Author's Note:
Hi, and happy Christmas/Hannukah/Yule.
Thought I'd just post a little fic for the holidays and to thank Cjmarie for returning to the fandom to finish ZT. I haven't reviewed, I'm a bad friend.
Here you go my friends.
B.Y.O.B., By Hikishi
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing I asked Santa to get me the rights for Christmas but he gave me a lump of coal. wonder what that means?
Pairings: err, 3x4, 5xS kind of, tiny, tiny smidge of 1x2.
Warnings: Drama, Language, Smart and Nice Relena
Genres: Drama, Friendship, Holidays
B.Y.O.B.
When life gave you lemons, make lemonade. Then piss in the jar and sell it, Solo had always told Duo. That's exactly what he felt he'd ended up with this December.
This year had officially sucked.
It was a culmination of things really. First, there was the paperwork incident in February, then, it was the stupid assignment that had gotten Wufei accidentally shot in the ass. Sally still was wreaking her revenge during his physicals, a lesson to him, that women were not good dating material as they could hold a grudge for a long time.
Things hadn't gotten any better after that. In fact, it just went from but to worse. May saw Hilde leaving him, claiming that he was gay, and in love with Heero, a fact he'd vehemently denied. No way! Heero was his best friend, but jeez Hil, he wasn't in love with the guy!
Summer had been a bitch, with way too many crimes, not enough Preventers, and heatstroke being the direct result of a broken AC at headquarters.
Just when things seemed to be looking up in June, reality had slapped him up the side of the head and yelled 'Hello! I'm want to ruin your life and I'm damn well going to!' with an insane chuckle. He'd lost count of how many times he'd spent the night on his own couch because Trowa had once again had a fight about his stifled lifestyle living with Quatre and run over to his for space. He couldn't even remember a time when Quatre himself wasn't cussing him a blue streak for letting Trowa hide out. And that was before he'd even hit September, which, coincidentally, had been about the time he'd gotten suspended for the fight that his partner at the time had started.
Duo had no idea how many partners he'd had since starting work with Preventers. Coincidentally, this same partner had lost it and held two others hostage at headquarters one night, prompting a middle of the night phonecall from screaming Une, telling him to sort this out of she'd have his badge.
Trowa had shuffled into his lounge barely five minutes later to inform him that he was thinking of getting a divorce and Quatre had been texting him on the hour every hour trying to get him to kick his fiance out of his apartment.
October was very tidily rounded off with another assignment that had him hanging upside down, nearly drowning, being hit on repeatedly by a cross dresser and getting stranded, in the middle of nowhere, for three damn weeks. The direct result of this was that he'd missed not only thanksgiving, but also Heero's birthday. Which he'd actually planned and funded. The big bash had everyone talking about it for weeks afterward and Duo being subjected to disappointed smiles and his best friends saying, 'you should have been there, Duo, it was great!'
So he'd decided to plan the best Christmas anyone had ever seen and invite his friends over for a few days. He shouldn't have even attempted to pull it off, in all reality, not with the way the year was shaping up. But no, Duo was ever the optimist. He could do it!
December was practically hell on earth. He'd lost yet another partner. Been buried under paperwork that wasn't even his. He'd been beaten to the last Christmas tree by a pensioner with a walking frame, pegged for a thief at the mall when he'd accidentally left a store without paying for one of his presents, electrocuted himself trying to set up lights for the holidays in a neighbouring apartment, forgotten to donate to Relena's war orphan fund (earning him the new status of goodwill murderer at work), caught a cold, gotten an eviction notice from his landlord, dropped Quatre's present accidentally and smashed it, been conned into working Christmas eve, burnt the turkey, been robbed, and forgotten to pay his electric bill, meaning not only did he have no presents, no food, and no power, he also had no time to fix it.
About the only thing he'd managed to do was zing an email off to Relena (ironically, the only person in his contacts list still on civil terms with him, and settled down in a shivering heap by the window which looked over an alley to another brick wall and commiserated.
This year bites. Duo thought. And I can't wait for it to be over.
His doorbell began to ring insistently for a minute, before giving up the ghost and his caller resorted to knocking on the door instead. He decided to just ignore whatever harbinger of more bad news was darkened his no longer leased apartment. Probably just the landlord.
However Duo had of course, forgotten to lock his door, and his visitor walked straight in.
Trowa.
Duo's shoulders slumped in defeat. Another fight. Fan-fucking-tabulous.
"Duo."
"...What now." He enquired to the heavens, and coincidentally, a God he neither believed in nor liked very much at the moment. "I don't get it. I really truly don't. Whatever small defenceless creature I killed, whatever candy I stole from a baby, I don't fucking remember, so please, I'm begging you, just stop. There's punishment, there's karma, but this? This is just pure sadism."
Trowa blinked.
"Duo, are you all right? Have you been drinking?"
"I wish."
