Hey, guess what? I own NOTHING! THIS STORY IS DISCLAIMED! DISCLAIMED!
Well, I take that back. I (and a certain ebony goddess) own Mary. And I'll take on anyone who says otherwise ya hear!
Now onto the magic.
"Oh my God!" Buffy Summers said as she saw her younger sister exit the plane.
Don't get her wrong. She was happier to see Dawn than anyone in the world. She had been terrified for her safety after hearing what the mutant terrorist Magneto had done to New York. Still her sister's appearance was rather…shocking.
Spike raised an eyebrow.
"The Bit certainly has changed."
Dawn walked out of the private plane (provided by the Worthington Foundation) in clothes that Buffy had never thought possible for her sister to wear. For starters, Dawn was wearing fishnets: FISHNETS! That and the skirt was so short that Faith wouldn't consider wearing it. But that made sense. Faith was more of a leather pants girl anyway. The shirt was a simple t-shirt though it was black (not the usual Dawnie color) and it exposed her midriff.
"Is she wearing…" Willow said squinting.
Spike smirked.
"A Ramones shirt. Always knew that girl had taste."
Buffy didn't add anything to the conversation. She just stared at her sister's hair.
"Hey Buffy!" Dawn said, walking up to her sister and embracing her tightly.
"It's…. green! You've been soaked in Gamma Rays!" Buffy stammered.
"Yeah! Way cool huh? Jean helped me dye it!" Dawn squealed enthusiastically.
"You've gone punk." Tara said, "I like it."
"Thanks Tara. Girl's gotta change her style every now and then." Dawn smiled.
"Tell me about it. The only time I wear dresses or peasant tops is around the house." Tara replied.
"That's because your ass looks good in leather." Willow said to her telepathically.
"Don't I know it."
"MY sister…is a punk…" Buffy said, almost going cross-eyed.
Dawn frowned.
"You don't like it?" she asked.
"No…I like it. It's just…I need time to get used to it." Buffy replied honestly.
"Why? Spike's a punk. You like his style."
"Beg to differ: I'm not A punk. I AM punk. Also I think the look is quite fetching. You an me'll go start some bar fights soon." Spike added, "Got a hug for me Nibblit?"
Dawn hugged Spike as hard as she did Buffy.
"I so missed you guys. Xavier's is fun, but I still miss being here." Dawn said as she looked at her family.
"Where's Connor? I thought he'd be here." Willow asked.
"Well he decided to stay in New York and help out the X-Men. Alex figured he had a lot of combat experience and they could use it. We don't know anything about Scott or Jean yet." Dawn said, suddenly becoming quiet.
"They'll be okay. We'll just wait to get a call." Buffy said, putting a hand on her sister's shoulder, "Maybe we can even get Willow to have Dr. Strange look for them."
"Yeah. I'll call him as soon as we get home. We'll both look into it." Willow smiled warmly.
"Can you tell him to keep an eye on Alex and Connor too?" Dawn asked.
"No problem." Willow smiled.
"So Dawn, tell us all about Xavier's. We read about it on the net. Spike even went to the message boards on its website I think." Tara said.
"Yeah. Heh. Got a story to tell you about that one. Hilarious." Spike grinned.
The look on Mazikeen's face had been priceless when Juggernaut walked into Lux after receiving emails from "her" calling him a pussy assed bastard.
"Well let's see. I met some new friends, got possessed while I was there, took some classes. Standard stuff." Dawn said.
"Did you just say you got possessed?" Buffy asked.
"Like you never have! Besides, it was only for like an hour. Professor Xavier and this cutie named Kaworu took care of it." Dawn replied.
"What about your nose?" Spike asked, just now noticing the bandage.
"Yeah, I was going to ask about that after the shock of your hair wore off. What happened?" Buffy asked as well.
"Guy named Sabretooth hit me. Don't worry. Juggernaut took care of him." Dawn explained, "Plus I figure Willow and Tara got some spell to take care of it."
Then she stopped walking with the others and just realized something.
"Where's everyone else?" she questioned.
