Prologue
My breath faltered as the music started, Cannon in D. I fought back the tears as I stared down the long, stone pathway. I always knew it would somehow come to this. It was the only way to save my family. It was the least I could do for the burden I had been. This was the hardest decision I had ever had to make, and I had to remind myself that sometimes what's right and what's hard are the same. I took my first shaky step, hoping that if I began moving, getting the inevitable over with, the deed would be more bearable. Yet with every step closer I took towards my new fate, the more I wanted to run in the opposite direction and fight it tooth and nail.
I heard the ticking of the clock, acting as a metronome for the music, as I slowly picked my way across the stone path in my heels. I snuck a glance at it and quickened my pace, stumbling over a few loose stones. It was only a matter time before Alice would see my decision and where I was, and then a few more minutes until they caught up to me. I had been able to hide my intentions for a while, though it took deep concentration, but now my mind was solely on what I was about to do. There was no doubt in my mind that they would try to stop me. And I couldn't risk that, I couldn't risk them fighting for me, possibly revealing themselves for me. I wasn't worth it.
Chapter 1
Premonition
For some unknown reason I was surrounded by forest on all sides of me, landlocked, deep within the depths of trees as tall as sycamores. I was not in Forks. No, these trees were not covered in the squishy green moss that I had come to love and connect with home. They were covered in dry brown bark that was rough to the touch. Turning around in a circle I took in my strange surroundings, unable to comprehend where I was. Suddenly a twig snapped from behind me. My heartbeat quickened as I twisted around, ready to make a run through the unfamiliar woods if escape was needed. But fleeing was the last thought on my mind as I took in the newcomer. He was beautiful, tall, naturally tanned with hair the golden color of the sun and eyes the very blue of a summer sky.
A smile grew on his face as he stepped ever closer to me. I stood my ground and my heartbeat thudded even faster, though not in fear. The angelic stranger stretched out his hand, offering me his open palm. I didn't even hesitate as I laid my hand in his. Keeping his eyes on mine he lifted my hands to his lips and very gently touched them to my skin which tingled at the contact.
"You have kept me waiting for seventeen long years." He murmured.
"I'm sorry" I whispered back, afraid to speak any louder.
I found I meant the apology. Even though I was confused at why this beautiful person was waiting for me I suddenly felt guilty at denying him anything. His smile grew wry at my apology, as if he found my words ironic.
"It is not your fault, such a sacrifice was my penance."
His words confused me further, but before I had a chance to ask him what he meant I was distracted by a small sigh, an impatient sound that didn't fit the scenario. I scanned the area for another person but found no one and when I turned back to the mystery man, he was gone. I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight in hopes that he would reappear in front of me when I re-opened them.
Opening my eyes I found myself in my room again, the lightness outside my window showing it to be the beginning of another cloudy day. I felt my heart sink in disappointment, the dream had been so vivid, and I had wanted so badly for that beautiful boy to be real. Sighing I rolled over, digging my face into my pillow in the hopes of falling back into the best dream my subconscious had ever created.
"Oh no you don't, I've been waiting too long!" A voice like wind chimes filled my ears as my blankets were tugged off.
"C'mon Alice, five more minutes? I was having a great dream." I pleaded.
"But I want to give you your present." Alice pouted as she sat next to me.
This got me to wake up. I jumped out of bed in panic. I was still muddled after my dream; I couldn't remember what day it was. Why had Alice gotten me a present? Was I supposed to have one for her? No, we only exchanged presents during Christmas. It couldn't be Christmas, I would have remembered that. I raced to my desk to check the month on the calendar and relaxed as it showed it was only October.
"What are you doing silly?"
"Just checking what day it is." I didn't actually note the day, just the month. That was all that mattered. Instead I moved to my closet to prepare for yet another school day.
"How could you forget what today, of all days is?" Alice looked at me truly stunned.
"What do you mean?" I grabbed a pair of jeans and started fighting to get them on.
"It's your seventeenth birthday today." She smiled widely, her teeth pearly white and her golden eyes shining with excitement.
