A/N: This story does contain a small Season Three spoiler, so if you'd like to keep everything a mystery, you may want to turn back now. Also, there isn't any direct Kessi interaction in this chapter, though there IS still some implications of the pair. The next chapter shall be focused on the two of them (basically), however, so have no fear, fellow Kessi fans!
A/N #2: While this idea has been introduced to this fandom before, it is purely coincidence that another author (whose name escapes me at the present time) used the same spoiler as basis for her own idea. Our basis may be the same, but our stories have separate ideas driving them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kyle XY or anything affiliated with it. The show and its characters belong to ABC Family and whatever other company that's helping to make it such a wonderful series.
Afraid
Jessi had moved into the Trager house a week ago today. She'd simply appeared on their doorstep one Seattle afternoon, crying pitifully and soaking wet from having run furiously through the downpour that had decided to strike, as it so frequently did in the overcast, waterlogged town. She'd had nowhere else to go, and as was the Trager thing to do, the whole family, but especially Kyle, insisted she live with them.
The reason for her tears came quickly after she had been anxiously ushered into the house, been given a change of clothes, and covered in numerous blankets by Kyle: Sarah.
The woman had, apparently, abruptly come to the realization that she wouldn't be the best Mom to Jessi, having not been in extensive human contact for twenty years. Thus, Sarah had left her in Seattle, hoping the Tragers would take the girl in, which they did.
It was a noble decision, Jessi understood, as Sarah had only been trying to do what was best for her, but it had also been reckless, and hurt immensely nonetheless. Her Mom hadn't realized Jessi had risked everything, even Kyle, to make her happy. The poor girl hadn't been moving for her own sake; she hadn't even the heart to suggest her desire to stay.
Living with the Tragers as Jessi now was, she finally felt as if things were going to get better. She could begin to live her life with the family she'd always wanted and be happy for the first time.
She was wrong.
It was exactly one week ago that the nightmares started, and they had occurred every night since. They got worse as each night blended into the next, and because she was temporarily sharing Lori's room, the redhead was normally the one to wake her from the nighttime struggles.
Each time, Jessi asked the same thing of Lori: don't tell Kyle. So far, it appeared as if Lori had kept her word, though it was obvious she was reluctant to do so.
She could sense the strain of the burden and guilt of keeping the information from her brother were weighing down on her friend, and she didn't want to witness another happening such as the one Lori had told her.
It had happened when Kyle first moved in, and Lori, who was supposed to be watching him at her job, had left him at home to spy on Declan, seeing as she had lost her job and hadn't figured out how to tell her parents; Josh, on the other hand, had tricked Kyle into finishing his Algebra test for him, if only because he was having video game withdrawals and thought he'd be let off the hook if he got a good grade, which he could only do with Kyle's 'help'.
In the end, Kyle couldn't take the guilt of lying to either Stephen or Nicole and blurted everything, getting both children into trouble for deceiving their parents. Kyle was left feeling horrible about getting Lori and Josh punished because of him, even though Nicole and Stephen both insisted their scheming children were wrong and he had done the right thing.
She was torn between hurting her friends and hurting herself. Jessi didn't want Lori feeling as Kyle had, and she certainly didn't want Kyle to be hurt if he should have to find out from someone else…or that he had to find out and worry for her at all. However, if she went on like this…
She found she could never get back to sleep after Lori awoke her from the horrendous nightmares, and so, she had no other choice but to stay awake the rest of the night. Lori had volunteered numerous times to sacrifice her sleep along with her, but Jessi wasn't about to allow her to do that. She knew she could make it at least a week or more without sleep, but she knew for a fact a normal human like Lori couldn't survive long under such circumstances.
Thus, she would contemplate all of the family pictures on the wall in the hallway, particularly one they'd taken the day she'd moved in.
Kyle's arm was around her there, a giant grin flashed in the camera's direction, and a small smile played on her own lips in reaction. Somehow, the sparkling in Kyle's eyes had, and still did, pointed her to one thing: he wanted her here.
Everyone else in the family beamed as well, including Lori and Josh, who had squeezed themselves in beside she and Kyle, Stephen and Nicole sitting on chairs in front of all of them and holding each other's hands firmly.
It seemed to her, which brought forth a joyful feeling indeed, that they, too, wanted her here; enjoyed her presence alongside theirs.
Bringing her eyes away from Kyle after a long moment, she gazed with a strange emotion of confused adoration at the two clasped hands belonging to Stephen and Nicole.
There was such strength in their relationship; such trust and love. She could only imagine what that was like, to have the one person for whom you care the most forever bonded to you through a few words, a kiss, and a specially formed band of metal fashioned to cradle a specific diamond.
Here, in this very dark hallway, everything seemed…tranquil, yet frightening. Everything had a scary side, and she knew why: her nightmares.