He was cold, he was hungry, and he was broke. Exactly like he had been on L2. The only difference was back then he'd had his friends. He'd had Solo.
"Why are you sitting in the dark?"
Duo didn't even flinch.
"Thought I'd wing it this year." Came the flippant sounding answer. "You know, cook dinner over a candle and make presents out of matchsticks."
"I'll just put this..." Trowa held up his bag and made to go for the kitchen and Duo laughed.
"I wouldn't." The statement caused his friend to turn back and eye him quizzically. You might bump into something or fall over and break your leg or...or go back in time, or suffocate on the gas fumes and then die and then Quatre would sue my ass and have me put to death-"
"Put you to death? Why would I put you to death?"
A completely bewildered Quatre had now entered his apartment (oh, wait he was now a squatter), and was also looking at him in confusion. Duo smiled, a genuinely scary grin.
"Just take him Quatre. I'm in no mood for this. You can go home and fight to your heart's content together."
"Duo, what are you on about?"
"Trowa's come here, alone. With a bag. He's obviously flown the coop again."
"Wrong."
Duo's face looked surprised.
"What?"
"We came over to celebrate Christmas." Quatre explained, showing Duo his own bag.
The other man just stared at him.
"Hello!" Sally called as she stumbled in with Wufei behind her, both weighed down by bags. "Gods these things weigh a ton! Thank you Trowa." She added as the tall man graciously took her burdens. Once unloaded, she made a beeline for Duo as she fished in her pocket, finally pulling out a bottle of water and a bottle of pills. "Here, take two."
Her patient decided she still obviously wasn't done with her revenge and swallowed two without a blink. He wasn't prepared for Sally to rest her hand on his forehead and snap her fingers at Wufei.
"What, woman?"
"Grab me that blanket?"
Moments later Duo was wrapped up in a soft blanket, and still wondering what the hell the guys were doing here. He stared as Quatre spread a blanket on the floor and enlisted Trowa in unpacking the bags. Wufei set storm candles around the room.
As Alice would say, curiouser and curiouser.
Relena hurried by him, and Duo blinked. When had she gotten here?
"Une sent some wine and cheese. Something about how she'd been complaining the last few months."
"Oh, I get it!" Quatre called from the remnants of the kitchen with a laugh. " 'Would you like some cheese to go with your whine?' Never pegged Midii for GSOH in a personals ad."
"She has her moments." Came the bright reply as Relena-Queen-of-the-world, knelt on the floor and pour everyone a plastic beaker of wine from a carton.
"Hey."
"HEERO!" was the rousing chorus as the man graced them with his presence.
"Heard it was a bring your own beer and anything else party."
Party? Duo looked around in surprise. Where?
Heero was already emptying his load and adding it to the blanket spread on the floor. And it was the strangest collection of food and drink he'd ever seen.
Sat net to Une's cheese basket was a plate of curried goat. Catty-corner to that, Wufei had placed a huge bowl of Hae Sum Tung soup. Relena had brought caviar and a selection of unmentionable hors d'ouvres. From Sally's bags a plate of Vermicelli and meatballs was unearthed. Trowa had donated home-cooked escargot and German sausage. And Heero had not forgotten to bring utensils, along with a family sized pizza and a large box of tofu. Somehow a dish containing Sukyaki and a covered bowl of salad had appeared, shortly joined by saltfish. A bottle of absinthe stood innocently next to a six pack of cream soda and in front of a bottle of sake.
"What the..."
"I'm not queen of the world because I'm pretty, Maxwell." Relena said with an unladylike snort. "I figured it out, and everyone got the ear bashing they deserve. Even Hilde."
Five pairs of cheeks turned a light pink.
"You...you did this?"
"Yes." She smiled. "I'm not stupid, Duo, I've been listening to everyone the last few months. Une complaining about her staff, Quatre going on about Trowa running to yours, Sally moaning about how you let Wufei get hurt, Hilde feeling misled, all of it. None of this was your fault. And they all should know better than to take their anger out on someone else."
"Wh-what?"
"Don't you get it?" Heero interjected smoothly "Everyone's been blaming you for their own shortcomings this year. It took a slap from Relena to set us all straight."
Quatre smiled sadly.
"We're really sorry Duo. I heard about how you were robbed and I've spoken to the building manager. I don't like that man at all, by the way." He added with a scowl. "We'll help you move into another apartment in the new year."
"In the mean while, you can come and stay at mine if you want." Heero offered. "Or Relena's"
"Une's given you a bonus and a few weeks off paid whilst you get some rest and relax." Sally put in with a grin. Trowa was next to speak.
"I thought maybe you'd want to take a weekend trip to the circus with me."
"Let us help you." Was Wufei's second sentence that evening. "It's what you've been doing for us all along."
Duo gave a tremulous smile and slid off the windowsill to sink down beside Relena, accepting the beaker of wine.
"Thanks guys." He said, feeling pride well up in his chest. "I couldn't have got through this year without you."