I place my steel lover beneath my left thumb, so tempted to give into my desire for release of the best kind. My wrist begs to be sliced open. I press down and as I do blood pools around the blade.
Not enough! It will never be enough!
I drag the instrument of death across my wrist, right over the scar. Blood spurts out of the gash in my wrist and at first I panic. But this is what I wanted, so I lift the blade and with my bleeding hand I drag the blade across my right wrist. Blood pulses out of my wrist.
"Nessa I left lots of purple for you!" I hear Brian call from the kitchen, but I can't respond. My mouth won't listen to my brain, so I press start cutting my wrists again. Once more over the spurting wrist and twice over the pulsing one.
"Nessa?" I hear as I lie down on my bed.
Go away Brian, I want to scream at him. I can't let him see me like this again.
I hear him pad down the hallway and knock on my door. "Nessa, please come out." He begs. I hear the click of my door opening.
"GRAMA!" He screams as his eyes travel around my blood soaked room.
"Vanessa!" She yells, bursting into my room. "Why?" She asks.
I shrug and anger sparks in her eyes. Not the right answer, I think to myself. "Brian, call 911!" She says, the flash of anger has dissipated into sadness. He nods and runs to the phone.
"Vanessa, try to stay awake." She looks at me and grabs my arms, she holds them above my body.
I can't see anymore, nor can I hear. I'm drowning in a navy sea.