Squall Leonhart's Battle of the Brains
Oh, hello there! Squall Leonhart here! Well I' am really bored to death here in my office (of course I'm the headmaster here in Balamb Garden!). And I'm really exhausted of doing tons n' tons of paper works everyday. So I decided to change my career and become a....WRITER OF FANFICS. (Gets a pen and paper) Okay.now what should I write..hmmm?
Cast: ODINE: the crazy host of the show (Why Odine? .Um..I don't know)
CID : the Robin Williams look a like Announcer of the show (um. no comment)
CONTESTANTS ZELL AND ELLONE : Red team (Why red? Because it's the color of Zell's favorite cuisine.hotdogs!)
SEIFER AND FUJIN : Green team (Why green? 'Coz it's Seifer's favorite color)
IRVINE AND SELPHIE : Yellow team ( don't ask...)
SQUALL AND RINOA: Blue team (Why blue? Well because it's my favorite color)
AUDIENCE
QUISTIS AND THE TREPIES: (My beloved instructor and of course her fans)
RAIJIN : (One of the Seifer's posse, ya know! Ooops!)
LAGUNA: (Oh my .well his my.dad!)
KIROS AND WARD: (just tagging along)
ANGELO: (Rinoa's cute pet)
ULTIMECIA: (Oh my she's ALIVE! And worst of all she's one of the audience)
On with the show..
CID: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen , boys and girls, dogs and cats..
ODINE: Dogz, catz?
CID: Ooops..Sorry..Well Tonight is the Night of all nights, the..
ODINE: ZID (CID) JUZT ZAY HERE'Z THE BATTLE OF THE BRAINZZZZ!
CID: that's my line Odine.. Alright tonight's host is none other than.. Odine.
ODINE: LEMME INTRODUZ MY ZELF.
CID: Well okay, okay you're the boss!
ODINE: HAHAHAHA! THAT IZ RIGHT! WELL TODAY'Z HOZT VAZ THE MOZT HANDZOME, THE MOZT LOVABLE, THE MOZT..
QUISTIS & THE TREPIES: EEEWWWWWW! YUCK!
RAIJIN : In your dreams, ya know!
LAGUNA: Just call the participants BY THE ORDER OF THE PRES. OF ESTHAR!
KIROS: Calm down Mr. President!
WARD: .....
ANGELO: ARRFFF!
ULTIMECIA: Kurse you Odine!!!!
ODINE: THE MOZT ADORAVLE, MR. MACHO BOY, MOZT TALENTED, THE MOZT CLEVER BEING IN THE UNIVERZE, THE..
CID: ODINE!!! GET ON WITH THE SHOW! YOU'RE JUST WASTING OUR TIME!
ODINE: Oh juz zut up! I vill talk ven I vant to talk I'm the bozZ and the handzome hozt! Zo don't you interfere! Okay! IT'Z NONe OTHER THAN ODINE!! MWAHAHAHAH!Why that'z moi!!MWAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
CID: Okay! Next let me introduce to you tonight's contestants! CONTESTANT # 1 : he was the best martial artist in Balamb Garden, a hotdog lover, a good son to his mother, a good student to his instructor, a ...
ODINE: OKAY ENOUGH INTRODUZIN HE'Z Zell Dincht!
ZELL: OH YEAH !!! I'M ON TV! HI MA DINCHT!!
CID : And his partner : she's Squall's sis, she's.
ODINE: ( interrupts)OKAY ZHE'Z ELLONE! COMMON DOWN!
ELLONE: HI EVERYONE! Hello Uncle Laguna!
LAGUNA: Well that's my Ellie!
KIROS: GO ELLIE! GO ELLIE!
WARD: ...
QUISTIS: WAY TO GO ELLONE!
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: ....
ANGELO: AWOOOOO!
ULTIMECIA: SeeD?!!!
CID: Well that's the RED TEAM, next the GREEN TEAM: he was the leader of the Disciplinary Committee, he's one of the gunblade specialist in Balamb Garden, he's the..
ODINE: (interrupts) Zipper AlmaZy!
CID: GRRRR! ODINE!
SEIFER: MY NAME IS SEIFER ALMASY YOU MORON! AND HECK!... WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!
CID: um and his partner is FUJIN! (*talk as fast as he can so that he can speak before Odine can interrupt) hehehehehe ODINE: .....
FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE!
CID: Next the YELLOW TEAM: he's Irvi.
ODINE: ERVIN KENNIZ
CID: DOPE!!
LAGUNA, KIROS, WARD: ....
QUISTIS AND TREPIES: ....
RAJIN AND ANGELO: ..
IRVINE: HEY! NO INTRODUCTION! Well lemme introduce myself ..
ODINE: zorry you cannot do that!
IRVINE: BUT WHY?!!!
ODINE: COZ IM THE BOZZ AND THE.
CID: handsome host.yeah yeah right.. And Irvine's partner: she's the cutest SeeD, the Messenger girl, she's SEL..
ODINE: (interrupts) ZELPHIE TILMITT
SELPHIE: WHOO HOO! BOOYAKA! HELLO EVERYONE!
QUISTIS: YAHOO SELHIE!
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: GRRR! SHUT UP! QUIET!
TREPIES: QUIS..
QUISTIS: SSSSSSSHHHH!
TREPIES: QU.
QUISTIS: MICRO MISSILES!!