"Well, school's started so Principal Wood is…. Principaling. He's working late. I still have my counseling job too. Yay me." Buffy grinned, "Kennedy is at home resting. She had a run in with a vampire the other night and lost some blood. She's trying to recover."
"Well I was actually wondering more about Xander."
It got quiet.
"Dawnie…it's the day." Buffy stated.
"What day? What do you mean?" Dawn asked.
Willow stepped in.
"Dawn, Anya died six months ago today." She explained.
"Oh my God. I totally forgot." Dawn said covering her mouth, "That sounds insensitive, like I forgot she was ever here."
"No it wasn't. I just think we keep forgetting she's gone. It's like when…well when you guys died." Willow said gesturing to Tara and Buffy.
"Shouldn't we be there for Xander? I mean he might need us." Dawn questioned.
"It's okay Dawn. Xander's all right. He's good." Buffy said.
"You sure?"
"Absolutely."
"I'm tired and I want to go home. Head straight to my bed. I had another drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head!" Xander sang off key in a booth.
An assortment of bottles and glasses lay before him as the world spun.
"Here's to ya An!" he said, taking a shot of Tequila, "Ew. This stuff sucks ass….how much more do I have?"
Xander smirked and poured another shot. He downed it and again grimaced in disgust.
"Man this is like a train wreck. It's horrible but I can't look away…or stop drinking it. That was funny. More people should hear me be funny. I'm a funny guy. Funniest guy alive. Also the drunkest. Drunkest…that's a funny word. To drunkestness…. I know that can't be a word." Xander said before taking another shot, "Oh man this stuff sucks."
"You're supposed to take salt and lemon with it Harris. Leave it to me to save your ass yet again." A voice said from beside the booth.
Xander looked over and the sight of this woman sober would have made him horny, much less the sight of her with beer goggles on. She had dark skin, obviously Latina or at least with some Hispanic blood in her. You wouldn't know it by what else she wore. Dirty, scuffed up cowboy boots adorned her feet while her lower body had on the smallest and tightest pair of Daisy Dukes he had ever seen on a woman. Half of a white wifebeater was on her torso…showing that she was very ample in that area. She had long and obviously bleached blonde hair that clung to her shoulders and brown eyes that could make a gay man go straight. She sat down in the booth right across from Xander and smirked at him in a way that made him glad to be a guy.
Then recognition hit him even in his drunken state.
"Mary…Mary Sanchez. Long time no see." Xander smiled.
"Yeah. I've been away for so long." Mary said with sarcasm that was lost on the inebriated heart of the Scooby Gang.
"Haven't seen you in…since the big snake." Xander hiccupped.
Mary smirked again.
"How long have you been drinking?" she asked.
"Two hours or so."
"And you're already tipsy? Pussy." Mary laughed, leaning forward elbows on the table.
"Yeah? I'd like to see you drink what I have." Xander retorted.
At that, Mary grabbed the bottle of Tequila on the table and drank straight from the bottle. She chugged the whole damned thing down in front of Xander whose eyes pretty much told the story.
"Damn." Xander struggled for words.
Mary let loose an unladylike belch and wiped her mouth.
"Yeah. I get that from dad I guess. So what got you in the mood to drink by yourself?" Mary asked.
Xander pondered this incredibly hot woman in front of him. He'd known her from high school but was never really on speaking terms with her. She was from a different clique than he was. He helped fight the monsters, she got high, drunk, and laid all the time. Two different worlds.
Don't get him wrong, he'd always wanted to get to know her better, perhaps in the Biblical sense, but it was odd that someone he hadn't seen in about five years came up to him and asked his problems. Still, she was hot and Xander was drunk.
"Oh, just her. She's gone. Gone away." Xander sighed, not really explaining much, though Mary nodded and seemed to understand.
"Don't worry Xand. She'll be back." Mary said with a reassuring smile.
"No! No you don't understand! She's gone for good. I'm never going to see her again. I just wish she didn't leave me like that. I miss her so much." Xander said sadly.
"It'll be okay." Mary said, putting her hand on his.
"I love her. I still do. Why'd she have to go?" he asked.
"You want advice, go to ma. I'm the one who fights and gets laid." Mary sighed.
"What the hell did that mean?" Xander wondered for all of three seconds.
