It Wasn't All Bad

by Kats Flower Girls

Paul is becoming a father and he's not sure about it, but in the end he figures out that being a father is a good thing.

This story was written for the "Father's Day" one shot contest on

The Two Sides of Twilight II Forum (link is on my profile)

If you would like to vote for my story please go to:

http (:/) forum (.) fanfiction (.) net/topic/75487/26368924/1/#26629224

Voting will be open until Monday June 7th, 2010

This one-shot was inspired by a photo of Alex Meraz (Paul) and his wife. http(:/)horiwood(.)files(.)wordpress(.)com/2009/03/alex-meraz-wife-3(.)jpg

Thank you to Hannah (i-heart-kovu) - http(:/)www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2049038/ for encouraging me to finish when I had a nasty case of writers block, helping by giving me an idea when I was stuck and for your crazy fast Beta skills!

I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like to get them pregnant!

OOO

It Wasn't All Bad

- Paul's POV -

"Did you drink at least 16 oz of water?"

"Have you urinated in the last 2 hours?"

"Are you enrolled in a birthing class yet?"

Rachel nodded her head as the nurse continued hurling a barrage of questions. I followed behind them in a daze. My eye's moved from one picture to the next, hung in simple black frames which lined the long hall of the obstetrician's office. Each frame contained a black and white photo, just like the one's I had been staring at in the waiting room. All the pictures had the words 'Colville Studio's' in bright white cursive written on the lower right hand corner and all followed the same theme, the joys of parenthood.

Many of the pictures were of happy pregnant women, with their hands loving placed on their large bellies. In other pictures the woman's protruding stomach was being kissed by the father or older sibling. There were even a few scattered pictures of naked newborns being held in their parent's arms. The subject's facial expressions ranged from ecstatic to reverent, none of them looked like I felt right now, scared shitless.

One picture in particular had me reeling in my own thoughts. It was a picture of a firefighter wearing only his helmet and fire resistant pants, clutching his sleeping child to his bare chest. The look on his face was so serene, so sure he could protect and love his child and give it everything it needs… and I wished I could have an ounce of the conviction he had.

I vaguely thought of what the photographer would think if asked to take a picture of an infant nestled in the paws of a two ton grey wolf. Obviously I could never have my picture taken in my work uniform, I had chuckled to myself.

"Please disrobe from the waste down and put on the cover I laid out for you. Your Doctor will be in shortly for your exam and then you'll get that ultrasound, you're so excited for!" The nurse started out professionally then finished with playful friendliness… but I wasn't really listening, I was thinking about how I got into this situation.

It was one of my late nights. I had been out running patrol until 4 am. When I arrived, I made my way through our home quietly, not that I ever made much noise when I moved, always careful not to wake my sleeping wife. But to my surprise, as I walked into our bedroom, I saw her small frame stir under the heavy down comforter she covered herself with while I was absent from her bed.

This was odd; she usually just sighed her contentment at my return and lapsed into an even deeper sleep. I moved closer to our bed and threw the despised comforter, a symbol of our separation, onto the floor. That's when I smelled it… it was fire and desire all wrapped up in longing… Rachel was in heat.

"Crap!" I muttered to myself, so quietly I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me. I was not happy as I realized I would go at least another 2 or 3 nights with no sleep. I could never sleep when my inner wolf was incessantly screaming at me, demanding that I take my imprint in the most primal of ways and place my seed deep inside of her.

I pictured myself walking into a cage as I climbed into our bed, because that is where I would have to place my inner wolf to survive these next few days. I reminded myself it wasn't all bad. Rachel was extra horney when she was in heat and had no qualms about going down on me and letting me reciprocate instead of our usual nightly double.

We had made this decision together after both Emily and Kim got pregnant while on birth control. Damn wolf genes would pass themselves on to the next generation and no prophylactic invented by humans would deter them, except for abstinence.

Ug, abstinence! I hated the word! It tormented me and robbed me of my rest, but I never let Rachel know that. If she knew that her oral ministrations only diminished my pain instead of relieving it, she would convince me to give in… and I would.

The next word that crossed my mind is the one that kept me silent in my suffering, the word that scared me enough to give me the strength I needed to resist, the word I feared more than abstinence… father.

That word when applied to myself, even just in thought, sent a cold shiver down my spine the way no vampires venom coated teeth could even hold a candle to.

I'd spent most of my life with very little interaction from my father; he left my mom as soon as things got too tough. All I received from him for years was a sporadic check and birthday card now and then. He came back to the rez when I was a teenager; toting a ditzy, big boobed, bleached blonde teenage girlfriend not much older than me.

Her name was Peaches of all things, but to give her credit, she tried to be all motherly to me. She would invite me over for time with my father once a week, every Sunday evening. She would even try to cook, but most of the time we ended up eating frozen meals. She would ask me how my week went and about my activities at school but my dad was never too into it. Most of the time dad and I would just sit in front of the TV. Every now and then Peaches would join us and flirt with me when he wasn't paying attention. After a few years of trying to make my fathers version of parenting work, I gave up and told them I wanted to quit visiting. My father seemed relieved though it made Peaches sad.

