Kryptonite
-----------
Song by Three Doors Down
Fic by rinoastar
-----------
Disclaimers/Warnings: Slight shonen-ai (1+2/2+1, 3+4/4+3, 5+Trieze (or
Zechs, however you want to interpret it.)), angst. I don't
own Gundam Wing. I just like to watch it! Song by Three
Doors Down.
-----------
I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
---
Duo frowned at Hiiro when he slammed his laptop
closed. "Where 'ya going, Hii-chan?" he asked.
"Out, " came Hiiro's short reply.
"When'll 'ya be back?"
"When I damn well feel like it, " Hiiro snapped
and walked out of the door.
---
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
---
Hiiro wandered into the neat little backyard of
their current safehouse. It was decorated tastefully
by Wufei in the traditional Chinese Garden style. In its
center, a beautiful topiary that Quatre had hand-grown sat.
The little blonde had been so proud when the orchids had
finally bloomed within their glass shell.
Sometimes Hiiro wondered what it would be like
to be someone like the other pilots. Cheerful and emotional,
like Duo. Brave and intelligent, like Trowa. Kind and
innocent, like Quatre. Determined and sure, like Wufei.
He couldn't see himself as that type of person. Sometimes,
along with the rest of the world, Hiiro wondered if he really
even was a person.
---
I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
---
Hiiro never bothered to ask himself why he fought.
He remembered the answers the other pilots had given in
response to the same question.
'I want revenge, ' Duo had stated, tears brimming
over in his amethyst eyes. 'I want revenge for the people
they took from me.'
'I haven't a life. Who better to fight, than a
nameless nothing? Why make people who matter die, when I
can do it?' Trowa had returned with a question of his own.
Quatre's aqua eyes had filled with tears to hear it.
'That's not true, Trowa. You do matter to
somebody, ' he had placed a warm hand on the tall boy's
arm. It made Hiiro's insides burn to hear something so
caring directed at someone who needed it so badly.
'I fight so no one else has to, ' Quatre had
answered softly.
'I fight for justice, ' Wufei had given the expected
answer. 'I fight for Nataku, ' he had added in a hoarse
whisper. 'Meiran.' Hiiro wondered if he would ever care
for anyone the way Wufei had for his wife. The young man
was in the prime of his life and was still mourning Meiran.
---
I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you
---
Two people confused Hiiro more than he dared think
about. Duo, his cheerful, eternally energetic roommate,
and Relena, the obsessive, yet persitant girl that was in
love with him.
Relena was pretty, smart, kind, and innocent. She
was everything he wished he could be. Duo was always
teasing him about her adorations. Who in his right mind
could refuse the Queen of the World?
On the other hand, Duo confused him in a different
way. His feelings for Relena could be interpreted fairly
well, but Duo was another boy! Boys weren't supposed to
feel this way about other boys!
Hiiro knew that one day, if they all lived through
the war he would have to choose. However, until that day,
he decided not to make a choice. That way, if something
happened to any of them, it would be easier on all of them.
Plus, it would give him time to sort out his feelings.
So for the time being, he would try to ignore the
pained expression on Relena's face when he dismissed her,
and the confusing flutters in his stomach when Duo
sighed his name in his sleep.
---
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end
---
Although he tried to deny it, the comeradery between
the pilots was so strong it was almost tangible. Still, he
often lay awake at night, wondering what would become of
them when their duty was fulfilled.
Duo would probably move back to L2, likely to open
a scrap compound with Howard and maybe even Hirde. Hiiro
disliked this Noin look-alike, and he didn't know why.
It probably had something to do with the way she always
had Duo's undivided attention.
Trowa would go back to the circus with Kathrine.
There was no doubt in Hiiro's mind about that. Trowa
belonged at the circus, with his wild lions that he loved
so much. At times, it seemed that Trowa was one of the
graceful creatures. Wild and beautiful, yet dangerous.