Then he nearly slipped out of the booth.
"Whoa!" Mary said, getting out of the booth quickly and keeping him from falling out, "Maybe you should give it a rest for a while?"
"I'm fine." Xander slurred, "I'm fine and dandy."
"You're shitfaced." Mary replied.
"Perhaps so. But I'm still not shitfaced enough." Xander retorted.
"You need to go home." Mary explained.
"I'm fine. Just help me back into the booth."
"Xander."
"No seriously. Get me in the booth."
"I'm taking you home."
"Don't wanna go home. Wanna drink some more."
"Xander come on."
"No!"
"….We can fuck for a while if we leave."
"Let's go to my place."
"Neat new digs. When'd you get this place?" Mary asked.
"Oh I've had it for a while." Xander said, lying on the bed struggling to stay awake.
"It's cleaner than I thought you'd be." Mary said looking at the boxers on the floor, "Cleaner than I am. I swear dad's such a woman when it comes to a place being clean."
"Dad issues…I got those." Xander hiccupped.
"Yeah, trying to be just like him I see." Mary grinned as she shuffled through his CDs.
"Trying to be the opposite actually. Like it matters though." Xander sighed, "Life sucks."
"Tends to." Mary said as she put a CD in the stereo system.
Xander closed his eyes and then opened them again as a pulsing beat came across the speakers full blast.
"You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you." The song spat out slowly.
"Hey Mary…I like Nine Inch Nails as much as anybody else but I don't want to get kicked out for a noise complaint." Xander said sitting up just Mary's wifebeater hit his face.
She licked her lips and smirked.
"Shouldn't have brought me home then."
This all occurred at roughly 10:30 pm. By 3 am, Xander was very sober and very, very happy.
"OH. MY. GOD!" Xander smiled hugely, "That was the absolute best sex I have ever…EVER had in my life!"
"Make a girl blush why don't ya." Mary said, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her Daisy Dukes back pocket, "And don't be modest. You were holding back with me tonight."
"If I went any harder I would have gotten hurt." Xander said incredulously.
Mary smiled and lit up.
"Yeah and then I'd have to kiss it better. I think I like the idea of hurting you." Mary smirked, "Cig?"
"I'm good." Xander declined.
"K. Too bad we don't have some weed. Or some vodka. I'm thirsty as hell now." Mary admitted.
"Yeah. Me too. I can check the fridge and see what I got here." Xander said.
"Don't bother." Mary explained.
Her eyes went yellow and her teeth grew. Her forehead brows expanded and soon Xander realized he was in bed, naked, having just had sex with a vampire.
Three thoughts shot through his head.
1) No wonder Buffy went for dead guys!
2) Just my luck…AGAIN.
3) Oh shit.
"We got all we need right here baby." Mary cooed.
Across town, there was a vampire attack. Rather standard really. Someone stupid was outside late at night in the wrong place at the wrong time. Case in point, a lone vampire had cornered a young woman and had chased her down an alley. She screamed in fear as the demon licked its lips and stared at her.
"Mm mm mm. Baby, you look good enough to eat." The vampire grinned.
"Please. Let me go! I'll pay you! Please!" the women pleaded.
"Oh no. I got you where I want you." The vampire growled.
"Let the woman go." A commanding voice ordered from behind.
The vampire turned and saw another person behind him. From his posture it was obvious he was a vampire. He was wearing a leather jacket. He instinctively knew it had to be the Slayer's lapdog.
"Funny. I thought you'd be taller." The vampire smirked trying to intimidate the newcomer.
"Ooh, a joke. Funny. Almost as funny as me ripping your head off."
The vampire strode forward.
"Oh you gonna tear my head off fangless? That it?"
"Yep. I think I will." Came the cocky reply.
The vampire blurred and attacked the newcomer…and was thrown across the alley into the brick wall. His face was full of shock when his head was torn from his body and he crumbled to dust.
"Told you I'd tear your head off. Fledglings. I swear."
The woman inched closer to her savior.
"Oh my God! Thank you for saving me." She said, full of joy.
The newcomer turned in full game face making the woman scream again.
"You're welcome, bitch. Now start screaming." He growled.