TREPIES: WHAAAAAAAAA!
LAGUNA & CO. : BOOYAKA!
ANGELO: RAFF! RAFF!
RAIJIN: Where's Seifer ya know?!
ULTIMECIA: SeeD, SeeD?!!!!
CID: And last but not the least .BLUE TEAM!: he's the Commander, the New Headmaster of Balamb Garden, A sorceress Knight, a Student, a SeeD, the most handso.. ODINE: ZQUALL LOIRE! LAGUNA: OH YEAH!!! NICE ODINE! THAT'S MY BABY SQUALLY!!! OH YOU MADE YOUR DADDY SO PROUD MY BOY ! oh squall huhuhuhuhuhuhu! (sob)
KIROS: GO SQUALL! GO SQUALL!
WARD: .....!
QUISTIS: I LOVE SQUALL!!! HE'S MY BEST STUDENT!
TREPIES: DIE SQUALL! QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: STILL ALIVE?!!!
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: LV. 5 DEATH!
TREPIES: OH NOOOOOOOOO!
QUISTIS: OH YEAH!
TREPIES: ARRGGG!!! (*they all drop dead)
ANGELO: ROFF! ROFF! ARF! ARF!
RAIJIN: I want Seifer Almasy ya know!
ULTIMECIA: SEED?!!!!
SQUALL: HEY ! I'M SQUALL LEONHART NOT LOIRE (sorry dad) LAGUNA: Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! (sad)
CID: next.. also from BLUE TEAM: she's the most stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, attractive, Lovely sorceress, um hi Edea, sweetie! Squall's GF (girlfriend not his guardian force) Miss ..
ODINE: Rinoa Heartilly!
*Background sound: FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC
RINOA: Hiyeee! Hello everyone and hello Squally Bear! (*hugs Squall)
SQUALL: HI angel! (hugs Rinoa)
QUISTIS: Hmmpp! Get off my Squall (whispers)
TREPIES(Ghost): QQQHUIIIISSTISSSS! QUIIIIIIISSSTIS!
QUISTIS: EEKKKKK! GHOST!
ANGELO: RAFF! RAFF! RAFF!
RAIJIN: (*to the dog) Shut up ya know! Ahhhhhh the dog pissed my pants!
ULTIMECIA: SeeD, SeeD, SeeD, SeeD, SeeD, SeeD! Kurse you all SeeDs ! Swarming like lokust akross generations you disgust me!
LAGUNA & CO.: (*to Ultimecia) SHUT UP!
ANGELO: GRRR! RUFF
RAIJIN: They're right ya know!
CID: There you have it! Let's give a big hand for our lovely contestants!
AUDIENCE: WHOO HOOO!
CID: Yes and the winner of this game will receive 1 million gil! And a trip around the world..thanks to the.CHOCOBOS
AUDIENCE: WOW!
ODINE: Alright now here'z the mechanicz: there are 3 roundz for thiz game: the eazy, not so eazy, and the difficult round. And each round iz conzizt of 3 queztionz. And zo for the eazy round you vill get 100 pointz for each correct answer, 200 for the next round and 500 for the lazt round.Any queztionz?
SEIFER: Yes (*raises his hand..acting innocently)
ODINE: Vhat? (*translation~ what)
SEIFER: Can I go home?
ODINE: Hmm..Nope
SEIFER: .... (sad)
ODINE: Okay pliz no ztupid queztionz. If you don't have any problemz then let's begin. Okay pliz check your buzzerz.
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK! (*buzzer sound)
ZELL: What the?
ELLONE: Huh?
SEIFER: HAHAHAHA. (*laughs hysterically) Fits you. Mr. Chicken wuss..hey Odine got any chicken sounds there? Hhehehe
ZELL: GRRR I'M NOT A PIG! oink oink..oopss (* smiles)
AUDIENCE: ...
GREEN TEAM: Burp..burp
SEIFER: HEY!
FUJIN: ?
ZELL: MWAHAHAHAHA now where even
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
ODINE: Alright firzt queztion for the eazy round or zhould I zay for the moronz round: Fill in the mizzing vord for thiz zong... ahem (*sings) My toez , my kneez, my zhoulder, my ___________. Okay the clue: ztartz vith the letter "H".
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ODINE: Yes red team! ZELL: HOTDOGS!.ahem (*sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HOTDOGS!"
ODINE: NO! okay another clue: It iz a part of our body!
AUDIENCE: owwwww
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: HANDS!..Ahem (sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HANDS!
ODINE: NOPE!
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
ODINE: YES GREEN TEAM!
SEIFER: Okay! Okay! HAIR..(*sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HAIR!
RAIJIN: YES he got it, ya know! That's my friend OH YEAH!
SEIFER: hehehehehe..Call me Mr. Genius hehehe
ODINE: Sorry!
SEIFER: What? But, but..
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
ODINE: YES BLUE TEAM
SQUALL: Elementary my dear friends, the answer is HEAD! (*smiles)
RINOA: YEHEY! (*sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my head!"
LAGUNA: OH YES that's my baby squally!
ODINE: UM.. WRONG!
SQUALL: WHAT?
ODINE: THE ANZWER IZ (sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HYPOTHALAMUS!
RED TEAM GREEN TEAM YELLOW TEAM: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ZELL: I told you Ellone that hypo-whachamacallit is the answer
IRVINE: I knew it!
