Slit My Throat
AN: Hey there, it's me again. I'm with a fanfic that more drama and angst than humor, so this isn't something I would normally do. Please pay heed to the warnings because there might be something you might not like in here. If you just happen to read it, enjoy. Also, bear in mind that this is Legolas's POV. The whole thing is thoughts. If you're confused about that, here's a hint: Legolas is thinking this whole thing, but imagining it as telling Aragorn.
Warnings: Slash, mentions of self mutilation, powerful thoughts in the sense of angst.
Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine.
The First And Only Chapter
Well....where shall I begin? Here's a place....Aragorn, I love you. I love you so much....if only you knew. I've written poetry about my love for you, sang of it in the still of the night, and dreamt of you for as long as I can remember.
If only you could become what you are to me. Thinking about me, writing about me, singing....unfortunately, that won't be happening any time soon, I presume.
Every night after I sing my love for you, I smile when the pain comes. Yes, the pain. I cut myself. With the dagger I keep under my bed. Not that you would care. If you knew, you would help me because I am your friend...not your lover.
If feels as though the only sounds I am familiar with are the sounds of my bitter laughter, the songs I sing for you, and your voice. Everything else seems so alienated to me. Yes, I have lost my mind for you.
No one knows about this except for myself. No one. And most definitely not you. You. You are my life. Yes, you. My life, my personality, my god. If only you knew that.
All the tears I have cried whilst mourning my true love for you....I could drown in them. I look at a rose and think of the love you and I could share. But then another thought comes to my head: Why should a rose represent our love; a rose always dies.
It hurts so much to love to the way I do. But I look at you –I look you straight in the eye– and realize how much you don't care. It hurts. But I don't smile when that pain comes. I mourn.
If I die today, would you miss me? I bet you would but not for the reason that I would like it to be. No, of course not that reason. That's absurd, right? Well, maybe to some....Not I.
I might still be here, but I'm actually dead inside. Yes, dead. Gone. Never coming back. You helped kill me. I hear your thoughts about Arwen. They kill me so slowly...agonizingly slowly. There will always be an empty space in my heart that can only be filled by you. You and you only.
And last but not least, the one thought that matters a lot to me when it comes to you. See the truth is, you could slit my throat...and with my last gasping breath, I would apologize for bleeding on you.
END.
A/N: So did you like it? Tell me in a nice review. Thanks.
NFG