The woman screamed again and ran, with the vampire calmly strolling behind her. There had to be an escape. There just had to be. She tripped and fell as she reached the alley's entrance. The woman struggled to rise again when she noticed the stiletto-heeled boot in her line of sight. She followed the boot up the leg, which were concealed in tight leather. Further up was tight bodice that pushed the feminine figure's breasts up. The woman whimpered when she saw the look of amusement on the new female's face. Her pale, pale face accentuated by her crop of bright red hair. The amusement abruptly left the new woman's face.
"Bored now." She sighed.
The vampire in the alley chuckled, "We'll just have to do something about that won't we Will?"
The female's face turned as she locked eyes with her mate. How she adored him.
"Play now?" she asked, almost child-like.
"Oh yeah. Definitely." He replied.
The woman on the ground was hefted into the air and her neck was violently ripped into on both sides by the two vampires. She was dead in less than a minute, feeding her new attackers.
The two dropped her lifeless body and locked their mouths into a painful kiss, accentuated by the woman's blood. Finally they broke it.
"Being dead and dust was no fun. This dead's better." She pouted then smiled mischievously.
"Oh yeah. This beats the hell out of Hell." Her mate grinned, "I love you Willow."
"Forever and ever?"
"And then some." He said gripping her roughly, obscenely.
"MMM. I love you Xander."
"Let's get back home. Getting late." The vampire who was (yet how could he be?) Xander Harris said.
"Oh, it's early. I wanna have some more fun." The mockery of Willow Rosenberg pouted.
"What? Torturing people in cages isn't fun anymore?" Xander smirked maliciously.
"Mmm, I'm sold. Maybe Master has picked me out a new puppy." She said, sing song.
"Mm. Now you're just trying to get me excited."
"Nuh uh. This does it though."
The Willow vampire licked the neck and cheek of the Xander vampire and grinned.
"Yeah. That does it."
Did you get that? Okay, back across town again….
"STAY AWAY FOUL DEMONESS!" Xander said making a cross with his fingers.
Mary laughed at that.
"Yeah, well smart ass that's not a perfect cross." Mary smirked as she crawled across the bed seductively.
A very nude Xander stood, back against the wall vainly trying to ward her off.
"I mean it! Stay back! I'm a friend of the Slayer! She doesn't like people trying to eat her friends!" Xander said in fright.
Mary cocked her head and laughed.
"Man I haven't seen you this afraid since the night we…wait a minute." Mary said narrowing her eyes at Xander.
She inhaled sharply and listened intently. Her eyes went wide and were full of anger.
"What the hell is going on here?!" she hissed.
"Oh shit. She's mad." Xander thought.
Mary was up in a flash and had Xander by the throat holding him up against the wall, six inches off the ground.
"Is this some sort of game you're pulling? To get in my pants? Oh you little bastard. You could have asked and I would have, but since you decided to trick me into it, I'm going to have your guts for garters. Literally." Mary growled.
"Mother." Xander whined.
"Oh yes Spike. Go out and check on the whelp. Dawn's worried about him and since you're nocturnal anyway it's just a little swing across town. Be there and be back." Spike grumbled as he walked towards Xander's apartment smoking a cigarette, "Bloody women. They're all damned well lucky that I have a weakness for Summers women. They could just wake up Red and she could zip over here on her bloody broomstick. But no, have no fear Spike can do it. If the Nance can't get himself on the right side so he doesn't choke on his vomit it's not my problem."
Spike's keen ears picked up the sound of a door being broken in. And he knew it came from Xander's apartment just up the sidewalk. He sighed and tossed his cigarette.
"Bollocks. What kind of trouble has he gotten himself into now? I am not saving his ass if he's made every women in town fall in love with him again or he's split himself in two." Spike sighed again, "Being a bad guy was so much easier."
And with that, the vampire shot off at preternatural speeds and leapt for Xander's balcony.
Xander flew the air and impacted his couch. He cringed when he looked up to the face of the vampire that was about to kill him. Still, she had a nice rack. Then he slapped himself for thinking about that when he was going to die.
He winced when the windows behind him exploded inwards and Spike rolled in and rose ready to fight. He took in the sight of the naked female vampire and smirked.