SEIFER: But HAIR is the answer!
SQUALL: .....
LAGUNA: NO FAIR
ODINE: Okay next : Compute thiz: 5 timez 5 iz?
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ODINE: OKAY RED TEAM
ZELL: um. five times five equals .um carry one, um..cannot be borrow one ..um, one?
ELLONE: YES! We won! We won!
ODINE: HIGHER!
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: (*excited) (*in a high pitch voice) ONEEEEEEE!!!!
SELPHIE: WHOO HOO!
ODINE: NOOOOOO!
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: EASY! I'm A MATH WIZARD!..um the answer is..
RAIJIN: YEAH YEAH THAT'S MY FRIEND YA KNOW! HAHAHAHA
SEIFER: the answer is.. 10!
ODINE: NO
SEIFER: HUH?.um 20?
ODINE: NO
SEIFER: ahhh! 24!
ODINE: Closer
SEFIER:hahahaha my goodness!, 24 and a half ..easy ei!
ODINE: NOOOOOO..GRRR
SEIFER: 26?
SEIFER: how about twenty.
ODINE: hmm.CAST SILENCE!
SEIFER: (*silenced) ....
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
SQUALL: simple! The answer for that is 25!
RINOA: (sings) 25 is the answer!, 25, 25, 25,...
ODINE: NO! NO! NO!
SQUALL: WHAT THE?
ODINE: HMM.poor creaturez the anzwer iz zquare root of 252525283 to the 10000000 power! My goodnezz! Pliz educate thiz young people!
ZELL: TSK! TSK! TSK! I TOLD YOU ELLONE THAT IS THE ANSWER!
ELLONE: sorry..
SEIFER: BUT 24 and a half is the answer?
FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE
RAIJIN: You're right ya know!
ODINE: THIRD QUEZTION: Fill in the mizzing vord for thiz Holiday zong... ahem (*sings) "__________ the red noze reindeer .."
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
SELPHIE: ANGELO! (*sings) "Angelo the red nose reindeer!
RINOA: But MY Angelo is not a deer?!
SELPHIE: Ooppsss. Sorry Rin
ODINE: WRONG! Alright clue: ztartz vith letter "R" RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ELLONE: Ummmm..
LAGUNA: Yes! GO ELLIE!
KIROS: GO ELLIE
WARD: ....!
ELLONE: RINOA! (*sings) "RINOA the red nose reindeer!
SQUALL: SIS!
ELLONE: HEHEHE sorry squall, please don't get mad at me.
ODINE: I'm zo zorry Mizz Ellie but that'z not the right anzwer.
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
FUJIN:RAGNAROK!
SEIFER: YEAH that's right! You're so Brilliant!
ODINE: No I'm so sorry
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: RUDOLF! (*sings) "RUDOLF the red nose reindeer!
ODINE: Oh uh! You guyz are zick! the appropriate anzwer iz (sings) "RAIJIN the red nose reindeer!
RAIJIN: What ?! I'm no reindeer ya know!
ODINE: Okay that endz our firzt round. But before we proceed to the next round let uz. Look at the zcoreboard: HEY! CID?! Pliz announce the zcorez! CID: YEAH! Red team: 0 points! Green team: 0 points, Yellow team: 0 points and Blue team: 0 points ODINE: Ohhhhhhhh! That'z zo mizerable! Next round! Firzt queztion : He iz the general in Deling City and he iz alzo Rinoa'z father. Who iz thiz man?
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ELLONE: General Mac Arthur!
ODINE: ...
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
FUJIN: GENERAL LAGUNA?
LAGUNA: HEY I'm a President of...
KIROS: (*interrupts) LAGUNA! Calm down
ODINE: GEEZZZ
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
SELPHIE: I know! I know! General Cid!
CID: Hmmmm
ODINE: How about blue team?
RINOA: Of course he's my father, General Cabbage..I mean Caraway
ODINE: Vhat kind of a daughter are you? Your father'z name iz GEN. MERCHANDISE!
RINOA: Squall, I wanna go home.
ODINE: Zecond queztion: It iz the magic word zaid to open the cave of wonderz-(from the Story Ali Baba)
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: OPEN SESAME street?
ODINE: cloze
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: "ALA PEANUT BUTTER with hotdog SANDWICHES!"
ODINE: NO! ELLONE: SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS! (*gasp)
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: OPEN UP! OR I'LL ...
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
SQUALL: OPEN SESAME!
ODINE: CID? Can ve change the title of the zhow? Battle of the brainlezz iz more appropriate! OH WELL! the anzwer iz: KNOCK! KNOCK!
AUDIENCE: (*in unison ..imitating Squall) Whatever..
ODINE: Last queztion: zhe iz known az a zorcerezz with a bewitching beauty who appeared in Galbadia. Zhe iz Cid'z wife, who iz zhe?
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
FUJIN: ADEL?
CID: NO WAY! She's so ugly!
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ELLONE: ULTIMECIA?
ULTIMECIA: WHAT? CID HE IS.MY HUSBAND?! (*blushes)
CID: ewwwww...
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
SELPHIE: RINOA?
SQUALL: WHAT THE? CID? WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?
CID: SELPHIE .you kiddin right?
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: Of course MATRON EDEA!
ODINE: THE CORRECT ANZWER IZ. Mrs. Catherine Zeta Jones.Kramer
CID: HUH?
