Winging It
Hello and welcome, fans of all things PitxSamus! This is my contribution to what is pretty much my favourite pairing ever. The title refers not to the storyline, but to my complete lack of ideas and/or coherent plotline! (Also for the pun) Suggestions are not only helpful, but necessary! (If you're reading this, I'm talking to you, RedheadRenegade!) I have enough ideas to get a few chapters going, but I must warn you, this fic takes second priority to my other one, Shade and a Vampire, and I update that roughly monthly. (Go check it out if you're a fan of Rosario+Vampire)
(By the way, I will be making up move sets, some characters, and courses, since this fic is set in Ultimate. If I turn out to be right, then whoopee! If not, then please don't pick me up on it.)
(Also, I have only played Metroid Fusion. Any and all Samus data is from the wiki or other fics.)
So, yeah. I should stop talking your ears/microphones/xenohomologous hearing appendages off. Let's get started!
High above the clouds, veiled to mortal eyes, Skyworld floated serenely. Polished Marble pantheons and columns almost glowed in the soft sunlight. It was, quite literally, heaven. The glorious collection of floating islands was quiet, after its recent victory over the Underworld Army. A single angel, the captain of the guard, had defeated the God of the Underworld, one of the strongest forces in the divine Pantheon. The ruler of the realm, the Goddess Palutena, was helping to prepare his reward. More fighting. For such a sweet thing, he was incredibly violent. They stood just outside her gleaming temple, checking his luggage.
"Ok, Pit, are you sure you've got everything?"
"This time, definitely." Palutena smiled down at her little angel. He held a small suitcase, given to him by a mortal he had saved in the final battle, having put himself in the place of a shot that would have destroyed a number of homes. Palutena had helped him pack, but it still hadn't worked. He had forgotten everything at least once.
"Really?" she grinned. "What about this?" She held up a small brown object.
"NO!" shouted Pit, lunging forward and clutching it to his chest. A few passing centurions glanced their way, but soon resumed their duties. Pit watched them go, and then released the object from his chest. "How did you know?" he asked, looking down at the scruffy brown teddy bear in his hands.
"Oh, come on Pit." She laughed. "All-seeing eye, remember?"
"I wanted to leave him here this time…" mumbled Pit. "I had a few close calls last time."
"That's all right Pit." She said, reaching out for the old bear. Pit gave it to her, and she tucked it away. She looked down at the blush on his young face, and her heart almost melted. "Awwwww." She cooed. "Look at you, growing up…" She bent down and pinched his cheek.
"Lady Palutena…" he groaned, gently pulling her hand off. "Please, not in front of the troops…" She smiled.
"Okay, Pit." A small beeping sound emanated from her pocket. "Oh, looks like your ride should be showing up right about… now."
Right on cue, the sky tore in two, a massive violet fissure in the air. Out of it, along with some very loud Heavy Metal music, came a large black London Taxi. It flew in a rather erratic arc down to the pair, landing a few meters away. The music cut out, and one tinted window wound down.
Out of it leaned two large white gloved fingers, waving madly.
"COOO-EEEE! OOOOVER HEEEERE!" Yelled Crazy Hand.
"Oh dear." Sighed Palutena. "Okay, then Pit. I'll see you in a few months."
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked. She smiled. Always so considerate.
"It's okay. Pittoo can fill in for you if need be. He just needs the right incentive…"
"If you say so."
"COME ON PEOPLE, LET'S MOVE IT!" Yelled the insane glove, tapping the door of the taxi with one finger.
"Just a minute!" Palutena shouted back. "Have you got your new tricks?" Pit smiled and tapped the golden circle on his toga.
"Yup. Looking forward to using it." He began to move towards the taxi, Twisting his body to wave. "Goodbye Lady Palutena!"
"Goodbye Pit! Remember, no drinking!" He smiled and got into the cab. Crazy Hand let out a shriek of joy.
"YAY! Alright, where to, guv'nor?"
"Smash Manor!" Pit shouted back, almost as enthusiastic as Crazy hand was.
"YIPPEE!" Yelled Crazy Hand. He began to wind up the window. Pit noticed a small note stuck to the back of Crazy Hand's seat. He peered at the elegant handwriting, trying to read the overly elaborate font.