"Must say you have taste Harris, but you need to lay off the demon women." Spike laughed, "And for God's sakes put on some clothes."
"Just kill her!" Xander screeched, thankful that once again providence had saved his ass.
Spike turned back to the naked Mary and growled.
"Okay bint. Here's how it goes. You leave now or you leave in an ashtray. How's that sound?" Spike asked.
His response was a charge from the female vampire who launched herself at him with a guttural cry. She then wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him, full tongue. What's more Spike returned it fiercely. It felt…right.
That made Xander cock his head and go "Huh?"
Spike's mind caught up with him and the hated feeling that he hadn't felt in over a year and not for over a century before that kicked in: guilt. He pried her off with a shove and growled.
"Alright. Not the kind of attack I expected. Granted. But, fun as that was, let's fight." Spike said, fangs bared a bit.
Mary cocked her head and looked at Spike.
"Okay what the hell's going on here?" Mary asked.
"Something I've wondered for the last eight years." Xander said, pulling a couch cushion down over his privates.
"Ya know Harris, you should really check for a pulse or something before you invite someone in." Spike said, standing in front of the still downed Xander protectively. He watched Mary carefully.
"Hey! I was drunk!" Xander yelled.
"Yeah, well at least I still have the presence of mind to orchestrate kidnappings when I'm drunk." Spike growled.
"Oh yeah, let's bring THAT up now! You bashed my head in you ass!" Xander shouted, standing.
"Well maybe if you hadn't tried to fight me then that wouldn't have happened!" Spike growled.
"Oh and I was supposed to let you kidnap Willow and me?" Xander yelled.
"Woulda saved you some trouble." Spike replied.
"Ass clown."
"Poofter."
"WHOA NOW!" Mary said before whistling, "Slow down here!"
"You stay out of this." Xander said, "People who try to kill me have no say in matters in my apart….WHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE?!"
"You started talking and here we are." Spike sighed.
"Okay, at first I thought from the way you guys acted that you were just like face stealing demons or something but after hearing that I'm pretty sure you're the real deal." Mary stated, "More or less."
"What are you prattling on about?" Spike growled.
Mary smirked.
"You are so cute when you do that, dad." Mary smiled.
"Dad?" Xander asked.
"Harris, shut up!" Spike said irritably before looking back to Mary, "Dad?"
"You don't recognize me do you?" Mary asked.
"I'd remember…those." Spike said staring at her nude chest before feeling guilt and looking up quickly.
"Okay, but you know me right?" Mary asked Xander.
"Yeah, I knew you in high school before you became A BLOOD SUCKING FIEND!" Xander shouted.
"And you're alive right? As in you have a heartbeat and you sweat and stuff?" Mary asked.
"Hello, we had sex for a few hours. Those are things you don't tend to miss."
"Well, I kind of just concentrate on the sex to be honest." Mary admitted.
"You nailed her?" Spike asked, a combination of awe and jealousy for some reason.
"I am a demon magnet, yes we all know this." Xander replied, "She's sitting in my recliner. Please just dust her."
"Whoa! Hey now! No dusting!" Mary started, "Let me just get this straight okay? You know each other but Xander only knows me from high school before I was a vampire and Spike doesn't know me at all?"
"Yeah."
"Like I said. I'd remember…those."
Mary frowned at both of them.
"Well fuck." Mary sighed before screaming at the ceiling, "I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU WITCH BITCHES DID IT BUT THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE! BRING ME BACK NOW!"
"Uh, who are you yelling at?" Xander asked.
"Tara. Or Willow. I don't know which but they're the only ones who could do this shit to me." Mary growled.
"Do what?" Spike asked.
"Dump me in an alternate universe. The bitches."
"Back up a little?" Xander questioned.
"Okay, this is going to sound really messed up okay? But bear with me and please don't stake me before I'm done…" Mary sighed, "It all started senior year when mousy little Willow Rosenberg went missing…"
"This isn't right." The vampire screamed as he threw a chair across the empty Bronze, "Where are the cages?! Where are all the vampires?! Where's the Master?!"
His redheaded companion bristled and growled.