ODINE: OW! PLIZ CID the zcorez.
CID: WELL um..still. Red team : 0 points! Green team: 0 points,Yellow team: 0 points and Blue team: 0 points
RAIJIN: YEHEY GREEN TEAM GOT 0 POINTS, YA KNOW!
SEIFER: SHUT UP RAIJIN! YOU'RE TOO NOISY
FUJIN: RAGE! ODINE: Don't worry young people you all ztill have round three. Firzt queztion: Who is the main male protagonizt (protagonist) in Chrono Crozz? Clue: ztartz vith letter "Z"
CID: um.. that's letter "S" Odine and that is Chrono Cross.
ODINE: You know that I cannot pronounce that letter right becauze of my beautifullllll accent.
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: SINDERELLA?
SELPHIE: Irvy, Cinderella not Sinderella! Um. our answer is Sleeping Beauty
ODINE: (*sticks his tongue out)
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: NO you're wrong messenger girl the answer is Snow White
ODINE: HELLO?! I ZAID MALE NOT FEMALE
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: SEIFER?
ODINE: NO
ELLONE: SQUALL?
ODINE: NO
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
SQUALL: GUYS?! Odine the answer is.Serge
ODINE: YOU GUYZ ARE A BUNCH OF...
CID: ODINE? They're just kids
ODINE: Zephiroth (Sephiroth)iz the right anzwer! RED TEAM, GREEN TEAM and YELLOW TEAM: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ZELL: ..this show is really educational!(*smiling from ear to ear)
ODINE: How about in FF7, who is the main male protagonist? ZTARTZ VITH "C"
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: CARBUNCLE
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: Oh I hate that buzzer. um the answer is Caraway?
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: Christopher Robbins? (Winnie the pooh)
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: CLOUD STRIFE?
ODINE: KIDZ? I'm zo zad to zay that the anzwer iz none other than CID?
CID: ME?!
ODINE: Lazt queztion! Everybody lizten carefully! For 500 pointz who iz the mozt handzome, the mozt dazhing, brainy, coolest guy and the main protagonizt (protagonist) in FF8?
GREEN TEAM: BURPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
AUDIENCE: SAY EXCUSE ME!!!!
SEIFER:Hey that was easy, obviously the answer is Seifer Almasy! why, that's me?
FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE
ODINE: Sorry Green Team
SEIFER: BUT?
RAIJIN: I'm with you Seifer, ya know!
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: Me! Zell Dincht!
ELLONE: No! Uncle Laguna!.Kiros or Ward or.
ODINE: ...
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: Guys! Look.. I, Irvine Kinneas is the mozt handsome, most ..
SELPHIE: No wait! Cid Kramer because he is our headmaster!
ODINE: Sorry Yellow team
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: Of course my lovey-dabby, my knight in shinning armor, my Squally- bear! Squall Leonhart !
LAGUNA: Yipeeeeeeeeee!
KIROS: Mr President?
WARD:.....?
QUISTIS: I agree with her
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: HUH! NOT AGAIN! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU ALL!
ANGELO: URF! URF!
ULTIMECIA: GRIEVER! MAKE THEM BLEED!
SQUALL: Not me?! Then who?
ODINE: IT IZ I ODINE! IT IZ ZO OBVIOUZ! OHHHHH! I'M ZO ZORRY TO ZAY THAT NO ONE WINZ THIZ GAME ZO THE PRIZE GOEZ TO THE HANDZOME HOZT! OKAY UNTIL NEXT WEEK...
CID: OKAY I'M OUTTA HERE BYE BYE!
ODINE: JOIN UZ AGAIN FOR...
SEIFER: HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
ZELL: BLAST IT!
IRVINE: Seifer, I've got an idea! Can we kill this psycho?
SEIFER: YEAH! How about you guys?
ELLONE: Yup! Yup! Yup!
SELPHIE: and blow him out to smithereens
FUJIN: ZAN
RAIJIN: YEAH! Ya know!
LAGUNA: Kiros! Call all the soldiers in Esthar, quick!
KIROS: My pleasure Mr. President
WARD: ......
QUISTIS: OKAY TREPIES ATTACK ODINE NOW!
TREPIES: ATTACK ODINE! ATTACK ODINE!
ULTIMECIA: foolish SeeDs!
RINOA: Angelo kill Odine! Kill!
ANGELO: GRRRRR! ARF! ARF!
ODINE: .ZE YA ALL GUYZ TO AHHHHHHH! ZTOP IT!
ANGELO: ARF ARF!
ODINE: MY LEGZZZZ!
RINOA: ANGEL WING!
ODINE: NOOOOO! ZTOP IT! IT HURTZ!
FUJIN: ZAN!
ODINE: CUT IT OUT OHHHH MY HAIR!
TREPIES: KILL! KILL! KILL!
ODINE: URGGGG!
SEIFER: Mr. Puberty boy, can we join the party? My hands were itching.
SQUALL: Okay! LIONHEART!
ODINE: AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
*****The end***** So what? Do you think I should continue this "writer thing"? Well yeah you're right this story sucks and I feel stupid writing this cheap story so maybe I should quit this career and be a...HOLLYWOOD director! See ya!
Oh, hello there! Squall Leonhart here! Well I' am really bored to death here in my office (of course I'm the headmaster here in Balamb Garden!). And I'm really exhausted of doing tons n' tons of paper works everyday. So I decided to change my career and become a....WRITER OF FANFICS. (Gets a pen and paper) Okay.now what should I write..hmmm?
