Chapter one

Trouble & cabbage kids

Jacob is 17 years old, and he's the babysitter of seven little kids/monsters, all the Cullens have been shrunk and turned into kids for the sake of this fanfiction. Don't worry! They're still big in the movies and in the books! Rose is the oldest (I know Edward is really but again, for the sake of this fanfiction it's Rose), she's 10 years old. Emmett is the next oldest, he's eight, then Jasper & Alice who are both six (twins). Edward and Bella are both five but not twins. And finally little Renesmee who's one. I'm hoping I get the personalities right, oh and two more things. They're not together, with the exception of Edward and Bella; they're related, again with the exception of Bella. Hope you enjoy it.

At the Cullens house, Jacob's POV

It was 4pm and I was finally having a bit of peace, which was not usually happened. Esme, the kids' mom, called me around two, asking me if I could babysit the kids for a little while. I've been babysitting the kids for just over a month now, all six of them, there was usually seven when Charlie left little Bella over, but Bella was at a party today, Edward told me. Seriously, that kid is in love with her, ask Edward any question on Bella, for example the food she would order if they ever went to a restaurant he would immediately say, "that's easy, she would order mushroom ravioli and coke!" the kid knows everything about her, if I didn't know any better I would say Bella has herself a stalker.

It was a little too quiet, I checked the clock. 4:10pm, it's only been half-an-hour since I arrived and no noise from any of them. Rose was supposed to be doing her homework, just like Emmett, Alice and Jasper, but I doubt Emmett was doing anything. Edward was in the back garden, swinging, probably thinking about Bella, and Nessie was sitting on the floor in front of me, watching Looney toons. They were good kids, underneath, just not on the surface. Rose was only 10, but the way she acted it was almost like she was 16. Emmett was 8, but he sure didn't act like it, he acts more like a three year old, even Nessie, who is only one, acts more mature than him. Nessie's at the stage of just being able to toddle about, and her vocabulary is limited to around six phrases and words, "uh oh," "no!", "mama," "dada," "juice," and "Bad Emmie," (I taught her that one). Jasper and Alice were both six, they act their age, most of the time. Edward and Bella were both five, but not related. Bella's Charlie's kid, the Cullens were Carlisle and Esme's kids.

It was just then when I heard a crash from upstairs. A feeling of half relief and half annoyance washed over me. Relief cause they're still alive up there, and annoyance cause whatever they've done, it isn't good. Nessie turned round and was staring at me with her big brown eyes, her small hands covering her mouth and a shocked expression on her face.

"Uh oh," she said.

"Uh oh is right," I replied, "keep you watching Looney toons Ness, I'll be back in a moment." She turned back round to face the TV happily while I got up and started heading upstairs. I could hear them whispering to each other by the time I got to the top of the stairs. There was a vase smashed in the hall, I stepped over it and went into Nessie's nursery, where the voices were coming from. As soon as I stepped in the door they shouted,

"HE DID IT!"

"SHE DID IT!"

"HE DID IT!"

"SHE DID IT!" all at once. I saw Alice, jasper, Rose and Emmett all standing round a broken table, which was completely ripped apart, a wooden table! Alice was pointing at Emmett, Emmett was pointing at Rose, Rose was pointing at Jasper and Jasper was pointing at Alice, all with guilty expressions on their faces. It didn't take a master mind to find out who did it. I raised an eyebrow at them.

"IT WASN'T ME!" They all shouted. I clamped a hand over Emmett's mouth, since he was the loudest.

"Do you want to wake china?" I asked them quietly. There was a sharp pain in my hand so I pulled it back from Emmett's mouth as quickly as I could, muttering "Ow."

"Yes!" Emmett shouted.

I looked down at my hand and there were seven bite marks and little droplets of blood. I shook my hand, trying to get rid of the pain and grabbed Emmett by the scruff of the neck and took him downstairs. The other little monsters followed.

I set Emmett down in the kitchen and went to sink to run my hand under cold water to clean it. By the time I got back to Emmett he was spinning around and around on his chair, a huge grin on his face. Why did I set him on that chair? I growled and held on to his shoulders, stopping him from spinning.

"Because of you I'll have to get a tetanus injection," I whispered. Emmett only chuckled, jumped down from chair and walked off. Why did I ever offer to babysit these kids, oh yeah, I know why, still, I should have never taken on this job.

I grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit I always brought with me from my backpack and wrapped it round my hand. I ran back upstairs and starting trying to clean up the mess the little monsters made. I set all the wood outside, in case the kids got splinters in their hands. I put the broken vase in the bin and locked all the doors upstairs, making sure none of the kids were in them so I wouldn't be reported for child abuse and came back down stairs to find all six kids sitting watching Looney toons with Ness.

"Jake?" a little voice said. I looked down and saw Alice; she was so tiny I almost didn't see her. I got down to her height.

"Where do Babies come from?" she asked, a confused expression on her tiny features. I wasn't really sure how to answer that, she was only six years old! I wasn't going to tell her of course, I mean, I didn't find out til I was fourteen. Rose's eyes flashed with knowledge, I warned her with my eyes to keep her mouth shut.

"Ask your Daddy, Al, he'll tell you when you're older," I told her. Her little eyebrows came down,

"But I wanna know now," she complained.

"I know kid, but that's a topic for when you're older, you're too young right now,"

"I wanna know!" she insisted.

"When mommy and daddy love each other very much," Rose started, but I cut in before she could say any more,

"They call the stork," I said quickly, Rose smiled sweetly, I shot her a you're going to get it look and continued, "they call the stork and ask for a baby, they get a little seed and plant it in the garden,"

"Like a cabbage!" said Jasper.

"Yeah Jazz, like a cabbage. So whenever that little seed is all fully grown mommy and daddy got a little baby to take care of," I finished, hoping for no more questions.

"But if we're cabbage patch kids, why do mommy and daddy give us cabbage to eat? Aren't we eating babies?" asked Emmett.

"No!" I said quickly when I saw the look of disgust on Al's little face, "cause cabbages are a veggie, and you aren't veggies."

"What are we then?" asked Edward.

Just then Carlisle came in the door, I grabbed my bag as quickly as I could and ran to the door,

"They're all yours," I said to Carlisle, I patted him on the shoulder and ran out the door.

"Jacob, what happened to your hand?" he asked before I made it out. I turned and smiled at Emmett,

"Ask Emmett," I told him and ran off. I'd had enough for one day, plus I had to go to the hospital for an injection. Oh joy.

I know it's a bit boring, and I'm really sorry for those who were reading the old version of this; I hope this version's a bit better. Still open to ideas and I'll make sure to use them if Idea's are put in. Again, really sorry for re-doing the whole thing, it was easier just to start over. Review and tell me what you think. Oh, one more thing, I was thinking to maybe have some sort of question at the end of every chapter, just to make it all more fun, and whoever gets it right first can be like a guest character in the next chapter, let me know what you guys think of that idea. If you like it, I'll tell you more in Chapter two. Thanks.