Quatre had obligations to fill on L4. His father's
shoes were a big pair to fill, but Hiiro knew Quatre could
handle it. Family was very important to the Arab boy.
Hiiro could see him raising a family with a lovely young
lady. He wished them the best.
Still, there was a possibility that Quatre could
end up with Trowa. The tall boy was oblivious to the
tiny blonde's longing stares and gentle guestures. In
turn, the small boy was unaware of Trowa's fierce
protectiveness over him, and the two made quite an adorable
pair.
Hiiro wondered how at least three out of five of
them had ended up being 'gay. ' He hated the word. In
fact, he was almost certain that the three of them were
bisexual, not completely homosexual. Trowa had explained
it to him once.
'When you've been through as much as we have, gender
suddenly stops mattering as much as it did, ' the lanky
pilot had said quietly to him. Trowa rarely said anything,
but when he did, it was always important.
He chocked the entire thing up to an article he'd
read somewhere. It had stated that when a young male
put in a close area with another for an extended period of
time, they had a chance of becoming 'confused. ' Especially
when it occurred before or during puberty. It had been
called 'post-war syndrome, ' and had been rumored to have
been studied in A.D. 1990-something.
Wufei. He could not see a future for Wufei. No
matter how hard he tried, it would not come. Wufei was a
match, struck quickly and used just as fast. He was bright,
powerful, and dangerous. If he continued at the rate he was
going, he would burn out before he even had a chance to
make a difference.
Hiiro saw no future for himself, either. All he
knew was war. He had seen nothing else, had lived nothing
else. He was a soldier. The Perfect Soldier, as he had been
dubbed by the scientists. He knew it was just a name, but
when he recieved the e-mail from them stating that they had
changed his codename, it made him angry. He felt as if being
the Perfect Soldier was the only thing they knew him for.
He wanted to be more. He wanted to so badly, but didn't know
how.
---
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
---
All his life, Hiiro had been kept away from things.
Duo would tease him constantly about his upbringing, how
he'd never been to a movie before, how he'd never been kissed,
how he'd never really done anything just for fun. He didn't
understand that that also meant that he'd never been hugged,
never been told how important he was. He never assumed that
maybe Hiiro didn't know what he was missing.
---
You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
---
Hiiro secretly hated responsibilities. He hated having
the fate of the entire free world rest on his thin shoulders.
If he ever let them down, he knew, he would become the worst of
villains. It was depressing to think that if he made even the
tiniest of mistakes, the earth and the colonies would burn him
at the stake.
What he hated even more than that was the sad look would
appear on Duo and Quatre's faces when the news came on. Flashy
banners would streak across the television screen, saying things
like, "Gundam Pilots Murder 1,000 Today, " or "Do YOU Support the
Gundams? Keep These Radicals Out of Space." Hiiro wanted to
smash the television set into splinters, and would have if it
would keep the ungrateful colonists from saying more. Hypocrites.
---
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead
---
The colonists were ungrateful, in Hiiro's opinion. The
five of them worked constantly toward peace, only to have to
build it up again the next day. It was like busy ants storing
food for winter only to have a pestering gardener, who didn't
know what he was doing, wash their home away.
It was times like these that Hiiro really hated
Lady Une's choices. The death of Mr. Dorlian was a very big
tragedy, and Hiiro wasn't about to pretend that it wasn't.
Dorlian had preached the very things they were. He was
influential and would have been a real help to their cause.
Damn Lady Une. Damn OZ, making everything harder.
---
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground
---
There were so many deaths that were regrettable. One
that wasn't was Duke Dermail. Hiiro smirked to himself and
thought of a joke Duo had told Quatre after they described Dermail
and his granddaughter.
'I'll get you my pretty, and your Grandfather, too!'
Duo had cackled. At first, no one had gotten the point, but
Duo persistantly dropped hints until Trowa finally
pointed it out.
'Dorothy. Wizard of OZ, ' Trowa almost smiled.
