Marriage Counseling
(I don't own these characters)
Phoebe and Mike need some marriage advice from the Bings . . . R&R pretty please
Scene: Monica & Chandler's, everyone's there watching TV except Phoebe
Joey: you know if House is such a good doctor guy why can't he fix his leg!
Chandler: remember when I said you could come over and watch house with us?
Joey: yea
Chandler: and what was my one rule?
Joey: 'don't make fun of what is the greatest show ever created' (the phone rings & Chandler glares him) hey don't look at me! I'm not ringing you right now
Monica: hello . . . oh hey Phoebe
Chandler: hang up, she's wrecking House!
Monica: (on the phone) slow down sweetie . . . well yea he's here . . . oh Phoebe I don't think he'll want to . . . . hello? . . . she hung up on me!
Rachel: what's wrong with her now? Did a squirrel die or something
Chandler: well if it did I bet House could figure out why
Monica: oh my god Chandler we get it you're in love with House but Phoebe needs us
Ross: what's up?
Monica: I don't know but it sounded like she was crying and she said she wanted Chandler and I over there now
Chandler: I sent everyone an email telling them I was not to be disturbed tonight . . . it's House night!
Ross: well Phoebe doesn't trust computers so I'm thinking she didn't get it, but I did and also your link to that porno site . . . nice man
Monica: I'm going to ignore that for the minute, listen sweetie House will be on again but Phoebe needs us for something
Chandler: its probably something like an orgy with her and Mike, I've seen the way he looks at me
Rachel: look we'll record the rest of House for you just go Phoebe needs you
Ross: wow Rach that's so thoughtful of you
Monica: no its not she just want's the gossip of what's wrong with Phoebe!
Rachel: it doesn't matter what I want . . . its about Phoebe so get going you two
Chandler: (sigh) fine but make sure it records & don't tell me what the disease is, I like to challenge myself each week and try to figure it out
Monica: and then what do you do
Chandler: google the symptoms . . . stop judging me Phoebe needs us!
Rachel: hey Mon when you find out text me the scandal ASAP
Ross: and I was this close to thinking you were being sincere about caring about Phoebe
Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Chandler knocks at the door & Phoebe opens it
Chandler: somebody order room service
Monica: Phoebe are you ok, have you been crying?
Phoebe: it's me and Mike, we're going through some stuff and it got out of hand and I thought to myself who's a happily married couple who can help us out of this mess but then I realized all the married couples I know hate each other or are already divorced so I called you guys
Chandler: how touching
Monica: what's wrong?
Mike: well money's tight right now and Phoebe is basically giving me an ultimatum
Phoebe: he could earn really good money again if he went back to being a lawyer
Mike: yes and go back to a job I hated!
Monica: guys slow down, start from the beginning
Phoebe: Mike's piano bar is gone down the gutter and I don't earn too much money in my job so I think Mike should go back to law and provide for his wife!
Mike: or you could respect my choice of my career and understand how much I hated being a lawyer . . . you know why don't you quit you're job and get one that pays more
Phoebe: no I like my job
Mike: I like mine!
Phoebe: but I REALLY like mine!
Chandler: (to Monica) they're not even paying attention to us and I'm missing House for this!
Phoebe: guys shouldn't a husband do the right thing and provide for his family aka me!
Chandler: oh I don't think we should get involved in your marital issues we have enough of our own
Monica: what does that mean!
Chandler: I mean we have no marital issues what so ever and would love to get involved in your fight
Phoebe: Chandler you know exactly about this, you hated your job and did it, you even did it when they moved you to Tulsa, and why . . . to provide for Monica
Chandler: yea but that was different
Phoebe: how!
Monica: he was too much of a coward to quit
Chandler: hey!
Monica: (huggin him) sorry sweetie but we both know its true
Chandler: still its not like I want to hear it though
Mike: oh look you sorted out your fight now can we please get back to ours!
Chandler: Phoebe the truth is Monica never forced me to work in a job I hated to 'provide' for her
Phoebe: don't lie to me, Monica controls everything in your life
Chandler: to you guys she's a controlling megalomaniac
Monica: hey!
Chandler: you know its true! . . . But in our marriage she lets her guard down with me and behind closed doors she lets me take the reigns sometimes
Monica: reputation as a hard-ass just gone out the window, thank you very much!
(flashback, sometime in season eight)
Scene: Monica & Chandler's, Chandler enters, everyones there
Chandler: hey (see's Rachel's baby bump) hey Rach getting big now
Rachel: you never say that to a pregnant lady!
Chandler: fine sorry, how's being pregnant?
Rachel: uncomfortable, boring, hot and frequently needing to pee . . . how was work?
Chandler: uncomfortable, boring, hot and frequently needing to pee (he goes into the bedroom & sits down on the bed, Monica enters)
Monica: you ok?
Chandler: fine
Monica: sweetie you're incredibly easy to read, something's up?
Chandler: you know those days where you just hate your job?
Monica: No not really
Chandler: thanks for being so understanding
Monica: (hugging him) I'm kidding what's wrong?
Chandler: I mean don't get me wrong I love coming home and being with you but it would be nice not to be bored all day in work and counting down the minutes till I come home to you . . . that came out wrong, I don't hate coming home to you . . . I love you
Monica: (sarcastic) wow heartfelt . . . sweetie you hate your job so why don't you just quit and get a job you love like me, one where you're not thinking about coming home to me
Chandler: I can't quit, I know you hate hearing this but I earn more money than you and we need said money
Monica: so what if we'd have have less, we'll manage, anything to save me from listening to you go on and on about how much you hate your job . . . that and knowing you're happy
Chandler: (sarcastic) and you say I'm heartfelt
Monica: honey come on I don't mind working extra to make ends meet, we have a good amount in our savings, it could work all I want is for you to be happy (she kisses him)
Chandler: I can't start a new job, I don't even know what I would want to be
Monica: well you know you don't want to be a statistical guy and date reconfirgurationer thing . . . is that the right title of your job?
Chandler: not exactly but you're getting closer (he hugs her) Mon it means so much that you would be willing to let me quit and find something that I'm passionate about but I'm too old and lazy
Monica: all right but the next time you come home and depressed and pitiful just remember my offer (they kiss) oh and FYI you can't quit your job to become a house husband
Chandler: like I would want to laze around the house all day and let you answer my every beck and call
Monica: hmm then why do you do that at the weekends
Chandler: because I know how much you like answering my every beck and call (they kiss)
(end flashback)
Monica: you see you guys I was willing to forgo some luxuries so Chandler could find a job he genuinely liked
Mike: see Phoebe Monica was willing to be supportive!
Phoebe: hey I don't mind forgoing luxuries but I don't want to 'forgo' my house! And besides Monica you didn't put your foot down when Chandler was shipped off to Tulsa
Monica: Phoebe I always will regret not going with him, it was selfish of me not to
Chandler: (holds Monica's hand) sweetie I was never angry at you for that (Monica stares him) ok sometimes I was but I don't hold it against you now
Mike: besides if I went back to work you'd never see me Phoebe, I'd be too busy
Phoebe: Chandler was in Tulsa and they made that work!
Chandler: not exactly, I mean you guys don't know this but Tulsa put a lot of strain on our marriage, sometimes even the 'I haven't seen you in a week' sex couldn't fix things . . .
hmmmmmmmmmmm is it any good? should I continue it . . . probably will but reviews would help me decide, it'll probably be about 3 chapters long each with it's own flashback