I froze with one foot halfway through my pants leg as her words struck me. You have kept me waiting for seventeen long years. Eerie, it was like my dream was semi prophetic. I almost lost my balance before I snapped out of my reverie, but I regained my balance in time to finish pulling on my pants.
"Oh, I completely forgot."
"Only you could forget your own birthday." Alice rolled her eyes at my reaction as she skipped to my closet. "Now my first gift to you is to save you from the dangerous fashion mistake you are about to make."
Before I could protest she was in front of me with a flowing ruby red blouse, my last pair of jeans without holes in them and gold flats.
"Alice, isn't a makeover more of a present for you?"
"Just hush, you will thank me for this later." And with that she went to work.
I didn't fight her; it was no use fighting Alice on fashion. Instead I sat idly by as she busied herself around me fixing my hair and makeup in minutes when it would have taken any human hours. I couldn't help but admire the end result.
"Pretty." I murmured as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, stroking my silky chestnut brown hair.
"You are nothing short of Gorgeous." Alice beamed.
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
Alice just looked at me confused.
"It's not like you to leave out the bling." Her smile was secretive.
"Oh, I didn't forget anything."
I squinted at her suspiciously but she was already prancing towards the door.
"Come on, I might be more blatant than the others, but it doesn't make them any less eager to see the birthday girl."
I was slower than Alice, naturally, especially when she was excited. So I walked down the flight of stairs to the kitchen alone. I was halfway down the stairs when I smelled eggs and pancakes. It was amazing the lengths the Cullen's took to make every one of my birthdays' special, ever since my first birthday when I came to live with them as a foster child. I never knew my real family, and I didn't really care to know about my birth parents who had given me up when I was so happy where I was. Why question a miracle?
Turning the corner I noticed the big "Happy Birthday Alyssa" sign that adorned the doorway every year on this day. As tradition called for I snuck into the kitchen, treading as softly as I could, all the while knowing that they would hear me coming. They always did. I was surprised when I entered the kitchen to find Carlisle still deeply focused on the paper, while Esme, Bella and Rosalie were finishing up the home cooked feast that could feed an army yet only I would eat. Edward and Emmett were busy setting up the table full of presents. I didn't need to count to know there would be seventeen of them. Jasper was tuning his guitar as Alice sat beside him humming a random tune while waiting for him to finish.
I felt slightly disappointed when I noticed Renesmee wasn't there, I had wanted to share this day with her, when I would finally be the same age as her. Well technically she was seventeen years older than me, but whatever, she still looked seventeen. Unfortunately she was spending some time with Jacob and his second cousins from the Makah tribe. My disappointment faded quickly, however, as the excitement of finally catching the Cullen's off guard sunk in. Their graceful ways of moving must be rubbing off on me.
"Good morning." I smiled at their startled expressions.
They quickly regained composure. A chorus of "Happy birthday Alyssa" echoed around the room as Esme came to embrace me, kissing me lightly on the head.
"Happy birthday dear one." I smiled as I hugged her back. "How did you sleep?"
"Wonderful, I had the most amazing dream," Esme was intrigued.
"Oh, what about?"
I blushed slightly at the memory and decided it was best not to tell them about my fantasy man. Esme would just be even more determined that I felt left out at being the only one without a soul mate.
"I don't really remember, only that it was very good, until Alice woke me up."
Esme gave Alice a reproachful look. "I told you not to wake her."
"Oh I couldn't wait; she spends too much time sleeping."
"Humans are known to do that you know." Everyone laughed at my sarcastic comment, but I saw Edward catch Carlisle's eyes.
Before I could ask what Carlisle was telling Edward, food was placed before me as Japer began playing the familiar tune. Alice began singing but shortly after everyone else joined in singing me a happy birthday. I blushed, never having liked the attention, and started digging into my breakfast.
"Do you have to do that every year?" I asked when they were done.
"It wouldn't be a birthday without singing," Alice commented.
"Besides, it's worth it just to see you blush." Emmett snickered as I blushed harder.