Hiiro almost smiled at the comment, now. Duo had a quick wit,
and knew of a lot of American history. At one point, he made
a joke about Wufei that no one had caught onto until a month
later.
'This from the guy who thinks Julia Roberts movies are
biographies of himself!' Duo had snickered. It had taken a
month of research, but finally Quatre had discovered a 20th
century movie called "Sleeping With the Enemy." He procured
a copy, promptly whapped Duo across the forehead with it, and
gave it to Wufei. Who, in turn, paled and didn't speak to
them for a week.
---
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there holding my hand
---
Hiiro hesitantly reentered the safehouse. Duo was still
sprawled across the couch, but snoring loud enough to wake the
dead. He walked down the hallway toward his room, intending to
go to bed. As he passed the kitchen, he noticed that the light
was on.
Hiiro ducked his head into the kitchen and saw Quatre
at the table. A scrapbook was displayed in front of him, and
the tiny blonde was crying. Hiiro almost left, but Quatre looked
up.
"Don't worry. I'm alright, " Quatre smiled, wiping his
eyes. He guestured to a nearby chair. Hiiro sat down and looked
at the pictures.
"Who's that?" He pointed to a beautiful woman holding
a young girl, with several more in the background.
"That's my mother, " Quatre gently traced the edges of
the photo.
"She's pretty. Do you miss her?" Hiiro nodded.
Quatre sadly shook his head. "I've never met her. She
died giving birth to me. The girls are my sisters. "
Hiiro was at a loss for words. He'd always thought of
Quatre as untouchable. A distant angel that couldn't be peirced
by Earth's pain.
"Do you miss your mother, Hiiro?" Quatre bit his lower
lip. Hiiro shook his head. "Why not?"
"I never met her. I was raised by J. "
"How horrible!"
Hiiro mutely nodded. "I'll leave you to your peace.
I'm going to bed, " he said as he stood up.
"Hiiro, " Quatre started. Hiiro looked down at him and
nodded. "Don't tell the others what I told you tonight, please?"
"I won't tell if you don't tell that I talked to you, "
Hiiro's mouth turned up at the corners. He left the room,
carefully closing the door behind him. The dark hall loomed
ahead of him. At its end, the familiar sound of Wufei meditating
was heard. The light bells he chimed as he sat on the floor were
sweet with unnatural peace.
He opened the door just a bit and peered in. Wufei had
fallen asleep meditating. It was kind of cute, because Wufei
was just as rigid asleep as he was awake. A small framed
photograph lay next to him. The picture was of Meiran, Hiiro
knew. He closed the door again and left Wufei to his peace.
Hiiro turned around to go to his own room when he
noticed that the door to Quatre and Trowa's room was open.
Trowa was curled into a fetal position, clad only in pajama pants.
His sheet had slipped off of him and the moonlight shone on
his bare back. It was striped and criss-crossed with long,
jagged scars. None of them ever asked Trowa about his past,
and Hiiro understood that this was as close as he was probably
going to get to finding out.
Trowa cried out softly in his sleep and shuddered away
from the gentle moonlight. A slendar, yet strong hand reached
over his dark shoulder and pulled the blanket back over his
abused back. Hiiro didn't know what had happened to the tall
boy, but it had been bad. He slowly backed away and went
into his own room.
Hiiro shared his room with Duo. Duo's side of the room
was a mess. Manga covered the floor and bed, and clothes were
draped across the bed. A gun lay partially submerged under a
pile of clothes, a reminder of the war they fought. Hiiro
carefully lifted it and put it away.
His own side of the room was neat and orderly. It
looked as if no one was living there. Perfect. Just like he
was. Growling, he folded back the sheets on his bed. There
was nothing he could do about the nickname, even if he couldn't
live up to it.
---
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Yeah!!
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
---
~OWARI~
Like it? Hate it? Give me feedback either way!
I wanted to do a serious fic about the way Hiiro might feel. Just because
he acts like a rock doesn't mean he is one! Anyway, I was listening to the
radio and this song just reminded me of him. Don't you agree?
