This is what a real love would be like only one person's view all the worries and little to no suicidal thoughts I'm not saying that doesn't happen cause I know it does I just think you can get your grit and upset from somewhere other than self-harm. You don't get to see what the other person is thinking no matter how much you want to we've all fancied someone before and know the angst you get, this is what I want to show how it really would work. However this is in no way and anti-Phan there will be fluff and sexual THEMES not full out porn if you need that there is many, many … many other sites for that but I'm not promising anything for the ending even I don't know!

I don't know about what to do, I'm not gay am I? No. That much is clear. There is no way in hell I'm gay I can't be I've had girlfriends … more than one, two, three. I can't count them on one hand I'm in my 20's and I've had more girlfriends than I do fingers … oh god so glad no one heard that … it would be weird .. They'd stare at me … again. Why do I talk allowed?

"Because you don't talk when people are listening so hope someone will listen to you now and answer all your problems"

Oh god that was out loud? Why can't I be normal?

"Because normal is boring"

The muffled voice came from. If you didn't know my house from a poster above my bed however shockingly I do know my house and its layout and on the other side of that wall is one Phillip Lester. I stalked him on the internet … well sort of, and then we became friends and moved into each other. Not how most stalkers end up, and he trusts me which is weird I thought he would only tell me the things he would tell his fans, but no the things I could tell you about the boy who was leaning on the wall opposite me probably assuming the "internet position" as we have dubbed it and picking things for the new video we plan to do together we don't want to do a Phil is not on fire or AmazingDan depending on who you watch but something similar answer some questions make a joke, but take the questions seriously

"Maybe you could join me for a truth or dare video?"

"Finally talking to me on purpose then?" he said in mock upset I could tell he was grinning, widely

"Nope I was talking to your lion" is said my smile must've been evident as well

"He's not a thing he is a person, he is not a lion or my lion like this is my laptop "I hear him tap on the laptop lightly "his name is Lion like you are Dan not a Dan"

I've heard this speech so many times I know exactly what he is going to say next.

Then a high pitched voice like when an adult copies a child to annoy them "No why would I work with you I've got a good gig with Phil here I don't need any more cameo's"

"I guess that means Phil won't want to be in my videos anymore" I say playing along

"Well I never said that" he says half-heartedly and the dance is finished he says he'll ask for some truth and dares IF he made him a tea.

So I have to get up but it's only half one in the after-noon the lazy part of me whined but I got up, I didn't put anything on as my boxers covered enough I made tea for me as well put two sugars in mine and one sugar, one salt in Phil's and brought them back in I put my tea in Phil's favourite mug and his tea in mine. I gave him his cup with my tea in it. Then he switched for my cup with his tea in it smiled a thank you and I left closed the door and waited.

"Yuck, Dan I really hate you" he said I opened the door and laughed at him, not to be mean but his face was cute when he was upset. Wait? Cute? When have I ever though anyone was cute when they were upset, let alone Phil. He was my friend that's it. Well I did just get up. Slip of the tongue.

"As it were." Phil said his eyes twinkling and silently laughing at me

"What's what?" I ask genuinely not following the conversation

"What's a slip of the tongue?" Oh shit he knows, wait no he doesn't lie Dan quick!

"I keep dropping my t's and it's pissing me off" well done now you sound like a grammar Nazi. Wow I spend too much time on tumblr. I should do a video on that one day not today, not today

"That's alright we knew there would be side effects to living in London. I thought it would be getting black lungs losing our teeth and living of chips and scones. Not talking like commoners" I couldn't help but laugh at that and I don't know anyone who couldn't. 'Cause let's face it he's funny.

Then a knock on the door I reluctantly got some trousers on and a top for good measure. I swung the door open and grunted as a hello. What I saw amazed me a what looked like 19 year old looking down the hall with a bag filled with badges and other nerdy stuff pinned too it so you could barely see the original design and glasses, not thick but not sleek either they weren't on his face but have one of the arm things, whatever they're called in a pocket with the rest hanging out. I coughed politely and he turned and jumped a little that's when Dan got see the him properly he was about the same height as Dan if not slightly taller he had a crooked half smile and eyes that just made you want to trust him. I don't want to talk about what happened the last time I trusted someone like that.

"Hello? Hello? Anything in there?" he said with a slight laugh and shot me another crooked smile

"Oh ugh yea sorry I was in my own little world for a second." I Mumbled

"I thought so are own worlds are so much better right?" before I could answer he spoke again

"I just moved in and thought I'd take the temperature for where I live and I hope you don't mind that I knocked I'm not bothering you am I?" he said all at once not a chance of stopping

"No not at all. Me and my roommate…"

"My roommate and I" he corrected then added "sorry it's a force of habit"

"It's fine I hate it when other people do it too it's getting cold do you want to come in at all?"

He seemed Happy at that and nodded. Oh god I have no idea who this person is he could be mine or Phi's stalker oh well only one way to find out

"Indeed" he said "there is only one way to find out anything"

Not again

"We have company Phil make yourself decent!" I say to the door

"But that takes effort can't he just see me how I am" I whined

"Not if you want him to leave here sane" I say

"Is that an option?"

"NO"

"Please sit down would you like a tea or a coffee?" I ask with I grin on my face for no reason.

"Tea please" he says "No milk one sugar"

Coming right up I say

"I brought over some homemade brownies if you'd like one. I thought I'd be all neighbourly and such" He says yet again cracking a smile.

"That would Be lovely"

End of Part One on a cliff hanger you know all suspensey (yup that's a word deffo) first off please ignore all spelling mistakes if it's unreadable tell me but no Grammar Nazi's please this is my first ever written Phanfiction. I have written leave review please I want to know what I could improve on. I want this to be as much your phanfiction as it is mine. Taraaaa