Jenny felt her eyes burn as she looked around at Nick's old office. It was the only place she could feel him anymore. She looked at the destroyed model and sighed. No-one would be able to re-build this.
Not Connor, who had been so close to the professor. Not Sarah, who had done so much of the work with him. Not Jenny, who had been the only one to break through the barrier he had erected around his soul when Helen had left him, when Helen had broken him.
He had become a man again, when he met Jenny, when they had laughed and spoken, when they had talked and argued. When they had progressed in their relationships. Associates, Collegues, Friends, more...
But there was nothing left now, it was Nick's funeral today, and he would be burned. No-one was sure what they would do with the ashes.
It was going to be a quiet ceremony, Cutter had no family left. Jenny, Connor and Abby, Sarah and Becker, Lester and the ARC troops were the only guests, and the Priest who would perform the cermony. The priest who would say the words Jenny knew would have been more than enough for the professors, words that he would have found amusing.
Jenny sighed again and stepped under the barrier crossing the room off the actual ARC. It was like passing into a different world, like an Anomaly...or what she assumed an Anomaly would be like. She had never had the courage to step into the otherworlds, it was too terrifying for her to even contemplate. She didn't want to see what the earth had once been, didn't want to see the beauty that mankind had destroyed. Didn't want to see Helen's point of view...
She stepped over the destroyed remains of the Model and sat on the dusty, ashy floor. She pulled up her legs, which were enfolded in black tights, and rested her chin on her knee's. Her black skirt spread out around her. She wore her hair down, straight, because she knew that Nick always preferred it down. Her face was bare of make-up except Lipstick and a tiny bit of Mascara, because she Knew Nick always preferred her natural.
She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, thinking of the last time she'd seen Nick in this exact place.
"Wow, please tell me this all means something!"
She smiled as she remembered herself saying those words. Nick had turned and looked at her, his eyes lighting up, as she walked in, then he turned away and she blushed.
"This, is a model of every Anomaly in history!"
Connor had said, souning exceptionally pleased with their work.
"Call me stupid but couldn't we have done this all on a computer?"
"This way its more...tangible!" Nick had said, his eyes on the wire that he was fixing in place.
"Makes him feel more like god, you knoe, with the whole creation thing!"
Jenny laughed at the fond memory. It was one that she was going to keep in her mind forever, it was a special part of her now. It wasn't strange or unusual in anyway, but it was special! It was special because it was during one of the few times when the team had been lose and able to laugh. Well, there were more of those times before Steven's death, but Nick had been...getting over that?
No, she supposed, he had just been getting used to it. Nick would never had gotten over the death of his oldest friend, as Jenny would never get over the death of Nick. He would always be a part of her, always belong in her mind and her heart.
Forever.
She opened her eyes again, as they began to leak, and blinked so that the tears ran down her face. She placed a thumb beneath each eye and drew them swiftly sideways, making sure she didn't smudge her mascara. She put her head to her knees, hiding her face, and felt her hair fall over her ears, hiding her completely.
Sucking in a deep breath, she stood up. She smothed down the skirt of her dress, which swayed around her legs, and adjusted the smal buckle of her heel. She turned towards the door and saw standing there, Connor.
"Hi..." She said, startled, and she looked hurriedly away. "How long were you standing there?"
"Long enough," He said, avoiding her gaze and walking forwards, "I used to stay back...every night after his death, looking over and over his work, staring at the artifact, trying to fix the matrix!" He said, stopping in front of her and looking into her eyes.
"I couldn't work any of it out! Because I'm not him!" Connor said, his eyes gleming with moisture. Jenny felt a sudden rush of affection for Connor and pulled him into a hug. He responded, wrapping his arms around her and beginning to shake in her arms.
"Connor..." She soothed, feeling maternal. She held him closer and his sobs began to subside. When Connor was crying, Jenny felt stronger. There was only enough room for one team member to faal apart at once, so while Connor was falling apart, Jenny had to stay strong, had to comfort the man she had grown so close to, after the death of the man she had been falling for...so hard!
"Connor," Jenny said, when he had finally stopped sobbing, she released him from her arms and rested her hand son his shoulders, "Connor, listen to me, no-one will be able to replace Cutter...I can't do it, as Team Leader! It will never be my team, and I don't want it to be! It will always be Nick's team! I would never want that to change!"
Connor nodded.
"He was just so...Cutter!" Jenny laughed at Connor's description and nodded.
"Yeah, he was exccentric and smart, funny and completely infuriating, Handsome and sexy!" Connor smiled at her, a knowing smile.
"He meant alot to you..." He said, quietly and Jenny nodded once more.
"And you!" She said, hugging him once more.
"Yeah, he meant alot to everyone!" Jenny said, simply, and Connor began to sob into her shoulder all over again. She felt her eyes burn, and allowed her tears to flow.