"I'm here again. I can smell all the stupid people that were here." She growled, "This sucks."
"What are you talking about?" the brunette vampire with Xander's face said turning to her.
The demon that wore Willow Rosenberg's body growled.
"The night the White Hats attacked us and we died…before I died I got brought here." She growled lowly, threateningly.
"Huh?"
"A fuzzy pink me brought me here. I tried to fix things but they stopped me and sent me back. Me, you, puppy, and the Slayer." The vampire Willow hissed.
"I'm not following." The vampire Xander said, furrowing his brow.
"It's another world like ours but with no Master, no fun puppy, and no ponies to ride. It's a dumb world." The vampire Willow said before savagely striking a table: breaking it, "I HATE THIS FUCKING WORLD!"
"Let me get this straight. It's another world that's like ours only the White Hats are in charge?" the vampire Xander asked.
"Uh huh. This place is less fun." Vamp Willow pouted.
"And there's people like us here, but they're not vampires?" Vamp Xander asked.
"Uh huh." Vamp Willow pouted again, sadly.
"Okay. I have thought this through. You got back before right?"
"Just to turn to dust."
"Don't worry about that. The Master can bring us back again if that happens. But, you got back right?"
"Uh huh."
"How?"
"The White Hats sent me back."
"Okay, really simple. We just get some of them, torture them and have them send us back." Vamp Xander smiled.
Vamp Willow's face brightened.
"Can we take the other me back too? She could be fun." Vamp Willow grinned.
"Oh yeah. I fully intend to have a three-way with two Willows."
"My Xander's a smarty everyday."
"I'm kind of perfect like that."
Spike and Xander, human version, blinked very slowly.
"You expect us to believe that?" Xander asked.
"You have a better explanation?" Mary asked.
"Gee, I don't know maybe the fact that you're crazy is a little easier to swallow than Spike and Drusilla turning pretty much every member of the Scoobies EVER into vampires and us still protecting Sunnydale with Buffy?" Xander retorted.
"You know, I really liked you better after we turned your ass Harris." Mary growled.
"Yeah well…at least I can still get a tan!" Xander replied, as he pulled on a t-shirt.
Mary flipped him the bird and looked at Spike.
"Spike? You believe me right?" Mary asked, slowly.
Spike, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, looked at Mary. That was a pretty outlandish story all things considered, but this girl. When he looked at her, he felt something. It was something that both aroused his demon and made his soul feel guilt. She was close to him. She felt like…no he'd never made one of those since that business with the First controlling him and even then he wasn't in his right mind. But he felt a bond between the two of them. Her blood called to him because it was HIS blood too. He'd made her. Or at least another Spike had.
"I don't know what to believe." Spike stated, "But there's an easy way to find out."
"That include dusting her?" Xander asked hopefully.
"No, you mental giant. We get Red to do one of her truth spells on her. Cleared things up when Tara came back, should clear things up now." Spike replied.
"That would mean we have to—"
"Take her to Buffy's house." Spike sighed.
"But didn't she tell us earlier that—"
"Don't finish that sentence because it's going to get me into severe trouble when I think about it." Spike said, thinking of the words Mary had said earlier considering she, Buffy, and himself. He couldn't stand up for a minute.
"Cool. Is she hot in this universe too?" Mary asked with a grin.
On the outskirts of town, a vintage black 1956 Desoto rumbled towards Sunnydale. He didn't know what had happened. It had been daytime when he was driving to Los Angeles and suddenly it was night. Something of that magnitude was usually bad so he decided to return to his base of operations. He had to find out what had happened. AS he approached Sunnydale however he could make out the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign that he could have sworn he had changed to "Welcome to SunnyHell". This wasn't right. But that sign sure as hell was an eyesore. His foot pressed down on the gas and he gunned for the damned sign. It collapsed with a satisfying crunching sound as he drove into it.
He then decided he needed a smoke. Opening his driver side door, he exited, one boot on the pavement followed by another. His long black duster swayed in the night air as the cigarette hung from his mouth. His hand gripped his Zippo and lit the fag in his mouth. He inhaled deeply before speaking in his cockney accent.
"Home, sweet home."