-----------
Song by Three Doors Down
Fic by rinoastar
-----------
Disclaimers/Warnings: Slight shonen-ai (1+2/2+1, 3+4/4+3, 5+Trieze (or
Zechs, however you want to interpret it.)), angst. I don't
own Gundam Wing. I just like to watch it! Song by Three
Doors Down.
-----------
I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
---
Duo frowned at Hiiro when he slammed his laptop
closed. "Where 'ya going, Hii-chan?" he asked.
"Out, " came Hiiro's short reply.
"When'll 'ya be back?"
"When I damn well feel like it, " Hiiro snapped
and walked out of the door.
---
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
---
Hiiro wandered into the neat little backyard of
their current safehouse. It was decorated tastefully
by Wufei in the traditional Chinese Garden style. In its
center, a beautiful topiary that Quatre had hand-grown sat.
The little blonde had been so proud when the orchids had
finally bloomed within their glass shell.
Sometimes Hiiro wondered what it would be like
to be someone like the other pilots. Cheerful and emotional,
like Duo. Brave and intelligent, like Trowa. Kind and
innocent, like Quatre. Determined and sure, like Wufei.
He couldn't see himself as that type of person. Sometimes,
along with the rest of the world, Hiiro wondered if he really
even was a person.
---
I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
---
Hiiro never bothered to ask himself why he fought.
He remembered the answers the other pilots had given in
response to the same question.
'I want revenge, ' Duo had stated, tears brimming
over in his amethyst eyes. 'I want revenge for the people
they took from me.'
'I haven't a life. Who better to fight, than a
nameless nothing? Why make people who matter die, when I
can do it?' Trowa had returned with a question of his own.
Quatre's aqua eyes had filled with tears to hear it.
'That's not true, Trowa. You do matter to
somebody, ' he had placed a warm hand on the tall boy's
arm. It made Hiiro's insides burn to hear something so
caring directed at someone who needed it so badly.
'I fight so no one else has to, ' Quatre had
answered softly.
'I fight for justice, ' Wufei had given the expected
answer. 'I fight for Nataku, ' he had added in a hoarse
whisper. 'Meiran.' Hiiro wondered if he would ever care
for anyone the way Wufei had for his wife. The young man
was in the prime of his life and was still mourning Meiran.
---
I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you
---
Two people confused Hiiro more than he dared think
about. Duo, his cheerful, eternally energetic roommate,
and Relena, the obsessive, yet persitant girl that was in
love with him.
Relena was pretty, smart, kind, and innocent. She
was everything he wished he could be. Duo was always
teasing him about her adorations. Who in his right mind
could refuse the Queen of the World?
On the other hand, Duo confused him in a different
way. His feelings for Relena could be interpreted fairly
well, but Duo was another boy! Boys weren't supposed to
feel this way about other boys!
Hiiro knew that one day, if they all lived through
the war he would have to choose. However, until that day,
he decided not to make a choice. That way, if something
happened to any of them, it would be easier on all of them.
Plus, it would give him time to sort out his feelings.
So for the time being, he would try to ignore the
pained expression on Relena's face when he dismissed her,
and the confusing flutters in his stomach when Duo
sighed his name in his sleep.
---
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end
---
Although he tried to deny it, the comeradery between
the pilots was so strong it was almost tangible. Still, he
often lay awake at night, wondering what would become of
them when their duty was fulfilled.
Duo would probably move back to L2, likely to open
a scrap compound with Howard and maybe even Hirde. Hiiro
disliked this Noin look-alike, and he didn't know why.
It probably had something to do with the way she always
had Duo's undivided attention.
Trowa would go back to the circus with Kathrine.
There was no doubt in Hiiro's mind about that. Trowa
belonged at the circus, with his wild lions that he loved
so much. At times, it seemed that Trowa was one of the
graceful creatures. Wild and beautiful, yet dangerous.