Eager to hide my red face I bent to pick up my bag making sure I had everything I needed. With a quick goodbye, as Esme called out another happy birthday, I slipped the bag over my shoulder and we all filed out to the cars. There was too many of us to fit into one car, even with Renesmee gone. Usually I drove my Chevy tracker, less conspicuous than any of the other Cullen cars, with Alice, Japer, Bella and Edward while Rosalie and Emmett took Edward's Volvo. But today as I sidled up to my sixteenth birthday present Alice stood barring me from the door.
"You're not driving today. Not on your birthday. I'll drive."
I didn't mind not driving. It would give me time to think over my dream. So I relinquished my keys, holding them out to Alice.
"Oh no, we're not taking your car. I've been dying to drive the Porsche for forever."
"Alice, don't you think the Porsche is a little too noticeable. We need to be less ostentatious today of all days." My eyebrows furrowed as I looked from Alice to Edward, trying to decipher the secret conversation they were having with their eyes.
Alice quickly gave up, probably foreseeing that Edward would win, and took my keys as we loaded into my car. It felt odd to be in the passenger seat of my own car, I saw things from a whole new perspective. Like the broken air vent on this side of the car. I had never noticed it before. Nor had I noticed the paint worn off of the power button on the radio.
I was still staring at the button when Alice turned the radio on and the car was filled with classical music. Leaning my head against the window, I watched the trees pass by at an unnatural rate, caught up in remembering my dream; going through every aspect of it. What could it mean? Was it just coincidence that I dreamed it on the eve of my seventeenth birthday? Was my subconscious just reminding me about my birthday?
My recollection paused on the angelic face, studying it closely, but I knew I had never seen him before. I couldn't forget a face like that. I sighed, recalling the feel of his touch, when I felt Edward stiffen in his seat behind me. I had forgotten where I was for a moment, and I had also forgotten who I was with. Of course Edward would be paying close attention to my thoughts today: my birthday. He always liked to know peoples' reactions and compare them to how he thought they should react.
"It was just a dream Edward." I blushed, imagining why he reacted that way.
I glanced at him in the rearview, and saw him relax slightly. But just as quickly as it had been subdued, his stiff manner returned as he gave a low hiss. I was utterly confused at this until Jasper reached from behind Alice to grab the wheel. Apparently we were steering off course, which was odd. Alice was an exceptional driver. I tore my eyes from the scene in the mirror. Just one glance at Alice was all it took to understand.
Alice's eyes were glossed over, she was here in body, but in mind she was in another time. A few minutes later she was all smiles as she snapped out of it, taking control of the wheel again as Jasper sat back. I would have been fooled by Alice's cheery charade had Edward's reaction not tipped me off that she wasn't seeing anything pleasant.
"What did you see Alice?" I demanded.
"Hmm, oh nothing much, it was just the weather forecast. We won't be at school for the next few days."
I didn't buy it for a minute. There was something they weren't telling me. First the look Edward gave Carlisle at breakfast, then his reaction to my dream and Alice's vision. Something was up, and I was going to find out.
"You're friends are waiting for you." Edward whispered from behind me, cutting off my thoughts.
I looked up as Alice parked in my usual spot and it was true. There stood Megan and Kendra with big grins on their faces, holding gift bags. I got out of the car, silently cursing my friends for arriving unnaturally early. I paused while getting my stuff from the trunk, waiting for Edward to join me.
"This isn't over. I'll talk to you later." I gave him a meaningful look as I trudged off towards my friends who met me half way, too excited to wait any longer.
"There's the Birthday Girl. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They yelled in unison.
Before I knew it they had a crown on my head, one of those cheep plastic ones from the general store in town that said birthday girl on it. I couldn't help but laugh at their overzealous attitude as we walked off towards our first class, Calculus. I wasn't particularly fond of the course, but having my two best friends in class with me made the monotonous class more bearable.
I spent half of first period describing my dream to Megan and Kendra, going into detail over the mystery man's looks. There was no shame in telling them, like me they were single, so they would understand. We would have continued annotating my dream further, but our badly suppressed giggles earned us a stern look from Mr. Goff.
I turned to my blank page of notes and started doodling on it as Mr. Goff continued lecturing about derivatives. I was in the middle of shading in a flower when a folded piece of paper was flung onto my desk. I didn't miss a beat, opening it stealthily and reading it quickly.
