I love him. Really I do. But my heart first belonged to another, and in my heart I know that he, he is just the consolation prize. He is sweeter and less sure of himself, but not he doesn't make me laugh like I used to or make me go weak in the knees like I once did. Sometimes I hate him for being him and the one I love. But I don't hate him. Every time I look at him I tear open old wounds. Because I am not seeing him. I am seeing a beautiful smile, and laughing face with dead eyes. I do love him, I really, really do. It's just hard when you are married to mirror image of your lost love.