Her nightmares had started all of this and she hoped they would end it as well. Unfortunately, that theory hadn't come through for her yet, and she was beginning to lose faith in it.
Inside her heart, she knew she could survive a long while without sleep, but after becoming accustomed to sleeping every night for the past several months since she had consciously been introduced to the world, she wasn't sure how long she would last.
Honestly, though she didn't want to admit it, she could feel her eyes and body begging for sleep as her eyelids drooped almost unnoticeably, her feet dragging on the floor just the smallest bit with each step.
However, she couldn't let anything else slip; not her speech, her mind, or her awareness. Nothing. For she knew, should her guard be down for even the shortest second, Kyle would see, and…she couldn't think any further, for fear of allowing her heart to become heavier than it already was.
"Jessi?" She whirled around in an instant, incredibly startled, short brown hair somewhat painfully slapping her in the face as she did so. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open in fright, unsure of what to say to the woman who'd found her standing so concentrated in the hallway in the dead of night.
Nicole was dressed in her beautiful, pearl-white, silk pajamas, a small magenta jacket pulled around her shoulders; her blond hair was in disarray from sleep, and her eyes as well as her posture revealed her tired, yet alert status.
Mrs. Trager walked down the last stair to touch the wood floor with her light slippers and made her way past the kitchen to place a hand on Jessi's forehead, relinquishing it after a few seconds and replacing one motherly gesture with another: the creased eyebrows and frown, meaning worry.
"You don't have a fever, but I can feel you're not breathing," Immediately realizing she was right, Jessi quickly breathed deeply, seeing as she'd forgotten to do so during her shock of being caught. "That's better. Now, onto the bigger question: What are you doing up at this time of night? Did you come down for a midnight snack, or…is it something else?"
Nicole's eyes scrutinized her, and Jessi inwardly gulped and swallowed her fear; those psychiatry tricks could work on anybody, even her, but especially now.
"I couldn't sleep. Whenever that happens, I look at this picture of all of us. It reminds me of how safe and loved I feel here. I've never really had that before, you know; at least, not permanently or sincerely…but, you already know about that."
She hung her head and laughed a bit to try to throw off some of the hurt that flooded her soul at the implied mention of Sarah and Brian. Her voice had sounded quite hoarse to her ears, and she was sure Nicole had picked up on it, too, for the woman tenderly rubbed her shoulder in comfort.
"Well, let's get you back up to bed for now. We'll save the Mom/psychiatrist speech about why you can't fall asleep for later today, when I'm actually able to see in this house."
Jessi nodded and raised her head to deliver a small, grateful smile, Nicole placing a gentle hand on her upper back as they walked up the stairs and quietly sneaked into Lori's room. They tiptoed over to Jessi's makeshift bed of several pillows and blankets wrapped encasing one another and Mrs. Trager affectionately secured the comforter around her charge when she was settled.
Nicole leaned down and kissed the teenager for a lengthy moment on the forehead, Jessi closing her eyes and inaudibly sighing at the sensations of belonging and love that came along with the simple contact. The older woman pulled away slowly, her hand making a tender movement through Jessi's curly hair as her eyes bored into the younger's meaningfully.
"Everything will be okay, Jessi. I promise." The girl nodded silently, staring straight back into her replacement Mom's eyes, afraid that, if she spoke, the shaking of her voice would give away the pain behind the tears that had unexpectedly overcome her vision.
Patting her lower leg reassuringly and as a form of goodnight, Nicole softly withdrew herself from the room, closing the door even more quietly.
Jessi sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling after closing her eyes for a stretched second and then opening them: now, what?
The warmth of the comforter upon her, as well as the combined body heat from both she and Lori wafting throughout the room, and particularly the exhaustion she hadn't wanted to admit was there all began to overwhelm her at once.
She could feel her vision fading already, along with the wetness of the tears that had previously clouded her eyes as they cascaded down her face, a few sticking to her eyelashes when her eyes finally closed.
She didn't want to fall asleep, of course. No, as that had been her mission since the day the nightmares had started: to stay awake once she'd been awoken. However, it had technically been eight days since she'd gotten an entire night's sleep, and it seemed, no matter how hard she resisted or denied it, she just couldn't handle anything more.
Despite what she wished or how she struggled, it appeared as if she would finally have to admit defeat. That thought alone caused her to understand just what she was doing to herself; she was breaking, losing grip because she was afraid to sleep, lest the scarring night terrors attack her again.
She had admitted many things before, except for one; one which had been expressed, but not thrown out there in words like dice in a casino, where it could then be manipulated and morphed. Not until now.
Jessi, Experiment 781228, was afraid.
A/N: I certainly hope you enjoyed this, and the next chapter/sequel (still have to decide which) shoudl be up later today/tonight/tomorrow, considering my enstranged sleepign hours! XD