Put Him To Rest
Disclaimer: None mine, all hers (points at J.K. Rowling) don't sue, I'm broke.
This is slash, if you want to flame go ahead because with such a blatant warning in the summary I'll know you're just closet homosexuals in deep self denial.
"You can't do this Harry!" I pleaded as I trailed behind my determined best friend. "I know you miss him, but you can't manipulate time for your selfish use." Harry stopped walking, turned and stared me in the face " He shouldn't have died Hermione. He didn't deserve to. And now that I have the opportunity to change that, I'm not gonna pass it up" He started walking again. " Look Harry," I said as I chased after him, " I loved Draco too. He was a dear friend. But he gave his life for a worthy cause." Harry continued walking. " Harry Potter! Stop walking and LISTEN to me!!"
His steps faltered, then stopped. He sighed deeply then turned and faced me. " Look Hermione, I know you think that ………." " How can you possibly know what I think when you won't even listen to me?" I threw my hands up in the air. " Look Harry, as much as you miss him, you can't do this. Ok, so you have found a way to change that one event, without having to relive the past five years but look at all the consequences. You of all people Harry, should know that even magical means don't allow us to escape the consequences of our actions."
Harry lowered his head and I pressed on, " Harry, if you change one event in the past, you might, no you will be changing so many in the future. If you allow Draco to live, you'll be allowing so many other things to happen and they're not gonna all be good. How many people will die if Draco lives Harry. I mean, who even knows? Will I be alive if Draco lives? Will you? You could be cutting a lot of other people's lives short and that's not fair. You can't do this Harry, you can't be selfish."
Apparently I had hit a nerve. Harry's head snapped up and his green eyes flashed angry fire. "I can't be selfish?? Why not?? All my life I've considered other people's feelings, I've been selfless, helpful and all that good crap. So why don't I get the opportunity to be selfish for once in my life? Everyone else does and that's not fair. I want my one chance to be selfish and this is it. Do you have any idea of the amount of pain I feel? It's like someone reached in and ripped my heart out of my chest and every time I realize that he's gone, my heart's stomped on a little bit more and that's not fair!"
I was a bit taken back at the explosion but I should have realized that it was a long time forthcoming. I went up to him and hugged him as ne broke down in my arms. " You're right Harry, it's not fair. You've always been given the short end of the stick (A.N. for any who don't now that just means that someone has always been put in a bad situation.). You've lost a lot more loved ones than anyone should have to. And the responsibility of the wizarding world was placed upon your shoulders at a very young age, but you managed." I lifted his chin and looked into his eyes, moved to tears myself, " Harry, you are selfless and helpful and all that 'good crap' as you so eloquently put it. It's in your blood. And you're right, you should have your opportunity to be selfish but the world isn't fair and you learned that along time ago. And I know that deep down you know it's not your calling to be selfish but right now, your grief is overshadowing your logic and that's ok because even though you are a great person you're only human." "Then how do I deal with it Herm? It hurts a lot." He looked like a little boy again as he said this and it reminded me of all those time he asked me a question and expected me to give the right answer and I didn't want to screw this one up, so I gathered him tight and said, " the best thing I know to do is to grieve and then move on. It will never be ok that he's gone Harry, but I promise it will get better." He seemed to accept it and wrapped his arms around me.
We stayed there like that for a while, out there in the middle of some lonely field, mending our hearts as we cried together; grieving for all that had been lost. Later as we walked back home he spoke " Thanks Herm, what would I do without you." "We need each other," I replied, "we've got to pick up the pieces and build back our lives as best as we can." He nodded and continued to walk. " You know what, Herm, I think it's getting better, I think I've finally put him to rest."