AN: Can also check this out on my blog (link on profile). I have posted this POV in the honour of winning a Hidden Star Award. Thank you for all those people who nominated and voted for me. This one-shot is for you. I know, I know. Some of you are like, what about a new chap. I would love to give you a new chap but the thing is... there is no new chap. I haven't written it yet. And RPOV was written a while back. I think at the same time as JPOV. Anyway, just be paitent and in the mean time enjoy Rose's POV. RPOV hasn't been beta'd therefore there might be spelling/grammar mistakes.
When I first read twilight I always had Julie Gonzalo in my head. She fits with the whole mean, beautiful popular chick. I know she might not be the most beautiful girl in the world (Rosalie is like a model) but I always pictured Julie in my story. Anyway in I Want You To Want Me I picture Julie.
I have written a RPOV for the story I Want You To Want Me...
Cheerleading practice.
While everyone else has left school to go to the mall, ice cream parlour, watching tv, but mostly… having fun.
However I'm here. On the school football field in my red and gold cheerleading uniform with red and gold pom poms in my hands and my hair in pig tails. I'm here, being degraded as the ditzy cheerleader. But what else could I do.
"Okay! From the start!" Yelled Miss Cocker through the mega phone.
I was looking down at the green grass. I let out a heavy breath as I mentally prepared myself for Cheerleading Rosalie.
I shot my head up and plastered the fake ditzy smile, leaning my head slightly to the right with my hand on my hip.
"Heads up, chests out, big smiles girls. Ready? Okay!" I heard Tanya's cheering in the front row. Alice was on my left and Victoria was out on the far right.
All I could think was getting me the hell out of here, but I never let it show on my face as I kept smiling. I let out a breath and started to cheer.
"Our defence is dazzling, our offence hot stuff! We're the mighty Spartans and we're tough, tough, tough! Sugar-n-cream, what's the matter with the other team? Nothing at all, they just can't play football! Time is ticking off the clock, give it all you've got! Goooo Spartans!" I yelled with my cheesy smile with as much enthusiasm as I could as I remembered my steps.
5, 6, 7, 8. Clap. Clap. Pause. Smile. Shake pom, poms in the air. Spin. Clap. Hands on hip and split. Smile. Smile. Smile.
We were all frozen in our spots with our dazzling smile trying to catch our breath.
"Okay that's a wrap up. Go home!" Miss Cocker.
Thank God.
I stood up and started flattening my uniform. I looked up to look for Victoria. She was my ride home.
Victoria was there talking to Miss Cocker on the bleaches. I started to head up the steps.
"Miss Cocker. I'm clearly the best out of very one! So why does Tanya have to be on the front row. She's not even that good." Victoria huffed.
"Victoria. I'm a very busy woman. If you want to be the one in the front you have to work harder. See you next practice." Miss Cocker brushed Victoria off and headed to the staff parking lot.
"What a major bitch, right Rose?" Victoria snarled as she folded her arms and glared at Miss Cocker.
"Totally. Bitch." I put my ditzy cheerleading voice on. Getting ready to play Mean Rosalie. Getting ready to be Victoria's lap dog.
"I mean you saw me out there. Wasn't I good?" she huffed. I waited. I never actually saw Vicky's performance.
"Yeah you were good." I guessed. Nodding at what ever Victoria said was my first priority.
"What does that mean?" She turned her glare to me. What did I do now?
"It means you were good. I think you were good." I mumbled, scared of Victoria's wrath.
"Just good?" she growled. Crap!
"Victoria. I meant it-" I stuttered.
"Oh yeah. You really meant it… 'Yeah, you were good.' And you took so long to respond, like you had to think about it." God. This always happened.
"Well, at least I thought about it. I didn't just say that you were good without thinking about it. I don't now why you're freaking out. I don't get why you're always trying to be better than Tanya." The moment it left my mouth I regretted every word.
"Excuse me? Are you saying that Tanya is better than me?" she growled.
"No Victoria! I never said that," I begged.
"What? You're just so talented, are you? You think I'm not better than Tanya and I totally am."
"No way. I didn't mean-" I pleaded.
"I would never tell you that you looked fat lately." She stuck up her nose at me.
"I don't look fat!" I shrieked. No. Not again.
"If you say so." Vicky rolled her eyes.
"I've been on a detox diet for three months now. I don't look fat." I defended my self, which was a bad move.
"Are you calling me a liar now?" she snarled. Victoria got her stuff and stormed to the parking lot.
"No. Look Victoria, you're just mad because I said Tanya is better than you, which I didn't!" Please Victoria, don't get angry. I prayed. Victoria opened her car door and glared at me.
"Well how about you find another way home." She smirked as she got in the car and closed the door.