Quatre had obligations to fill on L4. His father's
shoes were a big pair to fill, but Hiiro knew Quatre could
handle it. Family was very important to the Arab boy.
Hiiro could see him raising a family with a lovely young
lady. He wished them the best.
Still, there was a possibility that Quatre could
end up with Trowa. The tall boy was oblivious to the
tiny blonde's longing stares and gentle guestures. In
turn, the small boy was unaware of Trowa's fierce
protectiveness over him, and the two made quite an adorable
pair.
Hiiro wondered how at least three out of five of
them had ended up being 'gay. ' He hated the word. In
fact, he was almost certain that the three of them were
bisexual, not completely homosexual. Trowa had explained
it to him once.
'When you've been through as much as we have, gender
suddenly stops mattering as much as it did, ' the lanky
pilot had said quietly to him. Trowa rarely said anything,
but when he did, it was always important.
He chocked the entire thing up to an article he'd
read somewhere. It had stated that when a young male
put in a close area with another for an extended period of
time, they had a chance of becoming 'confused. ' Especially
when it occurred before or during puberty. It had been
called 'post-war syndrome, ' and had been rumored to have
been studied in A.D. 1990-something.
Wufei. He could not see a future for Wufei. No
matter how hard he tried, it would not come. Wufei was a
match, struck quickly and used just as fast. He was bright,
powerful, and dangerous. If he continued at the rate he was
going, he would burn out before he even had a chance to
make a difference.
Hiiro saw no future for himself, either. All he
knew was war. He had seen nothing else, had lived nothing
else. He was a soldier. The Perfect Soldier, as he had been
dubbed by the scientists. He knew it was just a name, but
when he recieved the e-mail from them stating that they had
changed his codename, it made him angry. He felt as if being
the Perfect Soldier was the only thing they knew him for.
He wanted to be more. He wanted to so badly, but didn't know
how.
---
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
---
All his life, Hiiro had been kept away from things.
Duo would tease him constantly about his upbringing, how
he'd never been to a movie before, how he'd never been kissed,
how he'd never really done anything just for fun. He didn't
understand that that also meant that he'd never been hugged,
never been told how important he was. He never assumed that
maybe Hiiro didn't know what he was missing.
---
You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
---
Hiiro secretly hated responsibilities. He hated having
the fate of the entire free world rest on his thin shoulders.
If he ever let them down, he knew, he would become the worst of
villains. It was depressing to think that if he made even the
tiniest of mistakes, the earth and the colonies would burn him
at the stake.
What he hated even more than that was the sad look would
appear on Duo and Quatre's faces when the news came on. Flashy
banners would streak across the television screen, saying things
like, "Gundam Pilots Murder 1,000 Today, " or "Do YOU Support the
Gundams? Keep These Radicals Out of Space." Hiiro wanted to
smash the television set into splinters, and would have if it
would keep the ungrateful colonists from saying more. Hypocrites.
---
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead
---
The colonists were ungrateful, in Hiiro's opinion. The
five of them worked constantly toward peace, only to have to
build it up again the next day. It was like busy ants storing
food for winter only to have a pestering gardener, who didn't
know what he was doing, wash their home away.
It was times like these that Hiiro really hated
Lady Une's choices. The death of Mr. Dorlian was a very big
tragedy, and Hiiro wasn't about to pretend that it wasn't.
Dorlian had preached the very things they were. He was
influential and would have been a real help to their cause.
Damn Lady Une. Damn OZ, making everything harder.
---
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground
---
There were so many deaths that were regrettable. One
that wasn't was Duke Dermail. Hiiro smirked to himself and
thought of a joke Duo had told Quatre after they described Dermail
and his granddaughter.
'I'll get you my pretty, and your Grandfather, too!'
Duo had cackled. At first, no one had gotten the point, but
Duo persistantly dropped hints until Trowa finally
pointed it out.
'Dorothy. Wizard of OZ, ' Trowa almost smiled.
Hiiro almost smiled at the comment, now. Duo had a quick wit,
and knew of a lot of American history. At one point, he made
a joke about Wufei that no one had caught onto until a month
later.
