A.N./ I do not mean to offend any antheist nor christians but I needed an example and that's the first thing that came to mind. Near is a cute, little uke and ignore the fact he has low self-esteem.
If hate is a variation of love. If this is so, then the person you hate most in the world and the person you love the most in the world which one do you have stronger feelings for? Saying that, than the people who hate society the most are actually the ones who love it the most. That makes me wonder, are the christians of this world who try and convert everyone and are supposed to love everyone do they love everyone more than an atheist who hates everyone. Which feeling could possibly be stronger? The hate of one person or the love of one person. Think of someone you hate the most in the world, are they in fact your soul mate? The one you love most in the world, are they in fact your enemy? Is there such a thin line between love and hate that we may fail to recognize it? What makes the difference between hate and love? Is it only the words that make the difference or is it the feelings? Could the feelings between hate and love be so alike that in a sense they are the same? What is the difference between someone who hates another so much that they have to kill them and someone who loves them so much that they have to kill them? Is there any difference at all between the two? Would you cry over someone you hate who has died? Would you cry over someone you love who has died? If in fact, that everyone loves each other could it also be that we hate each other? Could we all be willing to kill the ones we hate if they were in fact the ones we love at the same time? There might come a time in your life that there is someone you hate so much that the only way to end your hate is through killing them and yourself because, if in fact, hate is a variation of love than you have just killed the one you loved. Is it possibly to live with yourself after having done such a horrible deed? If hate is a variation of love than we are all screwed because the one thing humanity is good at is finding new ways to kill our loved ones in which are the ones we hate the most in the world. If that is true though. If not we may have a chance. Those are only ifs though. Who knows what actually lies in a humans mind. If any one is to find out it will surly be the doom of our lives.
These thoughts have been spinning in his head lately. Swirling around trying to be voiced. He had no idea even where they started to come from except his own mind. His mind which was supposed to be the best in the world. His mind that could defeat his oponents with a single thought. His mind couldn't even figure out why he was thinking this. The thoughts only appeared in his mind when a certain someone was around though. He couldn't understand it and he was supposed to be a genius. Even genuis' have things they can not understand it seems. He looked over to the person who started these thoughts.
The boy was relaxing on the couch with his best friend. He found it odd the boy always wore black. He never took it off, as far as he was concerned which recently had been allot. The boy had golden blonde hair that gleamed in the sun. If in fact he was stupid enough not to realize it was attached to someone's head, he would have thought that it was actually gold. He had icy blue eyes that could make the strongest of men crumble to their knees in weakness if he chose to shine them upon them. Only he had endured the coldness of those blue eyes. He endured it every day. It was like the boy had become obsessed with him. That was a hard thing to do. He wasn't special. He only had average looks. He was anti-social. The only thing you could truly credit him with was his mind. It was odd that that was the only thing the other boy cared about. His mind was the only thing that fueled the ambitions of the other boy. He couldn't stand being second and often told Near that he hated him. Maybe that was why he was thinking weird thoughts that ultimately had no point.
"Quit staring at me you albino freak!" Near blinked in suprise. He hadn't noticed he had been staring at him. Near let his robot fall to the floor in his suprise. The noise didn't reach his ears only the weird look he got from Mello did he register.
"Are you okay?" He didn't hear the words Mello said as his head fell back to reach the awaiting ground. Everything went black around him as his thoughts were consumed by Mello.
Mello hates him. He hates him. Hate is a variation of love. Does that mean that Mello also loves him? Could Mello love him of all people? He had done nothing to deserve Mello's hate/love. He had done nothing to be a person. He might as well be an emotionless robot. He might as well be one of the countless toys he owns. He was nothing. He had no emotions. Humans thrive of emotions. If he had none did that mean he wasn't human? If he wasn't human than what was the point of him even being there? He could just disapear without anyone knowing.
"-ver knowing...never...disapear..." His eyes slowly slid open to find Mello standing above him. It was odd that he had a worried expression on his face. He blinked once to see if he was imagining it. As soon as he opened his eyes again Mello wasn't over him.
"It was just a hallucination."
"What was?" He sat up and turned his head in the direction the sound came from. Mello was sitting in a chair with a chocolate bar.
"Nothing..." They sat there a few minutes in silence. Near didn't find it awkward at all but Mello kept shifting in his seat as if to say he was uncomfortable.
"May I ask Mello something?" He turned to a very anxious blonde.
"Shoot." Near blinked a moment and figured that meant go ahead.
"Why is he here?" Mello didn't looked suprised at the question.
"Nurse told me to wait with ya while she took care of some buisness." Near nodded.
"Leave." Near stated blankly. Mello looked at him as though he was crazy but got up and left without looking back. Near watched him go and decided now was as good as time as any. He slipped out of the cot he had been laying on and grabbed a scalple the nurse had laying on the corner of the sink about to cut open a dead frog. He took the scalple and sliced up a blue vein traveling up his forearm. He repeated the action with the other arm and sat down.
This is what he had been waiting to do. Wammy's had allot of suicidal children because of the pressure to succeed L. Near was no exception. As a result the whole place had been suicide proofed. He had been waiting for his chance to do it. He slid down the counter next to the sink.
This is what he wanted. This is what Mello wanted. This is what he had to do. Something in his heart was compelling him to do this. Something in him couldn't keep going. He was an empty shell in a race he had no hope to win. He didn't mind it. He thought it better this way. He knew he didn't deserve the title of L. He knew he didn't work for it. He knew that Mello was the better choice. That is why he didn't feel sad by doing this. In fact, he felt a little happy. A little relieved.
Near sat in his thoughts as blood pooled around him. Blackness invaded his vision as he slowly slipped into the awaiting darkness. He simply smiled as he felt the last bit of darkness cover his eyes and his soul move away from his body. He was finally at peace.
Mello walked in to find Near's body. He had waited outside the door the whole time while Near did it. He knew that this was the only way he would ever reach number one. The deed was done. There was no turning back for him. He looked at Near. The albino was smiling. In his heart Mello was wondering if he should take the scalple and do the same thing as Near. He couldn't supress a sigh as he picked it up. He knew he didn't deserve to be L this way. He knew it but he couldn't bring himself to do as Near had done. He couldn't do it. He placed the scalple back beside the frog and walked out to find the nurse.
A.N./ Yeah, that was kind of weird. I never had Near kill himself and it makes me really sad. I think that if Mello found Near about to kill himself in the real Death Note he would have walked away. He would have because he would be the next L. Either that or he would have gone completely insane with the thing he hated most dead. He wouldn't have known what to do with himself. Please, review and let me know what you think.