You never mentioned the party! Is it still on for this Friday?? KC
I smiled at the urgency in Kendra's writing. She loved a good party, and looked forward to my yearly birthday bashes like a kid waited for Christmas. She must have really been interested in my dream if she was only just now remembering the party.
Yes, of course. Alice wouldn't let me bail.
I didn't sign my initials. She would know my handwriting. Besides, what could I write? I didn't know my birthright and I wasn't really a Cullen. Writing just A looked stupid. Instead I just flicked it on her desk, keeping my eyes on my doodles so as not to draw attention to the exchange. I saw Kendra bend her head over the note, writing a reply, but I didn't find out what it said until after lunch in double period Chemistry, our next class together. Mr. Goff had intercepted the note before it could make it to my desk.
"Please save your love notes until break Miss Connor."
"Yes sir." Kendra looked down at her desk, blushing.
"Now I want you to see me after class."
"Yes sir" she repeated.
I didn't wait for Kendra after class. There was no reason to, as neither Kendra nor Megan took French. Instead I walked the sodden trail to building four with Evan, part of our small group of friends. Evan was taller than me, but then again it was rare for me to find anyone that wasn't. I stood at 5'4" and the only person I knew shorter than me was Alice. Evan was a talker, rarely stopping for a breath between wishing me a happy birthday and launching into some story about basketball practice. He was going on about a three pointer he had made when we hung up our coats. I nodded enthusiastically as if I cared and escaped making any promises of attending his next game as I slid into my seat across from Rosalie and Jasper.
French was my only class with any of my siblings. Rose wasn't really into it; she only took it because it was a romance language. I guess it makes sense, a beautiful person speaking one of the most beautiful languages. I didn't really know why Jasper was taking it, I assumed he got tired of taking Spanish and decided to switch it up.
Today we were practicing dialogues and naturally Jasper didn't stick to his script.
"Ce qui étaient vous pensant dans les maths? Vous conduisiez Edward fou." Jasper asked me.
Crap, I hadn't thought about Edward listening in. But I still wasn't completely sure why my dream frustrated him so much.
"mon rêve" I answered simply.
Jasper seemed confused by my answer. Obviously Edward hadn't shared the reasons behind his feelings about my dream.
"What Dream?" Jasper slipped back into English.
Okay, apparently Edward hadn't told him about my dream at all.
"En Français, monsieur Jasper, en Français." Madame scolded him.
"Il n'est rien. Edward réagit en exagération." I hissed at Jasper while Madame stood watch over us.
"Bâton au manuscrit si vous plais" Madame cut in.
Jasper didn't get another chance to ask me questions about my dream. Madame kept a close eye on us to make sure we weren't straying from the class work. She knew we were well beyond the level of French that the rest of the class was on. Jasper was already better than her, and I knew she resented that. We displayed nothing but good behavior for the remainder of the class, which made us bored out of our minds. It was a relief when the bell finally sounded.
I sprung from my seat, too eager to make my escape to English, a class with more promise for stimulation, to return Madame's au revoir. We were starting Shakespeare's A Midsummer's Night Dream, one of my favorite's of Shakespeare. I enjoyed the magic and mayhem caused by the fairy, it was all good fun. The prospect of the class re-enacting the play kept my spirits lifted all the way through history till lunch.
Evan, who was also in my history class before lunch, followed me out talking animatedly. He dried up though as soon as we exited the room. I couldn't blame him. Emmett, who stood ominously by the door waiting for me, looked incredibly intimidating.
"You don't mind if Alyssa eats with us today, do you." Emmett's question came out as a demand.
"Uhh" Evan looked at me to see if that's what I wanted, as if he would have objected for me. "No I don't mind. I'll see you later Lyss Happy Birthday."
I waved goodbye as he started out in the rain towards the cafeteria. After a moment Emmett and I followed and I could tell Emmet ached to move faster than my slow human pace. It made me wonder why he even bothered; no one was around so he could have gone on ahead. But instead he kept pace with me looking around the school grounds and not troubling himself to make small talk. My family was acting really strange today, even for my birthday.