I cannot stress how much I would recommend you use a seatbelt. Yours sincerely, Master Hand.
Pit clicked the seatbelt into the fastener just in time. The deranged left hand sitting in front of him released the winder, settled into position in the specially adapted seat and screamed:
"VEGAS OR BUST, BABY!" He jabbed the accelerator with one finger, and Pit felt his body sink into the seat's back as the car accelerated to extreme speeds in the space of half a second. The car shot into the air, back into the rift from which it came, and zoomed through the flashing lights of the interdimensional void. They were moving so fast, Pit couldn't move a muscle. He managed to stammer out:
"G-FORCE….I-IN MY FAAAAAAAAAACE!" Crazy Hand managed to shout even louder:
"YAAAHOOO!"
Suddenly the acceleration stopped and Pit was thrown forward, his face stopping an inch short of the seat in front. The seatbelt pulled him back, and he silently thanked Master Hand. Crazy Hand pressed a button, and let go of the wheel, reaching over to the other seat to grab something. He suddenly twisted, seeming to look at Pit.
"Wanna beer, kid?" he asked, holding a large bottle he had just retrieved from an icebox between finger and thumb. Pit looked at the bottle, then at the two-meter-tall hand offering it.
"No thanks." He said.
"Suit yourself." replied the hand, placing it back in the icebox with a sort of shrugging movement. He then pressed the autopilot button again, switched on the Heavy Metal, and jabbed the accelerator. Pit was thrown back again, stuck in place while the hand screamed at the top of his lungs…
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Master Hand floated outside the doors to Smash Manor, waiting for the arrival of the contestants. He looked around at the garden he had prepared, and double-checked the protective spell he had placed on it to stop his brother from wrecking it again. Then he went back to waiting.
He snapped his fingers a few times. He cracked his knuckles. He discovered that things were never really as much fun when no one was there, even if he didn't like it at the time.
"Oh, Crazy…" he muttered. Then he heard Heavy Metal music. "Speak of the Devil…" he said, smiling inwardly.
The familiar rift opened, and out of it came the taxi. It flew down, music blaring, and managed to stop just a few inches short of the flowerbeds. Crazy Hand got out of the car, and opened the door for Pit.
"Greetings… Master Pit?" Master Hand peered into the cab, looking for other Smashers. Pit's brow furrowed.
"Is something wrong?"
"Nothing of your concern, Master Pit." Sighed Master Hand. He turned to Crazy Hand, who was looking temptedly at the flowers, clenching and unclenching his fist. "Brother!"
"PANCAKES! Oh, yes?" He said.
"Where are the others?"
"Other whats?"
"The other smashers…"
"Oh, yeah! I was gonna get them… but then there was this evil sorcerer and a bunch of kittens and…"
"You forgot them, didn't you?"
"I dunno…" Crazy Hand traced a circle in the dirt.
"Go and get them then… And remember to expand the cabin. Bowser obtained a neck injury last time he rode in there."
"Okey dokey!" Crazy Hand walked to the cab, and Pit followed Master Hand into the Mansion.
"Twin brothers, eh?" he joked.
"You have no idea…" replied the massive appendage.
"So, is anyone else here yet?"
"You are the first one to arrive, yes, but I believe another Smasher is here."
"Cool! I'll go say hello!"
"Wait-!" Master Hand called, but to no avail. Pit had already sprinted off. Master Hand's outstretched fingers relaxed. He chuckled to himself. The angel was incredibly, some may even say insufferably, upbeat. That would annoy some people, but… He had been a Smasher once already, and currently the only enemies he had made were with the villains, and they didn't like anyone. Newcomers might feel assured by the friendly veteran, and then again, he wasn't that hard to manage. A good supply of floor ice cream and he was happy as a pig in mud.
Master Hand sighed as he remembered the current situation. He could handle himself in a fight, but the angel was always slightly annoying, even towards the friends he had made. And the person he was rushing off to greet was hardly the most tolerant.