My own fears of repeating my father's mistakes were only part of what was holding me back. I had also seen, through the pack mind, how whiny and demanding both Emily and Kim had gotten when they where pregnant. How their once sexy, curvaceous bodies began to swell and blimp up into the most unattractive size. How after the baby was born they couldn't have sex for weeks and even after the doctor approved it again, they were too tired for it after taking care of their little screaming terrors all day and night.

I have no idea how Sam and Jared could stand it! Through all the bitching and moaning, they never saw it as extra trouble to them. I didn't want to be like that! Having an imprint made me weak enough, without bending completely over like they did.

"This is the first time you'll get to see our baby moving! The baby is so much bigger now then in those last ultrasound pictures I brought home." my wife's voice brought me back from my thoughts. "Paul, aren't you so excited!"

Rachel slowly ran her hand over her enlarged belly then looked up at me. The smile that radiated from her face was magnificent. She glowed. She exuded pure joy! I found myself genuinely returning her smile. Yeah, it wasn't all bad. Rachel being this happy put me on cloud nine right along with her and the feeling was addicting.

Flashes of memories from the last four months flooded my mind. Rachel and I painting the nursery, getting more paint on each other then we did on the walls. Then abandoning the half painted room for spending the whole night in each others arms. Rachel humming while she walked around the house holding her hand over her stomach. The light in her eyes when she got back from the store with the tiny little cream and beige sleeper she declared would be the baby's coming home outfit.

Every one of those moments, and during so many others, I had felt so peaceful, so happy. Her joy relieved all my tension and chased away all my doubts.

"Ya, babe!" I answered simply.

"Are we gonna find out if it's a boy or girl?" She questioned. I still hadn't answered this, though she had asked so many times. Ug, good feelings gone. Now I remember what I don't like about my imprint being pregnant, the nagging! It never ended!

She said she wanted my impute on everything, but when I finally broke down and told her what I liked best, she very rarely used any of my suggestions. She wanted to know my favorite color for the nursery room. I finally said blue, but she said she liked green better. She wanted me to pick names, but when I said William, after her father, she said she liked the name John better, after her mothers little brother. There was never a right answer and there was no pleasing her!

I groaned, not bothering to make it quiet. She knew this was a bad subject with me because she desperately wanted a girl, but I knew we would have a boy. Both Sam and Jared had sons. There were still vampires living a few miles away, so of course the wolf in us will breed more boys, who will grow up to be protectors.

My only comfort was that the Cullen's couldn't stay around for much longer due to their lack of ageing. When they leave, maybe our children will not phase like we did. Though, I guess I wouldn't mind my son becoming a protector like me. It was hard work, but it had its perks; family, camaraderie, strength, speed, and adventure! It wasn't all bad.

If I really let myself think about it though, I wanted a girl! I hoped the baby would be a little girl that looks just like her mother. I can picture her running around the house in pigtails, dancing and singing a little song she just made up.

It was a precarious choice, whether to find out the baby's sex. I didn't want to know, because I was afraid it would be a boy. Rachel would be crushed and though I would admit it to no one, so would I.

Just then the doctor came in. Rachel had told me that her name was Dr. Joy and she had chosen her because of the name. Dr. Joy had short spiky dirty blonde hair. She was a tiny woman with kind eyes and her smile calmed my nerves a bit.

"Hello, Rachel!" she greeted cheerfully. "And this must be your husband?" she turned to look at me holding out her hand.

"I'm Paul. Nice to meet you," I said as I shook her hand.

"Well, lets get started with the baby's heartbeat, shall we?"

I didn't know we could hear the baby's heartbeat. What would it sound like?

The doctor pulled out a small hand held device, with what looked like a microphone attached to it and a blue bottle that kinda reminded me of a ketchup bottle. She lifted Rachel's cover and squeezed some gel onto her stomach. Then she placed the microphone in the gel and swirled it around just under her belly button and above her right hip bone. I was baffled by what she was doing when I started to hear a quick wooshing sound coming from the hand held device.

Woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh… it was so fast, that couldn't be my baby's heartbeat?

"What is that?" I whispered, walking over to Rachel and grasping her hand in mine.

"It's our baby's heart!" She smiled back.

"But it's too fast! It can't be healthy!" I worried.

"Babies hearts are supposed to be that fast," Rachel answered.

"152 BPM," the Doctor explained. "Very healthy."

Wow! I looked into the joyful eyes of my wife and listened to our baby's heartbeat. I'm not sure how much time passed before the doctor removed the device and the room went silent again, for just a moment, until I realized I could still hear the baby's heartbeat, ever so faintly, jslightly quieter then Rachel's. The two beats together made the most beautiful music! How did I not notice it before? I would live for that sound for the rest of my life. Why had I kept myself so distant from it before?