"But it's 5pm on a Friday night! How am I going to get home?" I begged through the open window of her car. Everyone was having fun.
"If you and Tanya are such BFF's why don't you ask her a ride home?" she huffed, reverses out of the car park.
"VICTORIA!" I yelled.
"Bye Fatty!" she yelled and wizzed off. Leaving me in the smoke from the car and the screeching of the tires.
I could feel my tears about to come down until I heard a horn. I looked around to see a yellow porch on the far corner. Alice. I quickly wiped my eyes and jogged to her car.
"Need help?" she sang.
"Thanks." I smiled to her.
Alice was really cool. She might not know this. Hell, no one knows this. But Alice Mary Brandon is my best friend. She's my only true friend. I met Alice on her first day in dance class. She seemed lost. She was really pretty and thin, so I knew Tanya and Victoria would approve. At first I wanted someone to be lower than be in the popular pyramid, but as we got to know each other, I really liked her. She was sweet and nice, sometimes too much for her own good. I kind of think I took Alice under my wing. I'm not like Victoria who bashes others on their flaws. I just tried hiding them from Vic and Tanya. I didn't want them to break her. I didn't want anyone to break her. In a way I saw myself in her.
"I don't know why you hang out with her? She always does this. Bet you tomorrow she won't even say sorry and act if it never happened," Alice huffed.
"Drop it Alice. She's not that bad." I don't know who I was trying to convince me or Alice.
"Rose you know her better than anyone. Can you seriously tell me she's not that bad?" Alice took her eyes of the road and looked at me. She was trying to help.
"Drop it." I growled as I looked out the window. Watching the trees go by.
She wouldn't understand.
We finally made it to my house. Alice pulled up to my driveway. I collect my bag and pom poms. I was about to leave the car, my hand was on the handle.
"Rose." Alice grabbed my shoulder lightly. I turned to look at her. There was only true concern in her eyes.
"You don't have to take it, you know," she whispered. Alice didn't know the truth. I put on a smile to assure Alice I was fine. I'm always fine. Happy Rosalie.
"Bye Alice. See you on Monday." I smiled at her as I got out of the car. I happily waved Alice off and went up my front steps of the Hale Mansion.
I slowly went to the front door of my father's mansion, turned the knob and entered the building. I slowly walked in, my eyes looking on the tile floor as I headed to the stair to my room, until I saw my father on his grand chair reading a book from the library. I stopped in my trail and went toward my father. I was three steps away from him, my hand behind my back.
"Good evening Father." I smiled to him, hoping to get one back. Ideal Daughter Rosalie.
"RJ," he mumbled, not looking from his page. I sighed as I continued my route to my room.
Father never said my name. He hated it. Too girly and feminie. Father always wanted a son. When mother gave birth to me he actually started to curse her and blamed her on cheating. Apparently the Hales never had daughters. They had sons to carry out the business and be their heir. My father, Royce Hale, was the oldest son out of three. No daughters, none of my uncles have daughters either. I'm a shame to the Hale family. After my birth, my father kept trying to get mother pregnant, but failed. My mother had three miscarriages and now she is unfertile. Again, father blamed her.
Maybe that's why he cheated on her. Yes. Three years ago, we found out the father had an affair with one of his clients for five years. However mother and father stayed together to 'work it out'. But that's not the truth.
Three years ago, the Hale family self-destructs when my father's whore, after understanding he would never leave my mother, crashed my mother's birthday party and espoused my father's infidelity. In reaction, my mother wanted divorce from him. However, father couldn't stand the humiliation that it would cause so he threatened my mother. He threatened her to use all of his resources to destroy her life if she leaves him. Take away her cars, houses under her name, the plastic surgery, the drugs, alcohols and he told her he would cut me out of his fortune. Leaving me no option other than attending community college. Mother could not have that.
I never really found comfort from my mother, who had always turned to pills and alcohol to distract her from my father's adultery and crudeness. She has never really been a mother to me. She was more like a… manger. Always, trying to make me look prettier, thinner, smarter, popular and always trying to show off my talents. Always pushing me to be what she couldn't. My father wasn't any different. He was always trying to push me to be the son he never had. He even kept the name he was keeping for the longing son he never will have. Royce Hale. Yes. My full name is… Rosalie Royce Hale. Therefore giving me the name RJ. Royce Junior.
I changed out of my cheerleading out fit and put on my summer dress on. My parents never liked me wearing jeans to dinner. Always dresses. I quickly went downstairs for dinner. Father always had the dinner at 6pm sharp. Once I came to dinner at 6:02 and was sent to my room without dinner. Father said it was for me to respect others time. In the real world no one will wait for me.
As I quickly walked to the dinning room, father and mother were already there. Father at the end of the rectangle table and mother on the other end. Perfect daughter Rosalie. I quietly took my place in the middle, between the two. As I glanced around, my father was patiently waiting for the meal, while my mother was on her forth glass of whisky, swaying in her seat.
