Someone puts a spell on Harry! And now he can only say two lines, 1) Someone needs a hug! and 2) That's my job! Chaos ensues.
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One morning, as Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down to breakfast, a sinister figure waved their wand a cast a spell on Harry. The figure cackled menacingly, but no one noticed. Ron and Hermione were snogging and Harry was trying to ignore them.
They sat down to breakfast and started to eat. When Hermione saw the Daily Prophet, she gasped. "It says that Fudge was killed by Voldemort last night! That's awful!"
Harry opened his mouth, but instead of saying, "Hey, no one likes Fudge anyway", something else came out of his mouth.
"Hey, that's my job." A sudden hush came over people near them.
"What?!"
--
After the "Fudge Incident", which included mass panic, food fights, and strange conjurations of giant purple clouds, which were poisonous and sent many people to the Hospital Wing, Harry, Ron and Hermione went to Transfiguration.
"Today we will be turning tea kettles into… lemon drops?" Professor McGonagall shook her head and muttered, "No, scratch that, we'll be turning them into bunnies. Now, as you know, this type of transfiguration is extremely dangerous, and anyone caught fooling around will leave. Is that understood?"
Harry leaned over to whisper something to Ron, but ended up saying, in a loud, normal voice, "Someone needs a hug."
Professor McGonagall glared at him. "Mr. Potter! Five points from Gryffindor!" The Slytherins snickered, and the Gryffindors glared at him.
They carried on with their transfigurations, but halfway through the period, something exploded. It wasn't merely a spell gone wrong, though. It was…
"Death Eaters attacking! Oh my God! We're going to die!" McGonagall screamed, running out of the classroom. The students ran after her, but towards the action, not into a broom closet, like their professor.
Hmm. Interesting. I guess Snape was scared too, because he ran towards the exact same broom closet…
After a long, bloody battle, it was over. The Death Eaters had gone, leaving many dead and wounded. Part of the school had caved in, and many priceless paintings had been destroyed. In the middle of the carnage, Harry Potter stood calmly.
"I think everyone needs a hug."
--
The next day, Rufus Scrimgeour came to Hogwarts to talk to Dumbledore, and requested that Harry come along too. Harry was happy because he got to miss Transfiguration, which wouldn't have been too pleasant after what had happened last class. Dumbledore was not happy because he only had cinnamon-flavored drops instead of lemon drops. Oh well.
Scrimgeour was talking. "… Harry, the world is expecting you to aid the Ministry in fighting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" The world needs you to stand up! As Minister, I hereby order you to publicly help the Ministry in this fight!"
Dumbledore was about to intervene, but Harry, who was preparing to say, "No way, Jose", instead uttered something quite different.
"Someone needs a hug."
Everyone froze. Dumbledore and Scrimgeour looked at Harry strangely.
Dumbledore tried to ease the tension. "Lemon drop, anyone?" Scrimgeour accepted one, but, because they were actually cinnamon-flavored, they were very, very spicy.
"Hot! Water!" He ran around the room like a headless chicken with vocal chords, screaming for water, until Dumbledore drenched him with water, making him soaking wet.
Harry pouted. "That's my job."
--
That night, Harry and Ginny happened to be looking at Ron and Hermione as they started snogging once again. Ginny remarked, "That's sick. It's sick watching my brother snog my best friend, don't you think, Harry?"
Harry, who still hadn't learned to be quiet, said, "That's my job."
Ginny was dumbfounded. "Harry, do you like Hermione? I thought you liked me! I thought we were a couple!" She broke out in sobs.
Panicking, Harry tried to explain… "Someone needs a hug!" Ginny, furious, slapped him and ran to her dormitory.
It just wasn't his day.
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Continue? Yes? No? Please let me know!