A/N OK...this is totally different to anything I've written before. For starters it's written in the first person...and it's been years since I've written that way so i'm a bit (and for a bit read a lot!) rusty.

Thanks NM for reading it and telling me to post it...love you hun!

Let me know what you think...I have to admit I found writing from this person's perspective surprisingly therapeutic!

The Other Woman

I couldn't pin point the exact moment I knew. I've tried. I've looked back over my time with him but have come to realise it was never one thing, never one moment. It was an accumulation of a lot of small things. The odd touch and the occasional glance...those moments when he'd look at me but I knew he wasn't really seeing me. He tried to make it work...to put me first. I know that. He gave his heart and soul to our relationship, but unfortunately for both of us his heart wasn't his to give. His heart still belonged to a woman who didn't even realise it. She didn't understand the gift that she held in the palm of her hands, and that she alone had the power to break him. She thought he was over her...that I was that woman. For a genius she wasn't very smart.

I should have known it wouldn't work as soon as I found out about his past, or should I say the past he kept from me. I'd like to think he'd have told me on his own eventually but deep down I know that's not true. If Hodgins hadn't bought up his past while regaling us with his latest conspiracy theory I would never have known, and seeing the way she reacted to it showed me the strength of their connection. I realised in that moment that she knew a side of him I didn't, a side of him he wouldn't allow me to see. With me he was allowed to be someone else...a man with no guilt, no pain, a man capable of living in the moment with no fear of the past or future. I know now that that man never really existed.

Looking back it's hard to believe I bought into that man. I'm an intelligent woman whose job it is to look deeper...to find the story. But in the end maybe I just didn't want to see it. The occasional shadow would cross his face and i'd ask him about it. He would fob me off, claim everything was ok or distract me with a kiss or a hug and i'd drop the subject. I mean, what could he possibly have to worry about...to be sad about? He had a good job, good friends, was in a committed relationship with a woman he loved. His life was perfect, wasn't it? And I know what you're thinking...naive right? He hid so much from me and I know I shouldn't blame him but I can't help it. Part of me resented it and part of me still resents it. He let me fall in love with an empty version of who he was. He kept his darkest self from me for reasons known only to him. Maybe he thought I wouldn't love him...maybe he thought I would reject that part of him, but that in itself showed me how little we knew each other. For all I know he could having been lying to himself and not me. Fooling himself into thinking he was the man he led me to believe. Either way the relationship was over. I wasn't what he needed. More to the point I wasn't who he needed.

I still remember our last conversation. It plays like a video in my head when I allow myself to think of it.

Seeley slammed the door as he entered our apartment, storming past me without even glancing in my direction. As he sailed past I heard him muttering about 'pigheaded scientists and their inability to listen to the simplest instructions' and my lips quirked in a sad parody of my normal smile. I've lost count of the nights he's come home muttering about his 'partner'...and I use the term lightly. Even I now saw how deep their partnership ran and no other woman can compete. I stood alone in our hallway, waiting for him to emerge from the kitchen. He strolled back out, beer raised to his lips. He froze when he finally noticed I hadn't moved from my spot in the hall, and his gaze shifted quickly down to the bags at my feet before rising to meet my eyes. He moved the bottle from his lips and walked slowly towards me, placing the bottle on a side table as he went. He came to a stop directly in front of me and stared at me for a moment before...

"Is this what you want?" he said quietly, watching my face intently.

"No" I said sadly "But it's what I need."

He nodded slowly, understanding what I meant without the words needing to be said and I was glad. It was somehow easier not having to say it out loud. We continued to gaze at each other, both aware that this was the end of something that could have been spectacular but for one minute detail. He shifted his gaze from me and glanced back down at the bags at my feet.

"I tried" he began, turning his gaze back to me and my heart broke again for the both of us. He was in pain...and it wasn't the kind I could heal.

"I know" I said, raising a hand to cup his cheek. "We both did."

He turned his face into my palm and took what little comfort he could. I don't know how long we stood like that, both lost in our own thoughts and our own pain. I let my gaze roam Seeley's face and body as we stood still in the hall, committing everything about him to my memory. When I had looked my fill I pulled my hand away from his face, and Seeley stood up straighter as he took a step back. I bent down and lifted my bags, shaking my head slightly as Seeley moved to help. When I had the bags comfortably in my hands I sent him a soft smile before turning to walk towards the front door. Seeley fell into step beside me, and when we reached the door he pulled it open and watched as I stepped through. I stood outside and turned to face him, an awkward silence falling between us with the knowledge that this was it. This was the end. Our goodbye.

"How are you" he began hesitantly

"Taxi" I said quickly and he nodded in acceptance.

We stood silently watching each other before I fidgeted slightly, glancing quickly down at my watch.

"So I should go...don't want to keep the driver waiting."

I turned to leave but...

"Hannah" Seeley called, stopping me in my tracks. I turned to face him. "I loved you...I really did."

I smiled sadly at his use of the past tense.

"I know" I said quietly, knowing that in his own way he had loved me. Just not the way I needed. Not the way I deserved. "Seeley...promise me one thing?" I waited for him to nod before continuing. "Don't wait too long. She loves you. She needs to know you love her too."

Seeley looked shocked at my request but recovered quickly.

"Hannah she doesn't and I don't..."

I cut him off, not allowing him to lie to himself any longer.

"Seeley. These past 5 months I've watched her and I've watched you both together. She loves you and it scares her, but I think she's ready. For you. For everything you want with her. Just don't waste it...promise me" I said, almost begging. It may be slowly killing me but I wanted him to be happy, and she is what he needs to make that happen.

He didn't bother to deny it this time. He nodded slowly and smiled softly, the gratitude clear in his eyes. I turned swiftly and started to walk down the corridor.

"Hannah" he called again and I froze, anxious to be on my way.

"Be safe" he said.

I nodded my head sharply, refusing to turn around, not wanting Seeley to see the tears escaping from my eyes.

"And you Seeley...and you" I whispered quietly.

And that was the last time I saw him. He was the first man I had ever let close enough to hurt me, and leaving him was the hardest thing I had ever done. It was also the easiest. I only wanted him to be happy, and I knew that leaving was the quickest way to accomplish that. With me no longer available as a distraction I hoped he would finally face up to his feelings. It was about time they both faced the mistakes they had made.

Now, I was never the girl at school who dreamt about getting married or having children. I never wanted the perfect home with the white picket fence and dog. I wanted to travel and to see things, to be something. And I was. I am. I had a career I loved and the independence I craved. I never stayed in one place long, I was always on the move and that was just the way I liked it. Then I met one guy who changed everything. For the first time in my life I thought about the future and what it would be like to settle, to put down roots. To wake up in the same bed with the same man day after day. To have a place to call home. And then I did. I left a job I loved for the man I loved, and I would do it again and again time after time regardless of the pain it may bring, because it taught me something. Well, it taught me many things but one important thing. That I am no longer the same woman I was 10 years ago...5 years ago... hell even last year. The marriage and children? I can see that in my future now. Maybe not soon but someday, when I meet a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. When I meet a man who isn't in love with his partner.

I'd never have dreamed that when I left Afghanistan to be with him that it would end the way it did, but then I had no way of knowing. I can only hope that sometime in the not so distant future I find a man that loves me the way he loves her...and that I never have to be the other woman again.

A/N So...what do we think? I happen to love Hannah myself and i know that with this story line she is going to be hurt...and i for one am not looking forward to that. This was my take on how it could go...Hannah herself realising that she needed to leave...for herself and for Booth & Brennan.

Laffers

xXx