Emmett held the door for me, again not looking at me but scanning the room. The others were already at their table with their food. I started towards the food counter, taking my time deciding between adding an apple or an orange to my tray. Emmet sighed, choosing for me as he picked up an orange and urged me forward, hastily shoving bills at the cashier so we could leave.
As we passed my usual table I saw Kendra wave at me to join her. I just shook my head, glancing at Emmett, who was unnaturally serious beside me, and that was all it took for her to understand. Today was a family day. Emmett wasn't the only one who was acting out of character. As I sat down at the table Rosalie was actually giving me an apprehensive look instead of admiring her reflection in the silverware.
"How was your morning?" Bella inquired looking honestly interested in the answer.
As if Edward hadn't told her everything he had heard. I sometimes envied Bella for being able to block her thoughts from Edward. There are a lot of thoughts I didn't want him to hear.
"Good, the usual. Mr. Goff caught Kendra passing a note to me."
I expected Edward to interrupt with his little crooked smile and a statement like did you learn anything in math today to imply that he was listening in. But he was silent and his mouth stayed in a concentrated frown. None of them were really paying attention, they all seemed on edge and I was tired of being left out. It was annoying to always be the last to know.
"Will someone please tell me what is going on?"
It drove me even crazier when they all looked at each other and then didn't say a single word. They acted as if they hadn't even heard me. What a way to treat a girl on her birthday.
"Alice, you wouldn't really ignore the birthday girl would you? It's my special day." I tried to give those wide, innocent eyes that were her trademark.
I picked Alice because she was the one most likely to give in and give me what I wanted. Bella was also usually one to cave in to a guilt trip, but she wouldn't want to upset Edward. Alice didn't care about upsetting Edward so she was my best bet at the moment.
She squirmed under my gaze and finally opened her mouth to give in.
"How about we skip the rest of the day?" Emmett cut in.
"What?" I snapped, frustrated at his interruption.
"You know, we'll all go to our cars and go out somewhere instead of going to class." He smiled as if he was really getting into the idea.
"As tempting as that sounds, I have to go to Chemistry today. I promised Kendra I wouldn't desert her and she was going to tell me what was on the note Goff intercepted."
"She'll get over it. And I could just tell you what the note said."
Edward was agreeing with Emmett about ditching. What was up with that? He had never actually supported the few times Kendra and I had ditched before. In fact, he was blatantly against it.
"No." I said simply.
"Aw come on, don't be a spoil sport." Emmett pleaded.
"If you guys want to ditch so bad, no one's stopping you. But I'm actually going to class today."
Edward muttered something under his breath at an incredible rate, but somehow I caught it.
"I am not just being stubborn Edward, I really do want to go to Chem today, we're getting new lab partners and the only way Kendra and I will be together is if I'm actually in the class."
Edward seemed speechless that I had understood him: speechless and unhappy. However the bell rang to end lunch and before he could argue any further, Kendra had sidled over to our table to meet me.
"You ready to go?"
"Yep, I'll meet you guys by the car after school." I called to my sullen family. They looked as if the world was about to end.
"What's up with your family today?" Kendra whispered when she thought we were out of earshot.
What she didn't know was that they could always hear us. No matter how quiet we whispered.
"I don't know, they're being very cryptic today. They wanted me to ditch chemistry." Let them make what they could of that.
"I would have understood you know. It is your birthday." Kendra tried to lie, noticing the creases on my forehead as I thought of my family's odd behavior.
"Let's forget about it." I smiled at her and she smiled back at my improved mood as we entered the Chemistry building, neither of us looking forward to the class.
It was always freezing in this room, and with only thirteen students taking the course there was not a substantial amount of body heat to warm the room. Kendra always joked that Mr. Gerard always kept the room at such a low temperature so we wouldn't fall asleep on him. While I argued that he was so cold-blooded he wasn't really affected by the temperature and never noticed that the rest of us were freezing.
Unfortunately for us we were one of the first few students to arrive and the bell wasn't due to ring for several minutes. Avoiding Mr. G we hurried past his desk to the lab station at the back of the room and dropped our bags on the table.