Cast: ODINE: the crazy host of the show (Why Odine? .Um..I don't know)
CID : the Robin Williams look a like Announcer of the show (um. no comment)
CONTESTANTS ZELL AND ELLONE : Red team (Why red? Because it's the color of Zell's favorite cuisine.hotdogs!)
SEIFER AND FUJIN : Green team (Why green? 'Coz it's Seifer's favorite color)
IRVINE AND SELPHIE : Yellow team ( don't ask...)
SQUALL AND RINOA: Blue team (Why blue? Well because it's my favorite color)
AUDIENCE
QUISTIS AND THE TREPIES: (My beloved instructor and of course her fans)
RAIJIN : (One of the Seifer's posse, ya know! Ooops!)
LAGUNA: (Oh my .well his my.dad!)
KIROS AND WARD: (just tagging along)
ANGELO: (Rinoa's cute pet)
ULTIMECIA: (Oh my she's ALIVE! And worst of all she's one of the audience)
On with the show..
CID: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen , boys and girls, dogs and cats..
ODINE: Dogz, catz?
CID: Ooops..Sorry..Well Tonight is the Night of all nights, the..
ODINE: ZID (CID) JUZT ZAY HERE'Z THE BATTLE OF THE BRAINZZZZ!
CID: that's my line Odine.. Alright tonight's host is none other than.. Odine.
ODINE: LEMME INTRODUZ MY ZELF.
CID: Well okay, okay you're the boss!
ODINE: HAHAHAHA! THAT IZ RIGHT! WELL TODAY'Z HOZT VAZ THE MOZT HANDZOME, THE MOZT LOVABLE, THE MOZT..
QUISTIS & THE TREPIES: EEEWWWWWW! YUCK!
RAIJIN : In your dreams, ya know!
LAGUNA: Just call the participants BY THE ORDER OF THE PRES. OF ESTHAR!
KIROS: Calm down Mr. President!
WARD: .....
ANGELO: ARRFFF!
ULTIMECIA: Kurse you Odine!!!!
ODINE: THE MOZT ADORAVLE, MR. MACHO BOY, MOZT TALENTED, THE MOZT CLEVER BEING IN THE UNIVERZE, THE..
CID: ODINE!!! GET ON WITH THE SHOW! YOU'RE JUST WASTING OUR TIME!
ODINE: Oh juz zut up! I vill talk ven I vant to talk I'm the bozZ and the handzome hozt! Zo don't you interfere! Okay! IT'Z NONe OTHER THAN ODINE!! MWAHAHAHAH!Why that'z moi!!MWAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
CID: Okay! Next let me introduce to you tonight's contestants! CONTESTANT # 1 : he was the best martial artist in Balamb Garden, a hotdog lover, a good son to his mother, a good student to his instructor, a ...
ODINE: OKAY ENOUGH INTRODUZIN HE'Z Zell Dincht!
ZELL: OH YEAH !!! I'M ON TV! HI MA DINCHT!!
CID : And his partner : she's Squall's sis, she's.
ODINE: ( interrupts)OKAY ZHE'Z ELLONE! COMMON DOWN!
ELLONE: HI EVERYONE! Hello Uncle Laguna!
LAGUNA: Well that's my Ellie!
KIROS: GO ELLIE! GO ELLIE!
WARD: ...
QUISTIS: WAY TO GO ELLONE!
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: ....
ANGELO: AWOOOOO!
ULTIMECIA: SeeD?!!!
CID: Well that's the RED TEAM, next the GREEN TEAM: he was the leader of the Disciplinary Committee, he's one of the gunblade specialist in Balamb Garden, he's the..
ODINE: (interrupts) Zipper AlmaZy!
CID: GRRRR! ODINE!
SEIFER: MY NAME IS SEIFER ALMASY YOU MORON! AND HECK!... WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!
CID: um and his partner is FUJIN! (*talk as fast as he can so that he can speak before Odine can interrupt) hehehehehe ODINE: .....
FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE!
CID: Next the YELLOW TEAM: he's Irvi.
ODINE: ERVIN KENNIZ
CID: DOPE!!
LAGUNA, KIROS, WARD: ....
QUISTIS AND TREPIES: ....
RAJIN AND ANGELO: ..
IRVINE: HEY! NO INTRODUCTION! Well lemme introduce myself ..
ODINE: zorry you cannot do that!
IRVINE: BUT WHY?!!!
ODINE: COZ IM THE BOZZ AND THE.
CID: handsome host.yeah yeah right.. And Irvine's partner: she's the cutest SeeD, the Messenger girl, she's SEL..
ODINE: (interrupts) ZELPHIE TILMITT
SELPHIE: WHOO HOO! BOOYAKA! HELLO EVERYONE!
QUISTIS: YAHOO SELHIE!
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: GRRR! SHUT UP! QUIET!
TREPIES: QUIS..
QUISTIS: SSSSSSSHHHH!
TREPIES: QU.
QUISTIS: MICRO MISSILES!!
TREPIES: WHAAAAAAAAA!
LAGUNA & CO. : BOOYAKA!
ANGELO: RAFF! RAFF!
RAIJIN: Where's Seifer ya know?!
ULTIMECIA: SeeD, SeeD?!!!!
