However she can see the heartbreak written all over his face, she felt it more when he kissed her cheek and then walked away from the swing set in the park. He didn't make it far when she saw him collapse. Instantaneously she felt her body move towards him, tears cascading her face, she hadn't realize she was crying until she saw the droplets hit his face, he wasn't breathing, there was barely a pulse. She felt her sob wrack her body.
"Rick, please open yours, come on stay with me," she pleaded, "Someone please call an Ambulance," she yelled to people in the park, a little old couple were the first people to react, the husband dialing 911 and the his wife bending down to touch her back and reassuring her that everything was gonna be okay, but she didn't believe, here was the man she loved, barely alive, laying in her arms. If she was afraid of losing him before, she is damn as hell mortified now.
After a few minutes the paramedics came and took him, if wasn't for the older couple snapping her back to reality she wouldn't have made it to his side on the gurney to the hospital.
Rick was completely out of it, one minute he was in the park next minute he in a white room, hooked up to a heart monitor, feeling like an elephant had just done the Irish jig on his chest. Sitting up slight to take in his surrounding he came to the conclusion that he was in fact laying on a hospital bed. How he got here, he had yet to figure out.
Looking to his left, he'd finally notice the sleeping figure, laying her beautiful brown head close to his arm. He instantly knew it was Kate, but why, wasn't she going to DC. Upon moving his hand slight trying not to wake her, he did in fact wake her.
"Rick," she said sleepily, it wasn't until she processed where she was, did she snap back into what he though was Katherine Beckett's reality.
"Rick," she called more forcefully, tears welling up in her beautiful pair of hazel greenish eyes, throwing herself on him, grasping him in what felt like the biggest bear hug he'd ever been presented with.
"Kate, cant breathe," he muttered, feeling somewhat uncomfortable in comfortable way, that really made no sense to him, but eh if she was hugging him like this while tears marched down her face, he knew something terrible must have happened, well that and him being hospital also drew that conclusion.
She immediately pulled herself off him, and started rambling, asking him if he's okay, if he needed water, if he still loved her, okay that last one was kinda random.
"Kate," he cut her off, "I'm fine, for the most part, though it's a bit fuzzy, how did I get here, what happened, all I remember was leaving."
"Well you had a heart attack castle," she said "Rick I'm so sorry, all this," she pointed to the room, "Is my fault; I caused you so much pain you had a firkin heart attack and it's my fault." Tears freely flowing from her eyes as she looked down to the floor, again he hated to see her cry, it was one reason why he took back his proposal.
"Kate, it's not your fault that I'm here, plus I'd never blame you for something's like this, though it just gave me an idea for the new book," he joked lightly, hoping to get a smile from the now clearly distraught Beckett.
"I love you Rick, I really, really, really do, god it's uncanny how much I love you, however, I got the job and I want to take it, but I also want you, I know it's selfish of me and I know saying this here in a hospital is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but, you have to know Rick," she paused, raising her head to look him in the eyes, tears were clearly pooling in them, she wasn't sure if it was a good thing, but she had to do this he needed to know.
"Rick I want to marry you, whether it be today, tomorrow, next year, I want to marry you, bear your children, grow old together, I couldn't answer you earlier cause I was shocked, here I thought that the man of my dreams was breaking up with me when in fact it probably the furthest from the truth." She said grabbing his hands and leaning in a bit closer.
"I love you and I want to be with you, but I also want this opportunity," looking at him more intensely, " so please allow me to be selfish one more time Rick, just one more time, allow me to have both and I promise to make it work."
He couldn't stand it anymore, no matter the pain he was feeling he grabbed her head and smashed the lips together, kissing her till it bruised her but she wasn't complaining she kissed him back with just as much vigor, both reveling in the feel of each lips and tongue, fighting for dominance. It literally felt like hours before the stopped, Rick ending it when he screamed bloody murder, as he found himself in a position where is fragile chest could no longer withstand the pain.
This instantly brought on panicked Expression on Kate's face, to which he clamed if only a little by saying he was alright.
He looked at her and for what felt like the first smile he'd actually cracked since this whole ordeal.
"Clearly Mrs. Beckett we have a lot to discuss if where gonna make this thing work, plus I meant what I said when I told you what ever you choose, I want to marry you not because I want to keep you here or because I'm afraid to lose you but, because I can barely imagine a life without, and I say barely because I have imagined it and trust me it's not worth living, as you can clearly see, I almost made that a reality," he chuckled after his rant. He new bringing that up wasn't the best thing to do, especially when it instantly brought back her worry.
Before she could respond both the doctor and his burse came in to check on him, the spent the next 10 minutes in silence until the doctor gave them the much needed good news, it seems his heart attack didn't leave him with much damage however he was to take it easy for six weeks and no strenuous activities. After they left Kate resumed her intense staring at her lover.
She finally got up the courage to ask, "So does this mean you still wanna marry me?"
"Yes Kate, I'll always wanna marry you," he instantly responded, and she kissed him again, with less gusto of course, but with a lot more passion.
Pulling from the kiss he smiled at her again and raised his hand to wipe he tears
"Your gonna do great Kate, the FBI's gonna be lucky to have you,"
"And I'm lucky to have you," she whispered laying her head lightly to his chest to make sure his heart was still beating and that she wasn't dreaming this was happening.
After that they both nodded of to sleep with smiles as bright as the sun on their faces.
Hoped you enjoyed plz review :) if it good i may do another