A/N: Okay, I just want to try this. See if we can make it into more? I don't know, it's up to what you guys all think. basically going from the 'Michael' episode... (: I'm going to be changing it around a bit. I'll keep the beginning. The speech. But after that it'll change. Review, tell me if you think it was horrible, or if I should continue, yesshh? :D
I don't own any of the characters and blah blah blah, this is getting old. I'm going to rate it T for now. Not sure about the future ^^ On with the story...
After the speech...
Gosh, the exhilaration. I've never felt so alive during a song. Never felt so, involved. Powerful. There's moisture in my eyes, I feel it. But, I have to get through this speech now, I can't back out. I can't waver. I know I'm not as stuck up about popularity as I used to be. But I have pride. And I can't screw this up. A couple more words Fabray, you can do this. You can and you will.
"I was the only one standing in the way of myself." I say, while strangely locking my eyes on Rachel, it's strange. Well, I guess it's not. I've had a crush on her for so long. But, this time it's different. But I'm not sure why?
"You can't change your past" I say, thinking back on all the horrid things I'd done to Rachel, the slushies, the names, the slap. And I almost lose it. I almost crack, and I can feel the lump in my throat. But I can't pull my eyes away from her. She seems to be battling it. Telling herself to look away. But her eyes always end up straying to mine. She always seems to lose the battle. And I'm glad, because I hope I can stress every feeling I'm trying to physically tell her, and show every emotion in my eyes. So she can see the sincerity in my words. So she knows that I mean what I'm saying.
"But you can let go and start your future." I say, with every last bit of feeling. I think, looking into the future. All I can imagine is me and her. Us. In New York. Her being the shining star that she is. And me in Yale. Us going to Starbucks. Talking about our day. Me grabbing her hand. Telling her that one day we will be married, with kids, and a beautiful home. And-
And it hits me. I'm in love with Rachel Berry. I am in love with Rachel freaking Berry! Don't get me wrong. I knew I loved her to some extent. But there is a huge difference between 'Love' and being 'In love'
Love is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection towards some one you care about. As in your parents, or your child or friend. Love is timeless. It could be a minute, a day, a year or a lifetime. But being in love has a time limit. So when someone says that they are in love. They are simply stating that they want this feeling to continue forever.
That's what I want with Rachel. I want her, scratch that, I need her. I crave her and desire her. I want to have her, and keep her forever. To be selfish and possessive. To have her as mine, and mine only. I want her to want me. To need me. To be in love with me. But, Finnhas her. He doesn't deserve her. I mean, I know I've been cruel to Rachel. And I've rejected her friendship so many times. But, he has no future. I love her more than he does, way more!
I'm brought back from my thoughts by the Glee club members coming up and wrapping me in a bear hug. And, it's so comforting. I love them all. But I know something is missing. I look over at the chairs, and notice Rachel sitting down. Starring. Watching. And, it's rude to the Glee club, because they are being so kind and supportive. But, I don't want them to hug me. I want Rachel to hug me. I timidly smile at her, And after slight hesitation, she smiles back. I wave her over. The others have given up on hugging me because I've pretty much blanked it; I smile over at them kindly and make my way over to Rachel. Just as Rachel gets over to the centre of the room, I wrap my arms around her. Leaving no room for argument.
She tenses for a moment. It's only for a second. But I feel it. And that knocks my confidence a little, knowing she still flinches at my touch. I hope I can change that. She slowly weaves her arms around my waist and places them at the base of my spine. And I feel shiver's erupt inside me, and hope she doesn't notice. I place my arms tightly around her neck. Feeling warmth radiate my whole body. And I take an intake of breath. How can a person smell so good? She smells of Strawberries. And she's the perfect size too, nothing like Finn. He's too tall, and pretty much squishes you into his chest. And it hurts. But this, this is nothing like pain. This is heaven. She is heaven.
I feel her twist her head, so her mouth is right next to my ear. And I can literally feel her breath graze my neck, once again erupting me into a shivering mess. If she notices she doesn't show it. She just takes an intake of breath before slowly saying "I'm proud of you" In a small, hesitant breath. It takes me a minute to realize she's actually said that and that I want just dreaming. But then I bury my head into her neck and whisper out a muttered thanks, smiling.
By the time we pull away (Reluctantly, might I add) we both realize that everyone has left. Including Finn, which is strange, he usually waits for Rachel. "How are you getting home, Rachel?" I ask, not wanting her to have to walk, it's pretty cold out at the moment.
"Oh, I walked to school this morning, it looked like a nice day out. I obviously didn't take the weather into account; the forecast said it would be cold out" She mutters the last bit. Obviously feeling embarrassed.
"Typical Rachel, not taking no for an answer, ay?" I say teasingly, she obviously didn't realize this until she shot her head up to see my playful smirk. She smiled back
"Shut up, Fabray. Last week they said it would rain. And what happened? It was so sunny I couldn't wear my Owl sweater and had to wear a dress instead. I no longer trust the weather forecast." She said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. Something I used to find irritating, yet now find completely adorable.
Well, if it makes you feel better, that dress wasn't half bad" I say casually. But had she looked up and looked at my eyes, I'm sure she'd have seen the sincerity in my words. But instead she looked down and turned an impossible shade of red. This, if I'm honest, made me feel proud. "So, Rachel, you didn't answer my question, how will you get home?"
"Well, I guess I'm walking home. I mean, I would usually go with Finn. But, his cars in the garage. So he took a lift with Noah" She says, as if the fact her boyfriend forgetting her didn't hurt her feelings a little bit.
"He forgot to ask you, didn't he?" I ask, slightly angry at the fact that idiot could forget someone as amazing as the girl standing in front of me.
"He didn't forget me, per say, he just had things on his mind, is all." She says, and if you ask me, it sounds like she's running out of excuses for him.
"I bet you anything he is playing video games right now with Puck" She gave me a disapproving look so I continued with "Text him, I'm sure of it" She reluctantly got her phone out and sent Finn a message, a little while later her phone buzzed. She got it out, scowled at the picture before beginning to put the phone back in to her pocket, But I was quick to snatch it from her, reading the message...
Finn – Soz bbe, cnt tlk right now, puck nd I are plying 'Skyrim'. Cht later.
"Seriously, you want to marry this douche? He doesn't even text 'I love you' or send you kisses. And you think he's good husband material?" I say
"Quinn, don't. He is... He can be really sweet sometimes..." I raise my eyebrow at her. She continues "Seriously, he-he tries. And I know it isn't the most ideal. But-he-I-It'll work. I'm sure." She doesn't sound convinced. But, I'll let it drop. For now.
"Well, come on Berry. I best take you home." At her confused look I elaborate "Well, I'm not going to let you go outside and freeze am I? Now, come on!" I say, while grabbing my bag and going to walk out the door. And, I turn around to see she's following. I will make this the first of many interactions towards me and Rachel Berry. I'll make her love me. I'll make her mine. Finn be damned.