CID: And last but not the least .BLUE TEAM!: he's the Commander, the New Headmaster of Balamb Garden, A sorceress Knight, a Student, a SeeD, the most handso.. ODINE: ZQUALL LOIRE! LAGUNA: OH YEAH!!! NICE ODINE! THAT'S MY BABY SQUALLY!!! OH YOU MADE YOUR DADDY SO PROUD MY BOY ! oh squall huhuhuhuhuhuhu! (sob)
KIROS: GO SQUALL! GO SQUALL!
WARD: .....!
QUISTIS: I LOVE SQUALL!!! HE'S MY BEST STUDENT!
TREPIES: DIE SQUALL! QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: STILL ALIVE?!!!
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: LV. 5 DEATH!
TREPIES: OH NOOOOOOOOO!
QUISTIS: OH YEAH!
TREPIES: ARRGGG!!! (*they all drop dead)
ANGELO: ROFF! ROFF! ARF! ARF!
RAIJIN: I want Seifer Almasy ya know!
ULTIMECIA: SEED?!!!!
SQUALL: HEY ! I'M SQUALL LEONHART NOT LOIRE (sorry dad) LAGUNA: Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! (sad)
CID: next.. also from BLUE TEAM: she's the most stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, attractive, Lovely sorceress, um hi Edea, sweetie! Squall's GF (girlfriend not his guardian force) Miss ..
ODINE: Rinoa Heartilly!
*Background sound: FITHOS LUSEC WECOS VINOSEC
RINOA: Hiyeee! Hello everyone and hello Squally Bear! (*hugs Squall)
SQUALL: HI angel! (hugs Rinoa)
QUISTIS: Hmmpp! Get off my Squall (whispers)
TREPIES(Ghost): QQQHUIIIISSTISSSS! QUIIIIIIISSSTIS!
QUISTIS: EEKKKKK! GHOST!
ANGELO: RAFF! RAFF! RAFF!
RAIJIN: (*to the dog) Shut up ya know! Ahhhhhh the dog pissed my pants!
ULTIMECIA: SeeD, SeeD, SeeD, SeeD, SeeD, SeeD! Kurse you all SeeDs ! Swarming like lokust akross generations you disgust me!
LAGUNA & CO.: (*to Ultimecia) SHUT UP!
ANGELO: GRRR! RUFF
RAIJIN: They're right ya know!
CID: There you have it! Let's give a big hand for our lovely contestants!
AUDIENCE: WHOO HOOO!
CID: Yes and the winner of this game will receive 1 million gil! And a trip around the world..thanks to the.CHOCOBOS
AUDIENCE: WOW!
ODINE: Alright now here'z the mechanicz: there are 3 roundz for thiz game: the eazy, not so eazy, and the difficult round. And each round iz conzizt of 3 queztionz. And zo for the eazy round you vill get 100 pointz for each correct answer, 200 for the next round and 500 for the lazt round.Any queztionz?
SEIFER: Yes (*raises his hand..acting innocently)
ODINE: Vhat? (*translation~ what)
SEIFER: Can I go home?
ODINE: Hmm..Nope
SEIFER: .... (sad)
ODINE: Okay pliz no ztupid queztionz. If you don't have any problemz then let's begin. Okay pliz check your buzzerz.
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK! (*buzzer sound)
ZELL: What the?
ELLONE: Huh?
SEIFER: HAHAHAHA. (*laughs hysterically) Fits you. Mr. Chicken wuss..hey Odine got any chicken sounds there? Hhehehe
ZELL: GRRR I'M NOT A PIG! oink oink..oopss (* smiles)
AUDIENCE: ...
GREEN TEAM: Burp..burp
SEIFER: HEY!
FUJIN: ?
ZELL: MWAHAHAHAHA now where even
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
ODINE: Alright firzt queztion for the eazy round or zhould I zay for the moronz round: Fill in the mizzing vord for thiz zong... ahem (*sings) My toez , my kneez, my zhoulder, my ___________. Okay the clue: ztartz vith the letter "H".
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ODINE: Yes red team! ZELL: HOTDOGS!.ahem (*sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HOTDOGS!"
ODINE: NO! okay another clue: It iz a part of our body!
AUDIENCE: owwwww
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: HANDS!..Ahem (sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HANDS!
ODINE: NOPE!
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
ODINE: YES GREEN TEAM!
SEIFER: Okay! Okay! HAIR..(*sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HAIR!
RAIJIN: YES he got it, ya know! That's my friend OH YEAH!
SEIFER: hehehehehe..Call me Mr. Genius hehehe
ODINE: Sorry!
SEIFER: What? But, but..
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
ODINE: YES BLUE TEAM
SQUALL: Elementary my dear friends, the answer is HEAD! (*smiles)
RINOA: YEHEY! (*sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my head!"
LAGUNA: OH YES that's my baby squally!
ODINE: UM.. WRONG!
SQUALL: WHAT?
ODINE: THE ANZWER IZ (sings) "My toes, my knees, my shoulder, my HYPOTHALAMUS!
RED TEAM GREEN TEAM YELLOW TEAM: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ZELL: I told you Ellone that hypo-whachamacallit is the answer
IRVINE: I knew it!
SEIFER: But HAIR is the answer!
SQUALL: .....
LAGUNA: NO FAIR
ODINE: Okay next : Compute thiz: 5 timez 5 iz?