"So what did the note say?" I asked her while pulling out my notebook of doodles.
"Oh" she blushed. "I was wondering if only the junior class was invited to the party. You know I've had my eye on Stephen and I was wondering if you could invite some seniors so it wouldn't seem obvious, you know?"
I laughed at how trivial this must have sounded to Edward.
"Sure, anything to help you get your dream guy."
Kendra beamed.
"Thanks Alyssa, and don't worry I will totally find someone to hook you up with. Just leave it to me. In fact, I already have someone in mind." This surprised me. I wasn't aware of anyone who was interested in me. Maybe that's why Edward was upset today; his baby sister's got an admirer.
"Really?"
"Yeah," Kendra lowered her voice as two girls sat down at the lab table across from ours. "This new guy who sat with us at lunch today, I don't know his name, but he asked about you, and he kept sneaking glances at you during lunch." She sighed. "He was completely dreamy, but he is way out of my league."
"Kendra" I objected, sometimes she underestimated how pretty she was.
"But he's perfect for you." She continued on ignoring me.
"If you're not good enough for him I doubt I am." Mr. Gerard had started talking to the class about something, but the bell hadn't rung yet so I continued our conversation shamelessly.
"Well, my heart's already taken by Stephen so you can have this one." She winked at me. "Besides he's exactly like the guy you described."
I rolled my eyes at her but smiled back. My description of the perfect guy changed so often I doubt she could remember any of them.
"I'm perfectly happy with being single, thank you very much. I don't need a boyfriend."
Kendra scoffed. "Right, you need a boyfriend like Forks needs sun."
I just shook my head at her. That's when I heard Mr. G say my name.
"Here." I called automatically, assuming he must be taking attendance.
"No Alyssa, he said you're partners with the new guy." Kendra whispered.
I looked up at Mr. Gerard blankly.
"But Mr. G, you said we got to choose our partners this quarter."
"I changed my mind, now move please." He had already started calling the next group so I grabbed my notebook and bag.
"I'm telling you he hates us." I whispered as I moved past Kendra to my new seat.
"He must only hate me; he gave you the good partner." She smiled mischievously at me. "Have fun with your future boyfriend."
I kicked her stool as I passed her and then headed towards the empty seat beside a blonde boy two rows up. Sliding into my new seat I grabbed a pen from my bag before laying it beside my chair.
"Hello." A soft voice greeted from beside me.
Not completely happy with the partner circumstances I turned to glare at him, but it melted away into astonishment as I took in the angel beside me. Those blue eyes, the blonde hair, that face, it was the man from my dream. My mouth opened into a small o as my breath caught in my throat and my eyes became wide. This was too unreal, things like this don't happen. Dreams do not become reality.
"My name is Desmond." He continued with a hint of a smile at my reaction, extending his hand out to mine, palm up.
It was the smile, the one from my dream; a smile that dazzled. I shook my head in denial, this could not be. Yet there he sat before me, the very breathtaking picture I had wanted so hard to keep, to be real. I guess my wish came true. God must really listen to birthday wishes after all. As I pondered over this revelation, the figment of my dream still waited with his hand held out.
"Alyssa." I answered his unasked question and took his hand, half expecting him to raise it to his lips like he had before in my dream. He looked as if he wanted to do so, raising it slowly closer to his face, but in the end he just shook it.
He held on to my hand afterwards, looking as if he wanted to say something else. But Mr. Gerard interrupted, finally finished pairing up partners, he called the class to attention. Sliding my hand out from his I turned to my notebook and pen, settling in for the hour and a half long lecture that would carry us, without interruption, to the bell. I began taking notes at a fast rate, using cursive because it was faster. Just as I turned a page in my notebook, there laid a piece of paper with a simple sentence in elegant script.
I hope you're having a Happy Birthday.
I just stared at the paper for a moment before writing back.
How did you know?
I thought back to my dream.
Your Crown.
Oh
Duh! I'm such an idiot. How could I have forgotten about the embarrassing crown Kendra and Megan had presented me with this morning? My dream had nothing to do with him. He had not been waiting for me, he didn't even know me. He was just a new student, and I was just another girl to him.