The doctor placed the heart monitor on the counter and picked up a weird metal device, shaped like a gun and ran it under hot water before squeezing more of the gel on the tip. I was trying to guess what wondrous connection to my child this new tool would provide when the doctor spoke again.

"Spread your legs and try to relax."

Before I could realize what that meant, the doctor was sticking that medal gun thing in a place that belonged only to me. I growled possessively, taking a large step toward the doctor when Rachel grasped my wrist as tightly as she could.

"She has to check my cervix. It's okay." Rachel assured me and I tried to quiet my growl to below the human level of hearing, but I'm not sure if I succeeded.

"Everything looks good here," the doctor smiled reassuredly. "Go ahead and place your cloths back on. The ultrasound tech will be here in a few minutes to take you across the hall to our imaging room. I'll see you in two weeks, Rachel." Then she nodded at me, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Paul!"

"Thanks," I replied as she softly closed the door behind her.

Rachel stood and quickly dressed, slipping her feet into a pair of flip flops. Her body practically vibrated with anticipation as she sat impatiently on the exam table and swung her legs in figure eights.

Soon there was a light knock on the door and a young man with light brown hair, cropped short in the back but with long bangs over his face, poked his head around the corner.

"Hi, I'm Tim," he shook my hand, then Rachel's, "I'm going to be doing your ultrasound today."

I couldn't help but thinking this guy looked like a surfer and had to be way too young to really know what he's doing.

Tim lead us down another picture lined hallway to a thick door with a sign that read 'Medical Imaging Equipment - Please turn off your cell phones'.

"Go ahead and lay down here," Tim gestured to a small exam table with several pillows on it. I helped Rachel to lean back, adjusting the pillows to prop her up slightly so she could see the flat screen TV on the opposite wall.

Soon Tim had the large beige colored machine up and running and was pulling out another one of those blue squeeze bottles. I growled under my breath, but remembered that the doctor had asked Rachel to get dressed again before coming for the ultrasound, so he can't be meaning to put anything back… there… Letting a female doctor, my mothers age, go there was much different then it would be letting this punk kid try it.

"May I?" Tim smiled holding up the gel bottle, looking towards Rachel, who lifted her shirt to expose her swollen belly. Then he placed a large dollop of gel just below Rachel's belly button, like the doctor had a few minutes ago. He then pulled out a microphone thing similar to the Doctor's but wider and older looking and placed it on Rachel.

He swirled the stick over Rachel's belly for a few moments, then said, as if to himself, "That's perfect."

With his other hand, he reached over and grabbed a remote and turned on the TV. The sound hit me first, my babies heartbeat! It was fast, strong and now loud enough for the others in the room to hear. Then I was struck by the image before me. First it looked like a light gray bubble on a black background with something darker gray moving around inside it. Then, as Tim twirled his wand, the picture became clearer.

I saw a beating heart, then arms and legs, but what took away my breath was the face. The shape of the nose and chin of my child looked so much like the side profile of its mother, just smaller. The baby's mouth was opening and closing as if talking to us and its little fists clenched and unclenched with every jump. I watched in complete amazement as my child curled itself up into a tight ball, then stretched out its arms and pushed it legs as straight as it could, then repeated this action… the whole while I watched, the tiny heart fluttered at breakneck speed, pushing blood around it's miniture body.

"This must be your first ultrasound," Tim was smiling smugly at me.

"Yes, he had to work during my last one," Rachel explained as she pushed up under my chin, closing my gaping mouth.

"They're pretty amazing, aren't they?" Tim's voice spoke from next to me.

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement, but I didn't bother looking at him this time. I didn't want to look away from my beautiful baby for even one second.

As I stared at my child dancing around in my wife's belly, everything else in the room faded away. I vaguely heard Tim and Rachel talking about head circumference and femur length. But my whole focus was on this little being, who is half me and half the love of my life, so perfect and helpless.

I would do anything to protect and provide for it for the rest of my life. Then I got an idea. I wanted to know as much about my child as I could.

"Rachel," I looked to my wife who was smiling from ear to ear, "…I want to find out."

She immediately understood and Tim must have also, because he whispered, "It's a girl!"

My whole world fell into place at this news. Rachel was crying as she gazed up at me.

"I knew it!" She confirmed, with happiness shining from her like a beacon.

"I'm going to be a father to a little girl!" I breathed as the empowering truth of the statement spread to my soul and captured my heart. In that moment, I finally knew with out a doubt, that I could do this.

Being a father, it wasn't all bad!

OOO

My husband's name in real life is Paul and this is kinda a twilighted version of my first pregnancy and his reactions to everything. Also my OB-GYN's name really was Dr. Joy, LOL!

Hope you enjoyed it!

~Kat

P.S. I'm trying to start writing more and would love any constructive criticism to help me improve! Thank you for taking the time to review!

OOO