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ODINE: OKAY RED TEAM
ZELL: um. five times five equals .um carry one, um..cannot be borrow one ..um, one?
ELLONE: YES! We won! We won!
ODINE: HIGHER!
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: (*excited) (*in a high pitch voice) ONEEEEEEE!!!!
SELPHIE: WHOO HOO!
ODINE: NOOOOOO!
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: EASY! I'm A MATH WIZARD!..um the answer is..
RAIJIN: YEAH YEAH THAT'S MY FRIEND YA KNOW! HAHAHAHA
SEIFER: the answer is.. 10!
ODINE: NO
SEIFER: HUH?.um 20?
ODINE: NO
SEIFER: ahhh! 24!
ODINE: Closer
SEFIER:hahahaha my goodness!, 24 and a half ..easy ei!
ODINE: NOOOOOO..GRRR
SEIFER: 26?
SEIFER: how about twenty.
ODINE: hmm.CAST SILENCE!
SEIFER: (*silenced) ....
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
SQUALL: simple! The answer for that is 25!
RINOA: (sings) 25 is the answer!, 25, 25, 25,...
ODINE: NO! NO! NO!
SQUALL: WHAT THE?
ODINE: HMM.poor creaturez the anzwer iz zquare root of 252525283 to the 10000000 power! My goodnezz! Pliz educate thiz young people!
ZELL: TSK! TSK! TSK! I TOLD YOU ELLONE THAT IS THE ANSWER!
ELLONE: sorry..
SEIFER: BUT 24 and a half is the answer?
FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE
RAIJIN: You're right ya know!
ODINE: THIRD QUEZTION: Fill in the mizzing vord for thiz Holiday zong... ahem (*sings) "__________ the red noze reindeer .."
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
SELPHIE: ANGELO! (*sings) "Angelo the red nose reindeer!
RINOA: But MY Angelo is not a deer?!
SELPHIE: Ooppsss. Sorry Rin
ODINE: WRONG! Alright clue: ztartz vith letter "R" RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ELLONE: Ummmm..
LAGUNA: Yes! GO ELLIE!
KIROS: GO ELLIE
WARD: ....!
ELLONE: RINOA! (*sings) "RINOA the red nose reindeer!
SQUALL: SIS!
ELLONE: HEHEHE sorry squall, please don't get mad at me.
ODINE: I'm zo zorry Mizz Ellie but that'z not the right anzwer.
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
FUJIN:RAGNAROK!
SEIFER: YEAH that's right! You're so Brilliant!
ODINE: No I'm so sorry
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: RUDOLF! (*sings) "RUDOLF the red nose reindeer!
ODINE: Oh uh! You guyz are zick! the appropriate anzwer iz (sings) "RAIJIN the red nose reindeer!
RAIJIN: What ?! I'm no reindeer ya know!
ODINE: Okay that endz our firzt round. But before we proceed to the next round let uz. Look at the zcoreboard: HEY! CID?! Pliz announce the zcorez! CID: YEAH! Red team: 0 points! Green team: 0 points, Yellow team: 0 points and Blue team: 0 points ODINE: Ohhhhhhhh! That'z zo mizerable! Next round! Firzt queztion : He iz the general in Deling City and he iz alzo Rinoa'z father. Who iz thiz man?
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ELLONE: General Mac Arthur!
ODINE: ...
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
FUJIN: GENERAL LAGUNA?
LAGUNA: HEY I'm a President of...
KIROS: (*interrupts) LAGUNA! Calm down
ODINE: GEEZZZ
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
SELPHIE: I know! I know! General Cid!
CID: Hmmmm
ODINE: How about blue team?
RINOA: Of course he's my father, General Cabbage..I mean Caraway
ODINE: Vhat kind of a daughter are you? Your father'z name iz GEN. MERCHANDISE!
RINOA: Squall, I wanna go home.
ODINE: Zecond queztion: It iz the magic word zaid to open the cave of wonderz-(from the Story Ali Baba)
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: OPEN SESAME street?
ODINE: cloze
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: "ALA PEANUT BUTTER with hotdog SANDWICHES!"
ODINE: NO! ELLONE: SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS! (*gasp)
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: OPEN UP! OR I'LL ...
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
SQUALL: OPEN SESAME!
ODINE: CID? Can ve change the title of the zhow? Battle of the brainlezz iz more appropriate! OH WELL! the anzwer iz: KNOCK! KNOCK!
AUDIENCE: (*in unison ..imitating Squall) Whatever..
ODINE: Last queztion: zhe iz known az a zorcerezz with a bewitching beauty who appeared in Galbadia. Zhe iz Cid'z wife, who iz zhe?
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
FUJIN: ADEL?
CID: NO WAY! She's so ugly!
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ELLONE: ULTIMECIA?
ULTIMECIA: WHAT? CID HE IS.MY HUSBAND?! (*blushes)
CID: ewwwww...
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
SELPHIE: RINOA?
SQUALL: WHAT THE? CID? WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?
CID: SELPHIE .you kiddin right?
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: Of course MATRON EDEA!
ODINE: THE CORRECT ANZWER IZ. Mrs. Catherine Zeta Jones.Kramer
CID: HUH?
ODINE: OW! PLIZ CID the zcorez.