So are you?
Am I what?
I had been trying to decide how I felt about that: the fact that I was probably so plain and boring to him. It bothered me a little and I didn't know why. It's not like I liked him, I didn't even know him.
I heard him sigh at my lack of understanding. He must think I'm a complete dunce.
Are you having a good Birthday?
Oh, right, that. Yeah it's been fine so far.
I didn't bother mentioning the numerous disappointments that it had brought. Like the fact that Renesmee and Jacob were out of town which meant Jacob's pack was out of town, which meant neither Renesmee nor my best friend Seth would be present for my birthday.
Just fine?
Well, it's not like it's a milestone birthday or anything, it's only my seventeenth. But still, I guess it just isn't everything I expected.
I wouldn't say that. Where I come from seventeen is a very important birthday.
My brow furrowed as I read his note. I wonder where in the world he came from where turning seventeen is important. He didn't have any special accent that I had noticed that could help place him with a nationality. The pen was in my hand, burning to write that one question, but before I could touch it to the paper, the note was gone. I blinked, confused by its sudden disappearance, then looked up to see Mr. Gerard heading towards our desk.
I quickly turned the page to showcase what little notes I had taken in an attempt to pacify Mr. Gerard into believing I was paying attention. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Desmond tearing a piece of paper into minute pieces and dropping them on the floor just as Mr. G reached us. It was then that I understood that he had grabbed the note to prevent me from getting in trouble.
Mr. Gerard looked over our shoulders to see our class notes and walked away without saying anything, seeming a little disappointed at our evidence of paying attention. He had actually believed my pitiful notes. I glanced over at Desmond's notes to see they were twice the length of mine. How had he taken down all those notes? I had to stop writing them as soon as he passed that first note. He must not have been as interested in our conversation as me. This realization weighed me down.
I tuned back into Mr. Gerard for the rest of the period, taking notes on everything he said and trying to act like I didn't notice the blonde haired dream beside me. After all, he was just being polite when he asked about my birthday, and I had fulfilled any necessary niceties by answering his question.
I had packed up before the bell, earning me a dark look from Mr. Gerard, so when it did ring I was ready to go. Kendra quickly caught up to me as I headed for the door without a goodbye to Desmond, not that he would care.
"So….what happened?" Kendra asked eager for information.
"Nothing."
"But you were passing notes! I saw, I just couldn't read them because Jimmy's fat head was in the way."
I laughed humorlessly.
"He was just being polite, asking about my birthday. Then when Mr. Gerard came up to us he had a full notebook of notes. So obviously he wasn't that interested in the conversation."
"But what happened to the note?" Kendra seemed as down heartened as I felt at Desmond's lack of interest.
"Desmond took it and tore it up." I shrugged.
"Aw, he didn't want you to get in trouble, how sweet." Kendra cooed.
"Or he didn't want to get in trouble himself." I pointed out the more practical reason.
"You're just so pessimistic sometimes. You didn't see how he looked at you when you first sat down. Or his body language when he talked to you."
"What are you talking about?" She smiled smugly then left me standing in the rain as she went to her last period of the day without answering my question.
"It's not nice to keep secrets from the birthday girl!" I yelled after her.
I quickly regretted that decision as it drew a couple critical stares from my peers. I turned away from the gazes and saw my family across the way walking to their last classes. Bella was looking at me worriedly as she held tight to Edwards's hand, a restraining hold. Looking at Edward he seemed stiff angered by something. I quickly turned to Alice to see if she was having another vision, but she just smiled at me and waved, looking completely unbothered by anything.
Just as I turned towards my classroom I heard her musical whisper like a sigh carried upon the wind.
"Don't worry Edward, at the moment he's not part of her decision."
I paused with my hand on the door. Judging by the fact that no one around me was staring at Alice like she was crazy I assumed she hadn't shouted the words, in fact she probably spoke in less than a whisper. And if that was true it made no sense that I could hear her. But I had, which was strange. Almost as infuriating as being able to hear her was what I had heard. Alice was watching me.