AN- I know I've got a million other things I should be doing, but after a dream I had the other night (I was Holly Short- it was way cool) this idea kept bugging me. It's kind of based on a load of letters I've seen people doing in the papers and stuff, where they write to their sixteen year old selves...of course, here, it's the fairy equivalent of between 16-20 years old (I just chose the title because I'm in a P!nk mood at the moment). Hope you like it :)

Dear Holly,

Well, this feels odd. I'd like to start by pointing out that this was all Trouble's, I mean, the Commander's idea. But you won't know him by that name yet. It's him, the one who has appeared in your dreams and your nightmares: the Kelp boy; quiet and politely arrogant, I know exactly how you feel about him and, believe me, it won't change.

I shouldn't have written that. You see, he wants us all to write these letters to our past selves, to get "in touch with our emotional cores". Why I've agreed to marry him, I'm not sure.

And there's another surprise you never expect to happen: you're going to be married. Somebody loves you, the you who has cut her hair so short that her aunts recoil in horror, and the you who has just spent her first week of Police Academy reading feverishly at the lunch table, trying to ignore the jibes of Chix Verbal and his cronies.

Oh, and by the way, here's a little insider info for ya: despite his decades of ruthless womanising, in several years time Chix Verbil reveals himself to be the sort of sprite who prefers a night in with nettle tea and The Vicar of Dibley on DVD. If you know what I mean.

You know you'll be fine at the Academy (more than fine if you're honest), and finally ascending to LEPRecon proves to be one of your proudest moments. Even the Artemis Fowl Incident turns out for the better...eventually. But whatever you do, don't shoot Julius; the sight will replay in your mind of your shooting the closest fairy you find to a father until it drives you insane, that is, if Foaly doesn't first, what with all the comments about the baby and all.

The baby.

Why did I write that? This is an 'Official LEP Document'!! Although it's not like they won't find out. In fact it's one of the reasons you'll get married. It should turn out fine though.

At least I hope so. I'm a bit nervous, which I'm sure you will believe. This is the only thing that will ever truly faze you, but in all honesty I think it does everyone. Even Lili Frond, if the Sool story is to be believed.

Well I definitely can't submit this now, so I'll stop writing here. Good luck in everything, not that you think you need it., and stick to your instincts- they're (nearly) always right.

Love,

Holly

P.S. Look out for trolls.

P.P.S. And Butler.