'This from the guy who thinks Julia Roberts movies are
biographies of himself!' Duo had snickered. It had taken a
month of research, but finally Quatre had discovered a 20th
century movie called "Sleeping With the Enemy." He procured
a copy, promptly whapped Duo across the forehead with it, and
gave it to Wufei. Who, in turn, paled and didn't speak to
them for a week.
---
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there holding my hand
---
Hiiro hesitantly reentered the safehouse. Duo was still
sprawled across the couch, but snoring loud enough to wake the
dead. He walked down the hallway toward his room, intending to
go to bed. As he passed the kitchen, he noticed that the light
was on.
Hiiro ducked his head into the kitchen and saw Quatre
at the table. A scrapbook was displayed in front of him, and
the tiny blonde was crying. Hiiro almost left, but Quatre looked
up.
"Don't worry. I'm alright, " Quatre smiled, wiping his
eyes. He guestured to a nearby chair. Hiiro sat down and looked
at the pictures.
"Who's that?" He pointed to a beautiful woman holding
a young girl, with several more in the background.
"That's my mother, " Quatre gently traced the edges of
the photo.
"She's pretty. Do you miss her?" Hiiro nodded.
Quatre sadly shook his head. "I've never met her. She
died giving birth to me. The girls are my sisters. "
Hiiro was at a loss for words. He'd always thought of
Quatre as untouchable. A distant angel that couldn't be peirced
by Earth's pain.
"Do you miss your mother, Hiiro?" Quatre bit his lower
lip. Hiiro shook his head. "Why not?"
"I never met her. I was raised by J. "
"How horrible!"
Hiiro mutely nodded. "I'll leave you to your peace.
I'm going to bed, " he said as he stood up.
"Hiiro, " Quatre started. Hiiro looked down at him and
nodded. "Don't tell the others what I told you tonight, please?"
"I won't tell if you don't tell that I talked to you, "
Hiiro's mouth turned up at the corners. He left the room,
carefully closing the door behind him. The dark hall loomed
ahead of him. At its end, the familiar sound of Wufei meditating
was heard. The light bells he chimed as he sat on the floor were
sweet with unnatural peace.
He opened the door just a bit and peered in. Wufei had
fallen asleep meditating. It was kind of cute, because Wufei
was just as rigid asleep as he was awake. A small framed
photograph lay next to him. The picture was of Meiran, Hiiro
knew. He closed the door again and left Wufei to his peace.
Hiiro turned around to go to his own room when he
noticed that the door to Quatre and Trowa's room was open.
Trowa was curled into a fetal position, clad only in pajama pants.
His sheet had slipped off of him and the moonlight shone on
his bare back. It was striped and criss-crossed with long,
jagged scars. None of them ever asked Trowa about his past,
and Hiiro understood that this was as close as he was probably
going to get to finding out.
Trowa cried out softly in his sleep and shuddered away
from the gentle moonlight. A slendar, yet strong hand reached
over his dark shoulder and pulled the blanket back over his
abused back. Hiiro didn't know what had happened to the tall
boy, but it had been bad. He slowly backed away and went
into his own room.
Hiiro shared his room with Duo. Duo's side of the room
was a mess. Manga covered the floor and bed, and clothes were
draped across the bed. A gun lay partially submerged under a
pile of clothes, a reminder of the war they fought. Hiiro
carefully lifted it and put it away.
His own side of the room was neat and orderly. It
looked as if no one was living there. Perfect. Just like he
was. Growling, he folded back the sheets on his bed. There
was nothing he could do about the nickname, even if he couldn't
live up to it.
---
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Yeah!!
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
---
~OWARI~
Like it? Hate it? Give me feedback either way!
I wanted to do a serious fic about the way Hiiro might feel. Just because
he acts like a rock doesn't mean he is one! Anyway, I was listening to the
radio and this song just reminded me of him. Don't you agree?