CID: WELL um..still. Red team : 0 points! Green team: 0 points,Yellow team: 0 points and Blue team: 0 points
RAIJIN: YEHEY GREEN TEAM GOT 0 POINTS, YA KNOW!
SEIFER: SHUT UP RAIJIN! YOU'RE TOO NOISY
FUJIN: RAGE! ODINE: Don't worry young people you all ztill have round three. Firzt queztion: Who is the main male protagonizt (protagonist) in Chrono Crozz? Clue: ztartz vith letter "Z"
CID: um.. that's letter "S" Odine and that is Chrono Cross.
ODINE: You know that I cannot pronounce that letter right becauze of my beautifullllll accent.
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: SINDERELLA?
SELPHIE: Irvy, Cinderella not Sinderella! Um. our answer is Sleeping Beauty
ODINE: (*sticks his tongue out)
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: NO you're wrong messenger girl the answer is Snow White
ODINE: HELLO?! I ZAID MALE NOT FEMALE
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: SEIFER?
ODINE: NO
ELLONE: SQUALL?
ODINE: NO
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
SQUALL: GUYS?! Odine the answer is.Serge
ODINE: YOU GUYZ ARE A BUNCH OF...
CID: ODINE? They're just kids
ODINE: Zephiroth (Sephiroth)iz the right anzwer! RED TEAM, GREEN TEAM and YELLOW TEAM: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ZELL: ..this show is really educational!(*smiling from ear to ear)
ODINE: How about in FF7, who is the main male protagonist? ZTARTZ VITH "C"
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: CARBUNCLE
GREEN TEAM: BURP BURP
SEIFER: Oh I hate that buzzer. um the answer is Caraway?
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: Christopher Robbins? (Winnie the pooh)
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: CLOUD STRIFE?
ODINE: KIDZ? I'm zo zad to zay that the anzwer iz none other than CID?
CID: ME?!
ODINE: Lazt queztion! Everybody lizten carefully! For 500 pointz who iz the mozt handzome, the mozt dazhing, brainy, coolest guy and the main protagonizt (protagonist) in FF8?
GREEN TEAM: BURPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
AUDIENCE: SAY EXCUSE ME!!!!
SEIFER:Hey that was easy, obviously the answer is Seifer Almasy! why, that's me?
FUJIN: AFFIRMATIVE
ODINE: Sorry Green Team
SEIFER: BUT?
RAIJIN: I'm with you Seifer, ya know!
RED TEAM: OINK! OINK!
ZELL: Me! Zell Dincht!
ELLONE: No! Uncle Laguna!.Kiros or Ward or.
ODINE: ...
YELLOW TEAM: TOT! TOT!
IRVINE: Guys! Look.. I, Irvine Kinneas is the mozt handsome, most ..
SELPHIE: No wait! Cid Kramer because he is our headmaster!
ODINE: Sorry Yellow team
BLUE TEAM: BEEP! BEEP!
RINOA: Of course my lovey-dabby, my knight in shinning armor, my Squally- bear! Squall Leonhart !
LAGUNA: Yipeeeeeeeeee!
KIROS: Mr President?
WARD:.....?
QUISTIS: I agree with her
TREPIES: QUISTIS! QUISTIS!
QUISTIS: HUH! NOT AGAIN! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU ALL!
ANGELO: URF! URF!
ULTIMECIA: GRIEVER! MAKE THEM BLEED!
SQUALL: Not me?! Then who?
ODINE: IT IZ I ODINE! IT IZ ZO OBVIOUZ! OHHHHH! I'M ZO ZORRY TO ZAY THAT NO ONE WINZ THIZ GAME ZO THE PRIZE GOEZ TO THE HANDZOME HOZT! OKAY UNTIL NEXT WEEK...
CID: OKAY I'M OUTTA HERE BYE BYE!
ODINE: JOIN UZ AGAIN FOR...
SEIFER: HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
ZELL: BLAST IT!
IRVINE: Seifer, I've got an idea! Can we kill this psycho?
SEIFER: YEAH! How about you guys?
ELLONE: Yup! Yup! Yup!
SELPHIE: and blow him out to smithereens
FUJIN: ZAN
RAIJIN: YEAH! Ya know!
LAGUNA: Kiros! Call all the soldiers in Esthar, quick!
KIROS: My pleasure Mr. President
WARD: ......
QUISTIS: OKAY TREPIES ATTACK ODINE NOW!
TREPIES: ATTACK ODINE! ATTACK ODINE!
ULTIMECIA: foolish SeeDs!
RINOA: Angelo kill Odine! Kill!
ANGELO: GRRRRR! ARF! ARF!
ODINE: .ZE YA ALL GUYZ TO AHHHHHHH! ZTOP IT!
ANGELO: ARF ARF!
ODINE: MY LEGZZZZ!
RINOA: ANGEL WING!
ODINE: NOOOOO! ZTOP IT! IT HURTZ!
FUJIN: ZAN!
ODINE: CUT IT OUT OHHHH MY HAIR!
TREPIES: KILL! KILL! KILL!
ODINE: URGGGG!
SEIFER: Mr. Puberty boy, can we join the party? My hands were itching.
SQUALL: Okay! LIONHEART!
ODINE: AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
*****The end***** So what? Do you think I should continue this "writer thing"? Well yeah you're right this story sucks and I feel stupid writing this cheap story so maybe I should quit this career and be a...HOLLYWOOD director! See ya!