Eleanor came through the kitchen door with our plates and placed them in front of us. My mother gave her a nod. my father didn't give a reaction. Nothing new. I however whispered a thank you to her. Father never liked us talking at the dinner table. Disrespectful, he said. So we had to be silent during dinner.
After dinner, we were near fire place. My mother pouring herself another glass, while father and I were reading. I was formally seating on the grand sofa. My feet were together, my back was straight and the book was set on my lap.
"I got a call from Alexander Miller tonight." Father mumbled into his book. Oh no. Victoria's father. Mr. Miller and my father are business partners. Father always finds ways to kiss Mr. Miller's ass.
Yes. That's why I am friends with Victoria. Because my father wants us to be so close that they wouldn't dream about cancelling the partnership. Keeping the Miller's happy is father's main priority, even if it causes me pain.
"Apparently, Victoria came home displeased. Did you have anything to do with it RJ." Father looked up at me. I was shaking in my spot. I cleared my throat.
"It's a misunderstanding, father." I explained to him.
Father closed his book with a snap that made me jump in my seat and sat up from his seat.
"And are you planning on clearing this 'misunderstanding' up, RJ?" he sneered through his teeth.
"Yes father." I dropped my head. Obedient Rosalie.
"Good." He stood up as he paced back and forth in front of me.
"I don't know why you upset her. Why can't you just get along with her? It's not that hard. You always ruin things for me. Ever since you were born, only bad things have happened to me!" He growled at me.
"Ever since I married you only bad things have happened to me, but you don't see making a scene." My mother slurred from her seat.
"When don't you make a scene?" My father grumbled to himself.
"May I be excused father?" I stood up and held the book behind my back.
"Where are you going, sweetheart?" mother slurred.
"I think I shall go call the Miller's and ask for Victoria's forgiveness." I lied.
My father smiled at me.
"Very well. It is good to except ones mistakes. Do anything you must to find Victoria's forgiveness." He nodded and went back to his chair. No one said anything as I was about to walk to my room.
"Sweety?" slurred mother.
I turned to face her again. "Yes, mother?"
"You look fat in that dress. Try skipping meals. No man wants a fat girl." She advised me. I only mumbled a 'yes mother' and went upstairs to my room to go to sleep. I had enough today.
I went to my joint bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. As I looked up in the mirror, I saw that my face looked heavier. I pushed my chin against my neck, only to be upfront by a double chin. No, I can't have that. I took a step back and lifted my dress of and examined my body. I had thunder thighs, a huge badonkadonk butt, my stomach was pretty much rolling out, my arms were like hold grannies. Oh my god I was huge. I remembered mothers and Victoria's words.
"You looked fat lately."
"Bye Fatty!"
"You look fat in that dress. Try skipping meals. No man wants a fat girl."
Tears started filling my eyes. If I'm not pretty, no one will want me. No. No. I had to make it all better. I needed people to want me. To feel like I meant something.
So I did it.
I lifted my index finger in front of my eyes. I looked back in the mirror and back to my finger. I slowly brought my finger in my mouth and then jammed it at the back of my throat, trying to hit my pharyngeal reflex.
After a couple of minutes, I saw tonight's dinner going down the drain. I furiously brushed my teeth, trying to get that taste out. I quickly clean myself up. I felt like shit. I wanted that feeling to go away. And there was only one person.
I ran back into my room, in my bra and underwear and started looking for my phone. When I found it I pressed speed dial. It was answered on the third ring.
"Hey baby." Emmett answered. And with only his voice my world shined. I needed to see him.
"Em, I-" I stuttered.
"I'll be there in a flash." He quickly told me and hanged up.
With Em I didn't need words. He could tell how I felt with only a glance or murmur from me. I quickly got changed in a white tank top and jeans. Em likes the simple thing in life. I put my hair in a high pony tail, got my purse and phone and ran down stairs.
"Miss Hale? We are you going?" Asked Eleanor as I touched the door handle.
"I'm going to talk to Victoria. Ask her to forgive me." I lied to her. But she only smiled.
"I'll tell that to your father if he asks about you." She smiled. He wouldn't ask. He never asks. I opened the door and was about to held out.
"Sweety!" mother yelled.
"Yes mother." I came back into the house and stood in front of my mother.
"What in God's name are you wearing?" she shrieked.
"Umm I was just…" I mumbled. It wasn't that bad it was comfortable.
"You have so many clothes, so many hair styling equipments and you go out dress in those rags." It was true. I had all the brands you could think of and no fakes. Mother could never have that. Everytime I had to step put of the house if felt like I was going on the red carpet. Barbie Rosalie.