Behind him, he heard two successive noises. The first was the sort of noise made by a giant hand jumping on some flowerbeds, and the second the sort of noise made by someone who had just been electrocuted.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Pit strolled into the main living area in Smash Manor, looking for the other Smasher. He opened the door, taking in the view. Ornate chandeliers, a plush red carpet, a widescreen TV, and several sofas. Sitting at one of the sofas was Samus Aran, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy. Her long blond hair was tied up in a ponytail as usual, but instead of the zero suit, she wore a loose top and sweat-pants. She was tinkering with a few pieces of electronics, her Power Suit lying prone on the coffee table in front of her. She was currently holding a circuit board to the light, examining connections, with her head laying against the top of the sofa. The door was on the opposite end of the room to the TV, so she hadn't seen him yet.
"Hi!" called Pit, a little louder than necessary. Samus cried out in shock, dropping the circuit board. Pit darted forward, dropping his suitcase and grabbing the small green chip. "Don't worry, I go…" He looked down just in time to see her pointing her blaster at him.
"Aah! Whoa! Hah! Oop!" Pit jumped around randomly, managing to dodge every shot. He vaguely wondered why she was still shooting. "SAMUS! It's me, Pit!"
Something clicked in the bounty huntress' mind. She stopped shooting, and looked at the boy. He had his hands on his knees, panting, gasping thanks at her. He looked up, and Samus' heart practically melted. He was so cute! Chocolate-brown hair, big blue eyes, indelible smile and fluffy white wings. Memories floated into her mind of the Brawl tournament. A mildly annoying but extremely amiable angel that even managed to give Link a run for his money on the fangirl front. She hadn't talked to him much, but damn, he was adorable.
She barely noticed that he was holding out the circuit board. He started looking a little awkward, and glanced down at it. This broke the spell, and Samus' inner femininity disappeared. She blushed a bit, and took the circuit board.
"Don't sneak up on me like that." She said, perhaps a little too gruffly.
"Won't happen again." He laughed. He ran a hand through his hair, and went back to get his suitcase." She returned to the sofa, and began packing up her equipment, putting everything back in a toolbox.
He lugged the suitcase over and sat on the sofa next to her. She glanced up at him, still smiling after a dice with death.
"Um…" she said. "Sorry… I guess?"
"No harm done!" he said in a sprightly tone.
"So… is anyone else here yet?"
"Nope. Crazy Hand forgot everyone else." He tilted his head. "Hey… how'd you get here?" Samus blushed again.
"I… never really left…" she muttered.
"Huh?"
"There wasn't anything to do back in my universe… No one needed me… So Master Hand let me stay here, to train."
"Bet you've done a lot of target practice, huh?" Samus grinned.
"Enough to be able to hit you while you're flying around, wing-boy." Pit grinned back.
"Care to test that? You're not the only person with a few new tricks." Samus looked down to her suit, and reattached the circuit board she had dropped. Immediately it started to hum, and the visor lit up. She looked back at Pit.
"Master Hand hasn't got any of the proper battlefields up and running yet, but there's a blank slate with some obstacles and platforms we could use. Just give me half an hour to get everything back up to my room."
"Aw, don't worry about that! You still in the room next to mine?" Samus raised an eyebrow.
"Yes… Why?"
"Because this!" Pit pulled out his Wings of Pegasus charm, tapped it, piled all of Samus' things on his shoulders and flew off on his now brilliantly glowing wings.
Samus watched him go. For someone so short, he was awfully strong. He returned a minute later, and grabbed the Power Suit with one arm, and his own suitcase in the other.
"See ya in the arena!" he yelled as he rocketed up the stairs again.
Samus sat there, dazed, confused, and inexplicably happy, for a moment, then followed him up.
Yay for UNNECESSARY CAPITALISATION and Kid Icarus Uprising references! So, yeah! Hope you liked this chapter, because there is more to come! Hopefully soon! Maybe!
(By the way, this is the longest single chapter I have ever written! Can I get a clap? No? Okay, then… *Sniffle*)
Nah, just kidding. BTW, what do you think of my Samus personality? As you can see, I have only played Fusion, in which you get, like three cutscenes. Sorry if she's a little OOC, but that's just how I roll!
Finally, please drop a review or three, as that's all I'm really in this for. Yeah, call me an attention-seeker all you want. No-one does in real life, so ALL PRAISE THE INTERWEB!
(PS: Please don't think I'm a moron for having a catchphrase at the end of every chapter. I don't even know why I do it! I haven't written a single crime fic!)
Theonewhodidnotdoit leaves the scene…