"You look so normal. You look plain. Go change." She looked at me if I was the most disgusting thing she seen in her life.
"It's 9 at night mother." I pleaded. I didn't want to change.
"Just put some make up sweety, have your hair out, show off your legs, arms stomach. You know maybe if you lost some weight this wouldn't me an issue. I've seen the girls at your school. They're so much prettier and sexy. You know your breasts are really small. I know this doctor-" she grabbed on to my breast and roughly squeezed them, emphasizing there imperfection.
"Just leave it mother!" I cried as I shoved her hand off me. I didn't want to see any doctor plastic. I didn't want to add another Rosalie to the list. Plastic Rosalie.
"Fine, don't listen to me. Be like your father. Stuborn pricks." She mumbled as she went back to the bar. I opened the front door once again and was about to held out.
"Oh and Miss Hale," Eleanor called out. I peeked through the door. "Send Mr. McCarty my regards." She grinned. I smiled as I mouthed a thank you.
I waited for Emmett on my front step for only a moment when I heard the screeched of tires. Em!
I looked up and saw the jeep pull in my drive way. I hopped of the steps and ran to the jeep. Emmett hopped out of his jeep and was about to run toward me, but I could wait. I leaped into his arms as I circled mine around his neck.
"What's wrong sweetie?" he mumbled in my hair. When Emmett called me 'sweetie' I could hear the love, not like when my mother did.
"Take me away." I mumbled in his neck as I squeezed him.
Emmett wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted me to the passenger seat and belted me up.
I hide my dysfunctional home life from my friends at school, where I act out my frustrations by bullying weaker students and flaunting my status as a wealthy daughter to the Hale Empire and a popular cheerleader in front of less affluent students. But really, I was jealous of them.
I'm Rosalie Hale. I'm smart, rich and popular. I'm in all extracurricular activities. Vice President of the Student Council. Vice President of the Honour Society. Editor of the yearbook. On the prom comity. Captain of the swimming team. Cheerleader. Public Rosalie. Popular Rosalie.
However, underneath that picture perfect exterior, is a significant, but well-hidden, layer of frustration and resentment. Due to the constant pressure to achieve from my parents, I feel I must be Miss Perfect Daughter in order to be accepted. I get good grades because of my father. I join clubs and socialise because of my mother. My parents want me to go to an Ivy League college to study business. Smart Rosalie.
My parents have never thought of the possibility of my falling in love, or getting married, or having children. Even as a little girl, they wanted me to think of a future career, as a business woman, or a lawyer, or something like that. I'd say to father, "I want to be a writer." and he'd say, "Journalist." I'd say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats, and he'd say, "Veterinarian." I'd say I wanted to be an actress, and he'd say, "TV newscaster." It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambition into these practical, money-making ventures.
I want to be a dancer. But father disapprove such non-sense. So I'm going to Yale to study business.
This is why I loath people like Isabella Swan. Because Isabella Swan has freedom. She can be who ever she wants and I bet her father loves her and tells her she can to whatever she wanted. Whatever makes her happy. She loves to paint and read and all that shit and she can do it. No one can stop her. She generally says and does whatever she likes… something that I wish I could do more often. Stupid Freak.
I wish I was a freak. It was better than picture perfect.
"Rose?" I heard Emmett whisper my name. We must be out our spot. Emmett had found this place over looking the town. It was our spot. We had our first time he. In the back of his jeep. At this place.
I unbuckled my seat belt and moved over the console to the back seat of the jeep. Emmett got out of the jeep and in one second he was at me side.
I hopped into his lap and hugged my teddy bear.
"Rose, what happen? Did your father-"
Emmett was the only one who knew about my family. However he doesn't know about the… puking.
"Just hold me. So I can feel safe and loved."
"Babe, in my arms you always are."
And in that moment I didn't care about father, mother, Victoria, Isabella or the future. The only thing that was on my mind was the man in my arms. The love of my life. My soul mate. Emmett. Cause with him I don't have to be Cheerleading Rosalie. I don't have to be Perfect or Ideal Daughter Rosalie. I don't have to be Barbie Rosalie or Plastic Rosalie. I don't have to be Smart Rosalie or Popular Rosalie. With him I'm just… Rose.
I lifted my head of his chest and stared in his eyes.
Love.
His eyes we're filled with love.
I missed him so much. It was only a few hours since I last saw him, but it felt like eternity.
I cupped Em's face with both of my hands as I looked deeper in his eyes.
"I love you, Emmett McCarty." I whispered to him. "I have, I do and I always will. With all my heart." I let the tear slip out of my eyes. Please love me.
"I love you, Rosalie Hale. Just the way you are. My Rose."
I lowered my head as I kiss his loving lips. Warmth. Whenever I was with Em I felt warm.
His Rose.